Engineereddisaster's picture
Engineereddisaster
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Boner sniffs in a tuner.

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So today, I'm driving through a medium sized city in my diesel pickup truck. My truck has been built, tranny, efi live, cold air intake, lift pump, exhaust and its fast as shit for a heavy ass truck. I haven't had it on a dyno but I'd bet its pushing 550-600 horsepower easily.
So I pull up to a stop light next to two boner sniffs in a car with a spoiler that stands about as high as my truck, the car has 5 point seatbelts and it looks like a sausage party in there. So just dicking with the aisans, I edge my truck ahead letting them know that I want to race at this light, and you know it's on with these boners. So light turns green and in a black cloud of smoke I blow the doors off this all homo tuner.
Moral of the story, never under estimate a big redneck that has dead hookers in the back of his truck.

B52-BODY's picture

yep.

Pale's picture

I used to drag my crew cab Dmax all the time, but you know how it goes with a non-built up tranny, started limping her. I ended up taking the edge off of it and just run stock now, other than the blocked egr. I have 217,000 on it now and still haul 20,000+ pound loads behind her (not that that is legal) lol.

How about rolling up on a hyper miling asshole with the window down and rolling up along side of them and giving them a smoke screen, lol. I miss that.

j223's picture

How about rolling up on a hyper miling asshole with the window down and rolling up along side of them and giving them a smoke screen, lol. I miss that.

best feeling ever! lol

Engineereddisaster's picture

Lol, my favorite is rolling coal on panhandlers.

j223's picture

I miss my 03 f350 crewcab diesel lifted on 35s full exhaust, cold air intake, a chip and a few other mods =] I beat any mustang/tuner it had 550horse black smoke cloud was so thick you couldn't see shit for 10 seconds through it. I only got 12mpg on a good day but it was a fun truck and I'm a leadfoot. Beating some dumbass in a ricer always made my day

also pulled a 40 foot fifth wheel across the country no problems ever it was a 16k lb rig and only towing mod I did for that truck was add a leaf spring

ANBRO's picture
My big ass Kia could take you any day! You wanna do this man!???!! Come at me bro!!
Engineereddisaster's picture

Come at me bro!!!!!!

Engineereddisaster's picture

Very nice. However, my Duramax gives me 18 mpg. Smile

Pale's picture

My 05 Unloaded I get 15mpg. My 02 I had first got 17, but my buddies 03 he had got the best mileage I personally witnessed @23. The 03 and first half 04 LB7's didn't have all the emissions shit on them, but they also had the faulty injectors. The 05 is quickly gaining as the most bulletproof, but they can run on the hot side.

I refuse to buy a new one with the urea tanks. We already pay a serious premium to drive a diesel I am not paying another one. Plus the mileage sucks on the new ones.

Engineereddisaster's picture

I've got an 07 lbz. Had been looking for a loaded low mileage lbz for a while and picked up this one. I get 16 mpg without the tunes and with the tunes 18. Which isn't too bad for having bigger tires. This is unloaded of course. I love the lbz. It's pretty tough to beat in my opinion.

Pale's picture

Yea, I am definitely not afraid to get an LBZ. All of them up to the urea tanked trucks are great. I prefer the classic looking ones to the new body style tho.

Engineereddisaster's picture

Ive got the 07 classic and really like the look. i put adjustable rancho 9000xl's on it and it rides like a caddilac. I refuse to do the urea as well. Kindof defeats the whole purpose of getting one of those monsters.

Pale's picture

One friend of mine bought his 05 a month after me and has well over 400,000 clicks on the odometer, so as long as mine is still doing like it has been I will wait on upgrading. Plus I have mine all set up the way I want it and a scratch or ding isn't going to freak me out like when it was new, lol

Engineereddisaster's picture

It's not uncommon for a Duramax to pull 18 mpg. My first 02 Duramax gave me 20 after I replaced the shit injectors.

18 mpg highway 75 mph. All day. My dashboard doesn't lie. Smile

Engineereddisaster's picture

When it comes to cars, One never truly achieves redneck status until he owns a camaro.

LOKI 1's picture

Redneck Rock Star! Two smoke-stacks sticking straight up out the bed of my truck. Hellyeah! Represent ED. The Lacs blasting out of my stereo. Lol

Engineereddisaster's picture

Lol, I haven't had the balls to run the stacks right now I'm running a 4" magnaflow with a downpipe. No cat. Not crazy loud but enough rumble to sound serious.
I only play hair metal in my truck. Lol.

iFit's picture

LMAO. You are an poet of slang, trash talk and non-sense and I say that with admiration and respect because I love it.

Engineereddisaster's picture

Love you too bro. No homo!

J.Mc.'s picture

The more dead hookers in the back, the better the traction! Well played brother.. LOL

Engineereddisaster's picture

My thoughts exactly. My 33 12.50's wrapped around 20" rockstars hook to the pavement quite well with a half dozen corpses in the back.

crayon's picture

Loool

Drywallstar's picture

Words of genius!

Engineereddisaster's picture

Lol. I love that video! I've probably watched it a million times.

bosuj's picture

not exactly what you did but same outcome haha

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