posted Sun, 05/20/2012 - 18:16
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+ 11 THE RECOVERY LOUNGE!....N/A, A/A, C/A, or any other Anonymous drug program!
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Welcome to the recovery lounge, this is safe place where eroid members can talk about recovery, steroids and recovery, or any other topic! There seems to be many of us here on eroids, there will surely be different fellowships in here and they are all welcome! Other eroid brothers are welcome to come and join the lounge if they would like, its open to the public!
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I can relate
AnonEvery nye,nyd and pretty much the rest of the year that followed ive been fukd off my brains on drink and drugs since I can remember..not the last that just passed..all the best and keep them demons at bay folks..fkn hard work and every cunt slips up..dust yourself off and keep pluggin away cobz!
All the best in the new year!
Peace:)
This is for anyone who might be on suboxone. Ive been on them now for 4.5yrs. Before finding subs my life was a mess a complete mess. I struggled for years to beat my addiction to pain pills. I lost job after job. I lost a loveing wife my teenage sweet heart and my family. The most important thing I lost was myself. I fought so hard to break the grip thay pills had over my life with no luck. Finally I found suboxone. This has been the best help I have ever found. What I lost and destroyed in 15yrs of pills ive gained back in the short 4 years of being on subs. Suboxone was a god send and a life saver. Now I find it time to come off of them and live a happy and productive life free of any help from suboxone. At times I feel scared to get off of them for fear of returning to pain pills and that dark life I left behind. I dont want to stay on suboxone for evere but at the same time im scared to get off. My dr told me he has patients that stay on a maintenance dose of 2mg a day for life. Im up in the air on this. Since getting clean I got anice career in corrections I've gained full custody of my youngest son I got engaged to a beautiful 22yr old bomb shell that adores me and im building a wonderful life for myself now. Without suboxone none of this would have been possible. So getting off subs completely does scare me. So for the guys on suboxone what is your take on staying on a low maintenance dose for life. I apriceate all you guys and your feed back. Much love to all my recovering brothers and mad respect because this can be a long hard row to hoe just keep your heads up it does get better.
Risk vs Benefits my brother! You obviously know the risk, however what are the benefits? Are the subs giving you any sides(other than low t)?
McNASTYI've bin on suboxone for two years. I started them because I had gotten a injury during my grappling training. An the doctor put me on oxcodone 5mg an gave me 90 with one refill. An let me tell ya. I felt like I was king of the world continued training injured even had a fight in the ring whyll on these fuckers . Before I knew it. I was in pain management getting oxy 30's an eating them bitches like candy. I had to stop an my GF found a suboxone clinic an ice bin on them ever since . Only thing now is . I go threw 120 8mg strips amonth. "I'm on 21mg ED" but my buddy gives me 30-40 on top of the one I get from my doc. I am slowly going down . But, it's not easy. Honesly I wish I never went on them.
Im in the middle of finishing outpatient rehab, ive not used any pills in years, they are trying to offer me suboxone too but i refuse to switch up agin, the methadone they got us on now is bad enough, ive detoxed myself down, at 30mg now, dropping 5mg a week and will be outta there in a few months, lifting helps
Brother suboxone is a life saver and a life taker at the same time. Ive been on them for 5yrs. They saves my life but at the same time I traded one addiction for another. I started out at 3 a day 24mgs now i take 4mgs a day. I feel so much better now that I dropped the dosage. It wasnt to hard to get down to 4mgs a day you just have to do it slowly. Sometimes I even take a half of one every other day just depenss on how im feeling and how life is going. I hope you can cut back way back on your dosage. Withdrawal from suboxone is way worse than opiates. Try and wean yourself down as soon as you can but dont rush or force yourself but you can do it I promise you you can. Youll be alot happier and healthy. Hit me up some rime via pm and we can talk about it or anything else you may need to talk about im always here for my brothers in recovery much respect and much love brother. Keep it up im proud of you.
Fr sent hit me up for sure id like to talk with ya.
Man you guys are awesome thank you so much for all the advise and encouragement it means alot to have people trying to help a stranger realy thank yall. Went to my dr today and talked to him about cutting back and winging off of them. He said we would do a slow taper and once he got me 2mgs a day he'd keep me there for a bit till I felt comfortable comeing off completely. He said therw was no need to rush. I wish I was able to judt go cold turkey and go to a detox for a week or two but with having custody of my doy and two job its a no go. In going to have to fucking man up and do this shit. I got I know I can do it its just going to take a lottle time and some praying. Yall fellows pray for me if ya dont mind.
Boy do I understand that, man!
It's cool that you're being honest about it; you're lost otherwise. Good job!
As a guy who came in 31 years ago, and only has two years now, I can share one thing with anyone interested: that seat is mine for life, clean and sober, or not. Nobody's ever gonna tell me I can't keep coming back. If they were to ever have tried, it would've been a bloody mess! After having 11 years at one time and speaking at convention level, and sponsoring half the room, it was excruciating to raise my hand again as a newcomer. But the alternative was death.
I have two torn rotator cuffs that the orthopedist thinks are from lifting. I think maybe he's right, from lifting up my fucking hand as a newcomber so many times!
Ace VenturaYou'll do well, Shaun. You seem like you have a good heart.
Hell yeah. You're on the right way, brother. Stay straight, you'll make it.
ITs hard to say what you should do bro, Cuz your going to go into detox when you do. It's just like opiate withdrawals. But my advice is to get off them. Personally I work the NA program, an Ive tried maintaining my addiction every way possible and nothing compares to knowing that any given day, Gods got this. Your reliance on a DRT makes the DRT your higher power. Without it, your going to go into withdrawals, no matter how low a dose you get to. I would definitely look at maybe taking some pto and spending the weekend in a detox.
Don't stay at your dosage for your life. Try to finish completely and see how good it is, to life a normal life without that shit. You are right, if you're scared. Because it's a really hard way... But you can do it! If you really want to finish, you will handle it. Wish you the power and strength to do it. Stay straight bro.
Thanks brother.
Ive been slowly cutting myself back. I started at 3 a day 24mgs and now im down to 4mgs a day. Sometimes I mighr hop back up to 8mgs a day but for the most part I stay a 4. You know ive lived so long dependent on something im not sure I would even know how to live completely clean id have to learn life all over again. The thought is scary. Im so tired of it all though I could scream. I want to be normal and clear minded like a normal person but theses days whats normal. Getting up in age now and its just time for a better life. Thanks guys for the feed back it means alot its nice to be able to talk about this with like minded friends.
I'd try to get off them if I was you, a very slow taper should work well. It's just a matter of a tiny drop at a time then letting the body adjust for a couple of weeks, then dropping a tiny bit again, let yourself adjust then repeat.
If I remember correctly there minimum dose is 0.4mg so making slight adjustments should be better than having to cut up tabs.
In my opinion i would get off. Get a good taper method. I stopped subutex cold turkey and wothdraweled for two months. It will suck to come off but trust me. Its alpt better to be off of everything
Happy to see this thread!
21 months C&S here!
marijuana? ?? you in here for some marijuana? marijuana isnt a drug. ..i used to suck dick for coke. ..you ever suck dick for some marijuana?
ahhhhh classic movie line
but in all seriousness xanax ruined me for 2 years along with tony montana pain killers and trees......havent done any of them im over 2 years
Wow. I would of never thought a forum like this existed on eroids. Didnt realize there were this many of us. Opiates destroyed my life. After two years of not putting a substance in my body, im finally getting my life back on track. The gym is a huge part to my life again. Lets me relase all the agression and stress.
I recently had a relapse and I felt so crappy about it the very next day. Currently I'm bouncing and bartending at a local strip club and I'm very fond of one of the girls and I let her talk me into it.. Well she didn't really talk me into it, she offered and I wanted to be like yeah, I'm cool, what of it and I did a few lines. But that was yesterday and today is a new day. I established myself and I explained to her that I'm not interested in the drugs but rather into her and she completely understand and hasn't pushed it in my face since. It takes a strong man to admit when he is wrong, but it takes a stronger man to learn and move forward. I'm thankful to have went through it all before because I know my limitations and theres nothing positive in it... You have to make a choice to live or to just exist. I choice to live.
Man bro you gotta seriously think ab the situation you're getting yourself into with this girl. A recovering addict shouldn't ever get into a relationship with someone in active addiction.
Now would be a good time to ask for the Lord's help bro. Humble yourself and do it.
Oops, that was meant for another dude's comment.
But, a main reason that all 12 Step Programs work, is that they don't tell another what to believe in. They might say you have to believe in something, but it doesn't have to be "The Lord."
We had churches before the inception of 12 Steps (AA); it didn't work for many many many people. That's why the forerunner of AA, The Oxford Groups, failed and is just an obscure movement in history books. The founders of AA are the only reason it's in the history books.
If they all work, why do over 50% continously relapse?
Good question, Bro!
Its because it's a very seriously difficult disease to get free of. It's an actual disease, but it's unusual in that the mind, body, and spirit (if you will), are all afflicted. The mind tells the addict that he isn't an addict, or that this time will be different. The spirit gets so beat down that it says, "Fuck it. Maybe I'll die if I relapse but who cares? My life sucks anyway."
And 50% is huge. Recovery isn't perfect (The recovery rate is actually way less than 50% success rate. But that doesn't account for the 90% percent of relapses who come back and get clean and sober again), but before AA started the whole 12 Step movement, there was no such thing as a recovery rate.
It has really saved my life many times. That's my experience and that can't be debated over.
Thanks for sharing. How would you describe your current state of, if any, addiction?
Being that I like the medical model, I'd describe it as, "in remission." I have ups and downs but I don't experience the mental obsession that can linger or resurface into periods of abstinence. That wasn't always the case in previous periods of sobriety.
A line out of the AA Big Book that describes the change that should take place after having worked the Steps is coming true for me, more and more, "Quite often friends of the newcomer are aware of the difference long before he is himself. He finally realizes that he has undergone a profound alteration in his reaction to life; that such a change could hardly have been brought about by himself alone." [2nd Appendix - "Spiritual Experience"]
I've largely given up my automatic, life long, inner argument with reality. Stuff just doesn't piss me off so much anymore!
Thanks, Marlin!
Serious? If there is one thing that I've learned, than that there is no god. Just believe in your own strength and your family/friends. Just help yourself, no god will do this!
Your opinion is your right; but it's more easy heard if its delivered better, bro.
Here's the simplest practical definition of addiction: I can't stop.
No matter how badly and sincerely I want to, I can't. If the wife and kids are gonna leave, the doctor says I'll die if I don't stop (or pick up again), or if I'll go back to prison, I atill can't stop. I've never stopped. I've always been stopped. Usually that took handcuffs or a bullet.
Truly, if one can stop the cravings while drinking or using, or stop the mental obsession that can persist or resurface long into abstinence, they aren't truly an addict.
That's more than opinion. It's backed by the AMA which declared that its a real disease in the 1950's, and my own experience.
This has been a topic that always gets me. 6 years into recovery and the God thing avoids me still. been through the steps, been to many churches, celebrate recovery, watch TV God stuff and through it all im like well some of it seems true and some of it seems fake as hell.
Ive watched many people come into recovery and not believe in a God and then get one and really get a good connection, pretty cool to see.
So i wanted that connection myself, tried several times and what it really came down to is I just couldnt even remember to prey, talk to god or anything else.
Some people say that when they talk to themselves in their brain they are debating with their God, and I can relate with that, I do that ALL the time. But I dont really call it God like others do.
the ONLY time I talk to God, or try to atleast, is when there is something going on that is stressful and I have taken all I can of the issue, I just ask him to take the issue from me and give me the outcome that is going to come regardless of how much time I spend thinking about. Or rather what we "call turn it over", I dont do it but maybe once a year if that, but when i do I can relieve some stress and move on.
Certainly I am the kind of guy that believes that my own strength is what moves me into the places I need to be, into most of the situations I get in. But there is also many situations that I have no control over.
Everybody has their own beliefs, I admire those that can draw strength from something that is not seen. And I wish everybody the best they can get, if that means through their God then so be it. let them do their thang! And you do yours! You never know, maybe we just arent ready yet!
A Higher Power doesn't have to be "God," just a spiritual power greater than oneself because addiction is something greater than the addict's desire and unaided efforts.
A "spiritual power" can mean something as simple as having compassion for and care about another alcoholic or addict because I've been there and know the way out. That care--unconditional love--is not a physical or material thing, but its clearly real. I had a sponsor take me thru the steps and it changed everything; now I take other guys thru. Its not about the biblical shit, or church bs for me; its about helping a brother sufferer.
The way your heart is set on helping others out is exactly how God uses you, since he knows what it takes for you to do that and if that means bashing him he still approves.
This comment was in reply to PoundforPound
Damn, I keep replying to the wrong guy!
A rose by any other name...
1 John 4:8
The best three words in the bible
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. That is his opinion and you certainly have yours. No need to jump down someones throat for voicing it.
.
Ace VenturaYou're so wise.
Yes, I know.
I have, I've prayed and we prayed together. Through the Lord Christ all things are possible. I will save her bro.
You need to get away from this girl bro. An ex addict can not have a gf that is in active addiction. It's not possible. Look at how well you've done since you quit that shit . Do you really want to risk giving that up? Fuck no run for your life bro.
Remember, existing is the best case scenario for an addict. A lot don't make it out Alive.
X2
Everytime I relapsed it was in a similar scenario.
Hitman187Yea true. Situations like this usually dont turn out well. I've never heard a story like this that had a happy ending. So with that said good luck bro.
dude I really feel like I can get her away from it. We talked tonight and her attitude about it was so strong about how much she hates it now, she quit. I told her I will support her through her recovery and she said I'm such a nice guy, dreamy and romantic that she would literally make the choice to be with me than continue to do what she has been. She literally broke down and cried in my arms about it, to the point I had to carry her to the back and just hold her while she let it all out. She is an amazing women that has a demon cawling her in the back.. I can see the good in her and the potential for a bright future. I am going to fight for her and if she decides that the drug is more important than a real man, that will love and take care of her it will be a choice she will have to live by. I will not fall down that road again, that simple. Yes I made a mistake and I've come to terms with that, however I will not make that mistake again. I'm to disgusted with my action to allow that to be.
she needs to quit on her own, go about your life without her. To many addicts have relapsed and died trying to save someone else. Attraction not promotion!
Bro she's living with me now, IDK how I ended up meeting women and end up living with them within a couple weeks.. It's crazy.. But I can see she's really proud of herself and I'm going to support her. Everyday she says it day number...fill in the blank.. and I can see it her eyes she means it. She made the choice to quite herself. I'm going to continue to support her and if she decides to go back down that road she will have to leave and that's that. Here's a picture of her bro...
A couple weeks. Thats way to fast. Honestly it sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. Go get you a girl who already has her shit together and never had drug problems. Ive been through trying to help others. But it doesnt work unless they want to help themselves. I was just in a three year relationship and broke it off. We relapses together 10 months back and it was horrible and the drugs lasted for 6months. Just 4 days ago i broke up with her because she wants to use drugs and it gets me going. I cant be around that. Were not good for each other anymore. Life goes on. Shit i love being alone. You gotta be happy with yourself before you can even try to be in a relationship with another. Thats why they say to not get in a relationshiop for a year.
I agree with noid too. It's very risky to loose yourself, while trying to save her....
Are you reading the twelve abd twelve? It helped me a bunch. Pts talking to my sponsor always brought me down to earth. Please be careful. I hope you are attending done 12 step meetings.