I just recently read a post by Nitti warning fanboys of sources to chill their brutal beatdowns of those who may complain about certain sources and service/products. And it occured to me what a brilliant marketing strategy it would be to have some soldiers in my corner who will defend me----make excuses for me----and generally help me fuck as many people as possible before the DEA hammer comes down, or I end up blowing all my inventory money on coke and 900 numbers.
Only one problem:::

I DONT HAVE ANY FANBOYS!!!

So...in response, I am currently taking applications for the position of "Fanboy".

The qualified fanboy will be required to actually "fan" me any time my estrogen levels rise or the tren kicks in (hence the word fanboy----we also have a blowboy on staff as well, but he is currently out with a workers comp injury). A good Fanboy should also be proficient in data entry (60 words/min) in order to protect my good name when people start complaining that my gear is not only giving them excruciating PIP, but has also killed a number of their close friends and a family pet that got too close to the Tren.
The selected fanboy should also be buff-----VERY buff---, and will be required to post pics of my gear along with words of praise and worship excaliming how MY stuff has enabled them to not only have sex, but with an actual real unintoxicated female as well. Those pics should also include some shots of yourself----if your body sucks ass, random google images of strangers from Russia will not be accepted---we don't need to get busted for decieving people---that's just fucking wrong and I refuse to stoop to that level.
Furthermore, any Fanboy working for me needs to be able to travel at a moment's notice for the purpose of roughing up eroiders arrogant enough to post honest reviews about my shitty gear, or MODS who want to be pricks and make me abide by the rules----we don't need people like that around here.

(due to the excessive drive-time/distance and size of Viking, no Fanboy will be required to confront that bastard without bonus pay and extra gear).

Fanboys may also have to travel to court hearings to testify (i.e. perjury) in case my rabbit's foot stops working and I have to beg a judge to send we to a joint where conjugal visits are allowed.
And finally, I have one position open for a Fangirl as well-----those job requirements are slightly different from the Fanboy job, and will be discussed in a closed interview.