I was in the same position as you, bro. I know some what of how you feel. I knew when I first met my wife that she was the one. We honestly never had any fights the whole 18 months we were engaged and I never questioned our relationship, until it came close to the time to say I do. But I knew she loved me and I loved her. Looking back now, I beleive the cold feet was due to my immature thinking like, Shes going to be my last poke, pardy is over and etc, but all of it was self-centered. The first year of married life I did what I wanted to do,and didn't include her in anything, thinking I made a mistake. Needless to say the reason for those feelings was, even though we loved one another, I was a child that was afraid to grow up and be a man. I'm so glad I married her because its better now than its ever been. Infact now we feel like there isn't any two people in the world that love each other than we do. Lessoned learned is that life is not over when you get married, It just changes a bit. Just don't eat the wedding cake and you'll be fine lol.

Remember the only way you can get a divorce is to get married. RUN

Shit man once you get married life as you know it is over. lol No more freedom and if she is controlling now just wait until you get hitched. That ball and chain will feel heavier than ever. For me I don't disagree with my wife and let her win every arguement we have, because I found out my life is alot better when I do this. Communication is huge and marriage is 100% compromise. My first year was really hard and I couldn't tell you how many times I wanted to throw the towel in. You just can't and have to try a little harder than if she was your girlfriend, sex partner or even someone you are dating. After 6 six years of marriage my wife and I couldn't be happier. I had cold feet too, but told myself fuck it this is something I need to do in my life and if things don't work out I will stay single a bang new broads all the time. Good Luck

Marriage is no different then anything else, you get out of it what you put into it. You should be able to communicate with her if your at the point of getting married so I would sit her down and talk to her about any concerns you have and tell her about some problems that you realize you have and are trying to work on, this way its not a "shes the problem". Then sit patiently while she tells you how she feels whether you like what you hear or not, it is very important to make her feel like she is safe to talk to you about anything, dont tell her how she should feel either there hers and shes entitled to them. If you dont feel that you can communication with her about these things then you should ask her to do some counseling with you because in a relationship if one person argues you both loose. if shes not willing to do any kind of counseling then call off the marriage and tell her the relationship needs more time to mature. I have been going to couples counseling for 3 years, and my relationship is beyond anything I ever thought possible.

Two words: "Yes Dear". But really. It's a 2 way street. You gotta give a little and take a little. reading your post your taking more than giving. Don't do thid because you think you have too. That will never work. There is nothing wrong with waiting.

if...IF...you have to think about "yes" its no

First my disclaimer: I will be the first to admit that marriage isn't for everyone. After 11 years of hell and several relationships this is a little bit of what I have learned.

How long have you been together and are there children involved? If so there is a lot more than just your heart on the line. I am not say marry for the kids sake in some instances it may be better to not be together for the kids sake. I think you could benefit from some counseling but not pills. One thing I can promise you....If you have problems in the relationship now they will be ten fold and forever in the marriage. Whats the rush you can still be together and take care of each other until your ready for marriage. Is this her idea or is it mutual? Maybe she has the same reservations as you. But if you cannot be honest about it now then you will hate each other later! Honesty has to be key (honesty in all things especially emotional honesty), and you should be able to be honest with her without fear of being hammered because you hurt her feelings and she shut down because she didn't like what you were saying. If that is the case she is not hearing what you are saying and that is not communication. Likewise you need to be open to the things she has to say and be willing to hear the things that may hurt. If she likes to flirt with other guys and you cannot handle that...that's OK! You have just established a boundary you cannot accept. By establishing these things up front in the relationship you will help strengthen your chances of success in marriage and more importantly you will establish what is right for you and maybe your kids.

P.S. If your on cycle or especially coming off you are not in the truest frame of minds. Your hormones are off and your decision making abilities may not be firing and your ability to cope with stress is greatly dismissed.

Pelon, my brother, if you ain't feelin' it, slam on the brakes man!

From what I can gather you don't sound like you're meshing very well. I would be putting on the brakes if I were you. I'm lucky enough to have a woman who is into the things im into, enjoys all the things I enjoy. We see eye to eye on most issues, and when we do have disagreements we don't let them get out of hand. Jealousy is non-existant. We are both flirtatious people and do it openly with the opposite sex. It's fun and it keeps things interesting. I wish I could elaborate but couples that play together, stay together. There is no complaints in the sex dept, attention, affection, nothing we can't talk about. I guess my point is, you should know when the other person is the one. You don't seem too sure. In fact it sounds like the opposite.

wow!!! wish i wouldnt of read all these posts...so depressed now!

Bro.....after talking to Grrrl, I would urge you to get some counseling and resolve the jealousy/insecurity issues-----I used to be TERRIBLE about that. Grrrl has guy friends that she talks to......sexts with. I've seen her on the dance floor grinding on guys that she just met 10 minutes before, and I can tell you right now that she has NEVER cheated on me. She LOVES to check guys out in porn flicks----doesn't bother me one bit------because every single morning, she STILL leaves me love notes, and tells me 20 times a day how much she loves me, and we have always had an open marriage with no jealousy at ALL. If I see a girl with a nice ass, I say..."Dayyyuuuuum...that girls got a great ass", and Grrrl simply laughs----I could fuck another girl if I wanted to....but the rule is I have to do it in front of Grrrl----haven't been able to pull that one off yet...lol.
The bottom line is we don't hide anything from each other----we have TRUST, and when you have trust, your bond is unbreakable........right now, YOU are the one that's broken, and you need to fix yourself, or you may as well put a divorce attorney on retainer right now, because you're going to need one at some point.
Learn to relax Bro, and be secure within yourself-----your bride will sense your confidence, and for a woman, confidence is a huge turn-on.
I'll leave you with an old proverb from the Bible::
Two bulls are standing at the top of a hill in a pasture, overlooking a group of cows. The young bull says to the old bull, "hey, lets run down and fuck a few of those cows". The old bull says.."How about we walk down and fuck them all".
Be the smart, old bull------not the stupid young one.

Also I'm a firm believer that after so much beef and bad times some damage can never be undone. If you find youself dislikeing her or loathing her for no apperent reason, or resenting things shes done in the past it may be hard for u guys to ever have a healthy relationship.