In La Mesa State Penitentiary, getting gear is about as easy as getting a 1996 Playboy. It just takes a little money and a corrupt guard looking to feed his family. In my case, this guard happened to be Armando.
Armando was a young guy, 22-23 years old and was actually on two payrolls, the Mexican justice system and the Cartel that starts with a Z. I know better than to any further than that.
At any rate. Armando got things for a select few, and after some inquiries, and talking to the right person, 500 dollars was exchanged and I purchased a large bottle of Tornel Testosterone 200 mg, an bottle of Brovel Norandren 50 aka Deca and a bottle of Bold Q.v. 200,
I didn’t worry about Ai’s or shot like that because seriously who gives a shit about deca dick and truth be told, a pair of large milky titties can get a man pretty far in a joint like La Mesa. No homo.
“Damn Ed! You don’t want big milky titties!”
I’m kidding! Come on kids, this is uncle Ed here. I don’t play the man tittie game. Dostinex is readily available in the Parkinson’s disease section of the pharmacy.
“Holy shit Ed you have a cycle!”
You bet your ass I have a cycle and I pinned that shit with effing 18 gauge pins. Why? Because it’s mexican prison and that’s the best you can get.
“Holy shit Ed you are running a cycle In the joint!”
You bet your ass I am.
“What about protein Ed? Rusty said you need protein on cycle.”
Rusty is right kids. You need to eat like a bear on cycle and Uncle Ed is no different.
For 100 dollars a month, I had a guy catch and cook 3 pigeons per day for me. This was on top of whatever I could get my hands on.
“Damn Ed, prison pigeon had to taste like shit?”
No kids, prison pigeon tastes like living with a chicken after taste and you take what you get.
“You are effing doing it Ed!”
You bet your ass I am. You bet your ass.
All my love, no homo
Ed
To be continued.

• How to run a cycle in the Joint

1. How to run a cycle in the joint, Volume 2 Mexicana Boogaloo
2. How to run a Cycle in the Joint Volume 2; Chapter 2: La Mesa
3. How to run a cycle in the joint: Volume 2: Chapter 3: Mi Casa
4. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2 chapter 4: Trial
5. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2: chapter 5: Arraigo order
6. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2: Chapter 6: The cycle
7. How to run a cycle in the joint volume 2: Chapter 7: El tercer piso
8. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2 chapter 8: The hole game
9. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2 chapter 9: The Sancho
10. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2 chapter 10: Papa
11. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2 chapter 11: The old man cometh
12. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2 chapter 12: The Ritual