Soccer? WTF
I've got a little boy that is 5 years old. Since conception, I have, on a daily basis drilled the sport of wrestling into his head. As a baby, he was attending wrestling matches, chilling in the wrestling room taking it all in, watching videos, etc. I have a wrestling room in my house that in the evenings he and I practice. This past year was his first year in competetive wrestling and he absolutely loved it. He just couldn't get enough as he finished his first season undeafeated. Admittedly, I taught him how to win using moves that capitalized on the weak necks of children his age, and some concealed small joint manipulation. I'm sorry, but that is all part of the Ed wrestling program. It worked, so if you don't like that you can lick my balls.
At any rate this is what happened; to my dissapointment and without my knowlege, my wife signed my kid up for a girls sport.. That's right, soccer. She breaks the news to me last night. I'm like WTF woman? What are you doing to my boy? She explains, all while showing some cleavage and talking sexy, so of course, I'm a sucker and I go along with it. Well, this morning I get a call from my little boy. He's all excited as he has returned from his first practice, tells me about his jersey, and how fun soccer is. In my heart, I want to yell at the boy, but because of my love for this little man, I pretend to be excited. After a few minutes of listening to the excitement, I tell him that I love him and hang up the phone. I bury my head into my hands and want to cry, but the masculinity in me hasn't allowed that since 1982.
What the hell am I supposed to do? Soccer? Can there be a gayer sport than soccer? (Not that there is anything wrong with that.)
I love my little boy and want him to be happy so I'm sure tonight, on my way home from work...I guess I'll have to stop by the sporting goods store and buy a damn soccer ball. Sonofa bitch. How fricken embarassing is that? I'd rather be purchasing something more masculine, like an economy pack of tampons.
All my love No Homo,
Ed
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Lol. Hook us up with a link. I'd like to revive this topic.
zewiEvery time i drive buy a soccer game i don't care what age. I want to stop my car take out a big ass knife, run over grab the ball stab the shit out of it, and
Yell please go play a real sport!!
Every time i drive by a soccer game, the parents, the crowd--no one is watching until someone here's the coach say go go--then all the heads turn because there might be a score. Then back to talking to each other drinking coffee or playing with phones.
Parents let kids play soccer--because parents can no longer beat their kids, so they sign them up for soccer to get kicked in the shin and run around for an hour. And then come back home to watch their kid go up stairs in the room and take a nap, and be tired all day were the parent no longer has to listen to their smart ass.
As for a professional soccer i have never seen a sober person walk into the stadium they are all drunk before they get inside, why cause its 3hrs of sucking, and the only way to get through it is be drunk jump up and down, blow horns, and wait until its over. However, every once in awhile you pay attention, cause some guy might score. Rather than that its back to drinking jumping up and down and blowing horns.
Its the only place you can drink constantly and not have to pay attention to the game and act like you were in high school again. Blow horns jump up and down dance and drink.
Soccer is the worst sport to pay money to watch. It a bunch of cry babies, that get slide tackled and roll around on the ground acting like its the end of the world. What a bunch of pussies. Id rather go to a porn site and see pussies, i don't need to watch soccer, trust me the pron sit 1000 times better.
That's some inspiring shit right there bro. Lol. I have a friend who's dad was a soccer coach. He would tell all the other kids that his dad was in jail for rape because he was embarrassed to say what his dad really did.
zewiyeah he was watching soccer.lol...
but yeah its the truth though what you said.
Hey mate it depends on what type of wrestling you are talking about. If it is Grecko Roman then I understand your pain but if it's that WWF crap then Soccer is a big step up for his manlyness. And as far as I am concerned Soccer should only ne played at the Homo Olympics with all their other ball sports. hahahaha
Just to clarify, I'm talking Greco Roman, freestyle, and collegic style wrestling not professional.
Yeah thats a diffrent kettle of fish then. That is actually a tough sport. Soccer may actually help him out in the long run. I think you should look at how you can cross train him for both sports. Well soccer training to benefit his wrestling
next thing you know, she signs you up here!
Lol. I know the BFG is feeling the soccer hate.
Hope Solo plays soccer...Boom
CleyonAnd SHE's a GIRL! Dude, that's like saying it's OK for a guy to bleed out of their vagina because a hot girl does it.
Look i dont need your crap. Im in love with her and thats it. So save it for someone else:)
back off bro she is my future wife!!!
hahahahaha you're a joker.i told her what you said and she just shook her head...sorry
CleyonI don't blame you, she's gorgeous! Still doesn't make soccer manly.
BURN!
Pro soccer is a joke. All the diving and pretending to be hurt is an act to draw penalties. That being said, Highschool and college socer is much different. I played for ten years until graduating highscool and I can promise you its not as gay as watching proffesional would make somebody believe...
CleyonSo they don't have hairspray time outs in HS and college soccer?
haha nope i guess im gonna have to spread the news. Theres almost no diving in HS either except from the occasional group of foreigners
Foreingers.... Pffft.
CleyonHere in Texas little league soccer is dominated by hispanic kids (I'm not going to make any mention of the legality of their status here). It's pretty sad when they get to HS, and realize that their sisters are banging the football players, and nobody is banging them.
I agree with FVC soccer does take a lot more skill and a life time of developing that skill to play at the high level. I played over seas for a short while and It is a different game over there. The crowds get into the game way more than football over hear (more than SEC football).
as far as the no win shit, that is the biggest pot of liberal shit out there that is one of the root causes in turning kids into pussies that get butt hurt when they are called a name or something politically incorrect.
Get him in jui jistu/ sambo/ MMA he will love it
That's funny. Back when told him that I signed him up for wrestling he said:"but dad I don't have any fighting gloves.". I told him that in wrestling you don't punch your opponent you just wrestle. He sat there for a minute deep in thought and after a few seconds looked up and said:"well if I can't punch, I don't want to wrestle.".
I thought it was cute.
After being in soccer shape and starting mma is was going in circles around everyone from my cardio. Being able to do 90 minutes of sprints will give someone some insane cardio.
Then I quit because I wanted to get big
If the boy likes it be supportive(sounds like you are) he can play more than 1 sport. I played football, basketball, and baseball and I havent done a damn thing w/ my life, If my school wud've only had wrestling... ?
Lol. After work I bought him a soccer ball (so homo) and we played for a while tonight. He seemed to like it and is pretty good naturally. We had a good time, and even though the sport is totally homo, If my little boy is happy then I am happy. That's just the way I roll.
Don't fret bro!!!
You got to look at it in a POSITIVE manner. You don't want your kid to be one of those fat awkward kids who sits around all day playing Nintendo or some stupid shit like Angry Birds! Although soccer seems like a sissy sport (IT IS!!!) and you'd rather have him wrestling, there's something very positive happening. He'll build up his cardio running up & down the field, he'll learn teamwork AND he'll start building really nice quads! Since he cant hit the gym to do squats its probably the next best thing for quad development! Some friends of mine who HAVE NEVER touched a weight in the gym have some of the nicest NATURAL quads I've seen from playing soccer!
Just make sure he's playing in a league where they keep score. I have a nephew who's parents ONLY let him play in 'Non-Scoring' leagues...you know... The ones where they dont keep score.. Everyone gets the ball and No One wins & No One Loses!!! WTF??!!! It's so the kids feelings don't get hurt. My nephew is almost 10yrs old and he cries and quits whenever my 4yr old him is beating him at ANYTHING...whether it be air-hockey, video games or races...because he doesn't have that competitive edge inside him!!! It's the wussification of America. The kid ACTUALLY whimpers & cries when he loses at a fucking video game and says " That's not nice when you win...it makes me feel bad"..... My 4 yr old is confused... We go to watch my nephew play in the 'No Score' league and my kid asks after the game.."Did M%#^*€£ win? Ive tried explaing that nobody wins in his league, but, my kid dont get it.. We live by the boardwalk in Jersey and we play games all the time. He understands.. You either WIN or LOSE!
My nephew is 10 and he's never tasted defeat or victory(well he's tasted defeat at my sons hand) but, the kid is going to have a serious wake up call when he gets into the real world... That's if mommy & daddy don't shelter him for the rest of his life!
I hear ya bro. I hate the "no one loses" mentality.
Unfortunately that just isn't life.
As for the quads. I guess that's a good point. I should look at this as a positive because it sure beats the video game b.s. He's only 38 lbs right now but you bet your ass he's squating three plates. He fricken loves his Prop, Halo, tren stack.
Hercules..Hercules...Hercules!!!
I found this inspiring video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXDSwk5wD0M
CleyonBWAHAHAHAHAHA!! That was beautiful!
AnonIve seen other posts and based on that Im hoping this is a joke. If not I feel bad for that kid or any kid who has a dad like that.
tread-mHe's a piss poor excuse for a father brother, look at his pic!
Ouch bro. Nothing hurts worse than the truth.
tread-mI know bud, had to be said! What kind of father throws his son into soccer? Gay should be a choice, not something your parents sign you up for!
I am ashamed of myself.
CleyonI think ED now has an argument to make to his wife. Just keep your eyes up high so the sweater puppies don't distract you.
Yeah bro, that's like telling a soccer player to not look at another mans ass during a game. Just not going to happen.
CleyonTrue, I swear those things are evil.
CleyonBut you can train a mean cage fighter!
Me too. Lol.
AnonIve got a pretty good memory of a particular father that was a little league coach (when I played) His son was on his team and they got in to it with each other because the kid was slackin off that game, the kid called his dad a faggot and the dad popped the kid in the nose and broke it. Now this was back in about 1978 but still I cant believe that took place, and nothing came of it as far as I knew.
CleyonI'm pretty sure two black eyes came from it.
Wow. Kind of takes the game out of it doesn't it.
CleyonGetting mad at a kid for slacking off in soccer is like getting mad at a kid for slacking off at checkers.
sgtstedankoI thought everybody played soccer @ 5? I did. & turned out alright... At least it will keep him running, ready for wrestling : )
Yeah, I played it when I was 5 too. Lol.
CleyonWe all did, one of the worst memories of my life.
Lol. I remember coming home from soccer practice asking my mom to put me in a dress so my friends wouldn't see me in my soccer outfit and think that I was gay.
CleyonI remember going to school and telling kids that I had to go audition for "My Fair Lady" so they wouldn't know I was going to soccer practice.