+ 1 Hardcore stories. Lets hear some funny stuff and have a laugh
Well one of my personal hardcore stories was back in the gym doing legs one day. I was punching out some legpresses. I was working upto my last set which was going to be my all out 20 reps at 16 plates a side. I was on 14 a side when I finnished my set after doing 20 reps. My training buddy said to me. Hey man your bleeding. I said what are you talking about man. He told me to look at the back of my pants. There was blood everywhere. He was bogging himself and thought I puhed my gut's out my ass. So I just loaded the leg press up with 2 more plates a side finnished my last set of 20 reps then went home. Thats just 1 storey I have many more that I will share over the next few days. Some will think its gross but I think its funny. Lets all lighten up and have a laugh.
Look forward to reading your stories.
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Once saw Tread-M headbutt Banner during an Eroids Xmas Party. Apparently Banner was trying to white knight Andormeda. Andromeda slapped both their skulls with bottle of Jim Beam.
If story is true. Your fucking lucky. And your lucky it happens before 9/11. Because nowadays they have a thing called conspiracy which is a notch. But u did say early 90's. Conspiracy is a motherfuckers to get out of now. You can with cash and a bad ass lawyer. But I did like the story
Yes it's true. I just shortened the conversations. But yes it scared the shit out of me but they were nice about it. They said they wanted the big fish and we're just telling the people ordering to STOP NOW! Of course I did. They said they wouldn't be so nice if they had to come back. Glad you enjoyed it BC I didn't.
In the late 90's I had an awesome source out of Cali/Tijuana. I would simply tell him what I wanted and he would get it for me. I found this guy through endlessness.com. it's old and outdated site so I figured I could mention it. Steroids and pain pills and almost anything else you could want. I would send my money to him and couple weeks later ID get what I ordered. Well this time it has been about 3 or 4 weeks out and I messaged him telling him I haven't received my order and what's going on? He said he would reship it express Next day. Well another week goes by and told him I still hadn't gotten a ything. "I'll reship it again". I know the guy was of his word because I had been using him for over a year. Well my tracking number said it would be at my house at 3:30 that day so I made sure I had all my stops done for work for the day so I'd be home when the package arrived to sign. When I pull into my driveway all excited there pulls in right behind me a black suburban with dark tinted windows. Yes that is exactly what the DEA drives and is known for driving. I got out and a man and woman walk up to me and asks if my name is -------------------? " yes who's asking?". The guy was a DEA agent and the lady was a federal postal inspector. About that time the f----ing FedEx truck pulls in my driveway. I almost shit my pants. The FedEx dude said are you ------------ I didn't answer and the DEA dude says man go ahead and sign for it BC we already got three other packages right here. Well I was early twenties so I signed for it . I know the laws now and I didn't have to sign. For it and they couldn't have said shit. He said can we come in and ask you some questions. I said "no I'm really busy and gotta go back to work". He said well then we can arrest you and you can go downtown and talk to us. I said sure come on in :). I told them that I was part of a consumer group with that website and that I was just ordering to see if places were legit blah blah blah. They said that guy supplied all over the world and they were trying to shut him down. They told me to quit ordering them or anything from that website and go to a doctor to get what I need. I told them I thought he was a doctor. Lol. Anyways I guess they shut most of those sources down over the next couple years but it was good while it lasted. I've got another story about customs laughing at me that I'll tell when I have more time. Hope you enjoyed it.
sometimes. when nobody is looking I like to do the helicopter with my penis. Maybe if I go fast enough, one day I can fly!
You need to give the windsurfer a crack mate. Hahahaha
OK. For some of us older guys. Do you remember cheque drops. Well they were plentiful in the mid to late 90s. I had a 'buddy' who wanted to try steroids but did not want to use needles or take them orally. WTF? Right? OK so one of my other buddies who was the PRIMARY SOURCE at our gym had some sublingual cheque drops. That was right up 'Steve's" alley( the guy wanting no oral or IM roids lol) I think it had half veggie oil in it.(not by me) well, this guy was a wearout so that's what he got sold. A couple weeks go by and Steve said he could tell no difference . the Source told him that he would bring him some incentive the following day to the gym. Nevertheless, the source brought a dog with him to the gym and asked Steve if he felt anything when he saw the dog now. Lol it was funny if you knew Steve and knew what cheque drops were
Hahaha pretty funny.
OK here we go. Way back in the day a bud of mine asked if I'd help him tow a old junker of a car to the scrap yard. His wife was nagging him about cleaning up the yard or some shit. So I get there and we push this Pyle of shit pacer or some other type of hatchback into the street. Hook the tow rope up and we're ready to roll. My bud takes the keys to go into the house to grab a couple cold ones for the ride back since he lives in the country. So I'm in the pacer and he's in his old chevy truck. We get to the end of the road and it's a dead end. He goes left I try to steer and the asshole took the keys so the steering column locks up. You didn't need to have keys to put it in neutral. Down the ditch I go til I get to the end of the rope and then it Yanks me to the left I go up the ditch and accroos the road into the other ditch and my buddy is completely oblivious to what's going on. I'm honking the horn and slamming on the brakes for dear life when he finally stops. He gets out and says have you been drinking or something. I couldve slapped the shit outa him at that moment but I was terrified. I just watched my life pass before my eyes. Lucky he lives in the boonies. We stopped at the bar after wards and I made him buy me some beers to calm my nerves before heading home.
Hahahaha nice one
lool
One of the funniest things that happened to me was a time a friend and I were out shooting. He had a log cabin way back in the woods. "Shotgun a rifle and a 4WD kinda guy" Anyhow, we were shooting an AK47, a couple of old bolt action rifles and a few pistols. We were really throwing some lead down range and he was about half drunk as usual. I went down to my truck to get some more ammo and was met by 5 cops. I was like awe no party over. They asked me what we were shooting and I told them we had some targets set up on a burm. He said no I mean what kind of weapons are you shooting? I told him an AK and he said fully automatic? No sir it's semi auto sir. We went down to the cabin so they could check it out. As we approached I called out to my friend in the cabin. He was in there loading some clips and by now pretty drunk.So I tell him the cops are here. He said oh yeah well F em. I said no man I'm serious. He said I'm serious to, tell them to go F themselves. The cops just looked at each other with that what the hell look on their faces. So they finally said sir can you come out please? The utter look of shock on my friends face was priceless when he saw them. I guess it's one of those situations that you have to be there to find it funny but cracks me up every time I think about it.
That's awesome. Hahaha it's funny how tough people talk until actually confronted. Hahahaha it's hilarious. Thanks for sharing
well here is one that happened to a good mate of mine.
One lovely evening after a few cleansing ales my mate decided that he wanted a flag at the top of this flag pole. So anyway he decided it was a great idea to climb up the flag pole to retrieve the flag (yes it would have been easier to just lower the flag using the rope), so any way my mate is doing a fantastic job scaling this flag pole. Up and up he went all the way to top. That was quite impressive. Then he got the flag and started to decend the flag pole. Now that's where it al came undone. Hahahaha as he was getting close to the ground and being very happy with his achievement all of a sudden he stopped sliding and started yelling at us for help. Yes he had gotten hung up on the cleete by his nut sack. Hahaha he was literally hanging by his ball bag off the flag post. Hahahaha he ended up having to get himself off because we were all too busy laughing at him. Anyway he did end up keeping both his balls and only ended up getting 9 stitches.
lol
Mate it was and still is one of the funiest things I have whitnesed. We all still talk about it an have a laugh at how expense. Hahahaha
LOL
Was pretty funny mate. I still laugh when I sit back and think about it. Hahahahaha
Holy shit!.....
I hope like hell he kept the flag.
Bloody oath he kept the flag mate. Hahahaha
The last big snow we had my truck was down so I was driving this little s10 I've been saving for my step son. School was cancelled so I was taking my daughter to the sitter before work.
I started driving up this hill and got stuck. Every time I started to back down it, it would slide sideways. So I get out and lift the back of the truck and straighten it out. I was feeling like a beast for about 3 seconds, and it started sliding. I was behind it pushing, and it wouldn't stop. It slid probably 60 feet, and was already going about 20 miles an hour with 150 feet of hill left, and my kids in the front. There was no way I was stopping it, so I pushed it hard into the ditch. I ended up tearing some tendons in my wrist, and it crashed through this old guys chain link fence. So I run up thinking my daughter is probably freaking out. She looks up from texting in her phone and asks if I'm ok.
So I'm going through all this panic shit, and she's just sitting there texting through it. Lol
Hahaha kids aren't as freaked out by stuff as we think. Good story mate
I don't think they're scared of anything but a dead phone battery. I was about to piss my pants. Lol.
I did learn picking up the rear of an s10 feels about like deadlifting 375. Next time you walk past one give it a shot. It'll be more fun if someone's in it though. Just don't do it on a snow covered hill.
Hahahaha that's so true mate. Teenagers these days only really care about their appearance and their phones.
That's the truth and and complain when there fucking charger cable doesn't work. Ask them what a s10 is? Remark, oh that's supercharged TEN cylinder diesel. Wow
I second that.
BendTheBarbellDo the stories have to do with lifting? If not here's one for you!
My friend and I were having a sleep over ( cute I know. We were teenagers) and we snuck some of our parents alcohol (u know the drill) so after getting what we thought was drunk we started joking about how I was still a virgin. This friend of mine suggested one of our classmates from school was DTF. And talked me in to calling her. She ended up driving over and brought more brooskies from her parents place. After having a jolly ol time after a while my buddy pulls his junk out like some perverted weirdo without even saying anything to lead up to it. Well he was right. She WAS DTF cause she just grabbed it and started beatin it. I'm sitting next to her feeling awkward AF and she looks at me and pulls mine out... Now My nervous ass is thinking" ok. Idk what the F to do. My buddy here is all into it but I wanna punch him in the face cause he is laying back with his tounge out like a Labrador...WTF" Well gentlemen luck was on my side. She let go of his junk and gave me all the attention and started making out with me. Honestly I think he was actually drunk because I wAtched him walk into my backyard and pass out in my moms garden. We went back to my room and she said do u have a condom. I reply with " I'm a virgin. And to b honezt I did not plan any of this" s he laughed at me which was embarrassing and said how cute. "Don't worry bendthebarbell... I Have done this befORE" ( BendTheBarbell is my real name) she ran to my kitchen and cane back with plastic wrap!!!!!!-- effib wrapped my chub with plastic wrap like some half used cucumber to save for later!!! And yes gents.... I smashed. And oh boy was it uncomfortable. I thought I would hate sex forever! Luckily we did it again the next week with an actual condom and my life felt normal again (somewhat)..... True story
Hahahaha good work BTB. Wel done mate and no the stories don't need to be about lifting. Just a good funny story.
BendTheBarbellGlad u appreciated it. I was embarrassed of it for so long but now it's just a funny moment in history
Hahahaha that's it mate. I do always try and see the funny side.
Now that's dedication lol
I thought I might revive this thread and see if it kicks off again. Anyway here goes another story from a while back
I was training legs this time. And no I didn't shit myself like most of you that know me are probably thinking. But anyway I was leg pressing and going heavy (well heavy for me) and was pushing hard in my last set and maxing out. After the set was done and I could barely stand up my training partner helped me up out of the machine. Anyway as I stood up a hot little piece that if been keen on for a while waked past and and started to laugh at me. I wondered what was going on till my training partner asked if I was ok. I said yeah mate I'm good why. He just mate your ass is bleeding. I just laughed as I though he was joking. But then I looked around and the blood stain was running half way down my leg and soaked my full length track pants. Hahahaha needless to say I never really spoke to the hottie again haha she avoided me after that.
I guess I am just not working hard enough! I have yet to bleed from the ass whilst lifting. That being said I did have to have it surgically repaired once from apparently pushing too hard whilst dropping a deuce. That was no fun...
LMAO
Hahahaha working hard is all very subjective mate. As is the amount of weight being used. Butt yeah it was hilarious. Hahahaha. Pun intended as well. Hahahaha
A mate of mine had the same type of surgery last week, very painful by the sound of it. I got him an inflatable ring to sit on from a toy shop a couple of days ago, he was most grateful!
And then the first bowel movement after the surgery you lose a literal shitload of blood and damn near pass out lol.
Hahaha mate I have another story to tell about dropping a shit. Hahahahaha but that I will save for another day. I am sure all the ex Army guys will know exactly where I'm coming from with it. Hahahaha
Glad I read this while I was eating....
I hope it was meatloaf that you were eating hahahahaha
LMAO! I like to share.
Didn't put me off my food. The fact that my wife cooked it, (and I use that term very loosely), had more of a negative effect than the rectum / bowel discussion.....
RustyhookerGood to see u a back! Bloody or not. Lol
Thanks mate. It's been a while but thought it about time to come back and say hello. Hello !!! Hahahah
I got hemorrhoids from squatting like a fuck tard.
ok guy's here is a story for you. Should get some laughs with this one. It is not first hand but was told this a while back.
A Bodybuilder was having an afternoon sex session with his girlfriend. Doing it Doggy style, she couldn't see what he was doing, she asked him a question and the answer was Mpfff mpfff. She turned her head to see him eating a sandwich. He had snuck in a plate of sandwiches and he had stashed them on the table next to the bed before having sex. Apparently from what I was told it was hard trying to synchronise chewing with the stroke.
I put too much on the bench press - was younger and got pinned. I did not ask anyone for help I just rolled it down my chest/abs/legs - was kinda painful but then just loaded up w/ a little less weight and carried on like a good soldier...
Yeah mate I got pinned as well under a bar once. But I never used collars and just used to tip the plates off one side then the other. The main problem with that though was when the plates crashed to the ground it made such a loud noise that everyone turned around and had a look. Ah well live and learn.
I heard about doint that and tried once just for the hell of it and I couldnt get the 250 or so pounds to roll past my stomach and over my hip bones! I must be a sissy!
Ok here we go! I was about 17 full of piss, vinigar and ego. At the gym doing decline sets, got my shirt off, im the only one in the gym, theres a huge window that separates the gym from the girls aerobic class, and theres like 20 of them in there with loud music. Im doing decline sets with the moveable decline bench, when I get done I jump on flat bench and take the weight down on the way up it gets stuck under the decline bench that I left to close and in the process of trying to get it unstuck I burn out, stuck with the bar on my chest I was forced to yell for help, over the top of their music, the hole class stopped and rushed in to save me, all of them asking me if im OK, how did it happen...SO fucking embarassing!...