Cleyon's picture
Cleyon
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Weird situation at work

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OK, this is kindof a long story, but I need some input on how to handle it.

I've got a co-worker that is a shy bookish guy, but usually very nice, and easy to get along with. Today however, he was being a complete jerk. Short with everyone, rude, and seemed like he was about to cry a couple of times. Now I know the guy is divorced (had a lot of conversations with him while he was going through it), and this seemed kinda the same way he did when he was going through that.

Well I brought him into a conference room and asked him what was going on. The short version of it is that his favorite porn site was down, and he checks it like every 15 minutes. I told him that he shouldn't be doing that at work, because it's a termination offense, but he wasn't worried about that because he checked it on his phone. MMMMmmmm OK?

Well, about ten minutes ago I went to the restroom, and while I was occupying my throne, someone came in and shortly there after I could hear the unmistakable sounds of someone jerking it. I tried to finish up quick and GTFOOT, and ended up exiting my stall the same time as the other guy... who was of course Mr. Porn.

Do I tell anyone about this? Confront him?

Who in the world would yank their chain at work! REALLY?!

th3joker's picture

Has he had a head injury or a stroke at some point, things like that can give you a sex drive off the charts.

th3joker's picture

Pmsl I just realised what I wrote then, I think he's had a few 'strokes' lately

jab's picture

Dammit!! Why did u go and tell everybody??? I promise I'll stop tomorrow........or maybe Monday! Promise!!

Engineereddisaster's picture

You need to confront that wanker. Tell him that you didn't appreciate having to listen to him slapping his salami while you were pushing out a stink pickle. Tell him that if he doesn't give you 500 dollars by Friday that you are going to turn his wanking ass in. Blackmail is always the best answer. If he doesn't pay, just stab his ass after work. That is always the noble solution as opposed to ratting him out.

sc2216's picture

Or tell him your'e gonna sign his kid up for soccer lol Smile

Engineereddisaster's picture

That might be a little extreme bro.

RonMexico's picture

I would leave it be. Who cares if he is a compulsive wanker.

Fullypumped's picture

Ive Jerked off at work! Whats the problem???

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ruski's picture

Ask if u can join

ac89's picture

Tell him to do it in his car on lunch

thepullmanator's picture

Only on this website....lol this is why i love it u wont catch this kinda stuff on other forums... Tell him to knock that shit off give him a choice knock it off at work or else... Maybe his porn webite finally just came on and he did at work what he couldnt do at home lol .....see if it continues play it out see what happends

MisterP's picture

next time you see him you tell him to leave a blank envelope with 10% of his weekly salary on your desk at the end of every week. If he won't comply you report the creepy fuck....if he complies you got some extra geld to buy some swag!!! Either way you win.... If anyone asks about the envelope, you don't know? It's sitting on your desk, so you kept it. DONT LET HIM GIVE IT TO YOU!!!

manbearpig's picture

so weird... the guy seems lonely and apparently has an obsession with whacking it. i was going to say maybe you should find a girl to hook him up with, but that might end in date rape...

sc2216's picture

for god's sake, let him jerk off, poor guy... don't rat him out please

sc2216's picture

ahahaha how did you know???

fast48's picture

Worked out in the stall. Lol! No need to tell anyone...and make him wash prior to handshakes. Or Dutch rudders.

B F rube's picture

Are double Dutch rudders non homo if theres no eye contact?

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j0n's picture

Maybe he's running bigD's test and can't help it

ac89's picture

I agree, maybe jab him with some deca real quick to shut him down for a while

OmNom's picture

Dude what?.. This may be why he's divorced?....... Maybe try "hey creepy co-worker with the glazed hands, STOP that your using up all the toilet paper." I don't get why he can't do that at home................

B F rube's picture

Who the fuck and why the fuck would anyone beat off at work. Makes you wonder how many people actually beat off at work.

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everclese's picture

What ur workin on a house for somebody and a bored housewife seduces you inside and beats you off in her kitchen? Does that count? cause then I'm guilty :(

B F rube's picture

I'm all for it in that case. If only I was that lucky

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fast48's picture

Almost as good as a backyard bonus! Shakin the bush boss! Lol

everclese's picture

Well, I mean, who was I to tell her no? I took one for the team that day bro... lol

Augustine5i's picture

He was letting go of some stress... poor fella. He is a guy who just likes porn and beating his meat! Now you guys have a sort of bond.

youngtricep98's picture

lmao! thats a weird, almost creepy. dont get me wrong i love porn, but at work? as they say on espn "C'MON MAN!" know your boundaries!

youngtricep98's picture

honestly, you warned the guy. now maybe im just an ass but id feed him to the lions.