Engineereddisaster's picture
Engineereddisaster
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Apparently not green enough

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Hello Bro's and Brozette's. Just thought I'd throw something past you all and ask your opinion.
So, I'm not a "Green" guy. I don't recycle. I drive a deisel powered pickup that due to a horsepower chip smokes like a mofo when I accelerate. When I'm not driving that, I drive a truck with the catylatic converter ripped off, with straight pipes running to dual super turbo's. I burn car tires for fun if I'm bored because I like the way that it smells, Sometimes I'll burn old couches if I'm cold, and after I shit I use non-biodegradable wet-wipes to wipe my ass because they clean the best. You get the picture.
For the most part however, I try not to break any littering laws. That's about the extent of my greeness. I'm sorry if that offends you.
So this morning after my GTL, I'm running a little late, so I load a dozen hard-boiled eggs into a sack and decide to eat them on the way to work. So I peal each egg and afterwards throw the shell out the window, eat the white, and then toss the yellow. I do this methodically as I work my way through the eggs. I notice behind me is a black Prius, So I make sure that as I throw the egg parts out the window that I throw out and down as to miss the said Prius. I'm courteous like that.
As I get within a mile of my office the Prius pulls up to the side of me, and it's a lady, late 40's, slightly overweight, has a cute little afro with a chin strap. She rolls her window down and I notice that she has tears streaming down her cheaks. My window is already down because I'm ready to toss more egg parts.
This lady whom I don't know yells at me and says: "STOP LITTERING YOU FILTHY PIG!"
I was so taken back that I didn't know what to say. I lift up my hand and show her the egg shells and say loudly yet sheepishly: "It's just egg shells."
The lady does'nt say anything as she quickly jerked her head forward, (I noticed her third chin jiggled a bit as she did it..Really cute.)
So here I am in my office, wondering if I need to change? Am I not environmentally sensitive enough to function in a normal society? Is it really bad to throw biodegradable egg parts out the window? My Mother told me it's ok, so shouldn't that be enough?
Please people help me. Next time this lady may choose to kick my ass and I don't want that to happen.
Am I in the wrong?
All my love, no homo
Ed

Engineereddisaster's picture

Sorry brother,
I'm a pussy when it comes to old fat women.

swolltroll's picture

lol she probably was pissed your wasting food. num num num

Garageth's picture

I have found the best way to deal with Prius drivers (and others of that type) is to explain that the egg shells, yellows, bread slices etc, are all biodegradable, and that I am doing my part to help make sure the wild animals and little lost doggies are being fed, and that I drive a diesel because it is 33% more efficient than a gasoline engine, and then as a tear comes to their eye and they take a deep sobbing breath, I spool the turbo up to about 15lbs of boost and coat the entire inside of their car with soot while engulfing their car in a black cloud!

Engineereddisaster's picture

I'm thinking that I like the Garageth.

Garageth's picture

↑↑↑ Notices that ED did NOT say "NO HOMO!" at the end of that post and quickly looks for Goth or Tread to go hide behind (No Homo)

eastcoastmuscle's picture

thats messed up

Garageth's picture

Aint nothing wrong with a tweaked diesel. I stil have a blast with the built 460 in my 1ton, but the tweaked powerstroke in my excursion is just as much fun. Like the other night this kid was zooming from each stoplight in a nearly new 1500 Ram with 5.7 emblems on the tailgate. Pulled up next to him and dropped the "hey, that got a hemi?" line on him. Reached up and turned the power to level 5 and when he said yes, dropped the throttle and left him seeing nothing but smoke and tailights when the light turned green. :)yp

Garageth's picture

THAT I can agree with 100% Waaaaay too many kids in cars they haven't earned, have no respect for, and have no clue how to handle. Every now and then you run into one that is busting his ass at jobs to pay for the thing, but sadly they are the exception to the rule.

XvBeast's picture

bro egg shells are pure calcium, that shit will make ur teeth regrow, but its ok bro, i got some thing to cheer u up,i know ur feeling down right now, chck out my new pic son
http://www.eroids.com/pics/current-pic
no chaser

bigrigger's picture

does Tread appreciate the wipes

roxilabs's picture

egg shells are one of the most reliable composts around so you ARE actually helping out
THANK YOU for doing your part ED!

Engineereddisaster's picture

Thanks for the encouragement Rox. I try brother.

Nitti's picture

I'm not quite at Tree Hugger level but I do recycle. I take the time to separate aluminum , plastic, paper. I never did before until the city came and started leaving citations in my mailbox. They would send out a team of workers to dig through ppls trash and see if they're putting recycle goods in the trash. Well 3 $55 tickets later, I started recycling. As for littering, I never do it. I feel bad would do it before. Sounds cheesy but I hate the site of trash in the streets. I'm only one person but I play my part. I have a mini trash can in my car now which is also green. I used to drive a big silverado but am now driving a very fuel efficient Honda SUV. So although I'm only one person, you're only one person, if we all thought the same way and just took a few extra minutes to recycle and not litter, we would have a much cleaner environment. Much easier on the eyes as well. I know that Al Gore is on to something. Global warming is for real. It's obvious. The intensity of storms , the consistency , th much milder winters. So maybe we need to be a little more green. Egg shells, that's not littering. They're organic matter and biodegradable. Plastics, metal, trash, I'd say let's not throw it out the window anymore. Just my $0.02.

Engineereddisaster's picture

Lol. Brother, where I come from you've already got your arms wrapped around the tree and are beggining to do hip thrusts! LOl Not that there is anything wrong with that.
I actually live far enough away from a recycling facility that it would be worse for the environment for me to drive my recyclables to be recycled.
As for the Al Gore inconvenience... I don't buy it. I've got no problem with people believing it, but I don't. You've gotta show me the money on that one. Besides, I'm all for a warmer winter. I'm freezing my ass off here.
I do agree though, I hate seeing litter--any litter. So I don't myself.
Now, as for the egg shells, I've gotta think that littering egg parts is actually better for the environment than throwing them in the garbage and using up a trash bag right?

Nitti's picture

You know that an average temperature change of only a few degrees is what caused the ice age? I feel ya broski but either way its just as easy to recycle. It's mandatory here. We don't take it to a recycle joint , the city picks it up with the trash. :-)

levelup's picture

im sure the wildlife appreciated the calorie dense yolk snack...i dont see any problem with it. with that being said, how big a lady are we talking about?

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Engineereddisaster's picture

She wasn't that big, maybe 5'1" 245.
Somewhat attractive.

Engineereddisaster's picture

Yeah, she hates is when I chase after the skinny girls.

killroy's picture

lol! 5'1, 245 and somewhat attractive? you like 'em big huh?

levelup's picture

thats a fine line there, if she can cause bodily harm you might want to comply with her standards. if you think you can hold your own keep throwing the shells and yolks

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