You need Jesus man. He can completely turn your life around. Totally surrender, ask him to forgive your past and make him the leader in your life. Believe he is lord, died on the cross for your sins and rose 3 days later. Your slate will be clean white as snow and he can heal you and make you new.

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable. Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

+1 for being self aware. Recognizing you have a problem and seeking help is half the battle

I dunno bro, a lot of us have been there. First things first, lose the booze. If you’ve been whacking down a fifth a day for a while, you’re probably having a nip or 2 in the morning to smooth things out. You’re going to want to talk to a Dr. you’d be surprised, many will give you a few days to a weeks worth of benzos as long as you’re being honest with them. A little advice, if you’re showing signs of withdrawal they have to treat you, if you know where I’m going with that. It sounds like you want it, they’ll give you some meds to get over the hump, it’s 100% on you after that. I know you can do it, make Drexyl proud.

This is so rough because there are no right answers or solutions to provide. It's one of the most saddening parts of life that people who have known each other intimately for years can just write each other off or drift away. I've been guilty of similar things when I was younger and for what it's worth they will almost definitely regret it and miss you.

I am sure there are a lot of people here to talk with, and I am certainly one of them. We all have our trials and tribulations. I am a new to the whole sober life "within the month" and you are 100% correct about the fog. If you want some clarity and YOU want take a baby step out of the valley you are in physically and mentally, quitting drinking will be a great step. The peaks of life are great while we are on them but the valleys are sometimes hard to get the momentum to start the trek back up to the next peak. We are here for you and if you want to talk, bullshit, complain, laugh or cry, I will listen. Send an FR if you need. You can pull through anything if you set your mind to it brother. We are capable of more than we know !!!

2 things pop up quickly that might be helpful. And many of us here have had to use til head is screwed on staight.

1....counselor. most charge with a sliding rule so youre not strangled by a large bill. They charge a percent per your paycheck. If you have insurance then theres a straight shot to someone you can vent to and prepare a mental plan of moving forwards. I was mind fucked for a minute after divorce and counselor helped me refocus. Us men can hold grudges that really block advancement.

2- 12 steps. Something to get you on a clean path. Booze fogs the brain and raises depression, anger etc. Kick that demon bro.

Oh and whats a better way to rise up from the ashes and prove youre the better man than taking back your future, body, career than kickin ass? It will help you focus too and too damn busy to frown or drink. Seize the day--carpe diem

Good luck

Man I can’t even begin to comment or begin to understand the familial situation you are in, but know it always gets better. You are a great man from the sounds of it, and if it’s hurting you, you can always be honest with them. I think a lot is inspired by the mother of the break up was ugly, and those children will come to mature and make their own decisions.

I can say that the drugs and not helping. I am a former addict myself over a year clean and have been to rehab twice- do it for you. Not anyone else. YOU deserve to be clean and that best, happy version of you!

Click the top right, and then groups- and join the “Recovery Lounge” group here. A large majority of us here are recovered addicts and often tell great inspirational stories and or happenstances in life. It’s kind of like our own Juiced up NA group and we’re all there for each other.

Kick the bottle my man. Do it slowly, and you may even want to go to a hospital for detox to avoid seizures and anything else. The meds will make the time fly and by then the worst of withdrawl will be over. After that mostly mental and a day by day fight.

Definitely get blood tests and start back on trt if you need it- that will help with bodily functions and getting in shape. Not to mention the mental confidence and wellbeing.

I believe in you, brother.

Well... pain has always been my greatest motivator. And... it usually helps for me to tell someone when I'm feeling overwhelmed, so... tell ppl here is a good start. You don't wanna feel the way have been. And you're ready to do what you need to to feel better... idk as bad as you may be feeling mentally... just having the desire for something better and the honesty with yourself to be able to identify problems, and the humility it takes to ask for help... something tells me you've over come some big obstacles before. I don't know what to say about the kids thing. That's stressful. I'm trying to motivate myself to get back into a strict routine, get back in shape. I've really been dragging ass. All I know is, if I'm decent shape physically, mentally I'm better off.
Gotta get off the booze. It's like adding fire to depression. I'm sure ya know.

Idk how you feel about ketamine therapy but... it's worked better for me for depression than anything else I've ever tried.

I don't wanna give you specific advice bc I don't know you're situation in detail but... there's so many ppl going through hard shit rn... you sharing this helps me and other ppl going through it mentally. Are you on TRT? I know if I don't take my dose for a week or two I get all fucked up mentally. Just asking bc i didn't see you mention it. Either way... Hope you have a good day Mac. Hope someone says something that helps ya!