posted Sun, 05/20/2012 - 18:16
228996
+ 11 THE RECOVERY LOUNGE!....N/A, A/A, C/A, or any other Anonymous drug program!
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Welcome to the recovery lounge, this is safe place where eroid members can talk about recovery, steroids and recovery, or any other topic! There seems to be many of us here on eroids, there will surely be different fellowships in here and they are all welcome! Other eroid brothers are welcome to come and join the lounge if they would like, its open to the public!
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elbowOut the rehab n big house back in real world living n have been for 2 weeks Tuesday fucking good to be out the trenches n living healthy putting on some solid muscle at present got 4 gyms with in 10 mins walk a front door ..yes I am a male slag so whent for the one with the sauna n spa better then looking at hairy ass blokes when you training and the rest periods go faster when chatting to a cutey lol just to say to all the types is worth it shit like happens that you would expect when your heads on game n thinking right ....
Whats up fellas? Been making a meeting everyday still cant stop but tomorrow I will try to go cold. I had 9 yrs clean lost everything and havnt held it together over the last 3 yrs. I just got a job at a gym and have a chance to build or destroy. So tired of losing everything over and over comming on here posting im back to disappear for months. I want this. I need help.
It's a viscous cycle bro. If meetings are helping keep it up. Have you tried rehab? some very nice ones out there that give you some peace being stress free for 30/60/90 days. I know that helped me tremendously. Also, there are alternatives to AA & the Big Book. Smart Recovery is one that resonated with me. I'm not much for AA because I'm atheist & have trouble getting past the "higher power" concept. I'm recently 6 months clean after 2 yrs of a bad relapse, before that I had 6 yrs under belt. The one thing that helps me most is concentrating on my diet & workouts. Making small goals to meet daily & weekly. Stay with it man. Everything is so much better when we aren't out there sabotaging our selves. PM for rehabs I looked into. Just FYI for everyone on here: I am not discrediting AA. It just wasnt for me. If it works for you then that is all that matters & stick with it. Good luck!
Rosser01Get a great sponsor , one that will be there for you whenever the need may arise, if you need to go through 50 it's ok weed them out until you find the right one, go to two meetings a day if you have to or whenever you feel any kind of urge to go out and chase whatever it may be..!! Head first don't look back, if you do you will fall..!! It's a way of life, you would like your deff sick and tired of that way, Get involved, make the coffee, take out the garbage, set up the seats and take them down.!.! Get involved.!.! Good Luck Bro
elbowGood luck mofo head up n pull your socks ip
Keep at it man. Make two meetings a day. Call your sponsor. Call a friend. Go for a walk. Whatever you gotta do. Just dont use today.
Nice, I'm glad I came across this forum. Can't believe I never noticed it. Coming up on 4 years clean new years day. Work the n/a program. Saved my fucking life, was the ultimate gutter junkie heroine addict used for 15+ years finally went to my 3rd treatment center and surrendered and have have been clean since. Look forward to bring part of this forum. My wife and I are both in recovery she's actually a. LCDC 2 on way to masters working at a solid treatment center where we live. anyways i love the program and recovery and thin i can contribute some experience strength and hope.
glad you found this congrats and keep up the good work
I am 25 been clean from everything for almost 8 years now. i don't make meetings as much anymore but i built a great base the first 4 years. I have been training in the gym consistency for the last 3 years. I finally started tracking macros last year so my diet is on point. I just finished a 4 month cut. Got down to like 9% body fat. I started bulking about a month ago. Everyone i look up to in this lifestyle is taking AAS. I know i want to do a small cycle. I have made a goal to stay natty until i am 30. If i haven't reached my goals i will then try a small cycle. Maybe 250mg of test and d bol and something to conteract estrogen. i am worried if this will restart my clean time. Anyone have a solid answer for me. the friends in recovery i have told me it would be a relapse. but thats 2 people and have no desire to get high in any way. i love this new lifestyle and i want to progress with it. please help!!
Rick GrimesThis is just my thoughts on aas.i consider steroids using because ur putting a substance in ur body for an effect. Its that simple. Clean is clean. Im no aa/na guru but thats how ive always seen it. Its like asking if i put the heroin down i cant just drink? Or what if im an opiate addict and i get injured and my doc writes me perks? If i take them as perscribed is it a relapse?
What does your sponsor think?
I had a falling out with him a while back over another issue we didn't see eye to eye on. i have just been in contact with the people I've built relationships. again i will state i do not make meetings nearly as much.
Not really sure why you're concerned about something that's 5 years away.
Just seeing what other people like us have experienced
That we all like instant gratification and hard work always seems harder than it us but 10 times more rewarding when we make it there? my experience anyways
elbowThank fook its a a na /ca that says roids are ok got some serious shit at local meeting when I started out again n gains came a bit faster than norm n people noticed but hay ho my choice ,,,,,been on and off street tat whole life from 12\13 full spectrum heroin from 13till18 party script from then till old uncle Colombia got in the Brea basket fuck sake I was shooting sust m snorting a hehe gene then training flat the fuck out did get what I wanted at time but occupational hazard it got out a hand to some scary levels mixed with vodka it got fucking ugly so droped the juice and training till I was on game n right head space again took some time lol then the k seemed like a good idea to cut back the Chang thing wrong back then it was cheap as shit in uk as not illegal n could get ko sent India 350american so you can imagine how that whent lol naked in dual carriage way with two bananas screaming freeze this a fuck up amongst other things pmsl......some heavy shit court cases to do with young young years came round at 29been going on n off till end summer 2015 took a toll n picked up the dreaded big naughty again to stop me taking things in to own hands out a pure frustration with British legal system been in recovery now since end of the court shit so nearly year and half do me na but gym n training does me more good than any therapy and still in a rehab in a fashion lol sssshhhh dont tell em I here lol no... after 6 month in the main program I was training heavy and staff kept joking saying they where going a test me for juice n get a special one on but bantering more than any thing,Gen wasn't back juicing then but after man boss had a word in ear n said as they not mind altering they are not in any of the policy papers n just be discreet I sort a took that as it a be ok lol .... Fucking thats my share done pmsl why has it took this long to find this forum clean serene living the dream lol big love people
so first let me say that i am taking subs. i today have one year clean from everything else/ all opiates and alcohol which was not my thing. so being on subs do i have a year clean or no. most people in the program where i live would say definetely not. ive been doing this a long time and what i do know is that being on subs has allowed me to not just stay off H but ive been employed for the last year ive been a trustworthy member of my family again i pay my bills take care of all other obligations and find time for the gym. I feel guilty taking subs and claiming i have a year clean but at the same time i know how hard it is and am proud of myself. the alternative was not promising. i before have got to this point and decided to stop maintenance meds and wind up right back where i started. i'm not sure what i want to do. but today i wont use. thank you for this group and all who share.
Rosser01Bro I take subs, I have been on them for quite some time, I consider myself clean. I know a lot of ppl disagree but it's not there life. I don't hide it, I am proud of who I have become today and without those I don't know if I would have came this far. I am happy and clean and loving life ( the subs don't get me high).!.! Keep on keeping on Bro
I don't think you'd be asking the question if you didn't feel a certain way about it. Millions of folks have gotten clean without subs or methadone, me being one of them. Heroine is a tough beat. My wife liked to bang K4s. She picked up a white chip and never looked back. If we can do it, anybody can do it. Talk to your sponsor about it.
thanks for the response. im still struggling with figuring out my own feelings. of course it can be done with out the crutch. congrats to both of you
celebrating 2 months today! I know that isn't very long & I have been sober longer before but this time is different. I have made so much more psychological progress this time than any other time before. thanks to every one on eroids who continues to sprout motivation and hope. bodybuilding has always been something to bring me back to my roots and hold me down. if anyone ever needs to talk about something no matter what it is feel free to PM me. god bless everyone. work your steps they truly result in a good life
You say 2 months isn't very long!!!!! I remember when I couldn't stay sober for a DAY!!!! 2 months is a big deal and if you are an alcoholic and drug addict like me then 2 months is like forever, I've been sober almost 2 1/2 years and I'm so grateful for a way out, keep trudging bro, the greatest years of our existence lie ahead,
Rosser01Congrats..!! Full steam ahead and don't look back, it's still fresh but there is a point when you feel absolutely no desire to go backwards and when you reach that point there is no stopping you.
thanks man means more than you know!! im getting there day by day
Ace VenturaI celebrated 14 years clean this month. Well, actually I didn't celebrate shit, and I didn't realize it even happened until now.....but on the 4th it was 14 years.
That's great! I can though see that the drug use has taken its toll on you mentally and emotionally. ;-)
I think that it's fantastic that you've kind of moved on from the "anniversaries" and life has just taken over.
Ace VenturaLol word. Yeah, nothing against anniversaries I guess, I actually don't really celebrate many holidays or birthdays either, but I do just live life the way I am. I'm aware of what I can and can't do, but those substances just aren't a part of my life or my surroundings anymore.
StevebSure if you don't count steroids. 14 years is a long time that's good.
Ace VenturaThank you. Steroids used to be confusing to me. Once I came to peace with it, I shoot that shit all the time. ...plus I never used iv drugs
I did celebrate 9 years in July. If got down like I got down, I'm sure the community is grateful for your commitment. Thank you Ace.
Ace VenturaYou're too kind. Thank you
I celebrated 8 years clean this month.....
Thank you for your commitment.
Congrats brother
Congrats! By now it should just be a distant memory of another lifetime. No regrets, and no desires to return.
I know it's getting easier but does the craving eventually go away ?
Rosser01The cravings do go away and even can become a distant memory, in the beginning you have to throw yourself into recovery with meetings, sponsor, drug free activities, until it becomes a way of life because that's what it needs to be is a way of life or it will never work, also when they say no relationships in the first year, you need to take that advice and run with it and don't look back. Anything that can get into your head and disrupt this new way of living can destroy you, relapse is not an option, it can't be, we like it to much and there can always be an excuse to pick up and use.
One last time can be just that..!! I'm almost ten years clean and I never felt better. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Just take the advice and run with it..!!
I agree with Robb and Roid below brother. Both have great insights.
I can assure you they will, provided you do the necessary work to get there. I'm at the same place as Roid when he mentions building a life so fulfilling that you would just never consider using as an option.
9+ years sober, many trials, tribulations, and triumphs in that time. But in reality it really is just one day at a time. Making the right decisions for the right reasons. Doing selfless things for others. Service work. Building self esteem. Learning to love yourself. Positive affirmations every morning and every night. Meditation. Lots of tools at your fingertips to utilize. Honesty, open mindedness, and willingness.
PM me anytime.
It's difficult and different for everyone. I personally feel no urge whatsoever, but have had a number of few month relapses. When I'm clean it rarely enters my head, it's the one last rodeo that I fall for, I'm not learning from my mistakes. Positive hobbies can help but if the underlying urge remains it's just a matter of time before one fucks up. Year's ago I'd drive straight past the gym and go score or finish up at the gym then go score, it's so dumb the things I used to do its unreal.
The availability of drugs doesn't help either, it's so fucking easy to get. Genuinely has me scratching my head cos in all the years of using there wasn't a single hour drought of heroin and crack whereas things like weed would dip and be in abundance again.
Don't think I'd of ever got clean and remained so if I was fighting a daily urge for whatever one's thing is, it must be like mental torture. I feel for the real afflicted, I'm not that strong I'd probably be another statistic by now.
my craving went away after about 2 1/2 years, but i would still fantasize about it on occasion, I remember sharing about it at 5 years clean, from 6 years on I have not had any sort of fantasy's or cravings. But I think everybody is different, and I can also say that I fix my addiction with various other things. First it was meetings and recovery, then eroids, then it was work, school, certifications, online forums about my line of work, now I just picked up a new hobby that has been a OCD crutch for the last two months, riding sport bikes at the track, learning the lingo and mods and yes another online forum. Today I was looking at a bowhunting magazine thinking thats something I would like to do since I cant have a gun.
I know my disease is very active, and if I dont find something for my mind to think about that im passionate about I will likely look for something else. I also pick stuff up much quicker than those around me, often obsessing during the day and dreaming about it at night. So my ADD keeps me busy...lol...
Alot of people will suggest that you get in touch with your God as he is the only one you will have sometimes in your fight against this disease. Make sure you are actively in meetings, daily meetings, working steps with a sponsor you call frequently, you have a support group and numbers to that support group that you actually call. Get into service, sometimes service will keep you clean when you got nothing else, its not the healthy kind of clean but if it works use it. Find some hobby that dont cost an arm and a leg, work on building relationships with family and loved ones. set yourself small goals and work toward achieving them. Say your prayers and ask him to remove the cravings daily. Stay away from anything that gives you triggers, especially shady characters and areas. Do not put yourself in a situation where you have nothing but time on your hands. And you may need to get away from the juice as it can play some factors in mental stability. Say positive affirmations, sounds weird but sometimes you need to hear it, most of us lift because we are not happy with ourselves as is. Hang around people that stay in the solution, people that are healthy. Volunteer somewhere if you have the time, itll make you feel much better about yourself, help you get out of yourself.
Truth is for me that i have built such a good life one goal at a time that I just would never consider going back, at some point I just had to much to loose. But everybody is different and youll need to find what it is that works for you.
Best of luck to you
I'm currently on Suboxone, which is trashing my T levels big time and one of the big reasons I'm here today. I was on 30mg of methadone per day legit prescribed by my doctor for nerve damage in my right thigh for 3 years but the nerves finally healed after the trauma and when it came time to come off of the methadone I couldn't physically or mentally do it. I never messed with any drugs or anything of the sort until I was put on methadone and only when it was time to start lowering my dose did I figure out that for the first time in my life that I have a drug problem. Now I'm on Suboxone and lowering my dose gradually, going to meetings (which are hard to find in my area and only meet twice a week) as well as going to therapy to sort my life out and make sure that once I can come off of the Suboxone that I don't go back to taking other painkillers. The Suboxone really helps out with those cravings and prevents me from ever feeling like I'm in withdrawals, but it's a powerful drug that I would be in BIG trouble if I ever had to go without it for more than 24-48 hours (I had one time where the pharmacy took 3 days to get my meds in and when I went to pick up my script I was in pretty serious WDs). With all of the therapy and the slow tapering of Suboxone I've managed to really get my life back together and become a functional member of society. Cheers to everybody who has been through that kind of hell and has stayed clean ever since, and to others who are still suffering I can understand the agony you're dealing with and I wish you the best of luck with getting the help you need.
the program is a trip, I had given up hope, let all my resentments go, figured it would always be this way, and after 7+ years of recovery my mom finally seen the attraction and came in to figure out how i was doing it. She picked up 30 days last month. I was blessed to be asked to give her her chip, I realized when i gave her a hug I dont think we have ever hugged before, or if so it has just been so long and so few I dont remember. First time I cried in recover, was some deep shit man.
nice!!!
thats awesome shit bro
CarterMarsNOTICE: This is a fake user affiliated with anabolicenergy.com
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Ace VenturaThat's awesome
Wow! Thanks for sharing that. Congrats on your family. You never know what life will bring. Sometimes it's great.
That is awesome brother.
Just celebrated 19 months yesterday. Relapsed with 2 years but jumped back in head first. Now that I look at it. I didn't have recovery last time. I had clean time. Grateful.
Congratulations bro.. Like you say this time its recovery!