posted Sun, 05/20/2012 - 18:16
228478
+ 11 THE RECOVERY LOUNGE!....N/A, A/A, C/A, or any other Anonymous drug program!
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Welcome to the recovery lounge, this is safe place where eroid members can talk about recovery, steroids and recovery, or any other topic! There seems to be many of us here on eroids, there will surely be different fellowships in here and they are all welcome! Other eroid brothers are welcome to come and join the lounge if they would like, its open to the public!
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Did H and I tuff for about 5 years.Spoke all over the place.Was the chair of the committee for awhile.My sponsee got this commitment so im speaking for him.
i was told about this thread by a friend, its good to know that we are ALL not alone.
Oh yea brother we all have demons in or closets. But its the angels out side that keep those fuckers in the closet.
The Power in the group
Page 152
"Our understanding of a Higher Power is up to us...We can call it the group, the program, or we can call it God."
Basic Text, p. 24
Many of us have a hard time with the idea of a Higher Power until we fully accept the depth of our own powerlessness over addiction. Once we do, most of us are at least willing to consider seeking the help of some Power greater than our disease. The first practical exposure many of us have to that kind of Power is in the NA group. Perhaps that's where we should start in developing our own understanding of God.
One evidence of the Power in the group is the unconditional love shown when NA members help one another without expectation of reward. The group's collective experience in recovery is itself a Power greater than our own, for the group has practical knowledge of what works and what doesn't And the fact that addicts keep coming to NA meetings, day after day, is a demonstration of the presence of a Higher Power, some attractive, caring force at work that helps addicts stay clean and grow.
All these things are evidence of a Power that can be found in NA groups. When we look around with an open mind, each of us will be able to identify other signs of that Power. It doesn't matter if we call it God, a Higher Power, or anything else-just as long as we find a way to incorporate that Power into our daily lives.
Just for Today: I will open my eyes and my mind to signs of a Power that exists in my NA group. I will call upon that Power to help me stay clean.
May 25, 2012
"Good" and "bad" feelings
Page 151
"A lot happens in one day, both negative and positive. If we do not take time to appreciate both, perhaps we will miss something that will help us grow."
IP No. 8, Just for Today
Most of us seem to unconsciously judge what happens in our lives each day as good or bad, success or failure. We tend to feel happy about the "good" and angry, frustrated, or guilty about the "bad." Good and bad feelings, though, often have little to do with what's truly good or bad for us. We may learn more from our failures than our successes, especially if failure has come from taking a risk.
Attaching value judgments to our emotional reactions ties us to our old ways of thinking. We can change the way we think about the incidents of everyday life, viewing them as opportunities for growth, not as good or bad. We can search for lessons rather than assigning value. When we do this, we learn something from each day. Our daily Tenth Step is an excellent tool for evaluating the day's events and learning from both success and failure.
Just for Today: I am offered an opportunity to apply the principles of recovery so that I will learn and grow. When I learn from life's events, I succeed.
Hey brother what book is this? Thinks for the inspiration to help me look forward to a positive day today.
this is the pages of Narcotics Anonymous "Just for today" book! Theres a reading for everyday of the year!
Thanks. Will look into it. We all have our own reasons for such quotes needed.
thanks man, i forgot to put yesterdays jft on here and almost forgot today im gald you are on top of things..i love this just for today it keeps my mind positive on growing from problems and not falling into old thinking and getting in the dumps. for example im in a financial bind right now but its just promoting better judgements and to stop spending money to make myself feel good that is addict behaivor..and it motivates me to keep on the steps cause im not on ten yet
Hey
Yea stinkin thinkin never got me anywhere good. This is kind of a tough weekend for many people to fall back as they may remember lost loved ones but others may fall back just because it's nice out and a long weekend...me, I was a very dedicated addict who felt anyday was a day to use!
I was just thinking about my past today and how Im back to the real me again and re-learning life on life's terms and all that AA lingo that seems to be true...go figure
Oh brother! I know what you are talking about with that dam spending money addict shit. Most people dont understand that thats a serious problem. I was there a time or two. I found a cool way to help with it. I opened up a ING acct and every time I felt like spending or just the urge. I would transfer money into the ING acct from checking and whats cool about curing this addiction is you slowly become addicted to saving money, just dont put your wife on it. I say this because my ex when she kidnapped my daughters she stole all of it. I have starting a new one since. Try it bro.
You know how when you buy a new car, then suddenly realize how many are driving your model of car...?
When at a party I always felt I had to drink to loosen up. I was timid meeting new people and mingling... I'd be that guy standing in the corner looking like he wasn't having a good time... Afraid I wouldn't have anything clever to say...
When I was on the fence about drinking (or doing drugs for that matter) I was worried about fitting in. Everyone drank and I felt I was going to be left out if I didn't drink too.
I'd say I was the designated driver (but you walked here didn't you) or I'd hold a non-alcoholic drink in my hand passing it off as a mixed drink. All the while wrestling my demons.
When I surrendered my old persona and said "fuck-it!" I'm going to be that guy who doesn't drink. Suddenly I realized there were a lot of non drinkers. My demons disappeared... And coming up with something clever to say, shit, I was the sharpest man in the room -what with everyone else being drunk and all.
It still amazes me how many clean and sober people there are, where as before, everyone seemed to be on something.
Hello all. Just got clued in to here by my buddy testaholic. I'm sober 2 1/2yrs but just for today I thank god I'm not alone anymore. Peace to you and yours.
What's up and welcome
I get that "oh yea I'm not alone" feeling a lot. It's like I get away from meetings for a week and get caught up with life then i feel kind of off and I hit a meeting...it's like fresh air and I remember that we're all fucked up sober people...And anybody who's in the program knows what i mean caus we r fucked up like that saying "I'm just another bozo on the bus."
Welcome Brave!!
Just hit 140 days from the opiates today. I have yet to check out NA. I go to outpatient groups 4 days a week and my counselor is really encouraging me to check out NA. Can anyone shed some light as to why it would be better than outpatient?
That shits like the boogyman bro.. Its lurking around every corner waiting for you to just get a wiff of it... Being around people alike will give the same feeling of security the very drug you were attached to, in a more positive way. These same people you connect with in a special way each can learn and watch out for each other.I have a book called "change your brain change your life" check it bro, pretty interesting stuff you didnt know about yourself.
testaholicYou get to meet like minded people bro! If it want for me meeting new sober peeps I probably would be high right now...and thats how I got my sponsor
Roids right brother..for me op was fine .....when i was left to be "markymark" again,alone....it got worse each time
It is imperative to get connected with members of the program with long term recovery! Out patient is good but its not gonna be there for ever, the sooner you assert yourself with the N/A community the safer you will be when transitioning out of out patient! Out patient also doesnt require a sponsor nor the 12 steps! which is the solution to getting,keeping, and remaining clean. Some do it by themselves but most will fail with out the true understanding of the disease of addiction, and how that disease has affected you, or even when it is talking to you! save your life brother and get connected!
testaholicx2 shits serious bro. Nice advice, didnt even read down before I commented...
I do hospitals and institutions or H and I, I tell addicts in out patient to RUN to an N/A meeting, sit in the front row so people know you are serious about your recovery, and when they ask if there is any new comers raise your hand and tell them you got how ever many days you got but you need a phone list and a sponsor and some help. I tell them to call the men on that phone list by the next day and tell them who you are and that you will call back tomorrow! Get fucking connected! If your serious about your recovery addicts will see this and you will never have to walk through anything alone!
8 years clean I think. I stopped counting. I was incarecerated for drug related offenses as well. Some drama shit really. The kind of charges that don't go away! Obviously there are a lot of us in here. Good move Roid Noid!
and good 4u Nitti
May 23, 2012
Amends and sponsors
Page 149
"We want to be free of our guilt, but we don't wish to do so at the expense of anyone else."
Basic Text, p. 40
Let's face it: Most of us left trails of destruction in our wakes and harmed anyone who got in our way. Some of the people we hurt most in our addiction were the people we loved most. In an effort to purge ourselves of the guilt we feel for what we've done, we may be tempted to share with our loved ones, in gruesome detail, things that are better left unsaid. Such disclosures could do much harm and may do little good.
The Ninth Step is not about easing our guilty consciences; it's about taking responsibility for the wrongs we've done. In working our Eighth and Ninth Steps, we should seek the guidance of our sponsor and amend our wrongs in a manner that won't cause us to owe more amends. We are not just seeking freedom from remorse-we are seeking freedom from our defects. We never again want to inflict harm on our loved ones. One way to insure that we do not is by working the Ninth Step responsibly, checking our motives, and discussing with our sponsor the particular amends we plan to make before we make them.
Just for Today: I wish to accept responsibility for my actions. Before making any amends, I will talk with my sponsor.
Direct amends are tough but I think they have to be done. Better to unburden ourselves because its hard enough without even more baggage cluttering up the attic.
I make amends daily if I fuck up or say/do something that I realized was wrong...after a while of doing this I started to act differently and learned to deal with life on life's terms. No longer do I feel the need to cut people off on the road or blow my horn for 5 minutes, I have become far more patient with persistence!
me too.10 step check yourself before you wreck urself.haha.
I am working on the road rage myself. I can tolerate a lot of things... but people with highbeams on in the city, going way under the speed limit and cutting me off still get to me. Though I won't honk the horn unless it is crucial or give the finger, I still curse a time or two in my car. As for amends, yeah they have to be done. I cannot change what I have done, but I can at least attempt to let the person I wronged know I acknowledge I fucked up and would like to make it up somehow if possible.
Yea I try to be patient but I have horriblee road rage..but I do try too make ammends daily the biggest thing for me is changing my life and showing people I have changed its not so much making appolagies.
I learned that it's not so much an apology as an agnolagement.
As far as just living a clean life and having others see this..well that is huge as well ad it's a great thing to just do YOU and others will sooner than later say things about you and see you in a positive light. Hopefully when that time comes you realize your still an addict and need to brush off the praise and just keep rolling.
Just for Today
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
"It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. ...But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal." - Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition, 1976, Ch 5, p 66
Just for today, I will understand and accept that resentments are both futile and unhappy and, by holding onto them, other words in the Big Book are gospel: " ...(H)arboring such (resentment), we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die." Because I cannot afford to empower anything so strongly that my sobriety and, subsequently, my life are imperiled, I will listen to my Higher Power for the Way to release to Him my resentments without taking them back. By holding onto and later taking back resentment, I must follow the Big Book's conclusion that I am still spiritually sick and that the sickness can magnify to trigger a slip or relapse. Today, I beg in sincerity and humility for the courage, strength, willingness and humility to release that which I cannot control. And our common journey continues. Just for today.
hope 2day is a good day for all....keep up the good work...remember your goals!!
SOMETIMES ....i need those little reminders(sorry dand06..i hear ya..) so i dont go back....when things are @ their best..when alls well..THATS the time i have to be xtra careful...
Well fuck. My past catches up with me again today. Had the chance to have a cushy government job for the summer... but this thing called a criminal record happened to eliminate me after I had beaten all other candidates for the job. What am I grateful for today... not being 6 feet under. Not having to do the same old shit I use too. But just a wee bit pissed off now.
Hey bro! depending on the severity and the length of time that has passed. You can have many, many crimes exsponged off your record. Even felony's I know first hand Bro! there is hope It just comes in the form of cash and patiance and the right attorney. Mine was $900 for the Attorney and done. It no longer shows.
When I moved to the US from the UK I was VERY surprised to hear about the ability to have certain crimes exsponged off you record. That is not the case in the UK & Europe. And from what I have been told, true or not I don't know, the exsponging of a crime from your record is a one time chance for only ONE crime on your record.
I.E: If you were charged and convicted with a D.U.I and at the time you were pulled over they found you in possession of some paraphernalia and you received another charge and sentence for it, you have to choose which ONE you want to have removed.
I may be wrong, but that's how I understood when it was explained to me.
Don't get me wrong, I STILL believe and FULLY support that, 'If You Do The Crime, You Do The Time'.
But when does the time get served?
testaholicThis is true. Just recently looked into it and found out I couldnt get it off
My father said to some wisdom words to me once and i wish i would have listened well. You dont ever want to be in the system once you are in you will forever be a victim of control. In other words your time is never served the laws are put in place for a reason and it is to make sure you will always struggle to make it to the top. Keeps the government in control of you. Nevef admit to anything even if its in your own hand. An attorney can get you off of anything and if you study on your crime before going to court alot of times you can keep yourself from any convictions or atleast take care of the first small steps to save money on attorney fees.
I was in a similar situation and it was pretty hardcore shit. Several charges and convictions but i was young 19 and able to get it all exsponged. I had one call about it when i registering a fire arm and i called the courts were it was placed and had them update there records and they gladly did so. I know of others that have done it, im not sure if it works for all states but the 2 i have had problems with exsponging your record works. Call a defense attorney you might have to call more then one to get any type of good info.
I plan on writing an extensive post about this subject soon.
Times have changed----used to be you could keep quiet and land a job if everything fell into place. Now we live in the information age and convicted felons are FUCKED even more than they already were.
That's going to come back and haunt this society-----I know guys who don't even want to give up their single cell in prison because they know they're coming back, and in my state, it takes about 5 years to get a single cell.
Crime is going to skyrocket as this economy continues to collapse.
Yea we really have to change the criminal justice system in th US. The way prosecutors throw around years of people's lives a d the cycle is starts when they throw young men in prison. Throw em' in prison first ask questions later, and prosecutors talk about their conviction rate like a batting average and never about justice. Or crime fitting the punishment. Meanwhile if you dont have money you cant navigate the justice system and you end up pleading to a felony and throwing your life away over mistake where no one was really hurt. Its good to have so much in common with people here. This is something i feel passionately about and i hope i can do something to change. So much wasted talent.
The ONLY time I obtained ANY kind of criminal record was when I had my breakdown. I never even had speeding or parking tickets. So for me to end with a record, simply because I was crying out for help, bites my a*se a bit when I think about it.
But WHEN is your debt to society REALLY paid?
Is it when the judge hands down your sentence, because that's what the law lords have decreed is a worthy sentence for the crime you committed and he tells you, "THIS is the amount of time that you must serve to repay society for what you did"?
HELL NO!!!
IF you break a law today, it's with you for life, so your sentence, no matter what the crime, is a LIFE sentence.
And in my opinion, now that I know what it feels like to live in that 8x14 double manned box, is WRONG.
How long should people have to pay for a drug offense? A 5 year sentence is really a life sentence. Every sentence is a life sentence at this point. You're right. This will come back to haunt society!
Bollox to the job, you prolly wouldn't have liked it any way! Yea, but soz to hear that. Sometimes it once step forward, then one back. Something better will come along.
Just wish that sometimes, life could be a little bit smoother. You have your health, & your money is spent how you want it, not with some prat.
Ever notice how the toughest times are at night after the day is done and you want to vent----relax and let off steam?
THAT'S when coke would call me the loudest. I still will fire up a bowl of weed, but the coke days are long-gone.
My highest highs-----and my lowest lows cam from coke.
I have a friend who a "functional coke-head"....amazes me how well he gets through life-----must be genetic.
You know man.. I thought I was a functioning addict as well.. I held a job as a math professor in a large college.. But once I cleaned up and gained some knowledge I realized i was crazy for thinking that.. I dont think there is a such thing as a functioning addict. you are barely functioning at best.. the only thing on your mind is your next fix and not wanting to get sick and you become insane over it. Well thats just how i feel..
TxBigBoyYour right bro, you always tell yourself that your doing just fine until you hit rock bottom and are forced to clean yourself up, that's when you realize you were never really a functioning addict but that your addiction just wasn't as bad as it could be. I know several people who are addicts but the addiction is weak enough that they can withdraw themselves for several days and go right back on. I have met one person in my life that I believe was a true functioning addict. He is a foreman for a big construction company, wakes up every morning at 4am works his ass off then comes home and smokes crack till he pretty much passes out. Wakes up an does it all over again. The thing is you would never know he's a crack addict unless you saw him smoke it. Only reason I know is cause I sold him the blow for years, never even knew he cooked it up until one day I brought it to him.
testaholicThere a shit ton of functioning addicts in construction. I was one for the last 4 years. I was addicted to drugs before that too, but just wasnt functioning till the last 4. ALOT of dope in construction, mostly pills, alcohol, weed, crack n heroin out my way. I liked it all except the crack.
TxBigBoyThat's the truth, got a lot of friends in construction and factory work and vicoden is like candy out there. I've done damn near every drug there is and never really got addicted until a friend got me on pain pills. Started taking them for a tooth ache one day and just never really stopped. I'd wein myself off all the time just so I could get high again, luckily I never turned H but pretty much everyone I used with did. Met my wife around the time everything started going to shit and she really helped me turn things around.
The docs have me on Norco for the numerous injuries I have. 98 they had me on oxycontin for a broken neck. I took it as prescribed shit made me amped as hell felt like speed to me. I got sick of the shit I hated it. So i cold turkyed the shit had a full bottle sitten on my night stand. Never touched it I will never take that shit again withdrawls about killed me. Since then pain pills have been part of my life I cant stand them except for when they take away pain. Then I was introduced to AAS and what a difference. Pain med intake dropped dramaticly after the first month and slowly down to a full day with out needing one. I have a full story on and off meds and how much help AAS has been not only for me but other friends and family. In moderation for most. I hate pain meds on them now for another spinal surgery, shoulder and knee surgerys. I had the worst post cycle after emergency surgery. Just now recovering and need to start a new cycle, to help with pain and rehab. Then I wont have to take as much meds or none at all.