I would tell your wife exactly how you feel just like you told us and then I would think about the kids because they are the ones who are going to be impacted the most by the decision you make..
Im no youngster. Im almost 40. I say go out and have fun. Life is short. Many people spend years unhappy. And just cause you go out amd have fun doesnt mean you have to sleep togeather.. Life is sooo much better when you are happy
Totally true, and I'm really not looking to sleep with anyone as of yet. If that were the case I'd go for younger woman. I'm looking for someone mature, a good head on her shoulders, and to see if we have common interests.
If your not happy and you want to sleep with other women I think its best you get a divorce (I would suggest counseling and trying to work things out, divorce is the absolute last resort IMO)
In the end cheating can get NASTY and so many people end up getting hurt. Its just not fair to anyone.
I don't want a divorce, I want to be separated. My wife has been my best friend for over a decade. I want to provide for her until she finds someone else if that's what we decide. I don't wanna break up my home, I just wanna be happy.
You need to have this conversation with her. Absolutely not a good idea to go out with another while youre married. Discuss the issues and either you will both agree to work it out, or go seperate ways. Dont go out with so eone else until this discussion is had and you two decide how to move forward.
Going out on a date now only guarantees an ugly situation. Grow a pair of balls, sit her down and tell her whats bothering you. Yes, I am married with 2 children and have had similar conversations with my wife. Its part of marriage.....it is not a cliche that marriages are hard and need work.
Your wife sounds exactly like my ex. She left me one day, and ruined me financially, and ruined our son emotionally. I never cheated on her, was a good husband etc. Just remember...the grass is greenest where you water it.
If that was in the past as you say, it should stay there. You have quite a bit of resentment toward your wife. I think moving forward is impossible until that is resolved. If you're unhappy, why stay? And don't say for the kids. An unhappy home can be worse than a divorced home. You're young. Talk to people you know and trust, (not a bunch of juiced up relationship geniuses like us,) make a decision, and act.
Yes I recent her a lot, I did let it go until I caught her flirting online then the trust was gone and it hasn't come back. Yeah, lol you guys do have good advice but I guess I should talk to a professional. Just needed feedback and I really appreciate everyones.
You need to sit down with your wife and tell her how you feel. If from that comes nothing then maybe it might be done between you two but you have kids and they're the important part if you and the old lady split that sucks but we are men and have needs if she won't full fill them then go out and do your thing be respectful about it dont rub it in her face but you need to be happy in life its not all about her. Just remember that you have kids and they are the important thing so if you were to go off on the side and get some its not the worst thing that you could be doing. Just don't make it into a full time thing.
At this point though it sounds bad for your relationship but things can always be fixed so if thats what you want work on that but if you feel things are over then have that talk make sure that you both are on the same page. Try to end it civil because I've seen some of my buddies go through the ringer in a divorce I even watched my father get torn to shreds by one.
Good luck brother
I have told her, many times over the years it never changes. My kids are my world and I would always provide for them and be there for them. Not looking to be a deadbeat looking to have a women who appreciates me
I don't think you are a deadbeat I get the feeling that you are a very caring man and you love your family.
I actually went to my wife and asked her to get a female perspective and she said that you should sit down with your wife and explain how you feel and that you want the best for your family but your not feeling the love and that if its going to stay this way and she doesn't want to work things out. Then let her know that you are going to get the attention you need somewhere else. Me and my girl agree its a shitty situation but my girl even said its not right the way you are being treated she even said if you came here looking for advice from your brothers first before just going and doing it with another woman it shows that you really still care. But she said that after the talk hopefully you too can stay together for the kids but you might have to go elsewhere to get what a man needs.
You deserve to be treated good brother and to be happy so me and my girl agree that you should do what will make you happy.
Im really sorry to hear this brother if you need to talk you can shoot me a pm im here to help weather its gear or life. Im just a pm away. Hit me up anytime
Anything else you need hit me up
You sound like a much better man than me I have alot of respect for you just from reading your answers on this post.
I wish you the best
You are in a tough place bro you need things your wife won't give have you asked her why she doesn't want these things ? You did something I couldn't do if I cheated or my wife we wouldn't have worked it out for sure does the new girl know your married ? I don't know that you will find an answer to this only you will know what you should do my only advise is be careful because sometimes there is no going back
I have asked her, she said she just doesn't like those things as she doesn't like affection. No, the new girl doesn't know, And I don't want to hurt her either but honestly me and my wife Co exist like roomates. I've had my wedding ring off for a week she hasn't said shot and I never take it off. Honestly in my mind we are separated. But, the new girl knows I have kids so she knows I either was married or am seperated.
My suggestion would be finish one thing before you start another either try to work it out with your wife or move on you have one life do you want to spend it being miserable? And if the new girl that you met don't know that you are married you would be starting a new relationship with a lye not a very good start.
You should cancel the date with the explanation you have to clear up some things at home first. It sounds like your marriage is a wreck and short of intensive professional intervention hope is bleak. But do not start another relationship and make things worse
Yeah hope is bleak, honestly though I'm not looking to start anything new just see if we have things in common. This new girl is older and much more mature. She also has kids so I don't know if she's married or not either fml.
Until you officially end it you are still a married man and by doing things the right way you set yourself up for future happiness. Say you go out and start an affair with the new chick and really fall hard for her, she is perfect and the best thing that has ever happened to you. Now put yourself in her shoes and know that you had an affair on your wife. You see where I am going? You will have sewn the seed of doubt before you ever left the gate bro. Stop, do the right thing first.
Your right, I think I need to discuss this with my wife. Ugh! Not gonna be a pretty coversation, thought about actually doing it today just didn't want to ruin her Easter.
Much appreciated and very deep food for thought. Luckily my kids are still young. Thanks for the input.
I would tell your wife exactly how you feel just like you told us and then I would think about the kids because they are the ones who are going to be impacted the most by the decision you make..
I'm going to tonight, already told her we needed to talk after kids go to bed. She seems nervous and so am I.
Thank you so much to everyone for your input. Really helped me out emotionaly.
Im no youngster. Im almost 40. I say go out and have fun. Life is short. Many people spend years unhappy. And just cause you go out amd have fun doesnt mean you have to sleep togeather.. Life is sooo much better when you are happy
Totally true, and I'm really not looking to sleep with anyone as of yet. If that were the case I'd go for younger woman. I'm looking for someone mature, a good head on her shoulders, and to see if we have common interests.
If your not happy and you want to sleep with other women I think its best you get a divorce (I would suggest counseling and trying to work things out, divorce is the absolute last resort IMO)
In the end cheating can get NASTY and so many people end up getting hurt. Its just not fair to anyone.
I don't want a divorce, I want to be separated. My wife has been my best friend for over a decade. I want to provide for her until she finds someone else if that's what we decide. I don't wanna break up my home, I just wanna be happy.
bigmurphYou are a good man my friend I have much respect for you.
I really hope you get the best in life because you deserve it
Thank you
bigmurphI definitely agree try and work on it divorce last resort
They can get ugly
Or it could be that now that the OP found a nice girl, he, all of the sudden can see all the flaws of his wife. My thoughts, Idk
Your new girl will be just like your wife, just give it a couple years. Sadly but true
You need to have this conversation with her. Absolutely not a good idea to go out with another while youre married. Discuss the issues and either you will both agree to work it out, or go seperate ways. Dont go out with so eone else until this discussion is had and you two decide how to move forward.
Going out on a date now only guarantees an ugly situation. Grow a pair of balls, sit her down and tell her whats bothering you. Yes, I am married with 2 children and have had similar conversations with my wife. Its part of marriage.....it is not a cliche that marriages are hard and need work.
I agree and I'm gonna do it.
Hey brotha Do you Gus have kids together?
Yes we do
Your wife sounds exactly like my ex. She left me one day, and ruined me financially, and ruined our son emotionally. I never cheated on her, was a good husband etc. Just remember...the grass is greenest where you water it.
Oh?
Bro, that's cheating. If you don't think so, ask your wife.
I agree with Pale, your marriage needs some serious professional counseling.
That's a fair an honest statement. I like the honesty. But I've never slept with someone behind her back, can't say the same about her.
If that was in the past as you say, it should stay there. You have quite a bit of resentment toward your wife. I think moving forward is impossible until that is resolved. If you're unhappy, why stay? And don't say for the kids. An unhappy home can be worse than a divorced home. You're young. Talk to people you know and trust, (not a bunch of juiced up relationship geniuses like us,) make a decision, and act.
Yes I recent her a lot, I did let it go until I caught her flirting online then the trust was gone and it hasn't come back. Yeah, lol you guys do have good advice but I guess I should talk to a professional. Just needed feedback and I really appreciate everyones.
bigmurphYou need to sit down with your wife and tell her how you feel. If from that comes nothing then maybe it might be done between you two but you have kids and they're the important part if you and the old lady split that sucks but we are men and have needs if she won't full fill them then go out and do your thing be respectful about it dont rub it in her face but you need to be happy in life its not all about her. Just remember that you have kids and they are the important thing so if you were to go off on the side and get some its not the worst thing that you could be doing. Just don't make it into a full time thing.
At this point though it sounds bad for your relationship but things can always be fixed so if thats what you want work on that but if you feel things are over then have that talk make sure that you both are on the same page. Try to end it civil because I've seen some of my buddies go through the ringer in a divorce I even watched my father get torn to shreds by one.
Good luck brother
I have told her, many times over the years it never changes. My kids are my world and I would always provide for them and be there for them. Not looking to be a deadbeat looking to have a women who appreciates me
bigmurphI don't think you are a deadbeat I get the feeling that you are a very caring man and you love your family.
I actually went to my wife and asked her to get a female perspective and she said that you should sit down with your wife and explain how you feel and that you want the best for your family but your not feeling the love and that if its going to stay this way and she doesn't want to work things out. Then let her know that you are going to get the attention you need somewhere else. Me and my girl agree its a shitty situation but my girl even said its not right the way you are being treated she even said if you came here looking for advice from your brothers first before just going and doing it with another woman it shows that you really still care. But she said that after the talk hopefully you too can stay together for the kids but you might have to go elsewhere to get what a man needs.
You deserve to be treated good brother and to be happy so me and my girl agree that you should do what will make you happy.
Im really sorry to hear this brother if you need to talk you can shoot me a pm im here to help weather its gear or life. Im just a pm away. Hit me up anytime
Fucking speechless bro, thank you so much!
bigmurphAnything else you need hit me up
You sound like a much better man than me I have alot of respect for you just from reading your answers on this post.
I wish you the best
Thank you
You are in a tough place bro you need things your wife won't give have you asked her why she doesn't want these things ? You did something I couldn't do if I cheated or my wife we wouldn't have worked it out for sure does the new girl know your married ? I don't know that you will find an answer to this only you will know what you should do my only advise is be careful because sometimes there is no going back
Honestly I just want to be happy, I'm young and I don't want to be miserable the rest of my life.
I have asked her, she said she just doesn't like those things as she doesn't like affection. No, the new girl doesn't know, And I don't want to hurt her either but honestly me and my wife Co exist like roomates. I've had my wedding ring off for a week she hasn't said shot and I never take it off. Honestly in my mind we are separated. But, the new girl knows I have kids so she knows I either was married or am seperated.
My suggestion would be finish one thing before you start another either try to work it out with your wife or move on you have one life do you want to spend it being miserable? And if the new girl that you met don't know that you are married you would be starting a new relationship with a lye not a very good start.
Trust me I know, and I would tell the new girl the truth. I'm not a liar and I know relationships are built on trust and mine has no trust.
You should cancel the date with the explanation you have to clear up some things at home first. It sounds like your marriage is a wreck and short of intensive professional intervention hope is bleak. But do not start another relationship and make things worse
Yeah hope is bleak, honestly though I'm not looking to start anything new just see if we have things in common. This new girl is older and much more mature. She also has kids so I don't know if she's married or not either fml.
Appreciate the feedback, so much to think about.
Until you officially end it you are still a married man and by doing things the right way you set yourself up for future happiness. Say you go out and start an affair with the new chick and really fall hard for her, she is perfect and the best thing that has ever happened to you. Now put yourself in her shoes and know that you had an affair on your wife. You see where I am going? You will have sewn the seed of doubt before you ever left the gate bro. Stop, do the right thing first.
Your right, I think I need to discuss this with my wife. Ugh! Not gonna be a pretty coversation, thought about actually doing it today just didn't want to ruin her Easter.
It wouldn't be the first holiday in history to go south. Wait until the kids are in bed
Good idea
X2