The Exxon Valdiz was a merchant oil tanker that went down near Alaska years ago after the captain forgot to set his cell phone alarm clock----Fucking Jack Daniels. The result was a grounding of the ship that tore the shit out of it and turned the surrounding ocean black.
Shortly after the crash, college students and housewives were out to clean up and save the pelicans. The pelicans had turned black and once you go black you never go back, and that's especially true of pelicans covered in Castrol GT 40X. I mean, I remember the images on the news---they were scrubbin the fuck out out the pelicans (who were pissed) and all they could get was gray----dark grey. Finally, one of the fat-ass housweives says, "Somebody get me some Dawn dishwashing liquid---that's what I use on Harold's back when his zits get out of control".
Sure enough, they made the pelicans white, the shit got cleaned up after 14 years, and DAWN comes out of it all looking like a superhero on steroids. So I'm in the grocery store (I like to spend time there) and in Isle 5, I see a bottle of Dawn. It had a caption that read "DAWN SAVES WILDLIFE" and a picture of a pair of hands cradling a baby duck..........and the baby duck was smiling. Awwwwww, so sweet. I almost teared up at the sight of the little fella. But then I realized it was smiling.
IT WAS FUCKING SMILING!!!! They made the baby duck smile, and they know god damn well baby ducks don't smile. It was like the duck was saying ..."Oh thank God for Dawn...I thought I was dead, but Dawn has given the gift of baby ducks back to the world". Long live Dawn---they are the saviours of the world.
NEWSFLASH----Dawn wasnt the only degreaser they used on the pelicans----there are others out there. I use Mean Green on my Gerbils and it works just fine (fucking KY cant seem to make a fur-friendly lube). But you Don't see Mean Green with a picture of a shit-covered gerbil on thier bottles saying "Mean Green saves relationships".
That shit happened dacades ago...ducks werent even in the vacinity. They used a smiling baby duck on the bottle because an ugly pissed off pelican covered in oil and a dead, half-eaten fish hanging out of its mouth isnt shit people want on (or near) their dishes. Another example of corporate greed...smh
I'd like to know what effect on the environment all the chemicals used to make Dawn do to the environment---they probably have killed more people than animals they have saved ====who the fuck knows.
Anyway, just some shit that bothered me today....I gotta go sober up.
and fuck Dawn with their deceptive shit.