posted Sun, 05/20/2012 - 18:16
218405
+ 10 THE RECOVERY LOUNGE!....N/A, A/A, C/A, or any other Anonymous drug program!
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Welcome to the recovery lounge, this is safe place where eroid members can talk about recovery, steroids and recovery, or any other topic! There seems to be many of us here on eroids, there will surely be different fellowships in here and they are all welcome! Other eroid brothers are welcome to come and join the lounge if they would like, its open to the public!
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Just wondering how you guys feel about being constantly pounded with religion at these meetings? It's a big turn off for me personally.
BigBmajI just say "I'm an atheist, but thanks".
spiritual NON religious program known as narcotics anonymous
^. Thats it right there! Morning all. Great day to be clean! Its up to members that have been around for awhile to model how we share in meetings about our higher power. Pushing my idea of god on someone else is just plain rude at a meeting. But... Joining a fellowship of sick people and expecting them to all behave WELL. Prob not gonna happen!!
That's actually a big misconception and myth.it's about spirituality and choosing your own concept of a higher power.
WeatherwedHere's my take on it. Some ( not all) people would rather focus on the flaws they see in the program rather than the flaws with themselves. Ive seen it often with the those still in the denial phase of their recovery. They take issue with everything from the religious influence, the time/place of meetings, and even the coffee. Anything is fair game- as long as it doesnt require critical analysis of their own plight.
well said, and accurate imo
ive worked all 12 steps and still use the group as my higher power, most of the time i wait till the very end to speak and when someone comes in with a strong god speech ill share at the end that I dont have a faith in god, that my faith is within the friendships that ive made in the rooms, that you can or can not make it with out finding god, but it is recommended if you can.
I too Have worked all 12 steps and have learned to live my life in steps 10, 11, and 12. Periodically I go through the steps again with my sponsor. I am human and need to be reminded of those humbling steps we all take when we first admit our lives have become unmanageable. I don't hear a lot of talk about god at the meetings I go to. I do hear about a higher power, funny when I first started going to meetings it seemed like everyone talked about god and I found that unsettling. perhaps the years have changed my perspective or I'm just more excepting. There are many paths to sobriety, finding the one that works best for yourself is part of the journey. peace.
BigBmajWow the weekends are tough. I am having one hell of a day today. Just can't seem to shake this funk. No desire to do anything - and I can't just sleep.
Ugh.
WeatherwedThe weekend can be tough. I kicked pills and booze years ago. Friday/sat nights were the worst for staying sober. Rather than thinking about the here and now , I would picture myself sunday morning waking up as I would have at my worst: Landlord leaving threatening msgs about my behavior the night before, fresh terrible hair cut I gave myself while high, face bright red from rubbing all the itches, wondering who the hell I embarrassed myself in front of while I was "social", and no idea where my belongings were. Looking into that crystal ball makes staying home look like the party of the century.
I dont typically share the nitty gritty details because I know there are guys out there that take it for weakness. When I was ten years old I broke through a police line and ran onto a frozen pond to pull a guy out of the water. I obviously dont lack for will power.
I feel that way sometimes, It can be hard to shake it off. For me sometimes just getting out of the house can do wonders for me. hitting the gym is something that always works, but doesn't last all day. If I keep my head in the rite place by the end of the day all is good again. I hope you can shake it. Peace
BigBmajThanks. It's hard to force myself up and out of the house. I get immobilized from depression at times.
I know the gym will help today.
BigBmajEveryone has their way of getting clean. I don't care how you approach it, the important part is getting and staying clean.
Would I have relapsed recently if I had been going to meetings frequently - probably. But that's just me.
I don't knock anyone's approach - if you are doing well then you have something figured out that I cannot quite wrap my head around.
Glad you got that guy in rehab. I don't know how well the forced approach works - I think things have to run the course. But I hope it all works out for him.
I'm really having a hard time these days. It's hard to be honest with people in my life because they tend to worry too much.
Ill be ok but it's not much fun feeling so split down the middle.
I do agree with dreday's statement about using juice and being a borderline area. I will always be an addict but using juice is encouraging that aspect of my underlying disorder. I'm thinking to be really clean I'm going to have to cast out the gear. It seems to increase the already strong propensity towards narcissism.
Juicing is like building a huge house on a weak ass foundation. I was obviously trying to compensate for the shallowness I felt inside by creating a showy exterior.
When people would mention this to me I would get defensive - a strong indication that there was truth to it.
So I've decided to gain 20 more pounds then quit. I need to have that focus now or ill go totally nuts, but I know it's less than healthy.
Just some thoughts.
when i first cam into recovery I soon realized that with drugs i got instant satisfaction and I had a serious problem with it now that i was clean, I was in a program and was mandated to go-THANK GOD cause I would have bounced. after about 4 months in I had a sponsor and had completed my 4th step. for me it was a very big eye opener as what i got to see was some patterns in my life that I had never even considered. I was very good at running away from anything that got to hard, I didnt see it that way until it was on paper but no doubt for years I had thought it was other things that had happened. It was one of the things that made me realize for the first time in my life i had an opportunity and I COULD change my life if i wanted. But damn I really didnt like many people in the rooms and they always talked about stuff I didnt care to hear about. As i learned about the disease of addiction I found that I was good at dividing the room and not listening to most of the people, isolating, its what I was good at and it felt comfortable. So being a little pissed that these realities where finally coming to me, I mean after all I only lived with me for my whole life and hadnt figured it out, I decided to do something about it. for the next 16 months I went to 12 meetings a week, give or take one or two, but alot never the less. I started sharing at all the meetings and listening to all the members, I started hugging every body, and slowly the miracle happened and I built some very solid relationships with long time members of the program. this is just a couple things that I realized in my journey, you have to find yours, get a sponsor and do the steps if you havent already, I wouldnt have made it this far if it wasnt for the steps of N/A. good luck.
also I had some problems with juicing at first as well, i talked to my sponsor about it and he talked to my grand sponsor, my whole fellowship knows, I dont care its not a relapse and doesnt bother me to juice. If you feel its not the same for you then do whats in your best interest and stop. gaining another 20 pounds and stopping will just lead you to run another in a few months when that weight falls off, just quit now.
BigBmajThanks for the insight. The second I sit down at a table I immediately try to tell myself why I'm different than all "those" people. It's always been a tendency of mine to want to identify myself as an outsider. Even when I was partying, I would look around at disgust of all the people around me. I think it's that I've always felt outside of, rather than part of, and I would look for reasons to confirm that story.
I also have noticed my propensity towards running the second something gets difficult. The concept that I need to work at something eludes me for some reason. Which explains why I am in this predicament today.
Thanks for the thoughts. I'm going to go hit the gym hard now. Plot my frustrations against some iron.
Surprised everyone was cool about your juicing. People are much less open-minded about that kind of thing around here. They all say it's an unhealthy reliance on chemicals around here.
Have a good one.
WeatherwedEveryone has their own truth. Im just happy you have some clarity and are moving forward with direction.
I hear what you're saying, and I can personally identify with it. I appreciate your honesty. Shoot me a fr if you'd like man, I'm just another addict trying to stay clean (and get shredded haha).
well fellas I just participated in the craziest N/A shit yet! we had a long time member go out, for the last few months hes been running around getting high and fucking everything off. we got word he was at the dope house and went over there 5 cars deep, 18 of us recovering addicts surrounded the house and started banging on windows and doors yelling his name! needless to say he got kicked out of the dope house as they didnt want the attention! LMAO those tweekers freaked the fuck out! he was pissed at first, ofcource what addict wouldnt be mad for fucking up his high, but we got him in the car and he broke down crying, all that pain and guilt and shame just came crumbling down when he seen we loved him. checked him into rehab and we are taking turns visiting him for the next few months! shit like this that makes me grateful for the fellowship and proud to be a member!
Thats great! Wish people had done something like that for me. I was left blowing in the wind. I had to reach rock bottom before I could help myself.
You got a good group at your meeting, very pro active by the sounds of things!
Good shit bro! That's what this thing is all about right there!
WeatherwedHoly sh-t. You run with a hardcore group bro. Hardcore- meaning they actually mean it when they say they care.
Some old school gangsta shit. Love it. I know they tell us not to do it but... Sometimes a mofo gotta do what what he has to for the follks he cares about! Once the disease is active it takes some major stuff to stop.
Thanks for the reminder. I believe most of us are one or two bad decisions away from neckin weanies in the projects!
Hello to my fellow addicts
Being new here this site has given me lots to think about and learn before jumpin into a cycle. Been readin n studying about a month. Im 50. Clean 5 years. Liftin on and off for 20 years. 185. Not sure of bf. but lean swimmers type build.. Can eat pretty much what i want w/o gettin fat. My concern is pct. being an ex herion addict. I want to be safe and not settin my self up for a bunch of emotional crap at the end of a good cycle bustin my ass. It seems to me that adex has a larger potential for estro rebound. Any words of wisdom or advice? Im going to run test p 100 mg eod to kick and 500 mg test e week 12 to 14 weeks.
Nolva and clomid for pct. tryin to get a bead on which ai is best. I hope i dont get flamed. Im really tryin to learn here and want to thickin up some and add some zip to me and my gals life. Thanks. The Saint
Welcome brother! This is a very valid concern as no one wants to be dragging ass through pct and feel like shit and potentially relapse because you want to feel right. That emotional crash from a bad pct is no bueno. Something I learned before my last cycle was to run adex up to pct, then switch to aromasin during. Aromasin is a suicide inhibitor. It will actually kill the estro instead of just binding to it like adex. It's when you stop the adex that allthe estrogen floating around can then bind to a receptor and cause rebound and emotions and gyno due to lower test high estro.
This really helped me last cycle and made fora much smoother recovery! Shoot me a fr if you want!
Fr sent. Thanks my man!
Accepted
dredayNo offense but to be honest dont call it recovery lounge when we all still have an adictive personality y we are on aas
I hate to tell you this but if your a recovering addict you will always have an addictive personality, if it isnt drugs it WILL manifest itself in many other areas of your life, women, internet, porn, work, steroids, cigarettes, coffee, energy drinks, and those are just the ones ive been addicted to since getting clean. get into the steps and youll find yours if you havent already!
X2 bro! Gambling, spending money, training...
What are you talking about?? Steroids are not addictive. And speak for yourself about your addictive personality.
dredayWow fr sent i dont think u understand ehat im sayin bro
7 year anniversary today. Thanks to AA my sponsor and the fellowship of men and women who keep the crap between my ears in check and all of you here at eroids.
I Thank You
mk
dreday12 steps is bs u want to be sober or not u know how many times when i wasnt fully clean i would go there to meet dope dealers congrats on bein sober bro but u did it not AA
While I don't fully agree with the tone of this statement. I do agree with the commentary. I live in an area where these programs are not very helpful. While I'm sure there is a good one somewhere, I haven't found one that isn't infested with strung out felons only trying to get their green cards signed. I get what you're saying about the pitfalls of the program, but to say it doesn't work for anyone is ridiculous.
oh you say 12 step programs don't work?
Tell me more why your browsing recovery pages
(insert willy wonka meme here)
dredayUr a fat piece of shit
certainly you have not worked a program, and clearly NEED to, but if your gonna talk like this go somewhere else before i ban you
Wow. You're so ignorant I almost feel sorry for you.
dredayI take back all my douchebag comments i apologize bros
we all have our own paths to follow. What works for some may not work for others. I hope and pray for all the sick and suffering. I too could be one of them If I don't remain vigilent. thank you for being humble enough to apologize, and teaching me another life lesson. peace bro
sounds like you should do some step work
Bahaha!
WeatherwedYour comments are offensive. I would suggest being more respectful, but Im not expecting much out of a guy who uses an AA meeting to score dope.
You are ignorant and disrespectful. Why don't you worry about yourself. Just cause you are one of the scum bags going to meetings to cop dope, doesn't mean everyone is. AA and NA saved my life as well as many of my friends.
dredayIm 4 years clean my man and i wasnt disrespectful
Congrats. 12 steps are like a software patch for some bad programming! 24 at a time!
Hell ya! Congrats brother!!
waltrcongrats dude, i'm only on 13 months =(
but it's been the best 13 months of my life in years i can say that much at least ;D
7 years, thats an epic feat bro! Keep the good work up.