Relationship Advice
WARNING I've got low testosterone these days and I'm emotional as hell
I'm always going through some emotional crisis or another. I'm past caring how i look to people. I USE this place, to help me heal. I like to discuss things, I have to air things out. You guys have always given me such good advice in the past. So here we go with the problem de la journée - Marriage.
I've been in a relationship with my wife for 8 years, we've been married for 5. In the beginning she was madly in love with me, and I was aloof. When she got pregnant, and I felt like getting married was the right thing to do, but my heart just wasn't in it. I was not a good spouse by any stretch of the imagination. I pushed her away from me for at least 6 years. Our relationship ebbed between being great friends to just being roommates. I always loved her but much more like a great friend. I was never super attracted to her, she gained close to 100 lbs when she got pregnant and kept if for a long time. I hope some of you can relate to loving someone but not wanting to be romantically involved.
So fast forward to now. My heart is wide open and I'm not used to it. I'm madly in love with her. I feel like it's the beginning of a relationship where I can't wait to see her every day. My heart even starts to pound when she's around. She is looking so sexy, her outsides finally match her insides. She's got the body, job, and passion that I knew she could have. She is just shining so bright. And she's continuing to grow daily, it's great to watch. But the one thing she isn't passionate about is me. I pushed her away for so long she closed down.
I have always protected my heart. I got hurt a few times when I was growing up and I vowed to not let it happen again. But it's happening. I'm wanting to get close but I'm feeling her hesitation. It's almost like our roles have completely reversed. Now I sense she is the one that doesn't want to be married. Of coarse we talk about these things and I said "do you want to be married?" She will say something along the lines of "I'm not sure" or "I think so". She said she wishes she felt like she did in the beginning. I think she wants to be married because it's just so convenient for her. I pay the bills, clean the house, take great care of my son, and she gets to do what she wants. I feel like I hardly even see her.
So I'm at a total loss here. I need to have a loving passionate relationship. I've never felt this way before but I know this is something I want. But I don't know how to approach these things.
Do I just keep being this new person and hope she realizes I'm serious and she comes around. It's been about 4 months of this "new" me? Do I give it time, that seems to be what she's thinking? She said it's not just like a switch, because I happen to want it now. It's just so hard to feel like I'm being pushed away.
Do I step back and protect myself, we have a great friendship and a son together. This is a great foundation for most marriages. Just reset my new expectations?
She's not someone who likes to talk about stuff like I do. That's why I'm so lucky to have you people. Maybe we should go see a marriage counsellor? I haven't had much luck with this in the past, but it's a totally new era.
Do I find some new friends so I can get some of my emotional needs met through others? I never felt like I needed people before, but now it's clear that I do.
This is all so new to me and I have no clue how to approach this stuff. It was so easy when I was totally juiced out or high and didn't give a shit.
Thanks guys. I can't believe I even just posted that, I don't even recognize this person.
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Don't know if it's your emotions talking or yourself. But mate, it sounds like she's the one. Just go and grab her back, make her see the guy she fell in love with. If she loves you as much as you love her, given time, she will see what she once had.
It's happened to me. But over a shorter period of time. I met a girl and when I first met her I was, wow. Fuck me. In every way that provocative sentence is strung, is how I felt. She was madly in love me and I pushed her away, because I wanted more and she got depressed and I kept on at her until she broke. I've spent the last year (no joke) talking to this girl, I haven't slept with anyone else, not once this year, I haven't had a relationship of any kind. Trying to win her back. And week by week, one conversation after another I'm building her trust back up in her. Now I'm at the point where she's actually connecting with me and I'm getting more than 3 kisses at the end of a text message, every guy knows 1 kiss doesn't mean shit. My mum gives me one kiss in a text message, hell, my dad has done the same when he's been drunk. But three kisses, that to a girl means something. She's sending me pictures of her every other day. She will randomly message me out of the blue.
Keep on at her man. Don't let go. Because if you do, it could be the biggest mistake of your life. Let her know your there, and you want to sort the past out and put it behind you. And slowly build the relationship, like you'd build your body, brick by brick. Take the rough with the tumble. Have patience. And she will come back.
Have faith. You sound like a decent guy who just made a few mistakes. Who cares whether you saw or see her as a friend sometimes, that's a good thing. As long as their is chemistry there, love and attraction (sexually, mentally, physically) that's all that counts. You've got friendship + love + baby.
I'm still waiting for my woman bro, but I'm months away now. I can feel it. All that hard work, commitment, loyalty and being there for her has paid off. I made a promise I'd be different, she realised she has to be different and only time now fix this. So I'm bring patient and trusting. All I can do.
If she needs time, give her time. Ya know what to do, throw in the occasional loving message. Make her feel special and cared for.
Man, get stuck back in there and save your marriage for you, your woman and your child!
I hope I've related to you, I'm not married. Won't be for a while, a few years behind you bro but that's how I feel and surely, there's some similarities down the line, it must happen to other guys, not just myself, that's what I thought and it's obviously true. We just get silly sometimes don't we lol and make dick head mistakes
BigBmajGood luck to your brother. Patience is key in these things.
BigBmajI could not take how I was feeling any longer. I took 12.5 mg aromasin and 200 mg of test cyp last night. My emotions straightened out just like flipping a switch. I cannot believe the difference. It's so hard to know what's going on, there are so many variables in this juice game.
So you just broke your PCT?
BigBmajNo I am doing TRT. 200 mg a week. I may adjust this level depending on how the blood work comes back today. I will find a level that makes me feel good.
I just didn't think I needed to take any anti estrogen with such a low dose but I must have had some major rebound issues. I certainly wasn't feeling normal.
Good for you. At 36 I wouldn't worry about it. My TRT dose that I take will do less if any damage compared to any blast cycle. Smart move doing what you have to to stabilize your mind especially with your immediate responsibilities.
Wow I stumbled across this and I share alot of similarities with you with my marriage
Currently . I dropped my guard and let her know how crazy I was about her after a long time of not really feeling that way and the reaction I got from her was similar to yours. She doesn't believe me and I may have done to much damage . I almost feel like she wants to pay me back and make me suffer . This is incredibly frustrating to me because I think I'm willing to be who she always wanted me to be and if she would just be who she always was I think we could be really happy but she sees the upper hand and wants to punish me or something .our roles have completely reversed and I really don'tikw putting myself out there when it gets thrown back in my face but at the same time I keep trying cause I want us to be happy. Good luck brother ,if you find the answer tell me! Lol
BigBmajHave you tested your estrogen? I'm not kidding when I ask this.
Also you need to show her for awhile how you are feeling. Don't just tell her, show her. She's obviously guarded and needs to make sure you are being serious. She is giving you a taste of your own medicine. I'd you think it's worth it, then just have patience to slowly work things out. I do think lots of these people are right, women don't like to see clinging. Balance your care for her with your own strong independence. If she senses you are suffering it may be a passive aggressive thing she actually doing.
BigBmajWe are having a much needed weekend together. We have been able to have fun like we hadn't in a long time. I took the two beds thing too seriously, I snore like crazy and she knew she would need to sleep. So we were together all night but when she couldn't sleep she got up and moved. So she wouldn't be bitchy all the next day.
We needed to talk and I think we are on the same page. She just isn't used to the me that wants to be with her. I hurt her for so long. She apologized for pushing me to get married when she knew I wasn't ready. She said she was just grasping because she wanted so badly to be with me. But the years of me pushing away took their toll on her. And out of necessity she withdrew. She likes this me giving her attention but she isn't sure it's real yet and she can't afford to be let down again. And just because I feel like I need her now she's not ready to have sex 5 times a day. Especially after I made her feel so unattractive for so long. She thinks I'm beautiful and she loves to see all the attention I get and the comments from her friends but that's not what attracted her to me. She was attracted to my fun self and the honesty and openness that I express. That person was lost with the super inflated ego guy that got all tested out and didn't give a fuck about anything but his body.
And I apologized for all the terrible shit I put her through. Especially when she was pregnant and I left for awhile saying I needed to be with other women before I settled down. That really hurt her badly and I never said i was sorry.
So we need to just have some fun and i don't have to be so serious all the time. I need to balance growth with fun and peace. It's just going to take time. And who knows it may not work but at least I'm trying and I can show her the real me.
Have a good Saturday everyone.
That is good news brother. Bottom line is you love her and want to be with her. That will shine thru the BS..
BigB, forget all this stuff about Alpha this and alpha that, there has been alot of great advice given thus far, however only you know where you heart is at. With that being said only you know if its worth working on to keep, none of us could completely understand unless we walked in your shoes and lived your life. Everyone is helpful and has things that may help but,go with your heart on this one, im sure you will make the right decision. Go with your heart bro, forget the rest. (just giving you the same advice you have given me before,in my situation)
BigBmajYes that is very true. No one but me really knows the situation. And I don't know how she sees it and she doesn't know how I see it. I feel a little silly for laying my life out like this, but as I said I need to talk about stuff. And I didn't want to keep discussing this stuff with her. I know the right approach, I just like to look at it from all sides.
When our NEEDS are not met, we are weak, unsure, and unproductive. And truly unattractive.
We humans are social animals we NEED to feel loved. We NEED to feel like we are part of something bigger than us. We NEED to feel like we are needed. We NEED to feel like we matter.
DO NOT confuse that with alpha or being weak.
I NEEDED my wife to understand the pain she caused me when she had an affair (within our first year of marriage). Not just acknowledge it, but to know it; understand it. When she was able to express it in her words how I felt I was able to forgive her.
That happened years later, after counseling.
Before then I suppressed my anger and hurt. Detached myself and drank. Our relationship was more like roommates than lovers.
The roles are reversed but there is a lot in this situation that I saw in my relationship with my wife.
Today I truly feel loved by my wife. We have a strong relationship. Her love for me has made me a better man. I do not drink. I am not afraid to admit that I NEED her in my life. And I am no less alpha for it.
BigBmaj, if you can express your sorrow, show her you understand the pain you caused and ask for her forgiveness, she will respond. If you can articulate why you need her in your life, she will respond.
When our needs are met, we are stronger and more independent.
And, more attractive as the others are stating.
BigBmajVery nice advice. I'm thinking about the confident alpha types here and it's occurring to me that they are almost all fairly sensitive people. They seem to be the ones that can express their fears and show their emotions.
I think we get it twisted as men, learning to become a man. I been show my son what it's like to suck it up and be a man. Even though i want to say "bud I get it life is hard and I want to cry sometimes myself". I tell him "your ok, just breathe and it's fine."
I see people posturing to demonstrate alpha status. I see this all the time in the gym, but when I dig below the surface I see such insecurity. They seem to be showing their bodies to make up for some major feelings of inadequacy. This seems to be so common. It's as if they want to become what they feel a man really is.
Good words. I'm glad you and your wife are doing well. I'm sure it was hard to get that trust back.
Right there in what you said can go hand and hand! You can tell your son to suck it up and then follow it up with what you said so he knows that you can relate. We do have to suck it up in life to persevere but it doesn't mean we need to be in the dark about what is going on with us. The two should coexist.
Having emotions is good it is like a steam release valve on a nuclear reactor. However not letting our emotions dictate what is true or right and how we react to a situation is also a must. When I lose someone in combat I am instantly every time filled with rage and hatred! It has and always will be that way but I have also learned that rage and hatred if I give into it and let it steer my actions it will cause me to make fatal mistakes. I do not deny my rage and I do not let it govern my response so that I can get the justice and payback that I desire.
When my wife pisses me off, I don't deny I am pissed but the first thing I do is search to see if it is justified or if I am wrong and just looking to start shit because I haven't dealt with something somewhere else. If I conclude I am right by the evidence that she did offend me, then I go to her straight away and say, "I am pissed you said this and now I would like you to prove where it is valid!" If she hesitates and says oh I didn't mean that." I have a policy of saying well what id I shoot your favorite horse and say "well I didn't mean that!" does that work for you. She then has said you are right I am wrong I was being pissy and I wanted attention and instead of just asking I started some shit. Then we laugh and all is well. Also I do the same to her. Truth and evidence should always reign over feelings and emotions but first you must get to the reason why you are having the feeling and emotions in order to let the truth purify your intentions.
BigBmajIt's a fine line between - suck it up and let it flow. I think learning that balance is a lifetime of work. And maybe it was harder not having father figures.
My son will fall off his bike and if momma is around he's bound to cry, with me he just brushes himself off and laughs. That's why I think it's so important to have a mother and a father. So a nice balance can be achieved. I'm not saying the mother is always one way or the father is either, but I think it helps the total balance of things.
That is for sure the optimal and often so rare today.
You can thank God that you still have her. And, you can ask Him to give you guidance in helping both of you make the decision on how to love each other completely and honestly.
Couldn't resist. I'm not insensitive. I feel your pain! But what happened to the alpha inside you? Was there ever one? Your wife wants her man to act like a man. That's all I know. Nothing wrong with being a little sensitive ,but when it's time to stand up ,you better man up if you wana keep her.
BigBmajOne could argue that I'm enough of an alpha to not need to put up an strong exterior. I have pretended to be alpha for long enough. Perhaps it's just not me. I'm sensitive, always have been. She fell in love with a much more sensitive person than I am now. I feel like that person is just coming back. I have had much better luck with women being a sensitive guy that some pumped up version of who knows what. I know people may find that hard to believe but it's the truth.
Don't start to think I'm so naive that I don't know what this looks like. But she never liked the alpha me, she liked the guy she could talk to. I was 135 lbs with long hair when we met and she totally fell in love with that person. I'm aware that alpha is a persona and not a size and I've always commanded a very strong presence but I wouldn't say I'm alpha.
I think there is a lot more posturing as alpha around here than is really around. I've probably met 5 people in my life that I feel fit that mold. And there may be one or two here.
Being an alpha has absolutely NOTHING to do with how big you are. And it has nothing to do with emotion. Nothing to do with how sensitive you are. It's a an aura of confidence. The way you perceive yourself. An alpha doesn't have feelings of inadequacy or doubt. He's absolutely positive that he knows exactly who he is and is more than ok with it. His will can't be broken. He stands and faces the fire when shit gets tough. He doesn't ball up and cover his head! You have the wrong idea about what an alpha is. And I was by no means callin you a pussy or anything like that. I'm pretty in touch with my emotions and get sensitive often. The ppl who know me know what I mean. But it doesn't define me. It doesn't consume me. I feel, I deal with it and I keep it moving and progress. I just think you have some soul searching to do bro. You're not a dummy and you're not soft. So think it through and make a move. But for fuck sake don't drag yourslf down over it.
I've got to say, this is a damn good description on what an ALPHA "a-type" personality is. It's someone that runs to the fight, not away from it. Has absolutely jack shit to do with how in touch you are with your emotions. I served with some of the most A-type men in the world. Some of those guys act like drama queens ( oh Pank, I hope you see this;)) and some act like they don't have emotions.
Yes I agree with you. Still leaves me scratching my head to this day especially during the selection process. You see men that are at the apex of physical dominance and yet utterly weak in practical life functional ability. You also pointed out very well Gargoyle the extremes of weakness that men possess both overly in touch with their feelings and utterly denying that they have any.
Pank, you and I are cut from the same cloth from the same brotherhood. In my personal experience and in observing my brethren from my service days; I have noticed that some as strong physically and mentally as they are, are not strong emotionally. Many guys leave NSW and are culture shocked by civilian life. They do not know how to cope with their new surroundings. In fact I think there are more emotionally unbalanced people in spec war/ spec ops than anywhere. The fact that they no longer belong to a special club with brothers who are tighter then spouses and no matter what happened in your personal life you did not have to deal with it because you had a purpose that stood above all things. Egos were stroked simply by existing in the community. It seams that most of the guys I served with were there to over compensate for something they lacked inside. Remember the three types that started training? The "wanna be", the "gonna be" and the "will be". The will be was left alone because their purpose was clear and unwavering we will call them the true alphas. The gonna be was tested repeatedly for their resolve and the wanna be DOR' ed or was dropped by his teammates or the instructors very quickly! My point to this rant is that strength and resolve alpha or not does not make up for emotional strength and maturity. Think of how many guys you saw go through training at 18 and made it! They were little kids (myself included at 22) and while trained to handle emotions of fear and anger there never was training on relationships or other aspects of emotional warfare.
SO SPOT ON!
That right there could not have been better said! Actually the whole thing but it would have been to big to quote lol. Also dead on about the bond of brotherhood and stroking of egos, and why the adjustment rate to family life is so massively low in percentages. You know what the worse thing is, is if you were to go back in and teach this which would save those that could comprehend and apply, most of the high end operators would not even hear a damn word because of believing in being elite as an operator would cover all that you just wrote.
It has always been heart wrenching for me to see some of the best in all of our teams and support logistics be degraded do to this unseen and untended to plaque that literally ravishes the family life. I will say seeing this written by you gives me encouragement that others are out there with such perception that our brothers can benefit!
BigBmajI don't have feelings of inadequacy, but I do have doubt. So many things are changing in my life at this point. I'm finally deciding that I want to be married after 5 years. I'm going back to school in a really competitive physical therapy program. I've been getting much closer to my son after realizing my lack luster parenting skills. And I've most recently significantly lower my intake of gear. So I'm feeling up in the air, and it would be nice to feel the support of a wife.
I mentioned that size isn't an indication of alpha. But I've never been that classic alpha persona. Now that I think about it I'm thinking that maybe I was confident and I carried an air of sureness when she met me. But I'm much more confident now. Aside from a little doubt that I'm feeling about this current relationship. I could walk out and be fine, id be fine alone and I'd be fine meeting someone new. But I'm not feeling that right now.
I completely understand your point. But I'm not coming off as being clingy or needy. I'm just very unsure about the future of this marriage. If I felt like it was not worth it I would walk out today.
We have so much history together. We have been seen each other at our lowest. And we are both now growing at an exceptional rate. I'm staring to think that all my over confidence and aloofness was just false image being projected. I'm just in totally new territory here and I'm not sure exactly how to be. I don't love showing you people this side of myself, but I'd rather show it here than out there.
So for all of you that think I'm just being weak, I appreciate those statements. I want to be able to look at the whole me, not just the stuff I want to see. I can see all sides of this argument.
Thanks fuckers.
dude, you wrote your heart felt emotions on a steroid website, you are going to get people having a go, and people with opinions from every direction, ive watched you since you joined, and of late, you have been snapping at people including myself, even stating that this place is shit, this is a community, and everybody has an opinion and is allowed to put it out there, nobody is better than anybody else on here as a person, we are all equal, I myself have had a shaky friendship with mental illness, it comes and goes as things around me change, I believe this is a mental issue, you need to chill back and relax, it will work itself out, and at the end of the day if you want her go get her, if not move on. good luck mate and I mean that im not being a smartass.
BigBmajSarcasm doesn't get portrayed well in type. I was honestly saying thanks for all the different opinions. I meant it.
I didn't think I said this place was shit, I said that exaggerating is what makes this place shitty.
I don't think I snapped at too many people. I know we are still stuck on the 4000 calorie breakfast comment but it's time we let that go.
Thanks.
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"I'm not sure exactly how to be"
Please trust me on this. Be YOURSELF! If you get her to fall back in love with anything other than yourself, then she's not really falling in love with you. Trust me man. Be you and if she doesn't want that, you will find someone that does. But you can't act a certain way because you think that's what she wants. Then you end up living a lie.
I think deep down you know that's what you need to do and you are scared she won't accept that. I was too brother. Trust me.
BigBmajVery good point. When I read Alayna's post about just "man up", I'm thinking "yeah but that would be a fake me". Of coarse I could act like I'm just fine, or I could go have an affair and forget about the whole thing.
I'm not trying to attract women, I'm trying to deepen a relationship with my wife and express my vulnerablity so that I can have some true intimacy in a damaged relationship.
The more I think about it I'm feeling like perhaps I'm making a shift into an alpha type. I know who I am and I'm finally feeling like it's ok to express that person even if it's coming off as weakness. I probably had major insecurities and I was over compensating. Now I'm addressing those insecurities and I'm facing my fears.
Or maybe I just think too much.
Nah you don't think too much.. and I completely agree with gargoyle.. plus you can't try to be something you think she'd like better.. you've been married too long she knows you too well plus you couldn't keep that up forever.. Be sincere and do what comes naturally.. yeah yeah this is a steroid site woopty fucking do this whole man up hard ass shit sounds retarded to me.. you're in a emotional low at the moment but things will get better.. just be you... that's a true alpha.. Someone who can be their self and lead by example and accept the fact not everyone is going to like them.. not a hard ass that hides their emotions like a coward and waves their dick around at every issue that comes up.. at the end of the day if you can be truthful with yourself you can work through just about any obstacles life throws at you.. unless it's a bus.. you don't work through buses
I think one important fact to acknowledge here is the change he has undergone in a very short time especially within 8 years. His pictures show him at 155 and now at 190 in what I am guessing is record time. Now take into account he has acknowledged in a post just a couple days ago that he has a bit of an ego issue. We all know what it is like to feel jacked and look in the mirror....I do not believe anyone on this site is above at least a little vanity. However, with the ego come attitude and change in mindsets...perhaps that is part of what drove her away.
Lets also not confuse alpha, which he admits he is not, with being a man and lets not also confuse humility with weakness. These are all very different terms. One can be humble and still alpha without being week and a man does not need to be an alpha to be happy. I do not think he was ever alpha but he has definitely personified one with every pound he has gained I am guessing. I am not disagreeing with the fact that he does need to pick his head up and lead the relationship by being a man who stands proud and confident. No woman wants to be with an insecure male. But he doesn't have to clear a room of a kill house in 8 seconds to prove it. And finally he needs to get his hormones in check. I bet his E2 is high with his test being so low and we do not know what cycle he just came off of nor do we have bloods that he has mentioned.
BigBmajAll blood work is coming back tomorrow. I was on cycle for a really long time. Maybe 7 months. I'm sure my estrogen is high and the test I have I'm feeling is under dosed (TRT 200 mg a week). I didn't want to add or subtract until I had results.
In the span of 19 months I - got clean from an opiate addiction I had for life, went from 155-210 actually, stopped all extra marital relationships, went back to school to start a new career, got very close to my son, and decided I wanted to be married. So yeah lots is new. Most of this is great but it's all so new to me.
I'm not sure about alpha status. I've been asking people around me the last couple days and they say I portray a very confident strong person. I asked my wife and she said I was very alpha when we met. I asked her what the juice did to my personality. She said it made me go from confident and sure of myself to cocky and self obsessed. I just thought that was interesting. So we laughed about it. I mentioned that I was lucky to have a woman who stood beside me with all of my craziness.
Thanks for your thoughts on this matter.
I applaud you for turning your life around especially having a family and a son that need you! That is what a proud man does...what needs doing! Shame on you for cycling 7 months straight! You now can speak to younger members about the personal, emotional and physical dangers of excessive use!
Again congrats on turning your life around. Get your levels right and stable before you make any rash decisions and do not cycle for at least 6 months after you have run new labs to establish your new baseline.
He stated his issue in the very first line of his post. "My testosterone is low". It's pretty obvious. But the descriptions on alphas and men and how men don't have to be an alpha to be happy or how an alpha can be humble. I believe I echoed that. I'm not sure if you read my comment but I agree anyway. I used that term because he comes across that way or did before this post. But I'm not big on giving advice. I'm an expert on Nitti and what Nitti has experienced and what he knows to be true.
I think it was me that was echoing you my friend. I think I poorly made my point that he has been through a major body transformation in a short time and that may be a root cause to his current issue. I posted below on this once down below and I am sure it has not been looked at with much merit as I was being a little satirical. However, the point I made in my first post was that a person should not make emotional decisions when sick or under the influence of anything. Being that his test is low and E2 prob high he would not make the same decision if his hormones were in balance. As well as his confidence being where it normally would be with normal ranges. Fighting the emotions actually take a diligent effort to remember your emotions are running the show and to rain them in before you make a bad decision.
In short I was trying to expound on your comment above not take away from it.
I have to say I'm with Nitti on this one. Most women want there men to be men and grow to resent the puppy dogs. And the thing about being Alpha is either your are or your not... Period
Nothing wrong with LOVE bro, I am newly in love myself and she is both amused and mystified at my sense of self. That doesn't mean I treat her like crap, it means that as much as i care about her I will be ok either with or without her and she knows it. But she also knows I prefer to be with her, And yes I sent flowers to her work today, being Alpha doesn't mean I don't care and can't be sweet and/or romantic
hahahaahahah.
BigBmajLet me wager a guess - you have a very fulfilling existence?
nah I was just laughing at the part where your like she put on 100 pounds during pregnancy, so you weren't attracted to her any more????? or did I read it wrong?? wasn't laughing at you mate.
BigBmajNo that part was correct.
fair enough mate, wasn't laughing at you, so you need to take a chill pill bro daamn you have been feisty on here lately.
AnonFinnocchio lol
ClassyChassisHa ha. wish I could plus you. (-:
ClassyChassisAll I can say is that neediness is not attractive and no woman will respect a man that is weak. No person can give or add anything to you. You need no one. You are complete, as you are. How could this not be? If you want to share your life experience with someone, that's cool, but in the end, your life is a journey for your eyes alone.
Could you really respect someone who needed you? Someone who wasn't enough without you? You would hate it. You would resent them, for making you responsible for their well-being. Come from a position of strength, of indifference. This is your true nature, as it is hers.
BigBmajI have come from a position of indifference and it was making me feel very unfulfilled. I have to try something else. I was dispassionate for years it's time for something new.
ClassyChassisListen to the voice deep within you. It needs NOTHING. Look deep. To the true self. Not to the superficial programming. Passion has to do with you. Not someone else. This is the lie. To weaken us. This is your life. Accept this or suffer the consequences.
ClassyChassisI am not saying to be dispassionate in order not to be hurt. What you are can not be hurt. It can not be touched or affected in any way. Find this. That which experiences all things but is touched by none of it. You are that. All experiences are transitory, impermanent. You are eternal. Have you ever known non-existence? Could you? All things arise and disappear within you. Find this. There is nothing more worthy of your impermanence or your manhood.