Hey kids, as some of you may already know, as of late I have spent a considerable amount of time in the hospital. No worries. That's not what I want to talk about. I wAnt to talk about dirty horny ass nurses. Holy shit kids laying in that hospital bed I felt like a damn piece of meat at an all you can eat Golden Corral buffet.
So my sickness is all internal, looking at me from the outside one would never know that my internals have more holes than a Korean hermaphrodite.
So back to my story. After my procedure I was forced to stay in the hospital for a little while to help with my recovery. No shit, as I am coming out of my anesthesia I wake up to a nurse rubbing my left tricep. Saying, honey, you are way too pretty to be this sick. Look at those arms. A little doped up With a slurred voice say step off yo, I'm married.
So night rolls around and this damn nurse comes back in more times than I want and just keeps bugging the shit out of me, wanting to ride the Ed train, I'm rejecting like a mofo, I'm sick as hell and just not in the mood for that shit, so this hornet ass nurse come in with some Oxy's for the pain and offers me an extra.. Our little secret. Of course I accept. I'm not one to turn down a perfectly good oxy, especially when I'm in pain.
So half hour later I'm a little ripped and the nurse comes back in and starts talking to me about working out. Of course this nurse is a crossfitter. Then the nurse asks me when my wife is coming back. I'm like damnthis fricken horny assed nurse won't leave my ass alone, wants to ride the Ed train, it's fricken evident so damn evident the the nurse leans over me and says, no shit.. "You are the hottest guy I have ever had in here."
What would you do? Me? This is what I did, I said:"hey, come closer". The nurse walks over thinking that a pony ride is in the plans. I reach up grab the nurse by the throat with my xxxl hands damn near wrapping completely around this nurses neck. No shit my fingers about touched.
I get right in the nurses face and say: bitch, you come in this room again and I'm going to kill you. I will hit you so hard that your dog bleeds, and knock your teeth down your throat so far that you are going to have to sit on your food to eat it. I then shoved that nurse right on his ass and said. "I'm no homo!" GTFO dude. I only like chicks. He leaves and I never see him again. Luckily, my next nurse was a hot assed chick.
All my love , no homo
Ed.