I've fucked up
Yes the title is right... I have fucked up good and proper.
Diagnosed with hypergonadism and a pituitary adenoma. After they found I had low test I started self prescribing. It was a number of months before seeing the endo. Told the endo what is done, they were fine with it but just wanted me to stop the test to get my numbers down so I could start a proper prescription.... This took a lot longer than I thought and all the awful symptoms I used to feel came back with a vengeance, I was considering committing suicide.
So the last test came back with my free test at 9.6nmol/l reference range being between 9-29. I felt like hell. My GP said my test was fine and would have no affect on my mood, aches and pains and lethargy anyway.
The endo was on holiday so I couldn't do anything till the endo got back.... So knowing my test was still dropping from 9.6 I had the bright idea of introducing a therapeutic dose of NPP (200mg per week) to relieve the joint pains I was suffering from. I also added in EQ to try and ward of muscle atrophy as this would only add to my ever increasing depression.
So I was only on these 2 compounds for 2 weeks before getting my bloods checked again and guess what...... In that 2 week my testosterone is now at an almight 59, 29 being the high end of normal. So now I'm pissed off because I'm back to square one due to my own stupidity, but also I'm confused as to how EQ and NPP can significantly raise testosterone
- Bookmark
- 0
- 0
I'm guessing you mean Hypogonadisim? I too have been diagnosed with the same pituitary adenoma causing a low T. I went to see a surgeon and they could operate but its a risky procedure with no assurance that I would get my T levels back. Treatment is either Testosterone Enanthate or Cyp at between 100 Mg to 200 mg a week or stimulation of the gonads with HCG or Clomid. I do both so I still have sizable gonads.
My advise is take matters into your own hands and do what the doctors would do / should do anyway.
I do advocate using the HCG 3x a week, I feel this is a better long tern solution at least for me natural test gives me better libido and erections! It's actually cheap and easy to use, just get your blood work done every 4 months to see where your test and estrogen levels are, also give blood to have your red blood cell count checked. I have a source for the HCG and Clomid that's cheap and rock solid. I don't mind sharing but I'm sure it's against the rules so PM me if you want it or have any questions. I have been dealing with this for over 5 years and my doctor is a world known expert. Everything will be back to normal, actually better than ever once you get on a standard therapy. I have never felt better and i'm over 50...
Thanks for taking the time to write this, I've actualy started on a dose of 20mg test prop a day, couldn't last any longer. I honestly can believe the difference in me since last Friday, it's bloody miraculous. My wife says I look like a clouds been lifted from above my head. I'm going to carry this on. Just recently got in touch with a very good specialist who deals directly with pituitary disorders and hypogonadism. He's wrote some articles on it and he's agreed to see me privately, he knows I have started self treating again. Hopefully this guy will give me all the guidance I need. Going to send you a Friend request and maybe pick your brains. Thankyou again
Nice reply, +1
Thanks for sharing your story (+1), it's not easy to admit your mistakes. Good luck man I hope this all gets sorted out for you soon.
Hey Musclepants1, thank you for sharing your story with the community. It sounds like the detective work going on with you and Makwa is on the right track. Please keep us posted as your weeks unfold. And dude, if possible, control you mind and let go of those suicidal thoughts. You're in a valley at the moment, that's all. You'll be back on top of the mountain soon enough. Don't give up.
Thanks pal, it's hard work but I know once the test starts kicking in I can get my life back on track without the suicidal thoughts.
I'm normally a very happy go lucky person when my
Hormones are in check so I know I'll be good soon.
I realy appreciate people like you writing what you have. Thankyou so much
I know what it is to be low, low, low. What sucks the worst is, depression rarely has anything to do with happiness. It's ALL CHEMICAL. I had depression for years, regardless of the fact that I was happy. The lethargy built up for years until finally I knew that something was chemically wrong with me. When I discovered I had low T, it took another year of research and education here on eroids before I finally pulled the trigger on starting my own cruise.
My life changed for the better within a few weeks. The lethargy lifted. I was smiling all the time randomly. Literally, I was alive again.
What this site taught me was the truth.
AAS isn't bad. AAS isn't good. AAS is medicine.
When combined with the right lifestyle, it's powerful medicine that can benefit your life.
When AAS is improperly used or abused, it can fuck up your body, your mind, and your life.
I didn't give up. Testosterone injections literally have changed my life for the better, from the inside out. It's not magic. It's a pain in the ass (literally). But it's the medicine my life needed! And you'll be dialed in too, brother, soon enough. Don't give up! (I know you won't. You're a man, not a boy.) Rooting for you, and all who read this. Let us be strong together.
True words right there. The thing that keeps me stronger when I'm at my lowest is knowing how good I felt when I self prescribed the t. So I know my life will change for the better. I just realy wanted the NHS on board to keep me on top of everything. I've sent my endo a heartfelt email about everything and all I was is a plan from her how we can proceed and eventually get my life on track within the guidelines of the NHS. I've also said I've now started self prescribing again this last couple of days cos enough is enough. If all this fails my wife has found an endo privately who specialises in hypogonadism and pituitary disease. So all isn't lost. I'll get there one way or another.
Thankyou very much for your kind words, it means a lot and I mean that wholeheartedly
You're a fighter. You don't give up easily, I can tell. Yup, once a man realizes that he has a medical need for testosterone, then gets and uses it, it's hard to imagine going back to life with low T. I admit, I don't want to be dependent on ANY SUBSTANCE, whether it be alcohol, nicotine, or caffeine, let alone a pharmaceutical drug (like test). However, my life improved immensely once I took my health into my own hands. Only time will tell if it was the right or wrong decision. I'm not a person who simply advises people to recklessly jump onto using testosterone without having done a shit ton of research or blood tests. However, I've helped two men with their own education by leading them to this site and pointing them in the right direction for their own learning. One of those men took the plunge and it's incredible to see his life turned around too.
Test isn't magic. It's a necessary hormone in a man's (and woman's) body that is imperative to a good quality of life. It's the exact medicine I needed. My depression has been gone for over a year, and my body is healed. I'll never go back to the mental fogginess, the depression, the lack of lust for life, ever again. I've signed my contract with the devil to be a life long slave to the pin. It aint glorious. As you know, it sucks, but when it's the medicine you need to live the life you want to live, then you make the appropriate decisions accordingly.
Sorry to get long winded. It's what I do. I'm just passionate about men being smart with test and TRT. I'm still on my own self prescribed cruise, but I have a doc's appointment this spring. I'll be talking with me doc then about my choices and go from there. Best of luck to you, Musclepants, and you get your health care providers on board too. No matter what happens out there, we're all in good hands with the eroids community, no doubt.
Truth. I feel the same. I never want to go back to the pit of nothingness. All I want is to live well, really well.
Musclepants - Hang in there. Maybe use some Proviron to keep you feeling up while you go without the Test. Just make sure you stop before your blood draw.
Blood results are here
https://www.eroids.com/pics/blood-results-after-2-weeks-eq-and-npp-only
Sounds to me like either your EQ or NPP was test instead. What were your LH/FSH numbers?
My plan now is to just go back on test prop at 100mg per week until my endo appointment in May, I might aswel have some relief for a while now
I've fucked up
No, your plan should be to follow what the endo told you, there is a reason he told you to stay off of everything until your next appointment, he wants to diagnose your levels by being COMPLETELY OFF. In 3 months either your endocrine system will kick back in or it won't and only the 3 months time will tell. You don't think when you go back to have another test he won't know you hopped back on? Endo's are not stupid, Man up and get through the next 3 months without a crutch and see if your body will start again. There are plenty of people in this world with the same symptoms as you that do not go out and kill themselves and they actually live with it for years if not forever. Do it right or just cancel your appt and self medicate.
Do you know know my endocrine system was fucked before I touched testosterone which is why the endo said I needed to be on a proper prescription of Nebido when my levels for lower. That was her decision. It just so happens she went back to India for an extended holiday so I was left in the lurch
It's all well and good you saying follow the endos plan.... I was thinking exactly the same until it got too hard and everything was a struggle. I changed as a person and I couldn't cope with life anymore. I held out as long as I could until I found a way of killing myself, then my boys came In my head and I injected testosterone..... Fuck that...... The feeling wasn't worth ruining my life, my wife's life and my sons lives. I felt that bad
Just like you I had very low test mine was caused by environmental and brain issues. I was depressed and I had no drive for sex or life. I was like that for 5 long years, 5 years. Never once did I think about suicide or death. I moved and had to wait to see a new endo and he took me completely off for 2 months. For those 2 months I was rock bottom, never once was their a suicidal thought but I kept myself busy. Ask anyone here that does a pct if they hold a razorblade in their hand. You might need a support group for dependency issues, you said you felt like shit until you took a shot of test, thats what addicts say. You have made yourself chemically dependant. 9.6 is not low at all, that is roughly 4-600nl. Also your lsh and fsh being zero was because of you cycling. It will stay tanked until it starts to go again. That takes a month or two, exactly what your endo is making you wait. You will NEVER have zero unless you are castrated and/or cycling or trt. Even myself waiting 2 months I had my lsh and fsh show 10-20nl but total test was worse then before at 160. Free test was very low. If having low test honestly makes you want to kill yourself you need a therapist because that is not normal at all. My grandfather just had his test come back a couple weeks ago, he has 30nl test. Not a single thought of suicide. He loves life. Go get a full blood panel and a full physical because you may need medication not aas.
All I've got to say to you
Is my
Life changes completely from injecting between 100
And 200 mg
Of test per week. It took about 6'weeks but all of a sudden I felt able to get out
Of bed in the morning. I could take my kids out and run around with them... It was actualy miraculous the difference
You know what I don't give a fuck I have had to tell my mam everything which broke my heart but she seen a huge difference in me between no test.... I hate everyone...... And a trt dose I have a great social life
You're quite angry against people suffering with low test. You say my LH and FSH was low when I cycled, I have never cycled in my life. I felt shit for years and got low levels of test as in 73..... 300-800 being normal. LH
And FSH were
Like 1. Something which is fuck all.... So what are you talking about.... This is all before I ever took testosterone
Now im confused, I saw your blood test, wasn't that when you self prescribed? Im not angry at trt people, I have a hard time when people say low test makes them want to kill themselves, that in itself is a sign of other issues as on this site you can see all the people that cycle and do a pct, their numbers hit zero and not a single one of them has a hangmans noose ready. Im only saying maybe you are approaching this close minded.
I understand exactly what you are saying but my first endo appointment ended in her saying I needed to be on testosterone because of what my test results showed before I had ever hopped on any single thing other than creatine. I had a testicular torsion which she said may have been the cause. I will not lie to the endo nor have I ever before. She knows my test is fucked, she just wanted 2 low results to start me in test. She got her first result when I was natural then the last result is when it's been fucked up because of the bunk EQ which more than likely had test in it. It's not a case of manning up, I have felt like shit since I was 24 years old.... I am now 35. I've had 2 toddlers to look after, sometimes for days and nights at a time due to my wife's work. She works in the medical field and knows fine well I need testosterone to function / not feel suicidal. So before you post shit
Like that get your facts right first. I love my kids more than anything and just want to do the best for them but when you
Have low test
All your life
It
Makes
It
So hard to get up in the night with them, get up early in the morning. Run around and play with them. All I ever want to do is sleep and lie on the sofa. The only time I felt OK was when I self medicated with testosterone, all of a sudden I had a great sex life with my wife. I had so much fun with my kids/ energy to run around with them and play different games. I had confidence to speak my mind at work rather than hiding in the toilets.... The list goes on and on
Both LH and FSH were less than 0.3 but they've been almost that low since the first time I was tested before taking any test. I thought one of them had to be test, there's no other explanation. Obviously I can't mention brands and sources though
If LH/FSH are basically zero, which they are, and your test level is elevated then it is pretty cut and dry that one of those was test or had test in it. I would be having a little chat with the source. Post the bloods up and call out the source in the pic section.
there is also the possibility of the blood testing method being the wrong one, and getting false test lebvel readings from the NPP.
LAbcorp non- lc/ms test method = false level
I don't know it was through the NHS, I'm not sure how they do it
there is a test method, I think its called ECLIA that reads deca and npp as testosterone.
https://www.eroids.com/forum/general/general-talk/update-false-reading-h...
The problem is the npp was a promo from one source and the EQ was bought from a different source so unless I was going to send them off to test which I know nothing about, there's nothing I can do.
That is a conundrum. PM Sent.
Replied, bloods will be up in due course