I try to make the most out of every hand that I’m dealt, no matter how shitty the hand.
There I was on the third floor in a dirty ass cell with 15 smelly guys in grey sweats.
The early ass kicking that I dealt put me at the number one spot, and even though there was only 15 others, I was running that shit and I stayed on top of it. Two days in, the number 4 guy gave me an eat shit look after I took a piece of food that he wanted, and under his breath quietly said: “pinche’ Guero”.
I didn’t like the sound of that so I took him to the floor, grabbed him by the face, fish hooked My right thumb into his left cheek and my left thumb into his right cheek and started ripping his face open all the way back to his ears. I did this until he cried.
(Kids, if you ever need to really get into someone’s head...do that.)
After the fishhook incident, there were no other challenges. Everyone in that cell knew that Ed didn’t play nice.
Well, Until I decided to play the hole game.
Surely you kids have played it. You make a hole with your index finger and your thumb and hold it below your waist. If a person looks at it, you get to slug that person in the arm. If that person takes his index finger and breaks the hole without looking he gets to punch you twice.
At any rate boredom was setting in, and I thought maybe it would be a good idea to start the game with my cellies. Surely the game had to be popular in Mexico?
“Was it popular in Mexico Ed? We want to know?”
No kids I learned that it wasn’t. Let me tell you how.

I decided to start the game with #16, the weakest guy in our cell. His name was Raul. I swear that poor little bastard couldn’t have been a day over 16 years old.
I made a hole with my hand, put it on my knee, and said “hey Raul! Let’s play the hole game” (I said it kind of loud because everyone knows that language Barriers can always be broken with a change in volume). Raul looked at my hand with a hole and he looked confused so I took my other index finger stuck it in the hole and broke the hole. I then looked at Raul, and held my fist up and made a punching motion.
Well kids, I can tell you that Raul didn’t want to play the hole game with me. The blood drained from his face and I shit you not, he about started crying and he started rocking back and forth saying “no senor, no, no, no”
At first, I thought, damn Raul really doesn’t want to play the hole game with me, until I realized that Raul, upon seeing me make a circle with my thumb and index finger and sticking my other index finger through the hole..followed up my a punching motion was translated by Raul as me saying that I wanted him as my new woman!
Oh shit! I started laughing as I said “no joto” no joto.
Raul was so relieved, and I decided playing th hole game just wouldn’t be worth it. At least not on the third floor of a hot Mexican prison.
To be continued.
All my love, no joto
Ed

• How to run a cycle in the Joint

1. How to run a cycle in the joint, Volume 2 Mexicana Boogaloo
2. How to run a Cycle in the Joint Volume 2; Chapter 2: La Mesa
3. How to run a cycle in the joint: Volume 2: Chapter 3: Mi Casa
4. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2 chapter 4: Trial
5. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2: chapter 5: Arraigo order
6. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2: Chapter 6: The cycle
7. How to run a cycle in the joint volume 2: Chapter 7: El tercer piso
8. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2 chapter 8: The hole game
9. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2 chapter 9: The Sancho
10. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2 chapter 10: Papa
11. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2 chapter 11: The old man cometh
12. How to run a cycle in the joint Volume 2 chapter 12: The Ritual