posted Tue, 01/13/2015 - 08:54
3087
Dumping my gf .... Advice ?
ad
I've been dating my gf for about 1.5 years and
Just feel like it's going nowhere , she has a
7 yr old son who annoys the shit out me , but
Otherwise she's cool , just feel like it's a dead
End street .
Advice on ending it , not one for confrontation but texting her a break up letter seems so
Freaking cruel -
How have you guys did the dumping or how
Were you dumped ?
Thanks
Yardley
- Bookmark
- 0
- 0
Hitman187If she's nice looking, has a good personality, and isn't crazy ill take her off your hands for ya lol
Please do not text her. She will have more respect for you if you sit down with her and discuss your issues and why it isn't working. When women get a text break-up they put you on blast to all.....
if you dont live with her, take her to a cafe and tell her it is over simple and then dont melt bro when she is crying
AnonOnly advice is dont post pone this any further than you have life robber..thats how she will see you eventually. .mite aswell get you accustomed!
Horrible situation when a kids involved..youre cool with her and not the kid..should of thought of that before you stuck it in..ive done the same thing..dont think im on any high horse..its all a mess bruv..need to talk it out with her till the end..gonna be a mess and if shes totally in love with you- fark
Get out while you still can, bro trust me if you EVER have bad feelings about a relationship LEAVE immediately while you still can with no strings attached...
Good thread and questions. Just so happens to be an area of expertise. I'm sure you don't want to go in guns blazing, be a complete ass hole and break her heart. But my friend you have a few simple options that can help you out.
1) ask her where she thinks the relationship is going. If she doesn't think it's going anywhere either you just saved yourself a big of hassle. Or she will tell you how in love she is with you, which you must give your response. Tell her that you are not sure about everything, and want to take a few days off to focus on yourself and figure things out. She will try and text you and call you during this time and it's imperative not to answer. After a few days tell her that you want to be friends only and never speak to her again.
2) Simply ignore her for a week or so. Go out with your friends and avoid contact with her. When eventually asked what's up tell her that you have cold feet and need a break. Then never get together again.
3) Tell her how you feel. Talk to her about the child and how you are not ready to be a father. Tell her things moved too fast and you got in over your head and you are not ready to pursue things any further.
4) Or you could be a huge dick, tell her there is another woman, tell her she has issues, that you don't like her child, or that you just don't care for her.
Hope this helps, good luck and let me know if you have any other questions.
3) isn't cool. We don't know how stable this woman is , no need to throw the kid under the bus and risk causing any resentment by his mother towards him. Don't do it.
Agreed, not the best option. But break ups are never easy, people get hurt and the last thing you want is any excess psychotic drama thrown in. I'd stick to number 1, and avoid 4 at all costs.
If you still live by yourself and did not move in with her/she moved in with you then this is a no brainer. If you guys live together you better be nice or end it mutually. Plus this will be better for the poor child because it seems if you stick around that poor kid will suffer the most due to your inability to be a father figure to a kid that is not your own.
I would be up front, I would say. I love you but your son is annoying the fuck out if me, I feel like this relationship is going no where
Note to everyone, I'm a father of two. One is 8 so I know exactly what you mean by annoying.
It's hard to deal with your kids but dealing with another mans child is a different ball game
Downthehole78Or you could just go out with her get her drunk get pissed off for the next few days don't take her phone calls then when she asks you what's wrong tell her that night she was calling you her ex's name all night .. Puts the blame on her makes her feel like shit your out Scott free
Just saw this now but the one part that really stood out for me was your "7 year old son annoys the shit out of you." Brother, this is a CHILD. Leave her so that she can find someone better than you. I hate people that date people with kids and then treat the kid like crap and gets upset that the kid is the priority. You should have dated someone WITHOUT kids if you couldn't take being a step dad for the kid. You knew about the kid prior to dating her I'm assuming and even if not just do her a favor and leave her.
This isn't entirely fair. First few months you might think you're up to the task + the pussy is good and new so you're willing to put up with more. Then things get routine, you end up taking the kid to soccer practice, school whatever and you start thinking what the fuck I'm only 26 why am I doing this? It's easier if the kid is chill, but a 7 year old with no dad has a good chance of being a monster. No need to fault the guy for figuring this out, bet he won't go for a single mom again. Lesson learned bro.
Naw there's a difference between figuring out being a step parent isn't for you and annoys the shit out of you. I've never wanted my own kids and to be honest I'm not the biggest fan of some kids. But my man has 2, 16 & 6. And I love them as much as I love him. I knew if either the kids didn't like me or I didn't like them there's no point in continuing the relationship. I met the little man roughly 6 months ago and if I couldn't the tantrums, energy or just all around 6 year old behavior I would have left. Man up tell her your not up for the responsibility and stop stringing them both on.
That stood out to me also. Especially the fact that they've been together 1.5yrs. If the 7yr old was his and she said your kids a pain in the ass then what? I have a 3yr old and can admit ALL CHILDREN are a pain (wouldn't say annoying) once in a while. I'm sure none of us were a joy to be around at that age. And if her child was an issue, why would you string her along for almost 2yrs...kids don't grow up that fast
Just seen the Op's age. You were 25 when you started dating so the kid was 5. Were you really ready to be a father figure in someone's life?
One in a half years is a fair amount of time. You should know her by now and should know if she in the same boat as far as feelings go. If you can't stand her kid end it yesterday her son isn't going anywhere. My advice go somewhere public. She'll react one of two ways. Control herself because she doesn't want to make a scene and that will make things easier or she'll be a complete psycho and yell and scream and be all dramatic.
Oh and make sure you get all your stuff out of her place BEFORE you break up I made that mistake and my bitch ass ex broke a $3k TV on top of never returning boxes of sentimental items.
Not sure how to do it but if you are thinking this then you have to do it. And be careful having sex with her If you get her preggo brother your stuck with her for the lo.g haul. Not sure if she's vindictive but most women are so good luck
Have a wank, go see her, tell her the bad news and that you still would like to be friends long term (this makes you look less like a user in their eyes) and make sure to leave early before you get your sex drive back.
If you're on caber, test, tren or any other type of steroid you may want to repeat phase one 5+ times.
I find women have no boundaries when it comes it men and if you're anything like me sex is a huge weakness.
You bloody savage!
Just sharing my experiences homie ;)
Tell her your wife thinks it's time.
Ok, this is how you handle it. Invite her over to your house and pretend to have a romantic dinner prepared for her.
Once she gets there, blind fold her and hand her an envelope with a note in it that says simply "you just got kicked to the curb"
Act like you are being all romantic and walk her outside and about 5 feet away from the curb and gutter have her face away from your house while holding the letter and blind folded. Then give her a good swift kick in the ass and sprint back into your house.
It will take a few seconds for her to remove the blind fold and open the letter. By this time you should be in your house. Make sure you lock all the doors and don't answer the door or your phone if she calls. It won't take long before she realizes it's over and you are a free man.
Hope thAt helps
All my love, no homo
Ed
Ps don't forget to give the time and addy so ed can snatch her up in the eriods van.
Ed you are a true romantic! LOL
Yeah, I figure if you are going to dump a chick you might as well make it enjoyable for you.
Your logic is infallible!
LMFAO jesus ed , I saw you comment and figured this will be a chuckle , all I can say is well done.
I can't count the number of times that I've kicked the ass some some poor Un-suspecting blindfolded soon-to-be ex gf.
If you're unhappy, she's unhappy. Probably wondering how to tell you the same thing.
Whatever you do, do not break up during a fight. Feel her out, ask her how she feels the relationship is going. then be honest when she asks you back.
You should tell her. Just come out and say your not happy. And you havent been happy in awhile. She might say she will change or she will say dont let the door hit ya.
Or you can just slowly hangout less and less
Always make yourself look busy. I guess thats my way
Just tell her you want to see other people.
thetdog623837lol that will go down well
Tell her straight up. She's a big girl, she can handle it.
Don't settle if your already feeling like this after that short of time then u are wasting your time imo. If your goals are to meet a women have a family someday then move on and don't waste your life bro life's to short to settle or not to live it to its fullest.
X2 hell yea never settle especially if theres baggage
That's the truth.
Ya I made so many mistakes in my life I have a lot of regrets. Life short got to get the most out of it
Needs to be the right time and place.. you will feel it.
Text is weak, Has to be face to face imo. Whatever you decide, stick to it because if you go back you'll never escape.
Downthehole78Meet her do it in person and man up
Dam this is very hard but just be honest with her and tell her u want her to be happy but tell her u need to move on she's guna cry and tell u to work it out but stay firm man I had break up not long ago and I had to stay firm also after u break up make sure to ignore her or else ur guna get Sucked back in cuz women love brining up memories trying to get some emotion out of u and wam they have u again good luck man but this will not be easy if u want to get rid of her faster just tell her u been cheating lol jk
Yea, texting her something like that would be complete chickenshit. You have been with this woman for a year and a half I think you know she deserves better than that. If you aren't happy you just need to tell her.