posted Sun, 01/17/2016 - 01:02
2317
Reconciling religion in relationships
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So my girls Catholic and I'm not. I love Jesus but I didn't know what exactly being with a Catholic person entailed. How it affects raising children-family life etc. she's a great girl but I just can't see myself having kids baptized in a religion that I don't believe in.
What are your life experiences or even thoughts on subject?
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Shiiit gimme a nice catholic gal. If thats the least of your worries mate its a joke. If you love her go with it. These days you should be more worried about what they got up to b4 you.... interacial gangbangs, ass to mout 3 ways, dirty sanchez, bukkakes etc fuuuuk not if shes religious. You should be happy shes a nice catholic chick smh dude lol go with it a hardcore party night for her eating cake and drinking cups of tea compared to vomiting in the gutters after a night of sex booze and drugs?????? Get what im saying bro. Good luck.
She has a child out of wedlock and don't know who the daddy is. So yeah I would say some less than wholesome living was going on
StevebSo apparently she's not Catholic all the time. If she can have a kid with a stranger she can look past that you're not going to convert to Catholicism.
He doesn't have to convert to catholicism to get married in the church.
But there does seem to be more to this than first told.
The kid is ten man. Everybody falls from grace at one point or another. I don't know all the ramifications with the church. I know she was counseled a great deal.
I think you said below, that there comes a time when you gotta go figure things out on your own. Paraphrasing. And that's when she came back to the church.
Not at all meant as a slight. Just saying she might give your feelings more consideration.
The church is all about lost sheep and redemption.
The church is going to ask her to promise to raise her kids catholic and to have them baptized.
She is simply being asked to show a desire to raise them catholic but she is not being asked to force the issue to the detriment of the marriage.
The church fully understands your point of view and respects your right to instruct them as you see fit as well.
StevebI thought you did or at least you have to lie and say you are Catholic. I was the godfather of my nephew but I had to say I was Catholic and I am not.
Changed in 1983 I believe.
The Catholic party to a mixed marriage is required to declare his (her) intention of continuing practice of the Catholic faith and to promise to do all in his (her) power to share his (her) faith with the children born of the marriage by having them baptized and raised as Catholics. No declarations or promises are required of the non-Catholic party, but he (she) must be informed of the declaration and promise made by the Catholic.
A mixed marriage can take place with a Nuptial Mass. To the extent that Eucharistic sharing is not permitted by the general discipline of the Church.
The ordinary minister at a mixed marriage is an authorized priest or deacon, and the ordinary place is the parish church of the Catholic party.
A non-Catholic minister may not only attend the marriage ceremony but may also address, pray with, and bless the couple.
https://www.ewtn.com/library/MARRIAGE/MIXED.TXT
That is pretty discouraging. Is the Catholic almanac official church doctrine?
I'm not sure understand your question. Or why you find this discouraging. The church has basically come to your side.
I know you'll be jumping through a few hoops to marry this girl in the church. But consider this. If this is giving you pause what happens down the road when a REAL problem comes up?
Your best move at this point is to sit down with her and her priest and discuss the questions you have. None of this is a big deal unless you make it one.
" I had to say I was Catholic and I am not. "
Straight to hell with you.
LMFAO
Wow such a controversial subject. Honestly some of the ppl I role with these days referr to themselves as recovering Catholics. Seriously !!! Catholasism, Alcoholism, canabalism...ect... They described it like a disease. I wasn't raised in any religion myself so its not really fair to speak of something I don't know to much about but imo its such a weird deal catholasism is. Ritualistic , humdrum movements and speaches. I just don't find much spirituality in it. I see no hope in it and it doesn't give a human much chance to really make it. My god knew exactly what he was doing when he created me ,so why would he punish me for being the everfailing humanoid I am. I can't imagine jumping thru all the hoola hoops this religion asks for. But on the other hand it has worked for thousands of ppl for thousands of years. My grandma was Catholic but never spoke of God at all. It was what she was raised into . I think never gave her the chance to be the woman God made her to be because she was always trying to please ppl like the virgin Mary, the pope, ect. I have to give ppl the chance to follow whatever they believe in. It's one thing to love someone so much ull stick it out with them but what about loving them enough to let them go be whatever they need to be. If I'm not mistaken you will have to convert over to that deal in order to be married which is kinda unfare to you and the kids that'll have this ideology impossed on them. It would be a volitial situation if I compromised myself for someone to never really be happy and never truly live up to the expectation that the religion wud expect creating resentment toward her and the institution involved. Bad place for me . Who truly wud benefit?? Maybe her parents would be proud?? And the ppl around her but what would that do for you.??
On the other hand you don't convert, you don't marry, you have kids maybe and they'll be unworthy and not recognized by the church. Then she's no longer a part of the fellowship and angry with you because what everyone else thinks. It honestly sounds like a loose loose deal for everyone . idk what I'd do. But maybe if you seek God's will for your life maybe some answers will come.
Sorry for the long post but you asked and its such a deep subject. Good luck my brother.
Wax on, wax off...
It's those very things I believe saved my life and gave me the strength to quit intravenous meth and heroin use on my own.
The mysteries of the mass ironically is not unlike doing those seemingly unimportant tasks you see masters giving their students in those martial arts movies.
It never made sense to me growing up either, and one of the things that made me leave the church after I did grow up. The religion did not fail me. I'm not even sure if that in itself is not part of the "divine plan" (not the church's plan) To get the paritioners to walk the last miles of their journey on their own so that the student can become the master.
Why then am I not a "practicing catholic" now? Because I would have to profess that the Apostolic church had more authority than my own personal experience and understanding.
As the great theologian Pete Townshend once said,
"Messiahs pointed to the door. And no one had the guts to leave the temple!"
You got that right
amen ;-)
Thank you all for responding. This really is a great place.
Outside elements have no say in the way my family and I live our life emotionally. We live within our own guidelines. People are entitled to their beliefs and what they think is right and wrong...however in no way will they impact the happiness of my family or try and push their way of thought on us. Imo religion breeds hate and our family practices love and togetherness and our belief is in eachother!
Dont allow anyone or anything to dictate you and your lives together brother! Family first, before, during, and after...ever! Knuckles!
I was raised Catholic and wifey Methodist. We had our daughter before marriage. She agreed with me to get her baptism in a Catholic church. Unfortunately any Catholic church around us wouldn't do it because we weren't married. I was brought up to believe Jesus loved all his children...but not my bastard, out of wedlock daughter!! Ain't that a bitch :/ Best advice I can give you...put the love of your girl and family above the church because when shit hits the fan THEY ARE THE ONES BY YOUR SIDE WHO LOVE YOU THE MOST OVER ANY RELIGION! Good luck with everything
Look at it this way bro. She gets pregnant and you have a child...should your child and family be shunned and looked at as a sin from our beloved church? Everything that church has taught you says otherwise. Do what's best for YOUR LIFE...after all, Jesus forgives, right?
TronJust another example of how organized religion is hurting us all. You have a special love with someone that organized religion could potentially destroy. My suggestion is you not focus on what your religious beliefs are. Focus on how much you love each other, what makes you happy together, and focus on raising your kids in a good wholesome environment. Happiness is the key to life.
x2
I'm a strong believer, but I'm also against organized religion. If you don't follow the track of their teachings you are wrong in their eyes and I don't believe that anyone one person or religious group has all of the answers.
To the OP, that's a tough call, but like Tron said happiness is the key to life. If you both love each other you won't force one another to conform one way or the other. You will simply make it work.
Yep
Tough call brotha. What is your religious preference and how dedicated to its principles are you?
Religion is an interesting thing. Especially if you are both firm believers in separate doctrines.
Maybe you are are Jehovah's Witness and she is Catholic. Bother believers that each is the only "gateway to heaven". That can cause a lot of issues as the kids start pulling. Each thinking without their religion their kids are missing out on salvation.
I think if you are both firm in your beliefs that it's probably not a good idea.
If you don't really have a fixed set of beliefs...well, I don't think there are any teachings in Catholicism that will turn your kids into monsters as long as you help them focus on the main points like being kind, fair and honest to other people.
Just my .02
Non denominational Christian. Devout. I believe most of Catholicism is rooted in Babylonian. Mary queen of heaven, getting absolved of sins by a priest etc
Sounds like you are in a solid place, and understand the differences.
So why doesn't she come to where you are at?
You should hold your ground and she should make the move over to your side - it would be better for her.
Catholicism is a christian faith and you've already professed to being a christian. There is a baptismal ceremony in every christian faith. So what is it that you think you know about the Catholic religion that you don't believe in? A lot has changed in the Catholic church over the last few years. There might not be the "great divide" you think there is.
If she is a devout catholic, she will be asking you to get married in a church. You will be going through pre marriage counseling with the church. That would be a good time to work those things out.
Do you really feel that strongly about this to not marry because of religious principle?
To make her compromise her faith to prove she loves you?
Are you just being headstrong, having a knee jerk reaction to a topic that just came up?
The practical question is what real impact does baptism into any christian religion have on your kids and for you and your wife?
For your future wife and her family it obviously means a lot.
For you, it's ego and control. If that's the case, sad as it is, call the whole thing off. Your marriage will fail.
For your kids, they will be "citizens of Rome". They will not need to worry about getting baptized into the faith should THEY choose to be confirmed (Confirmation is a sacramental ceremony where the child chooses to continue the faith whereas baptism the parents made the choice for the child). It does NOT prevent them from choosing another faith should they choose to do that. It does not prevent you and your wife from raising your children how you see fit.
I was raised a practicing Catholic, went to catholic schools, was an alterboy, and even for a time wanted to become a priest when I grew up.
As an adult, I am a "non practicing catholic". My wife is Lutheran.
My wife was married before for only a year or two and then got divorced. She wanted to get married outside on a boat in the San Francisco Bay as did I.
Even though I was "non practicing", and did not belong to a perish, I wanted to get married by the church.
Why? Because, like anything, if it comes to easy it has little value.
The Catholic church requires you to get married in a house of god. (apparently, outside in god's creation isn't good enough). We had to get my wife's previous marriage annulled. We had to take several marriage counseling sessions, one on one; group; and a weekend retreat. And we chose to have a full mass with the marriage ceremony. When our kids were born, they were baptized.
We've been married over 20 years. been to church maybe a dozen times in those years. The kids asked us later if they were baptized and what religion they were (shows how little impact any of this has had on them).
For me, I knew I had a "keeper" if she was willing to go through all of that for me.
Does your girl have a "keeper"?
As usual Greg, excellent commentary.
Lots of Catholics are not devout catholics. I would suggest having a serious discussion on how deep her faith is and whether or not she can separate her faith from reality.
We did. Any kids she would have she wants them to be Catholic too. I guess I'm struggling with accepting that fact.
If that is the worst of it I don't personally think that is too serious a problem. You see, no matter what your future children will end up deciding for themselves.
Ive dated a born again Christian..... Enough said lol
Bottom line if she's balls deep into religion or her family raised her that way and your not, my best advice is hit it one last time then say goodbye. Just my .02
yea that seems to be the consensus. I'm to the point where I'm not even interested in sex. Maybe my e2 high. Lol