Dick selfie's
So today my wife's extended family held their little Christmas get together , right. Well a little back story. I usually try like hell to weasel out of these types of deals but after the last "get together" one of my wife's cousin's boyfriend friended her on FB and would periodically message her (weirdly but not enough to trip on). She thought it was weird and of course it got my attention. So today she really wanted me there to keep the weirdo at a distance. So I went.
We end up at the same table, (joy), the dude starts talking to me about basically my business and then leads to him saying " I have been refurbishing this old kerosene heater" blah, blah, here I will show you some pics of it. So being gracious I agree to look, he shows me the first one of it finished, ok, then starts scrolling through his pics, it was kind of quick at first but I could swear I just saw a dick pic, then wait, another one! This time he knows I saw it and kind of nervously laughed and mumbled something about "how'd that get there?" So now I am half in shock and half considering ripping his fucking head off. So I get up and walk away before it turns bloodbath.
It wouldn't have been so violence inducing if he wasn't already at creep status with me. But I am kind of proud of myself for not snapping. So my question is, are dick pics really something dudes are doing? Do chicks like getting these pics? WTF, I am perplexed.
Regardless I told my wife, "we get home you nuclear block that motherfucker". Pray to Odin our paths do not cross again..
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aw yr sweet Gear ....yah steve may not be single but if he is he will be a lucky guy to date meeeeee he he
Oh absolutely I agree. I've had the unfortunate encounter with an unkempt vagina or two, and I have always wondered how bad it must have been under it all if it was that bad on the surface! I honestly don't think genitalia was not meant to be pretty, that's just the way it is.
Don't get me wrong I love giving oral (immensely so) but it's not a fascination so much because of the pussy but because of the feelings I'm able to provide. It is more so the action that the item, if you get what I mean. And women have tons more beautiful parts than a pussy, no matter how well kept.
Speaking of lockers, the men's locker room is probably just as disgusting. They have no shame, and for every one guy who properly grooms there's at the very least ten of them that look like something out of a horror movie. Also, at least in the women's locker room you will never have the misfortune of having someone's meat stick slap you in the shoulder, without even so much as an apology.
OMG LMFAO!! that's so weird I seriously hope that has NEVER happened to you ...I can honestly say in my 25 years of lifting no women's breasts has ever touched me in the locker room nor has mine....I've had full on conversations with mine staring in their faces but touching would be creepy!!
Unfortunately I try to forget that moment ever happened, but it seems burned into my brain forever, left there to haunt me as I get older. I obviously was puzzled by what happened at the instant and gave the older gentleman a "Did that thing just assault my shoulder?!" Look, but he simply turned red, grabbed his Towel and went into the showers before my brain could muster some form of communication. It's not every day a stranger's dick caresses your shoulder, so I'm not sure what I wouldve even said had I had enough processing time.
i'm sitting at my desk laughing my ass off as my co-workers keep saying what? I do not believe that this happened to you but if it really did I don't know if I should say "sorry for your loss" or HAHAHAHA
Hey, believe it or don't believe it. All I know is I now wait to make sure that there is PLENTY of room to change before I dare open my locker. If a guy gets too close I address it right away and ask him to be patient. It's not something that really got me angry or upset. I was just completely grossed out! And not in a homophobic sort of way either, it's just an uncomfortable kind of feeling, like the one that makes the hair on your neck stand up.
I think the HAHAHAH is the more appropriate response. It's the one I usually get. That and EWWWWWWW
LOL LOL all I know is it gave me a great laugh and made my morning! so thanks I guess in a weird kinda "outta you're discomfort you brought me joy" kinda way
At least somebody profited from my anguish. You're welcome, now stop being weird at work before they fire you!
That was you? Sorry
At least you honed up to it. I'll have you know my shoulder hasn't felt the same since. It's actually less developed than my right shoulder because of the trauma.
i literally laughed out loud!!
GearofWarI gave my take on this a little further down but I see it as knowing what's in the gift before opening it on Christmas. Call me crazy but I love the pay off of "unwrapping" my prize after I win it. It's even exciting finding out for the 1st time what your panties look like and the type you prefer to wear
It is a sign he like's you....return the favor and hang it in your bathroom GEeZ people lack reciprocating common courtesy ;)
What a great idea will be like abstract art :-0
I doubt its the end of him. He sounds like a pervert. Stay on guard. He will be back around. Good way to handle the situation.
I would have used the old standard reply "Whoa,that looked like a dick......only smaller!"
lmfao! i gotta use that one! tks
Is that worse than:
"You got a huge cunt?"
Lol....funny...good one!!
Ask any woman who has ever been on a dating site....or has texted with a guy that she just met, and she will tell you how common it is to get unsolicited dick shots.
If you're a guy, and you think that sending a pic of your errect penis is going to impress her, you're sadly mistaken....not to mention a complete idiot, and possible sex offender. I don't care if youre hung like an Asian Elephant, if you're relying on whats between your front pockets to win a girl, then you have nothing between your ears.
I hate to say it, but I've had several girls complain about the amount of dick pics they get, then get mad I won't send one. I don't even wanna take a selfie. Lol.
On a side note, refusing to has worked out pretty well.
Hey man if you got one sport it just make sure it is a "Classy" Cock shot put a wine glass and a rose by it works like a charm...
Yep....because it makes you look like a decent guy.
I couldn't agree with you more bro. I honestly shouldn't even let it bother me but I would be lying if I said it didn't. Maybe it is the tren? lol, I don't know. I know it goes on and all that but I am still totally perplexed by it.
The only exception for me is like what Rusty and his lady do, that is all good and between a committed couple. Even this dude for all I know was only sending them to his lady, but I doubt it. And regardless of that,before you throw your phone down in front of somebody you best make sure you have cleaned up anything like that. Otherwise you risk getting stomped by a raging gorilla.
100% agreed.
LOL Great quote!
well judging by your reaction the dude was packin some heat in those pics and it ruffled your feathers LOL because had he been small you would of included that in your forum topic along with "Me and my wife laughed for hours" instead you locked the door and buttoned down the hatches for "whale Dick" Bro LMAO.....anyways I would of beat the shit out of the guy if I had an inclination he was trying to hit on my wife in front of me.Good Job handling it like a man
'Battern down the hatches for whale dick' what an all time classic. That comment made my day, the imagery was brilliant.
I send my girlfriend of over 3 years photos of my todger all the time, it's a laugh.
Bicep photos to bros however are serious business.
I am glad you got a laugh I know I did...I too have sent photos to the wife I have become an angle magician the camera always adds an inch or two hen done right LMAO
Haha, I send photos I get off google imagines. It's been so long she doesn't realise they're not snaps of my tallywacker.
I do the same thing with the wife when I know she's shopping or out somewhere. Every once in a while you gotta throw a picture of a black one in there to make sure she's still paying attention lol
I'm doing that tomorrow!
Sneaky bastard I got to try that one test my wife's memory
Camera tricks, lol. He was wise enough to not go anywhere near her while I was around. But again, like any creeper he figured he would make small talk with me (the threat) and likely keep moving forward with his game. I think he knew the game was over when he realized I for sure know what I just saw. The rest of the afternoon he didn't even look over my way again. If it were anywhere besides in from of my wife's aunts , uncles , parents and cousins I would have mentally green lighted his ass.
Your a better man than I,The table would have been flipped and dinner ruined if it was me LoL....Some people get off on things like that Kind of like a virtual flasher
I should add these people all already think I am violent anyway. About 12-15 years ago a dude her aunt was married to who only weighed a buck o five soaking wet decided to step to me. I was kind of laughing at the dude which precipitated the incident but no worries I am not a monster. I just gave him a two handed push when he put his cigarette right in my face that launched him a good 10 feet through the air lol. Then the dude started crying! WTF
Lmfao lol whale dick better button down the hatches lmfao
Iron_MonkEh...break his nose. Hes obviously not into your wife, but he did in fact show you his dick. He wants to refurbish your heater or something bro?
Kill him!
RustyhookerHe was throwing his pickup line . Lol! Oh no....lol
GearofWarDude, being recently single and hitting up the internet dating scene(I'm actually writing a post for OT as we speak about that shit) the dick pic is very much so alive and well. BUT, the ladies fucking hate them. Every single broad I've met so far has said how gross they are and how they are a turn-off. They're for idiotic creepers that couldn't get ass off a toilet seat my kind sir. Trust me there. Sorry in advance to Grrll or any other female member about to read this- no disrespect intended, but every lady I've smashed so far has never gotten a picture of my penis. I know how to be a gentleman I suppose and men don't understand that women are sketched out by indecent exposure whereas men love and enjoy random vag shots. It's like the old Chester the Molester cartoons in Hustler mag. A dirty perv opening his virtual trench coat. So do yourselves a favor men: next time you're about to send that honey on Plenty of Fish a cock shot, remember that women hate em. With a passion. Sure fire way to cock block yourself. Hear what I'm hollering?
Id have to disagree. If you do it in a creepy way then yes they'll hate it. But if they are into you and want to see what you got before fucking then they are okay with it. And when you are packing heat then it drives them wild.
GearofWarAh I see! I'm not packing the heat so I suppose that'd be the problem ha ha! I just view it like this: Would you want to know what all of your Christmas/Chanukah/Birthday gifts were before unwrapping them all? Not me. I like the mystery. I love the thrill of the chase and the challenge of the conquest. If it's too easy then it's not as fun IMO.
As a kid i tried opening all my gifts before hand. And yes i do want to know whats going on underneath bc if a womens features are out of whack then id feel worse kicking them out of my house than just stop talking to them. And yes the chase is nice but there's a fine line.
Funny story for my past (before I met my wife).
I was banging some girl who has a bf, and he had a suspicion because me and her had a back and forth history that wasn't exactly a secret. So I was at her apartment one day, and she was talking about how he was talking shit to her that he was gonna kick my ass blah blah blah. So after a bit, we fuck and then she goes to get ready for work. I'm playing around on her computer, when a brilliant idea hit me. I take a dick selfie, email it to myself, log on to my email from her computer and then save the pic as her desktop image. Then I power the computer off and we both leave after she finishes getting ready.
Fast forward to the next day. Her BF is at her house, and apparently she hasn't used the computer since I turn it off. He powers it up and BOOM there's my big ass dick in all it's glory filling up his GFs desktop lol...needless to say, his suspicions are confirmed, they break up and I get one of the biggest laughs of my lifetime with a hilarious story to tell....
Now that is hilarious! Not for him tho of course, lol
I know right....shit if that was me I would have snapped but being I'm on this side of the fence it was hilarious for me lol
RustyhookerIs this a "Carlos Danger" type of thing?
Lol! Yes, there's a game me n my lady play back n forth with those types of pix. I'll send em while she's in line at store or meeting. Lol
GearofWarThis is exactly the type of situation a dick pic is meant for. As a way to spice up or have fun whilst in an ESTABLISHED and healthy relationship. NOT a new or potential relationship.
RustyhookerAgree. Get the ok first. Then have funny.