+ 4 HOW TO START A FAKE STEROID COMPANY
With the economy all fucked up and on the verge of collapse, your job at Walmart may not be enough to keep you in smokes, weed, coke, pussy, and (most importantly) gear. So it stands to reason that it may be necessary to resort to illegal activity to support that healthy lifestyle you love so much. And I can't think of a funner illegal activity that selling fake steroids....EVERYBODY'S doing it, and you can too.
So I've arranged a checklist of the things you'll need to do to become a star in the world of fake, online steroids.
A) Go to the grocery store and buy grapeseed oil...a LOT of it. If the grocery store is out of grapeseed oil, go to Auto Zone and buy motor oil...a LOT of it.
B)Order vials from medical supply company.
C)Fill vials with oil..but NOT all the way, or your stupid-ass, gullible customers will expect it all the time. And you'll find out real quick that they will actually bitch and complain if their shit isn't the same everytime.
D)Go to office max and have labels made for vials...preferably with some macho, stupid-ass animal on them, like a dragon or Jason from Friday The 13th. You could also try to sign a celebrity to an endorsement contract....but you can forget about athletes...they're all taken. So you want someone who is respected for being a bad-ass. You can't go wrong with signature labels from Jeffery Dahmer or OJ Simpson.
E)Have some college computer student that's ready to suck cock for food because he can't find a job, make you a really cool website with a picture of a doctor with a stethoscope around his neck, and a picture of some dizzy bitch with glasses and a headset, with a caption that reads "24 hour support...no perscription needed". Then give your website a really cool name like PITBULLGEAR.COM... or EVILROIDS.COM, or anything else that some dumbass 2O year old, MTV-addicted idiot would like.
F) Open several accounts with eroids and post comments under fake names telling everyone how you've gained 55 pounds of pure beef in 10 days and beat up 6 cops at once while handcuffed and being shot with 4 tasers....ALL because of the bullshit gear you're selling.
G)And as soon as someone says your gear might be bunk, make sure you use all of your fake accounts to downvote them, and immediately respond with how your gear has made it possible for you to finally land a contract in the NFL, buy a huge mansion, and now have the freedom to fuck as much pussy as you want..just because your so fucking rich and was just featured on MTV Cribs.
F) Finally, if the heat comes down, you've got nothing to worry about because you haven't broken a single fucking law that Muscletech or BSN doesn't break a million times a day...and even if you do get charged, you'll have enough money to hire a legal team so powerful, they could have gotten Osama Bin laden off scott free.
Good luck bitches...and God bless capitalism!
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I can see his book sitting in the best seller list shelf next to Bill O'Reilly's.
yup, and full of sarcasm too, lol
Woww way to blow up the spot...that was my next business venture
I feel dozens of young entrepreneurs are going to wake up early at noon today, or maybe tomorrow, and follow your advice to the letter. You may need to find a "sarcasm" font, because the people on both sides of the market you are describing might not get it. Oh well. Effum! But seriously, grapeseed oil will make me pumped?
Anyone who would take this post seriously is not much of a threat..lol
Anoni thought it was hilarious as all hell, it sounds do able, have u done it lol
Sometimes I'm convinced you could sell these guys motor oil, and a week later they'd be ordering more and giving you a 5-star rating.
hey, i resent that, i take our business venture very seriously!!! we will be rich enough someday to get it legalized and put ourselves right out of business. dodn't give up on our dream big guy.
LOL!!! sorry
come buy from my new website, ITSNOTMOTOROIL.COM lol
I needed that...lol. Thanks goth, was feeling a little down today...;)
-beco
Eric090585good ol gothic lol
I suggest you build the lab in 2-4 40 foot shipping container, that way it is easily movable, if one container is ever discovered by the cops, they still wouldn't have the whole thing and may not even know what they have.
LOL! Love it.
can I get my grocierys while on my way to home depot or should I wait till I bring my labels back to the house to look inconspicuous? oh shit he said office max!! damnit I knew I shoulda been writing this shit down, I aint never gonna get any rich pussy while watching NFL. so let me sum this up, I need to get grape juice, and some vials from the high school chest team, hand cuff myself to a bunk bed (ireally dont understand why I gotta do that!!!! maybe its a juicers sign of good luck) change my name to Scott Free (thats a lil strange too) and tazor myself a million times a day??......... well that just sounds like a safe painless investment!!!!! thanks 7gothic Be on the lookout for my new website ..... BLOKESNUTSFORBULLSGEAREDFASTEREST.com lmmfao 7gothic that was hilariously priceless ........ damn that was a big ass word
AnonLMAO pope u are crazy as fuck
damn 7gothic, dont tell all the tricks lol. i can see it now, all the newbs are gonna be selling fake shit to their little buddies and fellow gym members, but hey dont forget the vial crimper, butyl stoppers, 20mm tops, BA, BB, vials.
tread-mMaybe I should stay over in the "old bastards" thread because the first thing I noticed there is I like your politics! But on a lighter note...Really, we go straight from "their out of grapeseed oil" to Fuggin 10w-30? I'm thinkin wesson was the next step but you just said fuggit and straight to Auto Zone! Wesson wont abscess as fast and maybe some dickweed actually buys another order before he figures it out....With the motor oil its game over first cycle! Hey maybe you could use all that bullshit ethenol for your 7Gothic test 300 or the "Deca Duranol"....We could say its part of the "shovel ready" jobs program that never quite got here!
unbelievable what people will fall for.
Funnily enough, I notice a lot of new sites popping up here with 15 newbies giving them amazing reviews. Maybe they took your idea seriously...
You might want to invest a couple of thousand in top name gear first, peel and replace the labels with your own, let the internet buzz start,..............then proceed with plan as outlined above.
A couple of bad reports of bunk gear at the start up could kill your plan, get a couple of "Fan Boys" schilling for you cause they got the real stuff and you should be golden.
well whatever you do don't come to eroid cos you'll get busted pretty soon
If you're gonna spend 500 bucks on gear and go through a cycle, then spend another 100 for a blood test. That way, you'll know if you have any problems or reactions to the gear, AND, more importantly, you'll know if your gear is actually legit.
I enjoyed that. Funny as fuck, but scary true.
wow how awesome is this..... lol
I Lol'd IRL
@7gothic 'Open several accounts with eroids and post comments under fake names telling everyone how you've gained 55 pounds of pure beef in 10 days and beat up 6 cops at once while handcuffed and being shot with 4 tasers' lol,but watch the influx of new sites under source reviews in the next week double,with 100s of new guys screaming how they got robbed and the poor bastards getting downvoted to the land of the -100's...poor bastards lol
AnonI do believe that there is a story floating around the gym that has 7 beating up nine cops using exclusively using lixus gear... and on an oral only cycle at that
Last night I was looking at some of the sources way down on the list...like 3 PAGES down, and I'm amazed at how many there are. Euroking is getting closer to the 10-vote milestone, and they deserve it. Then there are others like uncle Z who are just lurking in the shadows for the next victim.
Good old uncle Z,always robbing sweet's from the kids
Don't forget the Benzyl Alcohol so nobody cries infection
Should be a sticky somewhere
Or...
Find picture of smiling doctor in lab coat with stethoscope.
Rip off steroid content from other sites. (saves on paying college student)
Re-brand useless herbal supplements with steroid sounding names.
Add the following disclaimer in pt1 font size to avoid lawsuits for fraud:
BSroids.com are representative of ingredients which MAY enhance blood levels of hormones in the body. This site is offering extremely strong alternative to the highly toxic drug listed throughout this website. These products are not drugs.
tread-mFurther disclaimer...but they do contain FUC@*IN MOTOR OIL and do not claim to treat,cure or diagnos any illness. Consult your Doctor as this shit was made in my shed next to a home made meth lab!!!! Talk about PIP
AnonI thought that lab was in your basement
Geeeeeze..You must have been bored today..lol
This was like my first post on here. I thought I was going to get banned for this..lol