+ 4 HOW TO START A FAKE STEROID COMPANY
With the economy all fucked up and on the verge of collapse, your job at Walmart may not be enough to keep you in smokes, weed, coke, pussy, and (most importantly) gear. So it stands to reason that it may be necessary to resort to illegal activity to support that healthy lifestyle you love so much. And I can't think of a funner illegal activity that selling fake steroids....EVERYBODY'S doing it, and you can too.
So I've arranged a checklist of the things you'll need to do to become a star in the world of fake, online steroids.
A) Go to the grocery store and buy grapeseed oil...a LOT of it. If the grocery store is out of grapeseed oil, go to Auto Zone and buy motor oil...a LOT of it.
B)Order vials from medical supply company.
C)Fill vials with oil..but NOT all the way, or your stupid-ass, gullible customers will expect it all the time. And you'll find out real quick that they will actually bitch and complain if their shit isn't the same everytime.
D)Go to office max and have labels made for vials...preferably with some macho, stupid-ass animal on them, like a dragon or Jason from Friday The 13th. You could also try to sign a celebrity to an endorsement contract....but you can forget about athletes...they're all taken. So you want someone who is respected for being a bad-ass. You can't go wrong with signature labels from Jeffery Dahmer or OJ Simpson.
E)Have some college computer student that's ready to suck cock for food because he can't find a job, make you a really cool website with a picture of a doctor with a stethoscope around his neck, and a picture of some dizzy bitch with glasses and a headset, with a caption that reads "24 hour support...no perscription needed". Then give your website a really cool name like PITBULLGEAR.COM... or EVILROIDS.COM, or anything else that some dumbass 2O year old, MTV-addicted idiot would like.
F) Open several accounts with eroids and post comments under fake names telling everyone how you've gained 55 pounds of pure beef in 10 days and beat up 6 cops at once while handcuffed and being shot with 4 tasers....ALL because of the bullshit gear you're selling.
G)And as soon as someone says your gear might be bunk, make sure you use all of your fake accounts to downvote them, and immediately respond with how your gear has made it possible for you to finally land a contract in the NFL, buy a huge mansion, and now have the freedom to fuck as much pussy as you want..just because your so fucking rich and was just featured on MTV Cribs.
F) Finally, if the heat comes down, you've got nothing to worry about because you haven't broken a single fucking law that Muscletech or BSN doesn't break a million times a day...and even if you do get charged, you'll have enough money to hire a legal team so powerful, they could have gotten Osama Bin laden off scott free.
Good luck bitches...and God bless capitalism!
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LMAO - an old post but seriously got an out loud laugh out of me. My wife thought it was pretty funny too...so you know it's legit!
"the stuff got me so jacked, i was putting up 4 plates @ 30%bf my 3rd week of lifting ever" -LilBilly72
"my libido is so high whenever i even walk into a room, all the women get knocked up" -Immaculateconception32
This was hilarious
Do you have a preference on motor oil? Synthetic or high mileage? Lmao
What is your goal, .......... cutting, bulking,.....lean mass ???
It makes a difference.
And for our 15 year old members, "The above is meant as A JOKE.
Well I'm 6'2" and 123 lbs. I've been lifting hard for 2 1/2 months. My mom makes sure I eat my cherrioes and whey every morning before I hit the high school gym. I'm looking to get jacked, planning on a gram of test and tren every week for 22 weeks. So like a lean bulk bro.
I'm thinking synthetic would be better.. As who would want to be natty?
This one is pretty dusty.... for the new guys here...
It's a classic lol
Damn made me laugh while looking at the phone...my lady doesn't like when I laugh while looking at my phone...she thinks I have a bitch hiding in there...all bullshit aside though you really threw a monkey wrench in the mix for sources like that. A clever way of opening eyes brother...
This post is so damn brilliant.
My education has literally been "B.E." (Before Eroids) and "A.E." (After Eroids). B.E., I was about to drop a few hundred bucks on some product that was supposed to be Dianabol, but I never pulled the trigger on buying it cuz I simply thought, "this seems too easy." After a few days of opening the website up and reading more, then I discovered that the Dianabol was spelled without an "o" at the end. Upon reading the fine print at the bottom of the website page, it said, "all products are safe alternatives to steroids." I got lucky. I can't imagine how much money those "companies" have scammed off of unknowing customers.
I'm glad to report that A.E., my education regarding AAS & TRT has been through the damn roof.
My sincerest gratitude to all of the fine men and women who help to make this a bad ass website.
Sadly, a lot of cops come here for an education too.
Beat up 6 cops while handcuffed. Lol that's epic bro.
That's some funny shit right there
Funny shit as always Goth. LOL.Those oldies but goodies.
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Rolling on the floor with tears in my eyes
Damn this is some funny shit lmfao:)
Lol, hilarious!
As I sit here typing at my screen in the upstairs office of my mansion in Palm Beach I wonder how you could have known? The only thing we do differently with all these steroid companies is make sure the product is sterile. A small investment in the overall scheme of things. I mean, after all, the stupidity of the average gym rat is astonishing. To believe that there are thousands of legitimate sources for gear all making money. Silly when you think of it . . .
RustyhookerOldie but a goodie!
Someone found the keys to the archives. LOL
RustyhookerNothing like the good old days. Goth posted a ton of funny shit. One was about pip being your pimp. Lol!!
I remember the day he compared the people supporting a certain source ( that was in trouble ),............. to chickens cheering for Colonel Sanders.
RustyhookerHaha!! Everyone needs a fanboy. Lol
The chicken comment is on page 202 of the review pages for the large Source that couldn't deliver in the summer of 2011, kind regards William.
RustyhookerLmao! You're great in history. Some of the highlights brings back old laughs. Jaw dropping moments. One dude was talking down at grrl. She led him out til he tripped, proved him wrong then scoffed. It was amazing to watch! Then goth bonked dude with a ban. Haha
Chickens for Sanders! LOL
pm me
list of fakes
Lmao at vials with stupid ass animals on them and websites with doctors wearing a stethoscope
Good post
AnonSadly, there's a few Scammers who've done this shit. I can think of a few right off the bat. Better do ur homework cuz not every new Src is what they seem:/
I finally have a shopping list! Financial freedom here we come!
Anabolicwolf! He got me. Ugh
Just think of the possibilities LOL
AnonWow some posts are just timeless
smokes, weed, coke, pussy, and (most importantly) gear. I'll take pussy over gear any day, but you forgot beer, dust, and acid
Exactly why you should stick to what you know...always some dipshit out there selling fake crap that could give you a mean ass infection on top of loosing your money. funny post though!
A year+ bump... I can only assume you searched "How to make and sell fake steroids" ;)
Good ole goth, good entertainment. I never miss one of your posts.
You know what was always strange to me, making a fake UGL with labels and website and all the work it would still cost around $5,000, why not just make real steroids?
Yes,....................but you forget, they probably don't know where to buy the powder.
smasher35comment deleted, user has at least 22 fake accounts
~BFG
I just put a order in should i be worried ...LOL
bosoxboyOh I got a great name for the "lab" how about Northern Gear! Oh wait some one did that one
Your post is a perfect example of why I need a low karma point, troll account so as to down vote you.
It would not cost you any points but you would get a hint that the next one like that may.
bosoxboyI was taking a shot at losers that would try to hurt others I am sorry you found it offensive
2 weeks from now it will probably fun,.........just too soon.
bosoxboyOkay man my bad and my appologise to all that where offended I see that it is to soon and in poor taste
Kind of makes me not want to ever order anything again.
J) The best use of a partener is a reduced sentence.
Hey Goth u should write a book, im pretty sure all of us will buy it lol !!
it will be bestseller lol