posted Sat, 08/18/2012 - 17:36
11307
A Joke
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A drunken farmer stumbles upstairs to his bedroom waking his wife... She sits up and sees her husband holding a sheep up under his arm... The farmer says "this is the pig I've been F'n"... His wife says "You drunk bastarde thats not a pig it's a sheep". Farmer says "Shut the F' up I was talkin to the sheep"
C'mon we all got em' we all love em'... So I am askin you, put down a joke... Make me laugh damnit!!!! Now!
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CleyonLOL, I thought this was the type of joke I was supposed to provide. Alright, I'll give a man-hater joke.
What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a Pitbull? Lipstick
How do you get ur pitbull to wear the lipstick?
CleyonAnd the pitbull is more rational and less dangerous. ;-P
Tooooo true... I couldn't agree more ;)
How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
CleyonIt works too! I've gone down three pant sizes!
CleyonThe missus asked if she pleased me in bed.
I said "yes, I love that trick you do with your mouth."
"What trick?" she asked?
"The one where you shut up & go to sleep!"
CleyonWhy is it whenever you see a slim blonde eating a banana you think of a porn film,
but when you see a big fat woman eating a banana you think of the discovery channel?
CleyonThe wife has been missing a week now.
Police said to prepare for the worst.
So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
CleyonMan calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead"
The operator says how do you know?
He says "The sex is the same but the dishes are piling up!
looool...love it!! ;)
CleyonWhat's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?
One's a superhero and the other is an instruction
Nice...lol
CleyonOne day a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very
sexy nightie.
"Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
So, he tied her up and went fishing!
CleyonHow do we know the world is ruled by women?
Because if it was ruled by men, Valentines day would be on Frebruary the 29th
How can you tell when a man is well hung?
When you can just barely slip your finger between his neck and the noose.
CleyonSorry I will not be tricked into telling jokes about murdering women... That's ED's territory.
What do you call a handcuffed man? Trustworthy.
CleyonWhat do you call a woman with a college degree?
It doesn't matter She won't be listening anyway.
Haha
Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
CleyonLOLOLOL That one's funny!
Men-tal Anxiety. . . Men-opause. . . Men-tal Breakdown
Ever noticed that all problems start with MEN?
Supernova283What is six inches long, two inches wide and women can't seem to get enough of? Money.
CleyonWhy do women have such a hard time with depth perception? Nova keeps telling them he's eight inches!
Supernova283Women have no idea how to measure with their eyes. One of the few advantages of being short and small. My dick looks much bigger than it actually is.
tread-mWhy does cleyon have issues with social anxiety? CUZ HE KEEPS FUGGIN UP MY REPLIES! NOOKA WHAAAAT
CleyonLOL, Sorry Silverback, didn't mean to comment block you!
tread-mLolol..you know I have to give my playa a hard time once a day at least! You can block anything of mine you want brother, wait...that didn't come out right. I want to invoke the no homo clause at this point and I will also use my 5th ammendment and I would like to phone a friend please.
CleyonNooka say what! No prob big dog, I just let the bog dog bark when he needs to.
tread-mYou can't run with the big dogs if you bark like a puppy right? We're the top of the food chain brother, we do as we pleazzze!
CleyonI pity the knucklehead that tries to come up in this house and make some noise! Woof!
tread-mThought you were about to expose Tread and then I saw it said 6 and not 8...whew, WHAT NOW!
Supernova283What's the best part of a blowjob? She can't talk during it.
Supernova283How do you turn a fox into a hippo? You put a wedding ring on it.
What's a man's definition of a romantic evening? Sex.
tread-mYou had me at "what's"....
she lost me at romantic (i was fading away at definition though)
Haha!!
she lost me at romantic (i was fading away at definition though)
This is crazy... Are you reading my thoughts?
Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions!!!
Guilty as charged :(
Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?
CleyonThat's done low hanging fruit! Aim higher, you're better than that.
Take it like a man
CleyonYea ma'am
Why don't men have mid-life crises?
They stay stuck in adolescence.