Roid Noid's picture
Roid Noid
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+ 9 THE RECOVERY LOUNGE!....N/A, A/A, C/A, or any other Anonymous drug program!

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Welcome to the recovery lounge, this is safe place where eroid members can talk about recovery, steroids and recovery, or any other topic! There seems to be many of us here on eroids, there will surely be different fellowships in here and they are all welcome! Other eroid brothers are welcome to come and join the lounge if they would like, its open to the public!

Sackbird's picture

Recovered alcoholic junkie here. And I say recovered because I’ve recovered from a hopeless state of mind and body. Never permanently cured. It’s all semantics anyway. Anywho, just checking in here. For me, a healthy balance of AA, God, family, and the gym works perfectly for me. Feel free to friend request me if you’re struggling or just need another person in your support system.

press1's picture

As long as you are Sober today and Sober tomorrow thats all that matters buddy, nobody knows where we will be in life in a weeks time. When I use to atttend AA meetings I would often question why someone who was an Alcoholic 10 years ago is still classed as one after 10 years of sobriety. How often do you her the same term used for a Drug addict? You never hear people get reffered to as Heroin addict after 10 years of being clean from the drug. Addictive personality is probably more fitting - but if you want to be good and sucessful at something thats the kind of trait that you need in life.

Sackbird's picture

For sure. I don’t introduce myself as an alcoholic unless it’s recovery related. I know what you’re saying though. I am not who I was years ago. My past does not define me. And I refuse to put myself into a box of limitations just because I suck at drinking.

Thrillerlight's picture

Had over 2 years clean, relapsed a few weeks ago, na home group wants me to speak Friday. What should I do

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mason548's picture

tell the fucking truth stand up and show the humility to take a new comer chip bro !!!!!! you know what to do to get clean and stay clean the question you have to ask is are you ready only you know! good luck man be safe no matter what you choose to do

Clean date:7/30/2020

hogwild's picture

Relapse is part of recovery, your story will help someone no doubt. Don't beat yourself up.

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Fleetwood's picture

Speak to your home group about it. Get back on the horse, good vibes to you bro.

Greg's picture

If you want to get sober, get honest.
Talk to your sponsor and talk to the person who asked you to speak.
If I were you, I'd want to speak and include my relapse into the share.

press1's picture

Completely, he needs to talk about it and why it could of happened. There is no point in trying to ignore the situation, understanding and trying to spot the triggers that caused the relapse will help in avoiding similar situations in the future.

Pege0824's picture

Appreciate, God's know i need this .anyone here a few years, should know me Pege ,i. Trying to recover .y other account .i forgot email and all.
Anyway Im in a hell of a way. I got over a illness, that took all i had ,and i mean all.so i was ready to start up agion ,and .y luck a car .ade a right on red and slammed. Me:(.i got 2 broken bones in my.knee ,broke my back,l4 the knee is tabia,and with screws a new patellia,shoulder is shot 5lbs hurt so that makes 3 surgeries,hand got 2 nroken fingers ect
Problem i. A addict ,i been on subs but for this pain ,the m only thing that helps it ,is weed yes weed thats all i got im in the country at my daughters i cant walk except shower and
Anyway i got 3 surgeries coming. Subs arnt voong.to cut it
.im thinking methadone tabs tho they make them and brand name dolphine, i know i could. Maintain. Now im confinded to a recliner and.motning but time to research DEEPER into li k e tb500. Hgh , test i know i need ,i need to check my ng i know.im low ,but thata a.qjick intro.
Like i said i Appreciate .

press1's picture

Stay strong mate, I Hope your surgery goes well and you get well soon Good

Claudezilla's picture

Right on brother “bupe” saved my life for sure glad you found you’re way out of the darkness now remember if you don’t you should go to meeting weekly this addiction never leave’s us we walk with it the rest of our lives remember you’re doing push-ups well you’re addiction is in the back doing deadlifts and squats just waiting…..we can do this…but we can’t do it alone….stay in the light….

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Claudezilla's picture

AA meeting app check it out will find meeting’s in you’re area for you bro

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Claudezilla's picture

They do help and you might not like the first one you go to but keep looking till you find you’re “people” I’m not sure what kind of variety of meeting you have in you’re area but in my area there’s a ton of them to chose from…like myself I didn’t care for N/A I found A/A better for me…2 years later and I still go twice a week not for the drugging and drinking but for the THINKING!!

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press1's picture

I never knew you went to meetings mate!! They are incredible when you first start going to them aren't they, suddenly a door opens into a world where you are surrounded by people who mainly think exactly the same way as you do. Get so much support from the people you meet there, it can also be kinda sad in a way as I had a couple of handfuls of friends I met there who started their sobriety at the same time as me. You would see them there each week and could all discuss how you had been feeling and finding things, in time though the inevitable would happen and they would begin relapsing in the coming weeks and months. I had a few that saw a year out but in time they all went back to it. The saddest time was a good friend I had made there who made it to a year sober, We supported each other and I would go round to his place sometimes on a night. I helped him rebuild his life and get visiting time to be able to see his daughter again, he was on his final chance with her. A few months went by and no one had heard from him or seen him at meetings, then one summers evening he walked over to us all after a meeting who were stood chatting - I could tell by his eyes he was out of his face on drink and he had the evil look about him. He came over and sat near me and I just didn't know how to act or what to say as I had never seen him like this ever, he began trying to goad me and provoke me into confrontation with him just because he was drunk, it was like I just didn't know the guy at all. It truly brought home what an evil drug alcohol is and how undesirable it makes you look to someone thats sober.

BlakeYoppa's picture

Never knew about all these forums I've did every drug in the book currently on suboxone 8mg a day doing amazing heroin was my doc

Buttpokestroke's picture

Just celebrated half a year clean and sober! I have had many attempts and even longer than this but I feel this time is special. I have never been so serious about my recovery as I am now and I just gotta say it feels great to have this 6 months!

Kingofhearts585's picture

Hello everyone I have been an addict for 13 years went to prison got out had some mental health issues slit my wrist was on the run n now I have a handle on my addiction mental health and physical... Went to an NA meeting this more then the gym ... I walk an older man four times a week so he can get out n to the stores here in town... I'm trying oh n I just found out my wife is pregnant!! Have a lot to be thankful for and alot to stay strong n clean for besides myself... I'll keep all addict's in my prayers.

BrofessorChaos's picture

I'm a new member, and I thought I'd lay my issues out here because I have no real life friends. I haven't been social since the start of the pandemic. At the beginning I was stoked to not be bartending and stuck at the bar after I got off. During the lockdowns, xanax became an every day thing. Got to 3 bars (6mg/day). Then I started up with the blow, and then ended up back with the dope addiction as well. kicked the bars, stopped doing dope when I got to the doctor and started up a suboxone treatment recently.

My problem is I can't fucking STAY clean. It's like everything else in my life. I start something really motivated and excited about it. Then about three months pass and I lose interest. Depression kicks in and I'm back at it. I have to support some lives around me and I just hate myself which puts me in a negative feedback loop.

Ugh. I just needed to lay that out there. I've gotten to the point that I've realized the effects of becoming isolated fromm the world. I no longer look people in the eye. I just look at the ground when I'm at the gym, or at the grocery. I can't go to shows anymore without feeling anxious as soon as I get there to the point where I just want to leave immediately. Not really sure what to do about the hole I've dug myself into. Just need to find the strength to move on. I have the strength physically, but mentally I'm just fucked. The only thing I can do regularly is keep a garden, and consistency grow plants and take care of all the animals, and go to the gym. At least I have that.

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BlakeYoppa's picture

In ur same boat bro shit man u got a friend here ima add u

Greg's picture

You need to go to AA. Let me let you in on a secret... (it works because you connect with people on a real level) Sure, you can commune with your "higher power" and putz in the garden isolated all day but that's not going to get you to where you want to be.

We are social animals and need friends and interaction.

mason548's picture

Couldn't have said it better man my sponsor tells me the opposite of addiction is connection !!!

BrofessorChaos's picture

Roger that. I've had a lot of experience in NA, a year and a half of going 5+ times a week. Religiously. I'm not a "higher power" guy. I don't know whats going on with that, and I think it's silly to pretend we do. But I will take that suggestion and just get up and go. You're right, we are social animals. Its too easy to find excuses not to go, and I needed that push. My ideas obviously haven't the best throughout my life, and listening to people like me that have better outcomes provides better results. Thanks, man.

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Greg's picture

You can manifest Faith. Faith is how you create things. Bring ideas into reality.

With faith you can manifest a higher self. Your higher power; greater than your animal self and ego.

I'm not a "higher power" guy. I don't know what's going on with that, and I think it's silly to pretend we do.

Have you ever tried to play chess with yourself? Impossible, you know what all your counter moves will be. Stalemate.
Use faith to create your higher power and you'll be blind to what your next moves will be. You will guide yourself to sobriety and happiness.

BrofessorChaos's picture

Dude, thank you. Primo wisdom.

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press1's picture

Greg is exactly right in everything that he's saying - you need to get yourself to some AA meetings. I was constantly being told by my father that I needed to go when I was an alcoholic in complete & utter denial, I was just someone that 'liked a drink' was the way I saw it. Things got so bad that he gave me an ultimatum of 'do it or our relationship as father and son is completely over'. Walking into that first meeting was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life, I was on a drink comedown shaking and sweating drink out of me & looking like I hadn't showered in a week which was probably true lol. I'll be honest and admit I left within 10 minutes as everything people were sharing on were the exact same experiences I was having and the dawning realisation of it all was crushing and too much at the time. But I went back to the next meeting within a few days and a whole new world opened up for me - I was in a room full of people who felt exactly the same as I did about everything in life. I met some of the nicest people I ever have done in those rooms during those years and it was one of the most enjoyable parts of my life. That dark cloud that you are currently living under all of a sudden goes and you are no longer fearful of anything - sure it will take time and a lot of motivation but if YOU really want sobriety and happiness for yourself you can achieve it if it is so important to you. You have to start doing all those things that you feel uncomfortable with like going to the grocery store, AA meetings and the gym before you realise that the fear you have manifested within yourself is really about absolutely nothing at all, its just a thought in your head that will go as quickly as it came. Believe in me also when I say that those things that you think are getting rid of your anxiety and depression such as the Xanax and drink are in fact only making things worse, they mask your brain and thoughts with a cloud of fogginess and haze that does not really exist - this in turn makes you feel worse because this is not reality. These fearful thoughts vanish when you feel happy, Xanax and drink does not allow you to feel happy as all it does is numb things. You need to do things like regular training which in turn releases endorphins in your brain which I am sure you already know, these feelings of happiness and contentment over ride those negative emotions and keep you feeling mentally strong and positive. Just feel the fear and do it anyway buddy, you have nothing at all to lose and everything to gain. You have a good soul and it shines through in the way you talk and things you say, people warm to those things and will want to be in your company even if you find it difficult at first. Just go for it mate - make today a new beginning Smile

AlwaysGottaStiffy's picture

Try some mushrooms or ayahuasca. They help with withdrawal. Or even edible weed to give you the same pain relief without the nasty addiction. I've had my fair share of hard to quit vices .. only when I was ready to quit did I. And for things that were physically addicting, hallucinagens helped a fuck ton with withdrawal. Get someone close that can help keep you straight. Call you out when you have a weak moment. The will to do it is the biggest thing tho. Get that and you're unstoppable.

Fortunately for me... All I need to stop or start something is someone to tell me I can't do it. And the motivation to prove them wrong outweighs my own desire.

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press1's picture

I don't have any personal experience with the substances you are dealing with Pal - but I do have experience with alcohol addiction and withdrawal which is similar. You need to use your Training and passion for it as your outlet, your reason for quitting. Just think of how much better you could be and further forward in your lifting if you weren't shoving that pointless, expensive shit down your throat everyday. The day I quit the drink I felt the lowest I had ever felt in my life, there was nothing left of my mind or body all 110lb's of me in and out of consciousness laid on the sofa. I couldn't feel any worse than I already did, this must be true of yourself too. You have to be fuckin strong minded about this pal and say to yourself however shit and shaky and paranoid I feel I cannot feel any worse than I already do and I WILL get through this no matter how shit I feel. Those 2 days I rode out the shakes, the nausea, paranoia & anxiety and soon was eating normally again instead of half a sandwich for an entire week. Then train and train, you will be shaky and feel bad BUT you will come good. After 3 to 4 days you will begin to discover a new life and a new you and begin to be a happy person again. STOP letting yourself and your training down Good Smile

press1's picture

Thanks mate - I am always willing to help any one at any time with their addictions and problems and get great pleasure from doing so Smile You are not going to want to hear this mate, but you have to think of yourself here now. You cannot be thinking for your GF too, it is hard enough trying to come up with the mental strength for yourself - especially if she is having a tougher time than you with it all and isn't as determined to stop. She may be pulling you down and hindering your progress is what I fear. If you have quit and she is still using in front of you then this will not work. Is there somewhere she can maybe go stay whilst you wean yourself off for a week or 2? You HAVE to focus solely on yourself here - Do this for you and your child, get your bodyweight back again and want to be happy and live life again. If your girlfriend truly wants to quit she will find her way and also will find you motivational too but you have to show her you have quit first. If I was trying to quit the drink whilst my partner was sat having a glass of wine next to me at the same time it just would not have happened, the more I think about it I think she is holding you back somewhat. If you think you can quit whilst living with her still using then thats great but I think this situation does need addressing initially.

Roid Noid's picture

Been a minute since I been here. New site.....Im coming up on a birthday next month but no fronts...:)

Roid Noid's picture

I cant believe they havent banned you...lol

Been a hot minute. Busy as crap with my primary business. Havent even touched a weight in a few years.

WILDCARD1's picture

WELCOME BROTHAS I GLAD TO SEE LIKE MINDED PEOPLE THAT ARE SEROIUS ABOUT THEIR HEALTH AND RECOVERY ANY BODY EVER WANT TO CHAT OR HAVE HAD A TUFF DAY GET AT ME A LOT OF RECOVERY

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press1's picture

Welcome Mate Smile

META99's picture

Kudos to all you that are recovering. It takes a lot to stand up to addiction and stay standing up

tanner1987's picture

wow didnt expect to find a topic like this, grateful though, been in recovery almost 4 years. one thing ive been battling with about starting a cycle is not knowing how it will effect my addictive brain. has anyone had problems with a cycle unearthing old obsessions?

WILDCARD1's picture

I CANT SAY THAT DOING A CYCLE HAS MADE THE BEAST KNOCK ON THE DOOR AND WANT TO COME OUT I AM THANKFUL FOR THAT .. BUT I KNOW IT CAN BE A FINE LINE AND WOULD BE LOOKED UPON POORLY IN THE ROOMS THATS WHY ITS INPORTANT TO STAY GROUNDED STAY AWAY FROM OLD PEOPLE PLACES AND THINGS THAT COULD PUT YOUR RECOVERY INJERPERTY.. WE ALL KNOW THAT OUR SECRETS OUR WHAT TAKE KEEPS US SICK AND TAKES US OUT..
I AM JUST GLAD TO PEOPLE THAT ARE NOT AFRAID TO STAND UP AND FACE THEIR DEMON AND SAY FOR IT FOR WHAT IT IS... CONGRATS TO ALL ON THE ROAD OF RECOVERY
REMEMBER EASY DOES IT AMD ONE DAY AT A TIME

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press1's picture

It won't unearth old obsessions, but if you are really into your training and live for increasing your numbers and size then it may possibly become an obsession in itself. Some people don't find this, but they are often the guys who will take long periods from the gym which in itself I couldn't do as I'm addicted to training - I could not live without it. You have to think of it like this, you go on cycle and within a few days everything starts increasing in numbers very easily. All those years slogging away for minimal increases being frustrated, then all of a sudden you find something that gets you those numbers you thought you would never lift in a lifetime.

CBBurrr's picture

I just pulled out my workout journal.
It's been over a year

My last entry was "felt weak, did molly"
Between injuries and the lockdown I found myself getting dopamine from non natural sources.
Ready to get in shape again .
I had a panic moment at the gym. Stepped on the scale and it said 152.
Did it 10 more times...same.
I was like oh noooo.
How much did I shrink.
Fortunately it was busted.
Only shrunk to 177.
Missed you guys