posted Sun, 05/20/2012 - 18:16
228606
+ 11 THE RECOVERY LOUNGE!....N/A, A/A, C/A, or any other Anonymous drug program!
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Welcome to the recovery lounge, this is safe place where eroid members can talk about recovery, steroids and recovery, or any other topic! There seems to be many of us here on eroids, there will surely be different fellowships in here and they are all welcome! Other eroid brothers are welcome to come and join the lounge if they would like, its open to the public!
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I've taken a few thousand milligrams in my time. What kind of issues are you having?
I have not touched H since November 26, 2012. I weighed 148 at the time. Lifting has given me a productive hobby and outlet, plus I have met some solid people. The lifestyle change literally changed my life. Wish you guys all the future success in your endeavors!
AA
Not currently in recovery, nor do i hace any real vices except whiskey lol BUT i think this is an awesome lounge or group. its good to see random strangers doing random acts of kindness to help others. (not a hippie) lol
and to everyone who is recovering, big thumbs up for what its worth. theres lots of people who a have a problem. know they have a problem and do nothing to change it.
take care fellas
@TNKbugz, in regards to whiskey, it can be a blessing or a curse, sometimes in the same night! But I agree with you, I hope this thread attracts the kinds of questions and support that help people who are truly struggling. Major thumbs up to the peeps who are fighters and are willing to fight what haunts them. Massive props to those peeps, for sure.
Nov 26 will be 3 years off of the H. Working out has been a great outlet. I sponsor some cool ass dudes, so if anyone needs to hit me up, feel free. Stay away from the pins for a bit though. That is an unwanted temptation right off the bat. God bless and keep it real bros.
@TheArchangel, dude, congrats. Three years without your vice is a long ass time. Make it three more, then three more after that. And thank you for helping others with their own struggles. Regardless of whatever demons you fight, your desire to help others fight their own demons speaks volumes of you. Don't give up, and keep kicking ass. You're not alone. None of us are. This forum is bad ass.
I've been in recovery for a while now, and I've had mixed feelings on gear being a relapse. When I go I to meetings, the last few days since I've been juicing, I cut myself off from others, I notice thoughts creep in like, "that's him not me" when someone with a similar problem shares. Also, I can't shake the feeling that I'm using the gear to cover up insecurities about myself. Also, I'm at odds with the idea that I may not be relying on my higher power, or rather that I'm replacing it with the gear... The only way I've come up with to rectify the situation, is for me to come to the conclusion that 'anabolics are okay' and that's ME making a decision about what chemicals are okay to put in my body, and as an addict that's dangerous thinking. Maybe it never goes beyond the gear, but even if it doesn't I have a lot of resentments and I worry the gear may affect my level of anger. I've always had a large measure of control over my temper, but the feelings come regardless. Anyway, these are some of my thoughts on the matter, I'd be really happy to hear some input if anyone is still checking this thread out.
I actually asked my sponsor if it was a relapse before doing it, he and my grand sponsor (12 and 22 years) looked into it and said no its not a relapse but we dont advise it.
One thing you need to know, if you do tell people some of them are gonna talk shit because they dont have a clue, just got this a drug is a drug concept.
For me I didnt give a shit what other people thought, I earned my seat and my sponsors cleared it, so everybody else with a problem can go talk to their sponsor and work on their acceptance issues.
I had a few people come to me and ask kindly about steroids and it being a drug, and my response was if you wanted to get high and used steroids, youd be highly disappointed!
But from your post i can tell that you got some disease issues going on, meaning your still trying to figure when its the disease and when its not. I had about 3 1/2 years clean when I picked up the juice again(after many years off), had worked all the steps, and been doing 5 to 10 meetings a week during that entire time. If your having problems with it just back off for now and work on you, if you got self esteem issues its not gonna feel good if people find out and distance themselves from you.
If you value your sobriety, stop using gear. You have unresolved resentments, you're on the fence about it being a relapse, and you clearly feel some guilt about juicing. I'm guessing you're hiding it from folks that you're normally honest with, another red flag. All of these things equal trouble.
This is all very true. I have a particular self acceptance issue as well, honestly I had hoped the gear would help solve it. I cycled a bit in my past, in addition to a heavy opiate addiction, and I'm worried my T levels are in the toilet even after a year. I was looking for a quick fix. I've given some thought to switching to an AI, or maybe natural test booster. Either way I'm setting an appointment with a doctor.
Looking for a chemical solution to a spiritual problem.... I understand this thinking. It's old behavior.
I'm not against addicts and alcoholics using gear. Of course I do it. But it's imperative to have your house in order first.
I've got a bit on my plate at the moment, it's about 6 months since I got out of treatment and I miss those early days pretty bad right about now. A lot happened while I was away in treatment, and I've been dealing with the wreckage of my past ever since, while doing my best to not turn it into a 10 car pileup. Lol.
I've got a lot of numbers to call, but haven't found anyone with any bodybuilding experience.
Shoot me a friend request. You can pm me anytime.
Question: has anyone started HRT doses of test just before detoxification to help with the withdrawal? I hear they use test and B12 injections in more expensive upscale rehabilitation facilities
it will help to a certain extent with the tiredness and just overall feeling but when you do detox your body is put into such shock that it will actually heighten your senses and make detox worse. fever,aches,chills are all intensified. its best to start after the detox process. B12 does help especially with energy and appetite also. if you have any questions holler at me and maybe i can help you out. give you some 1st person insight or perspective! Good Luck Brother!
AnonYea I've heard of it... Drug abuse can contribute to low testosterone levels among other things
11 years clean of heroin and cocain.... i wish you guys the strength and the power to stay straight.
Nice!
Amazed to see a recovery board up here. I think this is awesome.
I'm heavy in the center of AA and sober for 2.5 yrs now.
They say when you get spiritually grounded your body and mind will follow.
I completely agree but I'm gonna give my body an extra push.
Love the fellowship and motivation on here.
Congratulations on the 2.5yrs sober brother im really happy for you and extremely proud of you. I know its been some hard work and lots of blood and tears. Keep that positive attitude it will carry you along way brother. Ive got right at 5yrs now in NA with help from suboxone and lots of love from my brothers and sisters in the rooms. Its been tuff at times and some days I still get massive cravings and I have to fall to my knees and pray but im making it and so can you. Stay in the rooms and never be afraid to ask for help it might just save your life. Im always around if you ever need someone to talk to just hit me up brother.
Fr sent hit me up
Thanks bro. Keep up the good work as well.
2.5 years!
That is amazing and inspiring brother. Im just shorto
short of a year. Keep pushing bud.
One foot in front of the other and everything will be good. Thanks man. Appreciate it.
Keep strong my friend you can do it.
Cool to see this here. Very cool.
I'm in NA, on step 5 currently, 20 months clean. Played the opiate game for a long time, everything else too really but those opiates did me in.
Glad I finally got clean. I sponsor guys now, having a baby boy next month, got a career type job last year with bennies the whole 9. Very grateful to be free.
I've been feeling a tad guilty for juicing, but my wife knows and she's cool with it, but my sponsor doesn't and I definitely won't be telling him. Anyone else feel guilty about being clean and roidin? I mean I do but I don't ya know? Compared to how it was this is nothin.
Friend I fought opiates for 12yrs and the nearly won but by the grace of God and NA and a little help from subs ive got almost 5yrs. Keep working them steps dont get down and give up. I fought with the steps for a year and a half but I found an awesome sponsor and he help me get through them. I had a hell of a time forgiven my self and finding forgiveness for others in my life. Once I was able to find forgiveness and give it I was able to make a brake through and it was a turning point in my life. Finnish the steps man for sure it will change your life I promise. Congratulations on becoming a Dad. That little fellow will will change the way you look at yourself and the world just remember he will look up to you he needs his father and he needs him sober and healthy. Teach him well and congrats on the new career see how great things come when you get clean. Your on the right path brother im proud of you please please stay on the path you running. Stay in the rooms brother and keep at it. Always remember to ask for help when you need it and even when you think you dont. Im happt for you I really am man. Im around anytime for if you ever need to talk just hit me up man ill be glade to talk for a bit. Love ya brother.
Fr sent...
I couldn't appreciate your words more. Thank you. I know my HP is active in my life just by the love I feel from my brothers in recovery.
Awesome
I'm 7 years sober, very active in my home group and all that goes with that. I do the deal.
I though long and hard before I started using gear, even though I had low T. If anyone tells you juice isn't mind and mood altering, they're lying or just ignorant. It's a big deal for people in recovery. I wont even fuck with NyQuil, no pain meds stronger than ibuprophen. I take my recovery deadly serious.
I never would have run gear at 20 months sober, but that's just me. No way is that a comment on your choice. To each his own. As far as guilt, I have none about juicing. Anyway, that's my 2 cents.
At what point in your recovery did you start?
They told me to wait a year before I made major decisions. I wanted to juice again the whole time. I was so skinny due to my use. I juiced in college for basketball in 03-06 and looked and felt great.
I love being big again. Being physically active. I really appreciate your reply and sharing your experience.
Started TRT around 5 years sober.
But again, I'm not saying my way is the right way. It's just the right way for me. My wife is in recovery too. We had some long talks about it before I made my decision. I have no regrets.
I can relate
AnonEvery nye,nyd and pretty much the rest of the year that followed ive been fukd off my brains on drink and drugs since I can remember..not the last that just passed..all the best and keep them demons at bay folks..fkn hard work and every cunt slips up..dust yourself off and keep pluggin away cobz!
All the best in the new year!
Peace:)
This is for anyone who might be on suboxone. Ive been on them now for 4.5yrs. Before finding subs my life was a mess a complete mess. I struggled for years to beat my addiction to pain pills. I lost job after job. I lost a loveing wife my teenage sweet heart and my family. The most important thing I lost was myself. I fought so hard to break the grip thay pills had over my life with no luck. Finally I found suboxone. This has been the best help I have ever found. What I lost and destroyed in 15yrs of pills ive gained back in the short 4 years of being on subs. Suboxone was a god send and a life saver. Now I find it time to come off of them and live a happy and productive life free of any help from suboxone. At times I feel scared to get off of them for fear of returning to pain pills and that dark life I left behind. I dont want to stay on suboxone for evere but at the same time im scared to get off. My dr told me he has patients that stay on a maintenance dose of 2mg a day for life. Im up in the air on this. Since getting clean I got anice career in corrections I've gained full custody of my youngest son I got engaged to a beautiful 22yr old bomb shell that adores me and im building a wonderful life for myself now. Without suboxone none of this would have been possible. So getting off subs completely does scare me. So for the guys on suboxone what is your take on staying on a low maintenance dose for life. I apriceate all you guys and your feed back. Much love to all my recovering brothers and mad respect because this can be a long hard row to hoe just keep your heads up it does get better.
Risk vs Benefits my brother! You obviously know the risk, however what are the benefits? Are the subs giving you any sides(other than low t)?
McNASTYI've bin on suboxone for two years. I started them because I had gotten a injury during my grappling training. An the doctor put me on oxcodone 5mg an gave me 90 with one refill. An let me tell ya. I felt like I was king of the world continued training injured even had a fight in the ring whyll on these fuckers . Before I knew it. I was in pain management getting oxy 30's an eating them bitches like candy. I had to stop an my GF found a suboxone clinic an ice bin on them ever since . Only thing now is . I go threw 120 8mg strips amonth. "I'm on 21mg ED" but my buddy gives me 30-40 on top of the one I get from my doc. I am slowly going down . But, it's not easy. Honesly I wish I never went on them.
Im in the middle of finishing outpatient rehab, ive not used any pills in years, they are trying to offer me suboxone too but i refuse to switch up agin, the methadone they got us on now is bad enough, ive detoxed myself down, at 30mg now, dropping 5mg a week and will be outta there in a few months, lifting helps
Brother suboxone is a life saver and a life taker at the same time. Ive been on them for 5yrs. They saves my life but at the same time I traded one addiction for another. I started out at 3 a day 24mgs now i take 4mgs a day. I feel so much better now that I dropped the dosage. It wasnt to hard to get down to 4mgs a day you just have to do it slowly. Sometimes I even take a half of one every other day just depenss on how im feeling and how life is going. I hope you can cut back way back on your dosage. Withdrawal from suboxone is way worse than opiates. Try and wean yourself down as soon as you can but dont rush or force yourself but you can do it I promise you you can. Youll be alot happier and healthy. Hit me up some rime via pm and we can talk about it or anything else you may need to talk about im always here for my brothers in recovery much respect and much love brother. Keep it up im proud of you.
Fr sent hit me up for sure id like to talk with ya.
Man you guys are awesome thank you so much for all the advise and encouragement it means alot to have people trying to help a stranger realy thank yall. Went to my dr today and talked to him about cutting back and winging off of them. He said we would do a slow taper and once he got me 2mgs a day he'd keep me there for a bit till I felt comfortable comeing off completely. He said therw was no need to rush. I wish I was able to judt go cold turkey and go to a detox for a week or two but with having custody of my doy and two job its a no go. In going to have to fucking man up and do this shit. I got I know I can do it its just going to take a lottle time and some praying. Yall fellows pray for me if ya dont mind.
Boy do I understand that, man!
It's cool that you're being honest about it; you're lost otherwise. Good job!
As a guy who came in 31 years ago, and only has two years now, I can share one thing with anyone interested: that seat is mine for life, clean and sober, or not. Nobody's ever gonna tell me I can't keep coming back. If they were to ever have tried, it would've been a bloody mess! After having 11 years at one time and speaking at convention level, and sponsoring half the room, it was excruciating to raise my hand again as a newcomer. But the alternative was death.
I have two torn rotator cuffs that the orthopedist thinks are from lifting. I think maybe he's right, from lifting up my fucking hand as a newcomber so many times!
Ace VenturaYou'll do well, Shaun. You seem like you have a good heart.
Hell yeah. You're on the right way, brother. Stay straight, you'll make it.
ITs hard to say what you should do bro, Cuz your going to go into detox when you do. It's just like opiate withdrawals. But my advice is to get off them. Personally I work the NA program, an Ive tried maintaining my addiction every way possible and nothing compares to knowing that any given day, Gods got this. Your reliance on a DRT makes the DRT your higher power. Without it, your going to go into withdrawals, no matter how low a dose you get to. I would definitely look at maybe taking some pto and spending the weekend in a detox.
Don't stay at your dosage for your life. Try to finish completely and see how good it is, to life a normal life without that shit. You are right, if you're scared. Because it's a really hard way... But you can do it! If you really want to finish, you will handle it. Wish you the power and strength to do it. Stay straight bro.
Thanks brother.
Ive been slowly cutting myself back. I started at 3 a day 24mgs and now im down to 4mgs a day. Sometimes I mighr hop back up to 8mgs a day but for the most part I stay a 4. You know ive lived so long dependent on something im not sure I would even know how to live completely clean id have to learn life all over again. The thought is scary. Im so tired of it all though I could scream. I want to be normal and clear minded like a normal person but theses days whats normal. Getting up in age now and its just time for a better life. Thanks guys for the feed back it means alot its nice to be able to talk about this with like minded friends.
I'd try to get off them if I was you, a very slow taper should work well. It's just a matter of a tiny drop at a time then letting the body adjust for a couple of weeks, then dropping a tiny bit again, let yourself adjust then repeat.
If I remember correctly there minimum dose is 0.4mg so making slight adjustments should be better than having to cut up tabs.
In my opinion i would get off. Get a good taper method. I stopped subutex cold turkey and wothdraweled for two months. It will suck to come off but trust me. Its alpt better to be off of everything
Happy to see this thread!
21 months C&S here!
marijuana? ?? you in here for some marijuana? marijuana isnt a drug. ..i used to suck dick for coke. ..you ever suck dick for some marijuana?
ahhhhh classic movie line
but in all seriousness xanax ruined me for 2 years along with tony montana pain killers and trees......havent done any of them im over 2 years
Wow. I would of never thought a forum like this existed on eroids. Didnt realize there were this many of us. Opiates destroyed my life. After two years of not putting a substance in my body, im finally getting my life back on track. The gym is a huge part to my life again. Lets me relase all the agression and stress.