girlfriend won't have sex anymore...
So been dating a girl for 9 months. For the first six, the sex was all the time, and really good. Then it just basically stopped. I know it slows down over time, but it went from almost every time we hung out, to once a week...now its been almost a month.
I've tried talking to her about it, and she got mad...proclaiming "I didn't know you were keeping score!" And she's made comments since like "well since you brought it up, now you made it an issue."
I love this girl but not sure I can endure this. I'm on TRT so the drive is still there. I tried talking to her about it because I think no sex is a red flag there is something wrong in the relationship. I'm a good guy though. I do it all...take her out, buy her flowers, fix stuff around her house, compliment her etc...but she just doesn't want it.
She bought me Xmas presents, talks about plans with me down the road, says she loves me, but no sex.
I'm at my breaking point. I feel like I need to move on, but I do love this girl. Any input? I have had several girls hitting me up lately, but I love this one. Thanks
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HAHAHA... it would definitely be more beneficial at the beginning, but most Government projects are backwards lol... I had forgotten about the cones on the end of the moonbeam!! We had red & green.
No one can understand womens mind...
I think you wanted to say:
Anything man that tells you get understands women, is either a liar or gay.
You said gay, but No Homo??? That’s gay
(NO HOMO)
Thanks for all the input. Got some booty last Friday...now the wait begins again. I think the advice to just ignore her might be the way to go. The dinners, flowers, compliments and effort certainly isn't working. Kind of think this just isn't working. Last night she made a comment about liking skinny guys. I said "umm, I'm not skinny though" she was then back tracking... "Oh, I like muscles too, guess I shouldn't have said that" its little comments like that, that make me question the whole deal. :/
She give you the booty last Friday or did you get it elsewhere?
She gave it, nothing since... :/
Damn bro. Man I’m sorry you are going thru this with her. Maybe you should start looking for a “special female friend” to help make the transition easier if this doesn’t end up working out cuz her comments and lack of interest in sex are suspect.
AnonI don't know how old she is but for some strange reason I've noticed most women do like skinny guys, maybe muscles intimidate younger girls these days? Maybe skinny guys resemble some of the famous men younger girls drool over like Bieber? Or maybe you're just crushing her in the sack and not in the good way.
Funny part is I've seen pics of a couple exes, and they were skinny metro guys. I was kind of surprised to be honest that she was into me. I'm certainly no pro, but I'm a lot bigger than average. I'm not about to lose 50lbs so some chick will like me, lol.
We've seen your back photo, no way you're passing for a skinny dude.
All jokes aside I'm surprised you put up with her bro.
Sounds like an infidelity issue. Don't waste your time with game playing! Too many good ones out there!
The pill or brain meds will carve up a womans sex drive good'oh
Eagles is right... the other issue is that if she isn't willing to discuss what the issue it is time to really sit down and take a good hard look at everything ..real love encompasses the entirety of the relationship emotional and physical .. It sounds to me like there are other issues and that sex to her is not an expression of affection and love but something to be utilized ... hope you figure it out
I went through the same thing with a girl last year and finally she admitted after drinking one night that sex to her was all about power- knowing that she had power over something that men wanted and being able to control when she gave it to them. My solution was to buy a jumbo tube of hand lotion, take care of myself and act uninterested in actual sex and within 2 weeks she was going crazy and fucking my brains out again because she felt like she had lost that power when I stopped trying to get it in.
Point in case- women are much more complicated than men and the driver is probably something psychological that you wouldn't think of in a million years. If she won't talk to you about it, take time to sit down and really analyze her personality- what drives her, what motivates her, is her personality one that feeds off of power or is she more passive? My guess is that you will be able to find the answers in her personality traits.
All the best
Just to take the power thing in a different direction - i believe that it was Henry Kissinger who said: "Power is an aphrodisiac" It seems to have applied to me in a way.Years ago I had a job that involved, among other things, investigating police. For a while I had a clandestine relationship with a young policewoman. When I resigned from that job and became a college lecturer, she ended the relationship...I asked her why, and she replied that it was my previous position that turned her on....and all the while, I thought that she was attracted to me - the person. So, yes there are many psychological motivations for relationships that women have which we can't even guess at.
Damn good advice.
All learned through years of painful trial and error lol
https://www.eroids.com/forum/general/off-topic/online-dating-coincidence...
My ex was the same. First 6 months the sex was crazy, but once we moved in together it dwindled and then became a routine fuck maybe once a week. My theory is that women use sex to attract and 'capture' a guy, but in reality to them sex is simply about procreation. Sure - some like it, but most don't seem too fussed about it. There are women who like sex for what it is - I have met some, but generally, it's all about using it to get married and have kids. Where I presently live, the women (people) have a totally different attitude to sex - it is what it is - fun for everyone. There's no need for convoluted acts of affection, drawn out pseudo foreplay, or all the associated displays of emotions that Western women require before deigning to open their legs. Sure - for a successful relationship you have to be a loving, attentive and considerate partner - but Western women have set the bar way to high for the average guy...and when that guy reaches the bar - he gets little for his effort.
Sorry to hear this bro, I'm also sorry to say these things don't improve with time, not even a year into the relationship and sex is already down to once a month? 3 years on do you think it will be better? To top it off she's refusing to discuss issues with you?This is a red flag.
Sex isn't top of her list of things she likes to do, there are women who are better suited to you. Me and my Mrs would have sex everyday if we could, and for the most part we do when children, work and everything else in life allows us.
Nothing wrong with needing to feel wanted in a relationship.
Our cat placed a dead mouse under the kitchen chair I ritualistically sit in every morning for my cup of coffee.
My first reaction was repulsion. Then I realized it was the cat's way of showing love for me (or at least respect). It was the cats "love language" and it did not match mine. I had to take pause to see it for what it was; that process did not come naturally.
Have you been leaving "dead mice" for your girlfriend?
Maybe her "love language" is affirmation, compliments, acknowledgment for the simple things she does that make you happy. Touch or cuddling that does not lead to sex. etc.
Find out what her need is and fill that.
It could also mean that she has marriage on the mind. When I decided I was going to ask my (then) girlfriend to marry me I did not have intercourse with her. I wanted to try and see if we could build a relationship on friendship and not sex. It worked out in the end because after 25 years of marriage, I'm still friends with her and as everyone knows, married people don't have sex after kids. :- p
Haha, true! Married with 3 kids and have been trying for more, ( more sex, NOT kids )over 10 years!.......I know everyone is different, but what I did learn from my wife and other women is that they're emotions are tied to their sex drive.
Always an option to try the romance angle. You don't really always have to go all out.
My wife likes watching movies, cuddling, all that "Fun" loving stuff lol.
It's good that you are getting to understand your wife's demands when it comes to sex. My American ex would always say: "You have to turn me on mentally to turn me on physically." So, I did all the flowers, cuddling, hugging stuff and always got the reply: "You are only doing that because you want sex." I ended up jerking off regularly for about 3 years. IMO "Romance" on a woman's terms is just her way of trying to control both you and the relationship. Never lose sight of the fact that you are an equal part of the relationship and have equal say in how it functions.
As usual brother, brilliantly insightful.
It also made me (for a moment) reflect on what an asshole I was 21 years ago.
I'm not sure if you're being serious or not.
That might be Greg's greatest gift
Very well said bro!! This is also the most sincere post I believe I’ve seen from you in a while lol ;)
Her hormones could still adjusting due to getting off the birth control. Went through the same thing with mine. But where I see a problem is she is getting an attitude with you every time you bring it up. The fact that you do all these nice things for her you would think she would want to keep you happy. It’s only been 9 months with this girl and she’s acting like this?? Maybe she’s not giving it to you because she’s getting it from somewhere else. Doesn’t really seem like she appropriates bud. Plenty of other women out there. Good luck
This is why I'm glad I've reached a point where I don't give a FUUUUUUCK about a fuck. Wish I could have been like this in my 20's and 30's... the money I could have saved. So glad no woman can use sex as a weapon with me. I've got a right hand and an upgraded Xhamster mebership..... It's been my experience that most women are psycho anyway---a fact that over 50% of married men find out the hard way.
Xhamster is the shit! Fuck a bitch!
Lmao! Tell us how you really feel bro.
Sorry Pale... I was drunk and had just struck out at bingo when I wrote that.
Losing at bingo makes me lose it too bro,lol. That said, you want to see old people wheeling and hobbling away in a hurry? They do when I start tossing tables lol
Don't show her any affection at all and let her make a move. Show zero interest! If nothing happens in another month then look elsewhere.
Like Jarhead said bro, if you truly love her, you’ll have to give her that support or it will never work. I had the same situation when I was 23. Dated this girl, fell in love after about 9 months. The sex was great, but she only wanted it when she wanted it and when she was drunk. When I wanted it, her excuse was, “is that all you think about is sexy?”
I’m a horny SOB, if I don’t get it, my ass will look outside of the relationship, which is not good. I’ve been married to my wife (different girl than the ex) her and I dated for 4 years and have been married to her almost 2 years. I’m blessed enough that I get it at least 3 to 5 Times a week.
Good luck brother, being in that situation makes it hard. It’s not all about the sex, but dammit, a man needs the V from time to time. Lol
Thanks for all the input so far. I am not sure what changed. She started on the pill in august I believe. It killed her drive and she admitted it. So she went off and I assumed it would come back, but it hasn't. Been a couple months and not happening...
Sometimes the hormones can take months to a year to level out. Women are wired differently & love is more important than sex bro. If you love her & you really feel that she loves you, and you cannot base that on sex, then be understanding & give her emotional support.
RustyhookerUnfortunately when sex and working thru an issue is gone....time to end it.
It is usually what happens but we should not build a relationship based on sex. And it was explained to me this way. There will come a day when fucking isn't your first priority and now you have to deal with the person your with. Build a foundation on The Rock and it can't be blown down.
Yup like said below boot her ass to the curb if she s only fucking you once a month after only 9 months of dating it will only get worse from there
1) If a large black magic marker, put a check mark on her ass.
2) Kick ass to curb.
3) Go out drinking and meet your next one.
4) Go back to #1.
Sex itself is awesome, but sex as part of an amorous relationship is extremely overrated imo. I simply don’t think it’s necessary to have sex with someone to love him or her. Those physical needs can be fulfilled with anyone, as long as your girlfriend gives you her blessing. Otherwise it’s straight up cheating, and the consequences can be disastrous.
My girl wants it all the time so I can’t say I have this issue (pretty sure she must be stealing my test or summat) but surely everyday life with work, stress eor even age etc can play a huge part in this.
Is there anything else that’s changed significantly recently
This is God’s way of preparing you for marriage. Lol
Yep. Priceless
Lmfao!!!
She won’t give it up at all?
Mine will but she will never start it, it’s always me who wants it.
But all women are different, our sex life is always up and down, been with her for 20 years!
When I try she gets annoyed and usually says something like "can't we just hang out?" Or... "I'm tired"
Like said above, when mine gets like that I show no interest to the point of almost ignorant.
Then usually she comes around! Good luck dude