posted Sat, 11/30/2013 - 10:17
2162
Self Centered
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I seem to be having these major eye opening experiences these days. It just just becoming painfully obvious just how self centered I really am.
Has anyone had any major success in getting over this ugly quality? If so did it seem forced in the beginning and slowly shifted towards a healthy psyche?
Thanks
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Self-awareness is the cure for all piece-of-shit related self-image diseases. Sounds like you are ahead of the game homey. (never had that many compound words in one sentence before
Sometimes called "getting older", its what separates the men from the boys. You either figure out how to be better and overcome your own shortcomings or you fucking die a friendless asshole.
PS reading below it seems like self-awareness is the common theme. you are on the right track homey.
Being self centered at best can only be put into remission not cured. When I was younger I remember seeing profoundly my self centered actions so I went to work immediately trying to cure it. Of course it was my pride driving the mission because I couldn't stand the idea of being so petty and weak. Ironically after I started a over hall of focusing on others and their needs/desires I thought I had a good grip on at least suppressing this ugly disease. Then I realized I exchanged it for a new disease it was that of self righteousness clearly believing others who were not more sacrificial like "I was," in my own eyes being pieces of shit.
So I came to the conclusion the benefit of having self centered actions is this, it always brings me to the reality that I am not close to perfect as I wish therefore the humility is good. The benefit of self righteousness...well there is none imo because now in your mind you are better than all all the time. Therefore delusional and led by pride. So my friend use your intuitiveness to give you balance more than an out right disgust for yourself who you will begin to feel shame and self pity which leads to nothing beneficial.
BigBmajIt's so fucking ugly bro. I despise it. Then I catch myself still around here doing nothing more than talk about myself and MY problems. And I agree when I try to be more helpful and caring I catch myself becoming more self righteous and that's equally disgusting. As if I can do any better? I may know what sounds better but I sure as hell can't do it.
Oh well no sense sitting here kicking myself as you say.
the first step in changing something is self awareness... if you are unaware then you are unable to examine it. if you move through life as if you are asleep then you see nothing ... you change nothing .. better that you see it and hate it .. when you become uncomfortable enough then you may do something to change it. or not.
I love how you put it....well said!
BigBmaj"Discontent is the first step in the progress of a man or nation."
Oscar Wilde
Anonsometimes i feel that way too
I just try helping others to help block that out my head
BigBmajI think most of us feel that way sometimes. Let's face it, the vast majority of us are out for ourselves primarily. I don't necessarily think that is bad thing. But it is bad when you do things at the expense of your family and friends. Or not even factoring other people's needs when making decisions. It's fine to do that if you have a life conducive to that sort of thing, otherwise it's just being a selfish prick.
You self centered piece of....haha jk homie, you have helped me tremendously is many aspects of my life personally! You dont know me from atom,but you still lend a hand and occasion phone call.
If you were so self centered you wouldn't have spend madd hours messaging me bodybuilding and nutrition info. No body will love you more than you and push you as much as yourself. Am i saying walk around like a cocky pig and treat people rude no, become narcissistic and push priority's away to put your own selfish needs first NO.
What I am saying is we have so many people to push us down already, that unless you have a certain degree of self centered-ness you will never live to your full potential! Its in our Dna as humans to put ourselves first, psychology101.
Take it easy on yourself, forgive yourself and journey on! Oh haha and..........
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FadN7sjekPE&feature=youtube_gdata_player
I think it's something we all go through at different phases of our lives. It's natural. It's human. As is the other end of the spectrum ,..consideration , empathy and compassion for others. It's the ying yang bro. We all suffer from the human condition. I'm not perfect , you're not perfect. Nobody on this planet is. But you are a step ahead of the game. You're self aware. You not only recognize your shortcomings but you highlight them and show a willingness to change them. Pretty solid quality to me. Over shadows your self centered tendencies any day.
BigBmajThanks for that. People here are so great. I appreciate all of the support I feel around here.
I hope that someone reading this thread can go the extra mile today and make someone feel special in their life. Don't wait until it's too late.
Having a family quickly forced me over that hump. Before that I spent most of my life making selfish decisions, I did find the harder I was on myself the more confused and mind fucked I felt. So maybe take it easy on yourself for now, at least you realise change must come.
BigBmajThanks man great advice. Sitting here thinking about MYSELF isn't really getting me where I want to go.
Hope you figure out what you got to do mate! Sure as fuck ain't easy.
yeah i have to agree with that bazzy... my twin girls were born when i was only 21 so that kicked me into the world of not being able to be selfish any longer.... just last weekend we had all the family stay over due it it being my sons 26th birthday and i just get stuck in and do all the cooking and serving etc... we even took the latest grandson who is only 11mths old to sleep in our bedroom so that his mum and dad could have a break and a full night sleep for a change lol.
Doing stuff like this is so so different from my normal days of dealing with and training ego maniac muscle heads, and it sort of brings me back down to earth with a bump to realise what the real important stuff is................. OK enough fkn soft talk from me, its back to business kickin ass and helping people make their dreams reality... when they fkn listen and implement my techniques that is!!!!!..... LMAO!
Best reply I've ever read from you... a glimpse into the human side.. :-)
BigBmajI felt the same way. I couldn't even believe I was reading that from Vike.
GearofWarTell your boy that I hope he knows how lucky he is to have a Dad like you around that can and more importantly WILL help out with his kids. There are so many people I've met and known in life that take that type of stuff for granted and eventually end up using and abusing the kindness that friends and family extend. I've got NO ONE to take my daughters so the wife and I could have even the shortest of reprieves from taking care of our kids. Then there are the people(cunts) that think it's okay to make a baby and treat it like an accessory, like a fucking Louis Vuitton handbag. They dump their kids off at a grandparents house any chance they get. That shit fries my ass, so badly. Partly because they have no idea what it means to be a parent and partly because the pieces of shit aren't ever thankful or grateful for the help from Mom and/or Dad. Can't ever afford day care or a baby sitter so they're with us 24/7. When you've got a 4.5 and 2.5 year old to look after everyday you never have time to think about yourself. So yeah, there's that. And Vike, I need some advice can I message you?
of course brother..... send me some in depth shit then i can get my head properly around your problem ok
Perfect example there cooking, serving and making sure everyone is good etc to the self centred ego stroking bayzy that couldn't have been further from what I wanted out of life. In fact it's so raw in my mind at times I still can't believe I get so much out of actually doing those things now.
Without sounding too much like a hippie muthafucka, to all the nay sayers, those type of selfless things (doesn't have to be down to having a family, just happened that way for me personally) do really add up and can be good for the soul.
BigBmajYeah it has almost already cost me my family. My wife separated from me and I don't exactly know the living arrangements yet so I'm not sure about even seeing my son.
But on the positive side it all brought me to this realization. So now I can build anew and not wreak everything in the process.
Thanks for the advice.
waltrjust start doing 1 thing for somebody else every day and work from there
BigBmajGood idea.