posted Sun, 05/20/2012 - 18:16
221141
+ 10 THE RECOVERY LOUNGE!....N/A, A/A, C/A, or any other Anonymous drug program!
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Welcome to the recovery lounge, this is safe place where eroid members can talk about recovery, steroids and recovery, or any other topic! There seems to be many of us here on eroids, there will surely be different fellowships in here and they are all welcome! Other eroid brothers are welcome to come and join the lounge if they would like, its open to the public!
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So many things could be considered mind altering. In affect, Tylenol could be considered mind altering, because it psychologically convinces oneself that it will alter and relieve the pain you are feeling. That is the crackpot theory I have come up with today lol
Does tren alter your mood that much? In any dose or just high doses? Test alters me a little but i feel the good out ways the bad in my case.
I had mood changes but I think it's over rated, especially for people like us who have been through hell already and popped up back to life.
We are a different breed in general so even with AAS I have to watch out that I'm not using massive amounts of pills and juice lol. I would like to run a massive cycle of every oil and oral in the book but I know better and with "drugs" I didn't know better and more importantly when I did know better I didn't care....I respect AAS and won't ever abuse it.
Tren did make me evil at times only because I allowed it to and because I was figuring out my ideal dose through trial and error. I am best at .5-.75CC ED of tren ace, anything more it's bad anything less it's not worth the sides....I wouldn't recommend trying it tho
I have to take care of kids all the time, and dealing with their teachers other parents and an ex wife that couldn't give 2 shits for her own kids. I think tren would probably make me nut up and never come down. I probably have more aggression built up insid then most! I have been treated like dog shit by everyone i help or atleast let down. The probably I have is when someone fucks with my daughters, then i am like dr Jekyll and mr Hyde. The last confrontation i had with my kids dip shit vice principal. Was not cool i told her exactly the truth about her and how i warned the school of these kids bullshit and they better take care of it before it gets one of my daughters involved. Low and behold this bitch his still trying to prove a point with out apologizing for her incompetence. I was pissed, the local officer had to stand in and apologize for her. Was that roids or was that just being plain honest and keeping it real.
it effects everyone different, but even at small doses it can change alot of things. Even at high doses I was able to handle it without losing control but for someone who loves anger or rage this compound will bring it out. it is mood altering.
ive never run tren, and thats absolutly why, im scared of it. hearing of all the things that it does too you. the worst for me would be the innsomnia i cant stand wanting too sleep and not being able too. and the mental drain it causes in some cases, i would be afraid it would want to make me use to cope..... on an off note i was asked to hold a NA meeting for presence of the national drug court council expo in the opry land hotel last night. if you dont know about the opry land hotel, look it up its absolutly amazing, definetly the nicest meeting room ive ever got to sit in. and the people where all from different areas only 8 addicts actually showed up but it was really cool to see and be a part of.
testaholicTren affects people in different ways. I personally sleep decent whilst running it. I DO get hot throughout the day and a bit moody. By moody I dont mean I turn into a complete asshole, i just get pissed a lil easier and tend to hold onto it longer than normal. Its definetly not a steroid I would recommend for someone new to gear or new to recovery....as far as it being considered a relapse......idk. Personal opinion I suppose. Its a gray area. I kno it can affect my serenity tho.
Celebrating 5 years total absitinance today... And pinning twice a week. What up HOUSE!
all the best
Cheers!
congrats on the sobriety...now onto another 24!
You must be taking Test E
Carry me
Page 155
"We believe that our Higher Power will take care of us."
Basic Text, p. 58
We all have times when it seems as though our lives are falling apart. There are days, or even weeks, when it seems that everything that can go wrong is going wrong. Whether it's the loss of a job, the death of a loved one, or the end of a relationship, we doubt that we'll survive the changes taking place in our lives.
It's during the times when the world is crashing down around our ears that we find our greatest faith in a loving Higher Power. No human being could relieve our suffering; we know that only God's care can provide the comfort we seek. We feel broken but we go on, knowing that our lives will be repaired.
As we progress in our recovery and our faith in our Higher Power grows, we are sure to greet the difficult times with a sense of hope, despite the pain we may be in. We need not despair, for we know that our Higher Power's care will carry us through when we can't walk on our own.
Just for Today: I will rely on God's care through the painful times, knowing that my Higher Power will always be there.
Copyright (c) 2012, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved
Meeting the day's challenge
Page 153
"...The decision to ask for God's help is our greatest source of strength and courage."
Basic Text, p. 26
A challenge is anything that dares us to succeed. Things new and unfamiliar serve as challenges, whether those things appear good or bad to us. We are challenged by obstacles and opposition from within ourselves and from without. New and difficult things, obstacles and opposition, all are a part of "life on life's terms." Living clean means learning to meet challenges.
Many of us, consciously or unconsciously, took drugs to avoid meeting challenge. Many of us were equally afraid of failure and success. Each time we declined the day's challenge, we suffered a loss of self-esteem. Some of us used drugs to mask the shame we felt. Each time we did that, we became even less able to meet our challenges and more likely to use.
By working the NA program, we've found the tools we need to successfully meet any challenge. We've come to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, a Power that cares for our will and our lives. We've asked that Power to remove our character defects, those things that made our lives unmanageable. We've taken action to improve our conscious contact with that Higher Power. Through the steps, we've been given the ability to stop using drugs and start living.
Each day, we are faced with new challenges. And each day, through working our program of recovery, we are given the grace to meet those challenges.
Just for Today: I will ask my Higher Power to help me squarely meet today's challenge.
Just for today my thoughts will be on my next cycle.....hmmmmm...Speaking at a rehab this wed..gotta share the hope.No addict must die!
fun stuff man! love Hospitals and institutions work
Did H and I tuff for about 5 years.Spoke all over the place.Was the chair of the committee for awhile.My sponsee got this commitment so im speaking for him.
i was told about this thread by a friend, its good to know that we are ALL not alone.
Oh yea brother we all have demons in or closets. But its the angels out side that keep those fuckers in the closet.
The Power in the group
Page 152
"Our understanding of a Higher Power is up to us...We can call it the group, the program, or we can call it God."
Basic Text, p. 24
Many of us have a hard time with the idea of a Higher Power until we fully accept the depth of our own powerlessness over addiction. Once we do, most of us are at least willing to consider seeking the help of some Power greater than our disease. The first practical exposure many of us have to that kind of Power is in the NA group. Perhaps that's where we should start in developing our own understanding of God.
One evidence of the Power in the group is the unconditional love shown when NA members help one another without expectation of reward. The group's collective experience in recovery is itself a Power greater than our own, for the group has practical knowledge of what works and what doesn't And the fact that addicts keep coming to NA meetings, day after day, is a demonstration of the presence of a Higher Power, some attractive, caring force at work that helps addicts stay clean and grow.
All these things are evidence of a Power that can be found in NA groups. When we look around with an open mind, each of us will be able to identify other signs of that Power. It doesn't matter if we call it God, a Higher Power, or anything else-just as long as we find a way to incorporate that Power into our daily lives.
Just for Today: I will open my eyes and my mind to signs of a Power that exists in my NA group. I will call upon that Power to help me stay clean.
May 25, 2012
"Good" and "bad" feelings
Page 151
"A lot happens in one day, both negative and positive. If we do not take time to appreciate both, perhaps we will miss something that will help us grow."
IP No. 8, Just for Today
Most of us seem to unconsciously judge what happens in our lives each day as good or bad, success or failure. We tend to feel happy about the "good" and angry, frustrated, or guilty about the "bad." Good and bad feelings, though, often have little to do with what's truly good or bad for us. We may learn more from our failures than our successes, especially if failure has come from taking a risk.
Attaching value judgments to our emotional reactions ties us to our old ways of thinking. We can change the way we think about the incidents of everyday life, viewing them as opportunities for growth, not as good or bad. We can search for lessons rather than assigning value. When we do this, we learn something from each day. Our daily Tenth Step is an excellent tool for evaluating the day's events and learning from both success and failure.
Just for Today: I am offered an opportunity to apply the principles of recovery so that I will learn and grow. When I learn from life's events, I succeed.
Hey brother what book is this? Thinks for the inspiration to help me look forward to a positive day today.
this is the pages of Narcotics Anonymous "Just for today" book! Theres a reading for everyday of the year!
Thanks. Will look into it. We all have our own reasons for such quotes needed.
thanks man, i forgot to put yesterdays jft on here and almost forgot today im gald you are on top of things..i love this just for today it keeps my mind positive on growing from problems and not falling into old thinking and getting in the dumps. for example im in a financial bind right now but its just promoting better judgements and to stop spending money to make myself feel good that is addict behaivor..and it motivates me to keep on the steps cause im not on ten yet
Hey
Yea stinkin thinkin never got me anywhere good. This is kind of a tough weekend for many people to fall back as they may remember lost loved ones but others may fall back just because it's nice out and a long weekend...me, I was a very dedicated addict who felt anyday was a day to use!
I was just thinking about my past today and how Im back to the real me again and re-learning life on life's terms and all that AA lingo that seems to be true...go figure
Oh brother! I know what you are talking about with that dam spending money addict shit. Most people dont understand that thats a serious problem. I was there a time or two. I found a cool way to help with it. I opened up a ING acct and every time I felt like spending or just the urge. I would transfer money into the ING acct from checking and whats cool about curing this addiction is you slowly become addicted to saving money, just dont put your wife on it. I say this because my ex when she kidnapped my daughters she stole all of it. I have starting a new one since. Try it bro.
You know how when you buy a new car, then suddenly realize how many are driving your model of car...?
When at a party I always felt I had to drink to loosen up. I was timid meeting new people and mingling... I'd be that guy standing in the corner looking like he wasn't having a good time... Afraid I wouldn't have anything clever to say...
When I was on the fence about drinking (or doing drugs for that matter) I was worried about fitting in. Everyone drank and I felt I was going to be left out if I didn't drink too.
I'd say I was the designated driver (but you walked here didn't you) or I'd hold a non-alcoholic drink in my hand passing it off as a mixed drink. All the while wrestling my demons.
When I surrendered my old persona and said "fuck-it!" I'm going to be that guy who doesn't drink. Suddenly I realized there were a lot of non drinkers. My demons disappeared... And coming up with something clever to say, shit, I was the sharpest man in the room -what with everyone else being drunk and all.
It still amazes me how many clean and sober people there are, where as before, everyone seemed to be on something.
Hello all. Just got clued in to here by my buddy testaholic. I'm sober 2 1/2yrs but just for today I thank god I'm not alone anymore. Peace to you and yours.
What's up and welcome
I get that "oh yea I'm not alone" feeling a lot. It's like I get away from meetings for a week and get caught up with life then i feel kind of off and I hit a meeting...it's like fresh air and I remember that we're all fucked up sober people...And anybody who's in the program knows what i mean caus we r fucked up like that saying "I'm just another bozo on the bus."
Welcome Brave!!
Just hit 140 days from the opiates today. I have yet to check out NA. I go to outpatient groups 4 days a week and my counselor is really encouraging me to check out NA. Can anyone shed some light as to why it would be better than outpatient?
That shits like the boogyman bro.. Its lurking around every corner waiting for you to just get a wiff of it... Being around people alike will give the same feeling of security the very drug you were attached to, in a more positive way. These same people you connect with in a special way each can learn and watch out for each other.I have a book called "change your brain change your life" check it bro, pretty interesting stuff you didnt know about yourself.
testaholicYou get to meet like minded people bro! If it want for me meeting new sober peeps I probably would be high right now...and thats how I got my sponsor
Roids right brother..for me op was fine .....when i was left to be "markymark" again,alone....it got worse each time
It is imperative to get connected with members of the program with long term recovery! Out patient is good but its not gonna be there for ever, the sooner you assert yourself with the N/A community the safer you will be when transitioning out of out patient! Out patient also doesnt require a sponsor nor the 12 steps! which is the solution to getting,keeping, and remaining clean. Some do it by themselves but most will fail with out the true understanding of the disease of addiction, and how that disease has affected you, or even when it is talking to you! save your life brother and get connected!
testaholicx2 shits serious bro. Nice advice, didnt even read down before I commented...
I do hospitals and institutions or H and I, I tell addicts in out patient to RUN to an N/A meeting, sit in the front row so people know you are serious about your recovery, and when they ask if there is any new comers raise your hand and tell them you got how ever many days you got but you need a phone list and a sponsor and some help. I tell them to call the men on that phone list by the next day and tell them who you are and that you will call back tomorrow! Get fucking connected! If your serious about your recovery addicts will see this and you will never have to walk through anything alone!
8 years clean I think. I stopped counting. I was incarecerated for drug related offenses as well. Some drama shit really. The kind of charges that don't go away! Obviously there are a lot of us in here. Good move Roid Noid!
and good 4u Nitti
May 23, 2012
Amends and sponsors
Page 149
"We want to be free of our guilt, but we don't wish to do so at the expense of anyone else."
Basic Text, p. 40
Let's face it: Most of us left trails of destruction in our wakes and harmed anyone who got in our way. Some of the people we hurt most in our addiction were the people we loved most. In an effort to purge ourselves of the guilt we feel for what we've done, we may be tempted to share with our loved ones, in gruesome detail, things that are better left unsaid. Such disclosures could do much harm and may do little good.
The Ninth Step is not about easing our guilty consciences; it's about taking responsibility for the wrongs we've done. In working our Eighth and Ninth Steps, we should seek the guidance of our sponsor and amend our wrongs in a manner that won't cause us to owe more amends. We are not just seeking freedom from remorse-we are seeking freedom from our defects. We never again want to inflict harm on our loved ones. One way to insure that we do not is by working the Ninth Step responsibly, checking our motives, and discussing with our sponsor the particular amends we plan to make before we make them.
Just for Today: I wish to accept responsibility for my actions. Before making any amends, I will talk with my sponsor.
Direct amends are tough but I think they have to be done. Better to unburden ourselves because its hard enough without even more baggage cluttering up the attic.
I make amends daily if I fuck up or say/do something that I realized was wrong...after a while of doing this I started to act differently and learned to deal with life on life's terms. No longer do I feel the need to cut people off on the road or blow my horn for 5 minutes, I have become far more patient with persistence!
me too.10 step check yourself before you wreck urself.haha.
I am working on the road rage myself. I can tolerate a lot of things... but people with highbeams on in the city, going way under the speed limit and cutting me off still get to me. Though I won't honk the horn unless it is crucial or give the finger, I still curse a time or two in my car. As for amends, yeah they have to be done. I cannot change what I have done, but I can at least attempt to let the person I wronged know I acknowledge I fucked up and would like to make it up somehow if possible.
Yea I try to be patient but I have horriblee road rage..but I do try too make ammends daily the biggest thing for me is changing my life and showing people I have changed its not so much making appolagies.
I learned that it's not so much an apology as an agnolagement.
As far as just living a clean life and having others see this..well that is huge as well ad it's a great thing to just do YOU and others will sooner than later say things about you and see you in a positive light. Hopefully when that time comes you realize your still an addict and need to brush off the praise and just keep rolling.
Just for Today
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
"It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. ...But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal." - Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition, 1976, Ch 5, p 66
Just for today, I will understand and accept that resentments are both futile and unhappy and, by holding onto them, other words in the Big Book are gospel: " ...(H)arboring such (resentment), we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die." Because I cannot afford to empower anything so strongly that my sobriety and, subsequently, my life are imperiled, I will listen to my Higher Power for the Way to release to Him my resentments without taking them back. By holding onto and later taking back resentment, I must follow the Big Book's conclusion that I am still spiritually sick and that the sickness can magnify to trigger a slip or relapse. Today, I beg in sincerity and humility for the courage, strength, willingness and humility to release that which I cannot control. And our common journey continues. Just for today.
hope 2day is a good day for all....keep up the good work...remember your goals!!
SOMETIMES ....i need those little reminders(sorry dand06..i hear ya..) so i dont go back....when things are @ their best..when alls well..THATS the time i have to be xtra careful...
Well fuck. My past catches up with me again today. Had the chance to have a cushy government job for the summer... but this thing called a criminal record happened to eliminate me after I had beaten all other candidates for the job. What am I grateful for today... not being 6 feet under. Not having to do the same old shit I use too. But just a wee bit pissed off now.
Hey bro! depending on the severity and the length of time that has passed. You can have many, many crimes exsponged off your record. Even felony's I know first hand Bro! there is hope It just comes in the form of cash and patiance and the right attorney. Mine was $900 for the Attorney and done. It no longer shows.
When I moved to the US from the UK I was VERY surprised to hear about the ability to have certain crimes exsponged off you record. That is not the case in the UK & Europe. And from what I have been told, true or not I don't know, the exsponging of a crime from your record is a one time chance for only ONE crime on your record.
I.E: If you were charged and convicted with a D.U.I and at the time you were pulled over they found you in possession of some paraphernalia and you received another charge and sentence for it, you have to choose which ONE you want to have removed.
I may be wrong, but that's how I understood when it was explained to me.
Don't get me wrong, I STILL believe and FULLY support that, 'If You Do The Crime, You Do The Time'.
But when does the time get served?