Identity Crisis.
So I just went to the gym with my 6 year old son what an eye opening experience.
He filmed the whole thing. I thought maybe I would pick something up about the mechanics of my lifts or something. Well that's just fine, my mechanics look great. What didn't look so great was my ego.
I've had enough therapists and friends tell me over the years that I had ego issues, so I couldn't deny it. I knew it was a problem, and you have probably heard me say that here more than once. I figure it's better to point things out than have them pointed out. I feel like I'm fairly self aware and I'm willing to look at almost anything. But having said that "holy shit". I'm fucking out of control. Looking in the mirror, saying shit, just a general way about me. It's so clear. So now what? What the fuck do I do? I'm on the verge of a total identity crisis! :).
No but seriously what a humbling experience, how do I grow from here?
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Dude your fine if your in the gym smelling the roses then you prolly arent working out. You were just pumping yourself up, look at it as natural workout supplement. Now if you do the same thing outside of the gym then you might have problems. Your endorphins were flowing,blood pumping and adrenaline kicking. You were in fight or flight mode, no biggie my man. Simply natural, you can go to the gym with a hoodie and dont look in any mirrors if you wish, that wont solve a damn thing. Your not egotistical bro, the gym is for the lions. Roar!
"The gym is for lions. Roar!"
...loved that!
BigBmajIf any place is I guess the gym would be it. Thanks.
I can promise you if you put a camera on any of us and reviewed every nuance of what we do or say we all have plenty of ugly shit that would be seen and heard.
In my experience in life there are two types of people those who are full of shit and know it and those who are full of shit and think they are not. I believe you are growing more than fine. In my line of work I am surrounded by some of the biggest egos in the world. And rightly so for what these men have done and are capable of doing very few in the world could attain such things. I teach a class that is regularly attended by special forces operators from all branches. I ask them are you elite? They answer yes. I say and who do you compare yourselves to? They answer other solders. I then say are they mere mortals? They yes. I ask are you mortal? They say yes. I then ask can you accomplish your mission without the support of the other divisions? They say no. I then say so are you elite?
Of course these men are elite in their perspective military occupational specialty. Yet in other places they are as dumb as the day is light. Now if they believed they were elite in every way of life, I would inform them that your ego has written you a check that your self importance cannot cash.
So the fact that you are aware of your vanity etc and do not justify it means you are ahead of the game.
BigBmajYou've always got such good stuff to say.
An example that I noticed for instance, was that everyone is getting ready for a local show, they look great. Instead of saying to my training partner "hey everyone is looking great" I choose to say "shit bro we aren't even competing and we are leaner than all these guys and they are two weeks out." The truth of the matter is that i wanted to do the show but I couldn't gain quick enough, so I am discouraged. Just something I noticed.
Thanks for the words man.
That my friend is called being competitive! Or a hater which every way you may look at it. But no guy in his right mind in any sport whether it be mma,football,weight training or the Olympics looks at the other guys and says "wow hes looking great". No we say " I can be better", not trying to degrade anyone just trying to push yourself to the next level of greatness. Your competitive my friend and if you didnt have it in you, you wouldnt have the size you have now.
You see that type of self awareness above that you just wrote, I honestly would rather have a mind like that than a bodybuilders build. I can promise you there are way more tremendously built bodies in this world then those who have your way of thinking!
When we do team selection for the special warfare group we look exactly for guys who have that kind of mentality. All of the candidates are in top physical elite shape but very few pass muster on the mental quality. I am impressed!
BigBmajIt made my day to hear that.
AnonWell we wanted to say somethin,but cool you have picked up on it lol
Where you acting like Ronnie Coleman calling out "LIGHT WEIGHT BABY!!"
valhallas bestnow its time to eat some mushrooms, float through the universe and expose yourself bare in the realm of realities that exist that you never see and can now get glimpses of... then get ready to truly expose your true self naked, and enlighten the fuck up... I think honestly everyone should have this experience not just me, you sound like a fuckin kick ass dude my man, best of luck to you my man on your journey you seem like a truly humble person whos always looking for enlightenment... and also if i was as jacked as you id probably be getting cocky as fuck at the gym aha, so it's not a bad thing, 99%of the men in this world wish they could be jacked like you homie and it just goes to show what a truly cool guy you are and how humbled you are... stay up big dogg and go drink a beer, on me! put it on my tab aha
BigBmajI have eaten my mushrooms over the years. I attribute the fact that I can see certain things about myself, stuff that would flip most people out totally, to some of my psychedelic usage. I feel sometimes like those were such lost years, but it was an experience.
When I see my fellow college graduates and they are someone like the ambassador to Kenya I feel a little bit of a sting. Considering I was spending my time wondering through the woods contemplating life.
Thanks for the drink, and complements.
RustyhookerGo low dose like planned then after many months hit a regular normal dirty bulker. Flat out eat everything and heavy hard weights.
BigBmajClassic bro. I love ya man.