posted Sun, 05/20/2012 - 18:16
229385
+ 11 THE RECOVERY LOUNGE!....N/A, A/A, C/A, or any other Anonymous drug program!
ad
Welcome to the recovery lounge, this is safe place where eroid members can talk about recovery, steroids and recovery, or any other topic! There seems to be many of us here on eroids, there will surely be different fellowships in here and they are all welcome! Other eroid brothers are welcome to come and join the lounge if they would like, its open to the public!
- Bookmark
- 11
- 0
Anonraise your hand in a meeting and share how you feel. I guarantee they will tell you to keep coming back. On suboxone or high,keep coming back. You think we are in meetings cuz we can stay clean....no we go to meetings cuz we cant stop using. "We are not interested in what or how much you used or who your connections were, what you have done in the past, how much or how little you have, but only in what you want to do about your problem and how we can help"
X2 bro! Thats what meetings are for!
Anon;)
I was in a men's meeting last night and this jacked older guy walks in with a Mohawk. And then I literally thought to myself...... Is that noid?? Lol
AnonLmao
may 10 will be my 8 years off meth. Pretty sure i would be dead or at the very least toothless if i would not have cleaned it up when i did. cheers!
Congrats brother that's a great accomplishment. Keep on keepin on.
So i thought this is the place to talk about this. Like most of you in this room I am a recovering addict with a little over two years clean. So i Just finished my first cycle and loved the results. I was able to lower my bodyfat and gain tons of strength with just a Test E cycle for 12 weeks. I just bought a big order for my next two cycles with pct included so you can imagine its a pretty big order. My issue is I am not even done with my PCT yet and I am tempted as hell to jump back on. I know the protocol is time on plus pct should be your down time till your next cycle but the truth is I am getting a high just thinking of jumping back on another cycle. Just looking at all the vials is like I am looking at my dope stash. I know the reason to take time off is crucial to my health but my addict mentality is popping up. Thought I would share my thoughts and temptations here.
Thanks guys
Addicted to MORE!
Obsession and compulsion are things I struggle with in every aspect of my life.
Masterbation, sex, money, FOOD(big one for me) etc
What had helped for me are the basics. What worked in the begining Attending meetings SERVICE, steps sponsorship
I know you may not want to share about aas in meetings but share about compulsion with things that are detrimental to health when done to excess, consult your sponsor and other addicts with what worked for them
Good luck bro , stop back in and check in let us know how your doing
So I am close to finishing my PCT which went awesome, lost practically no strength and besides acne (which was bad) there was no sides. So my post was that I am finding hard to wait the 12 weeks in between cycles because I am an ADDICT. Im doing my best to not cave in but my addict tendencies are still running wild. I am ordering 6 kits of HGH and Im getting the high of scoring dope. My cycle only gave me positive benefits and only made my life more enjoyable and manageable but I cant resist the same feeling of scoring dope when I'm ordering gear or looking it up.
Never was into suboxone/pills but I was most definitely a cocaine cowboy...yee haw......it was pretty intense for a while (about 3 years) never lost my job or nothin bills paid but all my extra money was literally bein "blown" away. Never touched the stuff during the work week but as soon as friday rolled through it was on. I did copious amounts of the stuff. I mean people would freak out at much I was doing.I would stay up friday to sunday evening then crash out go to work monday. Man was that rough. I remember when it got to the point when I would hook up on friday and pretty much lock up in the house all weekend is when I had enough. Ill never forget how I ditched this habit, I remember lookin in the mirror Saturday am after being up all night and thinkin.....this is fuckin stupid!.so I tossed a quarter in the shitter and flushed. Man did that suck. Talk about feel stupid when I wanted to hit another one what im gettin at is cold turkey worked best for me . The battle of becoming the victor of bullshit is what helped me. The monkey is always on my back too. Just like anyone else but its been 5 years
Mr.pumpI went 4 days an I couldn't do it! I had to go grab a new script. But I'm going to try a taper off this time. That fourth day sucked! I couldn't even work. I'm a union pipe fitter . An I just can't take off work. Lol but, on a good note I am only on 8mg strip . An I'll go down in MG's every week. Thanks for your story brother !!
Hitman187comming off subs suck. even if you get down to an 1/8. its a good 2 week process, theres other meds (prescription/otc) that can ease the process a bit. but you got the rite idea wien yourself off slow. drop an 1/8 every week or two. they have such a long half life if you wien down too fast your gonna feel it, and good luck
Pipe fitter aye?.... tig hand right here
Mr.pumpOnly the best brother! We all go threw shit! Some more than others . An Ill clarify pipe fitter .im a sprinkler fitter.
Mr.pumpI'm having the worst fucking time trying to come off suboxone . Two years ago I ran a cycle an ended up fucking my shoulder up. Instead of stoping I started popping pain killers. Did that for about six months . I'm two years off them but still on suboxone ! An just can't seem to get the fuck off them!! Anyone else have a hard time getting off this shit? Sorry if I jumped around a lot just getting pissed
I'm on box now... went from 16mg to 2mg now... ruff coming down from that. But we both can do it brother. I know we can. Been an addict for years, not gonna be overnight getting clean.
AnonWe go through the pain of withdrawal or we use again. Its the unfortunate truth brotha I was on 28mg a day for over two years now I also was shooting dope when I could but I tried tapering and it just prolonged the suffering wen I finally stopped I was tapered to 8mg and was sent to a rehab that didn't allow sub's so I had to stop cold turkey from there I had withdrawals for well over a month but the only way through it was through it brotha
Mr.pumpCold turkey!! Damn!! That had to suck!! I was thinking about locking myself in a room for a week just to stop. But I already took vacation from work an .. I don't know it's frustrating !!
AnonYea it sucked for sure I was fortunate to be locked away in a place that was there to help I didn't really want to be there but life's circumstances had me there and now I'm grateful for it
One of my friends, that I still bump into occasionally, has been having the toughest time coming off of them. She has tried numerous times to quit, but she fails. She down doses herself to 1 to 2 mg per day, and still has bad symptom from quitting. I guess she still feels like shit weeks after her last use. She has been on them for almost 8 years now and used to take 16mg daily. The last time I spoke to her, she said she came to terms that she might have to be on a really low dose, for the rest of her life. I know when I got off of them a couple years ago, I down dosed myself to 1mg EOD, before I quit, and I still felt like shit when I came off. It took a good month for me to not feel ill, and I still wasn't right with the mental post withdrawal symptoms. I had anxiety like a mutha fucka. I ended up relapsing about 8 months after I was off the subs, so I am back on them now.
Mr.pumpI hope not!! I can go about a week without any symptoms. It's more of a psychological thing with me. I just need to say fuck it an just do it. It's bin about two years for me being on it . An all because of a binder on pain killers! Wtf! I should of known better. But thanks for your input! An stay focused bro there's a swarm of chicks everywhere that are REAL !!
You can get off of them, but you will probably have to go through a month long process of not being right, while your body and mind is adjusting. Just remember, that it will get better and you have to pay back that time for feeling well.
Mr.pumpIsn't that the truth! Nothing comes free ! When my dr told me he could prescribe me a pill that could get me off the oxy's I was on an not feel any withdraws . I was like sure !! I'm down! But on the same note I new there was a catch. Lmao! The sad part is I don't drink never used anything but weed a couple times in collage . But them damn pain killers were love at first feeling !! Man!
With opiates you have to pay the piper, because its the Cadillac of all highs, well at least for me it is. That's why I lose control of my usage.
Mr.pumpYes, I agree with u. Do u take the film or the pills?
I get the generic tabs from the government, they pay for my health care. I don't think civilian pharmacies can get the generic tabs, just the name brand tabs and film strips, which are a lot of $$$.
Mr.pumpI'm on the film. My insurance covers it all I don't pay shit for it. But , it's still a pain in the ass to be depended on them . An for some reason they seem to put me in a good mood . Lol
Yup, I feel awesome about a half an hour after that tab dissolves. Not really high as shit, but more relaxed, motivated, and content. It is a bitch coming off of them.
Mr.pumpI heard it wasn't pleasant . But , I'm gonna try at least but I'll turn my dose down like u did till 1mg a day. I'm at 14mg now an I get a new script every month on the dot. I'll keep ya posted on how it's going . FR sent.
Accepted, since you are working out regularly now, it shouldn't be to bad, because your body can better heal from the trauma. I notice my post withdrawal symptoms go away faster when I go to the gym after I get clean, it helps. When you down dose yourself just lower your dose 1 to 2mg every 3 to 5 days, then in a few weeks you will be down to were you need to be to get off.
Well, I officially broke it off with my ex, and when I tried to leaver her whore cheating asses place, she called the cops on me. She knew if I left with my shit, she would probably never see me again. She told them, I took her shit, but I only left with the property that was mine. I was pissed during the argument and told her I was going to pawn the ring that I bought her for a big ass rock and smoke it in 3 rips. Maybe I shouldn't have said that, but the cops did release me with my property and ring, which is registered to me at the jewelry store. I was really temped to use yesterday, after all she really let me down when she was telling me the things I wanted to hear and sneaking around behind my back, but I know I cant give in like that. I would only be giving her to much credit. I used every other time like this, and it only went down hill, so maybe I will try something new and not use for once. On a plus side, I did meet a couple other girls that I have been talking to, they are free game now.
AnonWell I just had some fun on Facebook. A friend posted "are taking steroids a relapse" the nonsense that followed was just ridiculous. How can someone say the practice principles when they say there way is the only way and that although they've never taken steroids they "know its a relapse there is no gray area" fuckin people man. I did a lot of grimey ass shit to get my fix robbed my mother, broke into strangers homes, stole credit cards, you name it. I get into recovery find a few way to live find out the disease affects us mind body and spirit. Worked on my mind and spirit and body. Now because I've hit a platue and use steroids to get past it I'm "high" I didn't use steroids to change the way I felt I didn't use them to get outside of myself... Ahhhh thanks for letting me share.
Give them a vote if you find it helpful.PermalinkI understand your frustration bro. I put myself in rehab for alcohol and got clean. Been clean now for close to 3 years. I was fortunate that I took myself to rehab before anything terrible happened to me or anyone else since I drove like a drunken fool. I do use gear and some people give me the same shit. But I'm on your side as I don't use steroids to get a fix but simply to improve myself in the gym. I'm not out drinking and doing stupid shit anymore and much better off now as a "gear head" than an alcoholic lol. Stay strong bro and don't sweat the bs. There will always be people to rain on your parade and hate.
shred, I have a best friend of over 40 yrs I stopped talking to because he thought his casual (3x a week) cocaine use was not using abusing drugs but that my taking anabolics was f*cked up. We are both 55. Whose body would you rather have in 5 yrs? I also have stopped talking to my last relative thjat I love because that person thinks that any kind of use of benzos even if under a doctors care is the same as being an addict just because I had been on valium for years. I am all for a complete drug free life. Period. I am also for getting rid of all the immigrants who compromise this countries safety as well. Doesnt mean the world is going to listen to me! I would rather live drug free, even testosterone free. But if I have a choice of being depressed and not wanting to get out of bed, or doing 10mg of valium or 2cc of testosterone, I am definitely going with the drugs. I hate when people make judgements when they cant feel whats going on inside YOUR body. We arent talking about either doing nothing or taking what Cutler takes for a contest. But if its a fine grey line....often nobody should judge. As Steve Michalik Mr Universe 1974 told me 33 yrs ago. Yuh gotta choose..".you want to be the guy in the audience clapping, or the guy on the stage receiving all the clapping. Its just a personal choice."
AnonThis is awesome glad a came across this forum. Friend of jimmy k here 4.5 yrs clean
congrats on the time clean! may 6 2006 was my sober from street drugs date. my life has improved immeasurably since that day. keep up the good work!
FantasiathescammerUpdate: Full week off any opiate. Training and diet back in check. Sleep is slowly returning to normal.
It's amazing how getting stoned every few days you can convince yourself that it's not impacting your life too badly. I was truly living in a fantasy world for the past few months.
Today's friday- I have funds and a few reasons to get stoned. Im even telling myself I have sat/sunday to sleep it off. But I wont. I know the true picture is me burning money I cant afford to spend, dropping all my social plans, burning my brain function that will last for weeks after use, waking up monday malnourished depressed and sleepy.
wanna get fucked up go rage on some weights instead. thats what i did my first couple years clean i literally had no friends no life and was profoundly lonely.. i turned to weights and diet as a distraction at first and it slowly became a way of life. now i have good freinds a wife and job and havnt seen the inside of cell for a good amount of time now! good luck stay strong and do the hard thing the right thing, stay off of the drugs or they will destroy you and everything you love
Fuck yeah bro!!! U just told my story to the T!!! No differences whatsoever.
right on bro! its always good to know others have suffered and prevailed in a similar way. good to know that no matter how shitty things are people have been there before and that change is possible! cheers to the new drug of choice. iron and a barbell! adapt and overcome:)
Right on brutha! Thts What we used to say in the marine corps "adapt n overcome"
good phrase! relevant in life at many different times in my humble experience.
Dont do it bro! Get to some meetings and surround urself with some healthy ppl. You'll thank yourself come Monday Trust me!!!
Damn hope everyone is too busy with service to be in here
Stay safe my friends
FantasiathescammerIve been dreading posting this but I should get this out and written so I can refer to it when I feel weak. Years ago I had a pretty heavy oxy pill issue. I had a lot of money and access to the drug that allowed me to do an equal amount of damage to myself and others.
Fast forward to today. I had years of sobriety from the pills and alcohol. I began to take roxi 30s every once in awhile to celebrate getting my life back together. Once every couple weeks didnt seem to negatively affect me at all. About a month ago I got an abcess and was hospitalized. I basically used the hospital stay to ride the morphine pump, complain about my pain, and follow up the stay by visiting every doctor available for multiple rx's. Ive outstayed my welcome at a few offices, urgent cares, and the local emergency room.
Well it's spring break now... No doctors left to write my rx's and no money to go buy them illegally. It's time to get my act together and get a hold of my work, school, training, family , and social life. All of which took a dramatic hit while I indulged in this garbage.
I think the legit medical issue left me feeling even more entitled to feel good all the time and never come off. My mind is pretty low tonight- but it's detox related and it's my own fault. Ill feel better when I actually put the work in to feel better.
One is to many and a thousand is never enough...
Welcome brother keep us in touch with what's going on...keep checking in here
FantasiathescammerUgh.. Feeling like garbage now. My use was pretty much binging and cleansing. So I would get an rx and use it all day and then go with out for 3-4 days. I last used a few 30s 2 days ago. Before that I was detoxed. So im thinking the ride shouldnt be that bad. Im thinking it's more in my head and compounded by being broke and bored.
On a positive note I am on cycle, hgh, have spring break off to detox before classes, live alone so I can do this in privacy, and I still have time to put on some solid weight before shorts/tshirt weather here.
Narcotics Anonymous taught me the disease of addiction, it is only through understanding how it works am I able to obtain and keep clean time. The disease will talk to you in many ways, one being a roxy every other week is fine, another being to not ask for non narcotic at the hospital. This disease will kill you, it preys on you not understanding it, it hopes you try to do this alone, itll find your weakest moments whether that is a celebration or depression, its relentless, it loves your using buddies and any reason you might need to see them, your head is the enemy dont believe it. get to some meetings and talk about whats going on, find people with long term recovery and LEARN about what you have.
Well said Noid! I go and get a check up from the neck up a couple times a week. Keeps me out of my own head and keeps me calm.