Regrets
A couple of days ago, I was at the gas pump filling my truck up with $4/ gallon diesel (thanks Obama) and I noticed this skinny ass guy trying to push his piece of shit diahatsu chirade up the hill to the gas pump. It was evident that he had run out of gas, and even more evident that the hill was more than he could handle.
The guy couldn't have been 120 lbs soaking wet so I ran over, got behind his car and started to push. He didnt see me, and was surprised when his car started to take off without him pushing. He looked back startled and told me thanks.
We pushed the car to the pump and he again tells me thanks, and says:"hey man, I am completely broke. Is there any way that you could help me out with some gas?"
Instinctively, I tell him, no and that I only have a company credit card. It wasn't true, but I get hit up so much for money from junkies and shit heads working the system that its second nature to say no.
I walked back to my truck, finished filling it up and started to feel bad that I was such a cold bastard. I had become so hardened to shit that even though it was evident that the guy wasn't trying to screw me, I treated him like he was. It kind of hit me, and I was ashamed that I had become to cold and callous that I would brush that guy off when it would be easy for me to help him. So I dug through my pockets, pulled together a small wad of cash, walked over and handed it to the guy. It wasn't much, maybe 17 or 18 bucks, but the guy looked up and looked like he was going to cry. He thanked me and shook my hand.
I walked back to my truck, grabbed my receipt and drove off. After a couple of minutes of reflection, I again began to feel ashamed of myself. I could have done a hell of a lot better than 18 bucks and I knew it. My mind switched and said, "yeah, but that guy was probably broke because he was a meth head." I thought some more and again felt bad that I had become so hard in my thinking. I've thought about that situation on and off for the last couple of days and its a damn shame. It's a damn shame that there are so many shitheads out there working the system that they ruin it for the people that really need it. I'm sure that I'm not the only one hardened to beggars. I'm sure that most of you are like me when some dude hits you up. I don't know, maybe I'm the only asshole around here.
I guess the only reason i tell this story is because i think this type of phenominon is hitting eroids. WTF are you tAlkkng about Ed?
Well kids, it's like this: There are lurking in the shadows of Eroids, shitheads of every shape and form. Shitheads flaming, shitheads point whoring, shitheads begging for free gear, shithead sources, shit heads disrespecting the mods, shitheads lying about who they are, and just shit heads in general. Because of this shitheadedness, we see guys like Vike and Nitti, harden, get forced into a corner and throw hard lines everywhere. I don't blame them, they are nice and they get shit on. I think this is too bad. I know Vike and Nitti, and know how awesome they really are. They are the kind o guys that would give their left nut to help a brother out. Even if it was a bro that they don't know. That's just the kind of guys that they are. But yet, there are a few that continue to conspire, and continue to be dipshits forcing the two of them further and further back into the corner. I'm afraid that its going to get to the point that folks around here won't get the privelidge (pretty sure i spelled that wrong) of know how kick ass they can really be. Just because of a few douche bags.
I don't think that it has to be this way. I think people just need to think a little. Be good with the rules, chill, be good to each other, help each other, don't conspire stupid shit, don't try to play the system for a fool, and remember that we are all on the same team. We all have common goals and are pretty damn dedicated to the lifestyle. So lets build on that shit and bring back that positive vibe.
I know I can do better. I think we all can can't we?
Thanks for reading my rant. Sorry that it wasn't funny. 
All my love, no homo
Ed
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Nearly missed this one whoops!
Nice post ED .... let me tell you bro, and i can speak for nitti here also i am sure............ we are still the brother we have just had to evolve slightly to accommadate the influx of pure brain deads that have flooded these board as of late... thet think they know better, they think they can fuck with and abuse the systems we have set in place...... WE just have to remind them who the FKing boss is.... if that means being brutal at times then so be it!... theremay only be the six of us but be assured we will come down with the aggression levels of a hundred men when needed..... things will settle back down i can assure you once we have separated the wheat from the chaff.
sometimes some things need to be said .. Ed, and they aren't entertaining or funny
Absolutely
There's a difference between compassion and assholery. You my friend followed the pay it forward mentality and for that I commend you. It's karma man pure and simple because believe it or not that 1 act of kindness will pay for itself when you least expect it. Shit; i gotta take some letro.
Good post Ed, I have seen a slight trend too here on eroids. The turn over rate here is like a telemarketing job, people coming and going. Your very right we are on the same team and if every one will put aside their Richie Incognito ways, we would be a well oiled machine. Mods do an amazing job keeping out the snakes, but it takes good farmers to yield good crops. Love your post, ill try to do my part! Godspeed
Now let me get outta here I gotta make a quick 18 bucks from this meth head. ;p
Well, there are a few guys and ladies here who know me pretty well off-line as well as on. Even though everything you said is true, it won't change me bro! Yeah I was renamed after "Ivan the Terrible" because of recent events but as I made clear in a couple different posts, The ones who follow the rules and show respect will get respect back. The only people who have to worry about me and the right hook (fuck the ban hammer, my hook is more devastating) are the idiots who continuously break the rules and sit down to aim at me. Fire darts from afar. I'm not hard to get along with. So if you see it necessary to get sarcastic or condescending with me, you're going to be a very unhappy eroider! Respect is earned. That was my problem , I let everyone have the benefit of the doubt. Well that is ruined. Never again. But it won't change me or my persona. I am who I am and that won't be compromised. I can be the nicest guy you're ever going to talk to , or the most vicious. I won't just ban you and slap red all over your post. No I'll pick you apart and dissect your character defects and flaws then expose them to the community. All in a very douchy yet articulate manner. If I'm taking extreme action , that means you fucked up somehow. So all you guys and gals who don't act like assholes, you've got nothing to fear. The rest of you , *Zero tolerance! I've heard a lot "he changed since becoming a mod. Some ppl think that's a bad thing. "He changed. Neeh neeehh neh". What the fuck do you expect? Want me to operate as and act like a member? Of course I changed. Nature of the beast. It was necessary. Get over it. Ed, you're a good dude and funny as fuck. I always a liked you ,....but I'll fuckin ban your ass just as fast as swonky and monster666!
;-D carry on
Ban me bro and you can kiss my weekly naked photos goodbye.
I'll send that shit to Hllwd.
Yeah baby! Goin' all Nitti-wood all up in here!!
Your funny post are awesome, but frankly I enjoy your serious ones. It's just so opposite of what most would expect from you and it shows a completely different side. Great right up!
PS he probably bought meth with your money :(
Thanks bud. If it makes you feel any better, I stole that 17 bones off your dresser while you were at work.
Lmao.
Damn it .. That's where the lunch money went.. Lol
i tend to be the opposite in thinking and this is why i get burned so often. i agree with the way you think though. i truly try to see good in everyone even when my better nature and common sense tells me otherwise. i have lost so much being a giving kind hearted person, but i wouldnt change it no matter what, i have done for those that i wish i hadnt, but ive done for those that truly gave back and appreciated every bit of it. if i change myself based on those that have taken advantage than i would never had the ability to help those that truly needed it. so i have come to accept being a good, giving person comes with risk, and a risk im willing to accept, knowing that i will eventually help someone who appreciates it, and that makes me feel good about myself because of where i came from in my life. if hadnt been for a few people that believed in me and gave the help i needed i wouldnt be who i am today.
Great attitude brother.
FantasiathescammerGeeZ. Excellent post -
Thanks for reading.
flip diglerThank man , this was the first post I read since I joined Eroids , last night I came across it just looking for some ware there was people like me and by the sound of it you ! Great share man , and yes we have been hardened by all the assholes that prey on ripping the hardworking man off and have learned to trust know one , witch just sucks ! But I will do my part as a new member to get accepted and gain trust with the community and add to the site as an honest man! I still say keep your guard up and use your instinct like you did to know when to help a fellow compatriot out !
Goodbye SWONKY!
The dumbassedness is had to ignore isn't it? Lol. I don't think he realizes it.
Lol. He read this last Night and I wrote it this afternoon. Smh.
That adding to the site as an honest man was tougher than he anticipated. Lol
Thanks for this, a great read.
Thanks for reading brother.
Best post you have ever written! I really like the funny ones so that says a lot. I can 100% relate all of this to myself currently as well. I think any man who has become jaded and cynical do to the justified reason in this life and yet still overcomes and has compassion in any amount is truly a noble man.
I have learned because I my work to practice being good as much as I am not overcome by selfishness to others while they are alive because I refuse to go to a funnel and cry about my guilt and acting like I love someone now that they are dead. Which in my life experience so many times it seams like those who treated others the worse act later when tragedy befalls as if they cared the most.
Posts like these are the best for self examination and make me aware of of how much more I need to grow despite every urge to be cold.
I don't know bro. I think my "how to run a cycle in the joint" post was much better than this. :).
Well said on everything else.
I think it's better to error on the kinder side. I wish I did that more often.
Me too. Years ago when I first was on the teams, I was hostile and cold to a level that it is hard to even recognize now. I think somewhere somehow that is how I coped with being a sniper because it was a different mental aspect from firing at when fired upon. Here you are killing without the person attacking you directly first. So I remember after my first operation turning on this everyone is a piece of shit mentality. It of course bled over to every part of my life where I had nothing good to say about anyone or anything even if there was good things to say.
Of course I am grateful that I overcame that because it was tearing up everything in my life. I had to learn how to do my job without letting bitterness, being jaded and hatred taking over to justify it. Because those things do not respect parameters.
It's funny how we sometimes wake up, look in the mirror and realize that we have become an asshole through a slight shift in attitude and have to change course. I think it happens to all of us. It's making that shift in the sails that is critical. If we don't do that through a little self realization we destroy ourselves.
Heyyyy?! I used to be "good" too ya know... Then I didn't get that Stretch Armstong for my 8th birthday and my world was forver changed >: /
I was like 5 my uncle and his friends stretched mine around a tree til it broke. I remember well, never forgave him for that. I did smash his entire collection of glue together model cars tho in an epic demolition derby.
Great post Ed
This post really couldn't be applied to you brother. I knew about the Stretch Armstrong incident, and as local legend has it, you maxed out on being mean and nasty that day. There was no way for you to get any more jaded. So with you---you can only get nicer. The GD in the name says it all. You are now considered the nice mod. :).
Love you bro.
Ed
Good post man.... Due to those shit heads its harder to get real advice here. I've been following the posts about people who cycle for their many various reasons. It makes me wonder what direction I'm going in with my future cycles... There's the go slow approach and the bodybuilder approach. I'm down for eating huge and training hard, but I'm not sure how heavy I wanna go on the drugs and how fast to bump up.
flip diglerI more really better? How much can the body intake? And how much is waisted , I seen a video were pro bodybuilders ,faces and voices blured , told about all the gear they used , man it's an insane amount , but there was one , think it was Cutler said he used only the max amount the body would intake without waisting and it wasn't that much ! It's been a while and might be wrong but the body can only intake like 500mg of test a week for instance any thing more goes to waist . Just wanted to share , good luck
AnonYou sound like me bro. I've had the same exact conversation with myself in my head. Fuck it bro don't sweat it. Some days I wake up in the mood and some days I don't:) I've never been the kind of man who asks anyone for anything. I don't even like birthday gifts or Christmas gifts. If I can't get it myself I don't want it. Obviously it can be unhealthy to be so proud we don't ask for help but I'd rather be overly independent than be a person who relies on anyone other than myself.
As far as Nitti n Viking go I couldn't agree more. You can only take getting mud slung at you so long before you come out guns blazing and end up parading cut off heads around the town square. Not many guys know how much is expected out of the mods here. How many hours they truly log covering page after page in the place. If they don't produce BFG will not accept it. He's definitely a great boss but every great boss gets the most out of his employees and Big is no different. It can be so consuming that eventually it becomes so annoying to read all the stupid bullshit everyday. The personal attacks and the effort wasted on trolls. Time wasted on the frat boy shit in the SI pages. The Scammers and reverse scammers. The drama is endless it seems. Mod nut-hugging is a new term I've seen thrown around. If only they knew the work that's done to protect them from things that never get said in public. The dark secrets that they find out about Src's or con artist members. Conspiracies and scams run on Src's by members. If only the public knew how hard these fuckers work to keep this joint safe. Guys think its a joke when the mods say be careful what you tell people in pms cuz there's a LE demographic here. I know it seems like a scare tactic but it's not. It's true.
Can they be brash and condescending? Yes. Can they be unreasonable and close minded? Yes. Can they be assholes? Fuck yes! But they have to be. We've given them no choice. We've pushed them so far to the point of breaking that we've left them no choice but to do the things they need to do to get work done. If that means they swing the battle axes a lil fast then so be it. It's a lose lose situation to nut up on any of our mods. Show some respect and a lil smarts. Stay away from threads that have lots of Red font. Keep ur mouths off of topics that are ban able offenses. Show some manners to each other and always show integrity. Man if we all did that I got a feeling they'd change their handles back to normal. Right now it's obvious they've had enough. Let's help them out a lil bit and act like mature adults. This place is so much better when we got that vibe anyways.
Well said brother. When the vibe is positive this place is better than crack. :).
Weird, I just had hobo Dave at my door looking to buy an $18 rock and trying to sell me a banged up diahatsu with no gas..... Some people!
Lol. That makes me feel a lot better. That bastard.
I can just remember when I was young my grandparents would never turn away a hungry mouth from there table.. even if they didn't have much they shared what they did have. but these are deff different times we are living in guys,just last week my wife said a female approached her and said she needed money for food for her baby so my wife said no problem we will walk inside the store and you show me what type of formula you need and I will buy it. the LADY got so pissed yelled at my wife and hoped in her car speeding off??? I can see how we have become jaded and harsh to our fellow man.
I think that's why I felt so bad. The dude genuinely needed gas didn't ask for anything else.
Good Parable...
I feel like you but I'm worse because I used to be that guy wanting gas because I spent my last dime on meth.
Lol. I think most of us around here have a few of those skeletons in our closet.
lennie dBro where i live that shit happens to me all the time.. its almost to the point to when i go to the city i know abreast one person at a gas station or at a restraint will try to hit me up for cash... its sad as well but i do the same thing you did atleast a couple times a week accept i don't go back.. i just tell them no because you can tell these people are fucked up... i even offer to buy people food because they ask for money because they say they are hungry but they turn it down and ask if they can just have the money!!! WTF IS THIS PLACE COMING TO?
I don't know bro. That shit is a disease to society and its getting worse and worse. I think 50 years ago it was even close to like this.
Man puts shit in perspective good share bro
Thanks bud.