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Engineereddisaster
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+ 19 How to run a cycle in the Joint (Volume I)

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As some of you may have noticed, I’ve been gone for a while. Where have I been? Shamefully, I’ve been doing hard time in the county jail. That’s right 30 days to life for a crime I didn’t commit. Ok, maybe I did it, maybe I didn’t, and it was really only 30 days not “to life”. Thought it sounded badass, and I’m pretty badass so I used it.
So I get arrested. You all know the routine. I make bail and have a court date set. After talking to my lawyer, I knew that I would do anywhere from 30 to 90 days.
Why were you arrested Ed? That’s none of your damn business, lets just say it involved Datelines Chris Hansen.
So I ran into a problem. I started my cycle two weeks prior to the arrest. I wanted to go to jail as a badass, but didn’t want to crash mid-term, so I devised a plan to smuggle gear into the big house.
Holy shit Ed, how did you do that? Listen closely kids and I’ll explain.
First, I knew that there really is only one way to smuggle gear into jail. I wasn’t too keen on the idea of rectal smugulation, but knew that was the only way. So I decided on Shorty’s as my gear of choice. (Thanks Goth) I figured that shorty vials would be less painful and be less apt to get stuck. So I popped the tops, tied them off in baloons and got to “packing” for the trip.(No Homo) I stopped eating 1 day prior and drank a shitload of Fleets phosphosoda to ensure that my insides were cleaned out prior to packing my bags (if you know what I mean.) I’m not going to lie, packing the bags sucked ass, but after each vial I made it a point to yell out “No HOMO!” just to make sure that it didn’t count. I was able to stash 2 shorties of Test E, and two of Tren E. Yes kids… I put two bottles of tren in my ass, no homo.
This was 30 minutes prior to the court time.
So, Court came, I plead guilty, and got 30 days, BFD. …Process me so I can get this shit out of my colon.
I get booked and for what seemed like 20 hours, I finally get placed into my cell and shit out my gear, which surprisingly went quite smoothly.
After some serious scrubbing, I sat in my cell with 4 bottles of gear. Holy shit.
So Ed, how the hell did you inject that shit? Well kids, that’s where the magic of the mind comes in.
Before court, I thought and thought about this until I came up with a solution. A standard BIC pen. WTF ED! A bic pen???
Yes kids a Bic Pen.
In this particular county jail, we were allowed to have standard Bic pens. At the commissary, I purchased 3 bic pens and a safety razor. Once back to my cell, removed the ink tube, blew (no homo) the ink into the toilet and hollowed it out. Then I used all available cleaning material to purify my vials, my ink tube and the main pen tube and two erasers from my cell mates pencils. I removed a thin razor from the safety razor and cut the end of the ink tube at a 65 degree angle. This would be my pin. Holy shit ed that’s like a 2 gauge! That’s right kids. No pain no gain.
I then took one eraser and jammed it in to the end of the main bic tube and then cut a tiny hole in the end of it and jammed the newly fashioned plastic bic pin into it. Then I took the other eraser and fashioned a plunger that fit securely inside the pen tube. This would be pushed down by the other half of the ink tube.
Before pinning, I cleaned everything with cleaning supplies, and then soaked everything, vials included in vinegar for 48 hours. Holy shit ed YOU ARE DOING IT!! Yes. I am kids. Yes I am.
Pin day came. I popped the top off my two of my shorty’s and filled the pen tube with half tren, half test, held on to the base of my homemade pin and jammed that bastard into my ass.
Did it pin Ed?
You bet your ass it did.
Did you have pip Ed?
You bet your ass I did.
Did you cycle the entire 30 days?
You bet your ass I did.
Did you run that place?
You bet your ass I did.
Please kids, do not try this at home.
Ell my love, no homo
Ed.

Disclaimer: Ed is not responsible for your asshole ripping open from jamming any sort of gear in your rectum. Furthermore, Ed is not responsible if your ass falls off from jamming a bic pen into it because you are a dumbass.

  1. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2 chapter 01: Mexicana Boogaloo
  2. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2 chapter 02: La Mesa
  3. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2 chapter 03: Mi Casa
  4. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2 chapter 04: Trial
  5. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2 chapter 05: Arraigo order
  6. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2 chapter 06: The cycle
  7. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2 chapter 07: El tercer piso
  8. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2 chapter 08: The hole game
  9. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2 chapter 09: The Sancho
  10. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2 chapter 10: Papa
  11. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2 chapter 11: The old man cometh
  12. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2 chapter 12: The Ritual
  13. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2 chapter 13: Achilles
  14. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2 chapter 14: Sympathy
  15. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2 chapter 15: La mano de dios
  16. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2 chapter 16: Brothers
  17. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2 chapter 17: Jesus Saves
Steeltoad777's picture

Seeing as there's already a post on this, and I'm sure a lot of guys have this question, I don't feel bad about bumping this... I'm also wondering the best possible road to take under these circumstances.

Thinking a good resolution would be to jab Nebido and also bring in as much oral testosterone as ya can. Pack out the prison wallet and... Possibly swallow a bunch in condoms? I'd love to hear from someone who's muled things in their stomach.

I'd rather swallow shit than try to make an IV out pens. Personally. Respect to the OP! Dedication to the craft 100% !!

Rydawg's picture

Dedicated to the gainzzz! My god I did a year and went in at 240 on Deca and test literally came out weighing 175. Jail was on lockdown for 6 months and never got transported to prison. Was worse time of my life.

Engineereddisaster's picture

Glad to hear you survived to talk about it.

Big Tone36's picture

Crazy story and a great read. Your a crazy fk! If you only doing a 30 day bid unfortunately you didn't need to go thru all this trouble. If you were running long acting compounds weeks prior at high enough doses your not going to drop off or lose muscle in 30 days. In facts there's been occasions I discontinued an a.a.s. cycle and looked and felt my best around the 21 days marks. 1 more week you'll still be fine.

If I had to do a 30 days bid a I was running test e and tren e, I'd probably add eq and primo in there too.
It would be something like this week's prior and day of court
1000mg test
600mg tren e
750 mg eq
700mg primo

I bet after 30 days your still got gear in your system

smoke1more's picture

Lmfao you are a boss Ed, necessity is the mother of invention. Fucking awesome !!!

Engineereddisaster's picture

Thanks bro.

Greg's picture

You'd think he was a creative writer... he's not.

It's all true.

Engineereddisaster's picture

Bro. You were the best Cell mate. No homo.
I’ve never met a man that could make Slim Jim Raman like you did.

smoke1more's picture

Yeah it is crazy for sure, big brass set for real.

BlakeYoppa's picture

I would have suitcased a 3ml syringe and 4 22g tips it would have fit lol. Or orals dbol, anavar, superdrol, proviron and aromison lol I suitcased 2scipts of xans and 2 scripts of adipex from Mexico

Engineereddisaster's picture

Glad you enjoyed.

LeaningForward's picture

@Engineereddisaster

Tips from a new guy here on your impending Chapter 18 incarceration-

1) Use condoms never balloons (they come sterile lubed up and tie off real nice)
2) NEVER do a full cleanse prior to any intended anal smuggling, just load up on a few Imodium which will stop you up nice for a day or two. (won't have the backing to get a push from. Visualize the plunger on one of your pins)
3) Always have a spotter (NO/Maybe a little HOMO but you don't want any issues getting it out)
And finally
4) Gear in the joint would be like eating a snack in one of your grade school classes. Make sure next time bring enough for everyone.

ED you are a god among men, I needed this. Thanks brother.

Engineereddisaster's picture

Thanks for playing and for the good tips for rectal smugulation. There are not enough tips out there for packing the prison wallet. No homo.

Engineereddisaster's picture

Hope that help. Lol

giardap's picture

Now, more than ever before, would be a great time for part 18 Ed

felony's picture

Yes. This is like waiting for a new GnR album.

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maximusuk's picture

With everything that's going on in the world that was a nice break from it even for just a short time had me in stitches lol

VIKING EVOLUTION's picture

You got me and 5 other guys reading this and seriously nearly spewing up our breakfasts we are laughing so phucking hard..................................

ED my brother from another you are a SUPERSTAR!!!!!!!

BRO FIST................................ BOOOOOOOOOM!

Engineereddisaster's picture

Thanks bro. Hope you are enjoying, Smile

Protein4breakfast's picture

I’ve seen so many creative things locked up....... state cakes that’d put Martha Stewart to shame, tattoo guns, hand sanitizer turned into liquor, actual homemade liquor you could smell a block away, engineered lighters from a battery but this is right up near the top of my list. Thanks for an interesting and entertaining read Ed!

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alekaras's picture

hey ed any news about chapter 15 ??

Engineereddisaster's picture

Yes. :). It is posted

giardap's picture

There is a movie in this story, for sure! Copyright this take Ed!

Pale's picture

I missed 13 the first time and added 14 but BFG needs to fix them so they look right

BFG's picture

everyone

Pale's picture

Awesome

heavymetalmonsterD's picture

Lol... this was awesome and hilarious.. thanks for this

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tattoofreak's picture

LMAO..... this is the funniest/craziest shit I've ever read

thomas33's picture

I been to prison and seen some crazy shit. But ive never heard of some one running a cycle inside.

Ozninjaguy's picture

30 days for killing hookers? Seems a little harsh.

professer X's picture

Thats some funny ass shit there !! But on a seriius note i was incarcerated with this crazy nut jub from philly that i wrked out with regularly. He also had a serious coke problem and some coke found its way into our pod and instead of snortin it he wants to mainline it!..so what does he do??? Fashions a hypo out of none other than the guts of a commissary issue flex pen......dissolved the coke( crack) in pickle juice cuz he said he needed vinegar to break the stuff down. Craziest shit i ever saw in there i think...

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Engineereddisaster's picture

He must be an eroider. That shit is a patented process.

vhman's picture

He’s Pickle Rick!

Pale's picture

Ha, Pickle Rick!

Bearded_muscle's picture

Fucking dying over here ED, this is some funny shit. Thanks for the laughs brother.

Engineereddisaster's picture

Thanks for playing. Smile

BFG's picture

fuck, I'll never be as cool as ed.

Engineereddisaster's picture

Shit bro. You’re as cool as the underside of a pillow.
One day maybe I’ll talk you into giving me lessons.

JARHEAD2's picture

Don’t be hard on yourself bro... no one will!!

Mountain-Man's picture

You are hardcore my brother

Engineereddisaster's picture

Thanks bro. I didn’t choose the hardcore life, the hardcore life chose me.

Nattyboomba's picture

Man, I put some time in myself, and this is one of the best gear/lockup stories I've ever heard. Given the rate of MRSA from shitty prison ink practices and such it's a true testament to your badassery and ingenuity that you pulled it off.

Engineereddisaster's picture

Thanks bro. Go big or go home.
One day I’ll have to write about the time I gave myself a vasectomy. That shit was hard core...

JARHEAD2's picture

I love you ED (NO HOMO)

Engineereddisaster's picture

No homo back atcha bro.