New Gear Company...AMISH ANABOLICS!!!!!
The wife and I were at the grocery store tonight, and I noticed YET ANOTHER product made by the Amish. If you live anywhere in the Midwest or eastern US, you've no-doubt noticed the influx of products being made by the Amish. Well--- at least that's what the infomercials say.
First off, mother fuckers... that high-tech, air purifier with the digital readout is NOT made by the Amish. Those fuckers haven't even discovered electricity yet, let alone silicon processors capable of 475,000 calculations per millisecond. Just because Amish Children were used to cut the wood covers (for $2 per hour), does NOT mean the air purifier is Amish-built.
What the fuck's next....Amish Plasma TVs???
We've got Amish furniture.....Amish produce...Amish candy....
These resellers (who aren't Amish, and have nothing to do with the Amish) have hijacked the Amish in order to sell more imported shit from China. And since the Amish never bitch about anything, these maggots get away with it.
Well I've had enough of this bullshit, and I'M going to exploit the Amish too.
I've hooked up with some Amish friends of mine, and I'm introducing a new steroid supply company--AMISH ANABOLICS. Here at Amish Anabolics, you don't have to worry about being scammed with underdosed or fake gear.
WHY??? Because the Amish are GOD-FEARING people. Everybody knows they don't lie or hurt people or sell low-quality shit, because they're scarred to death God will send them to Hell for it.
Every batch is cooked over an open wood-buring oven by Ely and Jebadiah, and every shipment is prayed over and blessed by GOD himself, and our gear is tested on the Amish themselves--those fuckers already have high T-levels from all that hard work they do, so they KNOW when gear is good.
Finally, you wont have to worry about us getting busted...the cops NEVER fuck with the Amish unless a child has been molested, and we're too busy making gear for that shit..right now. We transport our stuff by horse and buggy and make sure you get your stuff in 8....12 weeks max. (it's a long ride to the UK...quit bitchin Brits).
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anyone watch the discovery channels AMISH MAFIA? Levi is getting overthrown and i think Jolin should be the new boss. Hook up with Jolin. Hes your man to move the gear.
Love that show, especially how Levi and his Sidekick drive luxury cars. Lol
That show is a joke.
oh dont get me wrong. its entertaining because its they are the softest gangsters ive ever seen. ive seen several instances where they go to "straighten somebody out" and im like OK they are finally gonna kick some ass. Then they show up and have a nice sit down, calm conversation with someone, they shake hands, and its over. I feel like i could go in there and really fuck some shit up pretty easily. When Levi gets REALLY pissed he whines like a bitch. And his half witted sidekick looks into the camera with his crossed eyes, inbred skull structure, and lisps "Levi ith a good perthon, but when he geth mad, you don wanna be on hith bad thide." Fucking american Tv at its finest.
LOL....ALL reality T.V. is staged. It amazes me how many people actually think Lizard Lick Towing really encounters that kind of drama EVERY time they repo a car....lol
Jerry Springer.....except on a different stage.
I agree it all fake but love watching it get em Bobbie LOL. Have u seen moonshiners that show is so fake to
This fuckin show tho, it really irritates me for some reason. An Aye-Mish mafia? And they're actually generating money? Ctfu! I'm in a very heavily Aye-Mish state. I would have to take a trip out to their stomping grounds and collect a tax for their gang activity in my state! Lol. Seriously, wtf will they come up with next? I found out about this show by a guy at work. He's sitting there talking about it like it was the most amazing thing he'd ever seen. "Yooooo, you see that dude burn the other ones trailer down? And the cameras were right there and all. Gangsta". DAA FUUCK?!?!?
LOL!!!!! 100% agreed. I saw where the trailer was burnt. Funny how the FD didn't show up, no power lines going to it, and was sitting in an open field. Also funny how it was a trailer and not a house.
Just saw a news report where the producers admitted the show was all re-enactments....lol
"hiding out" in plain sight, in the middle of a fucking road on an empty plain seems a little counterproductive.
I don't know who unearthed this one but damn me if I didn;t laugh my ass off again...
thats a great idea. period.
breakingfaceIve always suspected that the amish you see in farmers markets arent real amish. The whole thing is a big fraud to justify charging 15 bucks for a pie.
That's some funny shit better watch out the Amish Mafia going to want some of that profit lol
The Amish mafia show is ridiculous. I just shake my head. It has to be staged. There's no way these guys are for real. Lol
Yeah that show so fake it cracks me up them guys are such pussys
breakingfaceIt's completely fake. They say it's loosely based on actual accounts. Same with the lizard lick towing and pawn stars. That's why I dont watch that garbage... Best just to stick to real housewives of OC or dance moms.
RustyhookerWill the new gear have pip like those Amish buggy whips?
Lmfao I love u goth u funny fuker
tread-mOh my brother, the ole wheels are spinning here! If you use good Amish gear you have good Amish wood right....so we open the all new Men for Woman only Amish Wood escort Service Ltd. Bitches! It would be exactly like hooters but its not at all the same or even close for that matter and it would be for women to come by for the game and have hot wings and Amish sausage. We could have punch cards brother sheeeit!!! Once we ge set up real good we could provide pick up service and do it like Dominos. We pick you up in the carriage and drive you around the neighborhood sampling the Amish wood, get you off in 30 minutes or its free? even sell shirts exactly like Tap Out but literally nothing like them that say, I got that ass tapped and then Amish Oak logo below it? Get your peoples people to call my people to get in touch with my peoples people and lets see if we can get our people together. You and I may have to run this Amish Oak ourselves for a while tappin ass for the sake of our families untill it takes off good. I told the misses, " you know what baby, you're my woman and by God if I have to tap fine asses for this family from now on in order to make this business work then thats what I do, you know I'm not a quitter baby!!" Bad ass bro, call me....this thing is going to be exactly like Avon except we dont sell any products that smell good , no reps and we show up and bang their woman. But other than that, exactly like Avon! You make me wanna be a better man bro!
Holy shit Tread...we've invented a new religion....we'll be known as "The Pimpish".
tread-mThis Fuckin thing gets better by the second!!!! Hey by the way got my E oil in today so it looks like we get to test it together, I'll punch it daily starting tomorrow so between us we should have some good info in a week...
Yep..got the Prop today and pinned about 4 hours ago and will run a mil a day.
You're pinning E daily???? I assume you're frontloading the shit out of it?
tread-mNO I meant E as in Ehealth...but prop here too.
How are they getting the raw test? are they milking the bulls or grinding their nuts?
milking the bulls dry then grinding their balls to powder and using pure amish virgin anal oil "butt juice". top of the line stuff. Goth and i went out there last night on a business trip to check out the layout and on a quality control inspection. you will not be disapointed by this new line of gear. get ready to make the switch.
can we have a few pics of the facility to see how up to date it is...lmao....and what haooens when you get an infection i mean amish dont use meds right? so amputation possibly ?
these are the amish man what do you mean up to date, they use only the most sufisticated hand grinders and bull stroking is done by hand in the gentalest manner so as to produce unstressed test. the oils are pap smeared straight from the cheeks also in gental manner so as to keep the oils flowing. you will just have to try it out. we guarantee out new amish line products.
Living in a amish Paradise......
lmao..... where do you come up with this shit,,
Eric090585i'm sure the gear is in little wooden containers rather than vials though..nothing too fancy lol
damn goth i am hanging with you. youre gonna make our asses rich and when you get there i want to ride that coat tail and add ideas to your ideas. can you imaging our muscle busting amish infomercials with these freaks of nature hand choppin wood and building skiscrapers right after a prop hit??? youre on to something. the purest gear known to man. and cheap to. oh and PS i knew lived right down the street from me.
That's right Joe...and don't forget, we use the same oil in our Test and Deca that we use in our oil lamps. Yeah sure, it may be flamable and cause a little burn, but PIP is a GOOD thing...lets you know it's working.
How about sex toys while we're at it. Some nice non battery hand crank wooden vibrators would be nice. I can see the first lawsuit now over splinters though....
Are you trying to get us all sent to hell, Brother Mariner??
God likes Gear....but he hates sex...unless you're a Catholic Preist.
Some of us already got a one way ticket bro. Might as well enjoy the ride.
Eric090585yep..if hell exists i'm already there..so i'd better bulk up so i can fight satan and his fire penis off when he tries to rape me
yea cause he is "the Catholic Priest" little boy. better watch that ass, he sure is.
AnonCatholic Priests only like sex with little boys.
Eric090585true story
"Catholic Priests only like sex with little boys",.......and nuns.
Eric090585i'd pound a nun...even if she wasn't hot...just on principal lol
Eric090585EDIT: principle! i hate it when i spell shit wrong lol
Eric this is my friend Tread, Tread meet Eric. you all should get along just fine. the maid costume is almost the same as the nun outfit only shorter????
Eric090585maid costume is hot!!! my biatch has the school girl outfit & i fucking love it! i should prolly post pics since everyone is posting pics of their women lol
hi tread! how goes it my good man?