Hey bros, Ed here with a little request for some prayers for our homie Gym Junkie (no homo) Maybe you aren't religious so don't worry about the prayers but maybe when you blow (no homo) your birthday candles out and shit throw that wish GJ's way because his ass really needs it.(no homo)
I've been away from eroids lately (no homo) so maybe you guys are aware of this maybe you are not but he has really had it bad for the past couple of years. First his old lady got nailed by a drunk truck driver a couple of years back. That had to be really hard you know. Shit if my old lady was getting nailed by drunk truck drivers I'd be pretty pissed off too. I mean shit, that guy is a cancer survivor, decorated navy seal who pulled the second trigger on Bin laden, and a mother effing top ufc contender. He doesn't deserve that shit! and now friends...now he has been in a terrible car accident and was in a coma and shit. His gf was at my house when she got the news and shit so I kind of have an inside source. (No homo) At any rate, he's out of the coma and evidently is now mentally retarded. I can't make any sense of this shit. He texts me and not even my google translate will help me understand what he is saying. All I get from the texts is that I guess he has taken up painting and shit..and is painting a picture of Pale lying ...down???? Said that it would be his final masturbate? WTF that really means? I'll never know.
At any rate bros. if any one can help. Anyone at all, let me know. He could definitely use some gear and money and shit. So hit me up in PM and if you send me that shit, rest assured I will make sure he gets it. He totally needs a lot of it and please let's don't be cheap, he needs pharma and isn't in any shape to be taking UGL stuff in the ass no homo. Money is a good idea too. His bills have got to be piling up.
Well kids, I have an online training session with Papa Swole and that shit ain't cheap. But hey bros..help from a pro never will be cheap.

All my love, no homo
Edward effing Cullen