That ^^^^ says it all... but, don't cheat just be a man and leave ... oh and as a general rule of thumb, starting a new relationship while you haven't resolved the first one. that is called a rebound and they never last ....
Girl, appreciate the feedback especially from a female perspective. Been a long time member just new account...had old account deleted. Appreciate someone like you giving your opinion. Actually went out with the woman recently and she knows everything. Didn't do anything too much but... we both like each other and get along a lot. Her personality is so attractive... and she loves the fact I'm a big guy and very confident. Wow! Ugh... I deserve to be happy and my God right now I am.
Fuck it! I got one life and I'm not wasting another damn second being unhappy!
Like GRRL said its a rebound bro, many of us have been there, ofcourse she seems absolutely fucking awesome. There is a 99% chance your brain is just tricking you. Give it some time, few months, see if shes still the same girl and you still really like her, or if your thinking fuck, i left my wife, this girl sucks it was just a rebound fling, I want my wife and bestfriend back but its to late ( but fuck that she cheated on you and the trust is gone) I explained my story and how I fucked up with a rebound chick, your situations different though since your wife commited the cardinal sin, cheating. I hear ya on wanting to be happy. Just the statistics of finding your next bestfriend and gf the first girl you meet after your wife are very small, its just a rebound, brain trying to fill that void, youre so used to having that person in youre life whos there for you all the time and being in a relationship and everything that goes with it, i hope it works out great, it seems like you deserve it bro, just know after my ex I had to kiss alot of toads before i found my princess. took over 3 years.
this woman... will ALWAYS wonder if you are going to cheat on her ... it is the nature of these things I wish you the best of luck ... you know what the right thing to do is ..
I agree, if you start dating someone whos cheating on their bf/gf/ husband etc, they will most likely think well he did it to her so will he do it to me? Even dating someone who you know has cheated in the past i could never trust.
I got one life and I'm not wasting another damn second being unhappy!
If you think this proposed path of cheating will bring you happiness, you are sadly mistaken. Prepare for a good deal of unhappiness for you and others. Self-delusion only lasts so long.
There is only one way to make this right and that's by doing the right things, which has been discussed at length below. It's not too late. Good luck.
Came home from deployment walked in on my first wife with a friend I worked with! Whooped his ass got the satisfaction and walked out like a boss! Never felt bad about it actually was relieved that I caught her doing it instead of her lying to me about it! Never looked back since then! Yes I have kids and they are better off without us being together! Just to let you know everyone says stay together for the kids! No fuck that shit they will be in a toxic environment and think that being in a toxic relationship is okay! Leave already bro!
Same thing happened to work buddy of mine...deployed to Iraq for 18 months and found out his wife had fucking loads of men while he was gone. They had kids together but he said see ya bitch. Another buddy told me that it was rampant in Fort Bragg, NC. Husbands getting deployed and the wives would use some sign to indicate they were home and "LONELY."
Children deserve a safe and wholesome environment where they can grow up.. Which is why you should consider leaving your cheating wife and move on. Once a cheat always a cheat.
Hits very close to home Friend. I am having similar issues and kids place a tremendous strain on a relationship. How can my wife want to be rambunctious and fun when her nipples are raw from nursing, she can barely keep her eyes open.
I collaborate and consult with a lot of beautiful, motivated, successful, competitive aggressive women who could care less if I am married. Work lunches became work dinners. Work Dinners became work drinks became shots became cumming on your car backseat floor mats...
"I will raise your son, Leave your wife, she hasn't worked in 5 years"
"Have a kid with me"
"I can be a better wife to you"
"She doesn't even compare to me"
blah blah. Do they mean it, or is it the alcohol? or is it just the great sex?
Panic attacks when you can't find your phone.
Searching your car for female memorabilia(panties, bras, earrings, makeup, receipts) down the street from your house.
Ace is right, none of that shit is going to help a marriage. It actually puts rocket boosters to a divorce. A little while back I had a situation where this woman who I have really gotten close to wanted me to leave my wife....I am dealing with it now and I think that it is a positive thing that I have so many great reasons to stay married and raise a family. I have a ton of selfish reasons to get a divorce too, all selfish and all involving the genitals of young beautiful women.
I posted it on this forum and I got ass raped, but that is what I needed to hear.
My wife and I have know each other for many many years and you can't buy that kind of shared experience. Time lays the foundation for real love. These dudes are right. I saw my wife and my son sleeping in my bed and she looked the same as she did 18 years ago.
Try organizing 3 months worth of dates and activities together and show her. See how excited she gets. Indoing things together will lead to close moments which should lead to better sex.
Damn brother, now that is food for thought. Totally puts a different perspective on things. Hits it from a different angle. Thank you for posting this.
Brother it is hard. You will definitely feel that the grass will always be greener. There will always be what ifs. People are human, it is to be expected no one is perfect.
As for cheating, it doesn't sounds too bad, you guys need to communicate. It doesn't sound like she is coming home at 3am smelling like another man's spit and body odor. People get lonely and need to talk to someone sometimes.
I am still thinking about leaving my wife Deadpool. But I also think, I am comparing my wife who has to keep up my home, raise my child and love and take care of her husband to a younger woman without a care in the world.
Those are 3 huge jobs for any person.
Can I really compare her life to some petite platinum blonde Business Professional (who eats cucumber and hummus all day and works out 7 days a week) whose biggest concern is what thongs are on sale at hankypanky.com and what time her brazilian wax appointment is on Thurs afternoon and if her abs are more visible today than yesterday, who has no qualms about meeting up with me at 11pm/12am/1am any day of the week even if she has to drive 2 hours...
But when all is said and done, I want my son to be raised in a stable home with 2 parents that love him. Its hard to love your child when you are fighting your ex-whatever...
Dude, skip the dates, and get counseling. Married dudes don't go on dates to figure out if they're in love with their wives. Sheesh. This is recockulous. Just tell the new bitch the situation. If she's interested, she'll still be there in case you split with the wife. You're going about the whole thing bass ackwards. I can't believe this thread is still active. You should know how life works better than this, by your age.
Certainly! Relationships are one thing in life I didn't have to learn the hard way. I don't believe in going through life in a miserable relationship if it can be avoided.
I C U H8N. Lol come on Ace... this is actually way more then I thought I get response wise. And it shows how other guys can actually relate. It's also a really good hodge podge of information and different points of opinions and views... which actually could probably help a lot a guys out to make and educated decision/well rounded one who are in similar situations... Married or not, all these points of view are very well thought out and executed.
Well... I told my wife.. she is upset yet understanding and says she still loves me. I told her how I felt and why. I also explained I wasn't trying to hurt her or take anything away. And that I am confused and want to see if there is anyone out there who I am compatability with. I told her it was not about looks, which its not. Most of you guys would think I'm nuts if you saw my wife she is drop dead gorgeous. I explained how I may want to go on dates to see if I got along better or had more in common with another woman. She actually understood as she to sometimes questions our relationship as in how we get along and sometimes may not be compatable. I also asked if she would like me to tell her if I went on a date. She said no, I feel a lot better about being honest with her. I think I will go on the date as I really am not interested in sex but more compatible and more in common. Still thinking about it though
What's your reaction going to be when she does the same? When you're home with the kids and she doesn't come in til way late?
I got a lot more but I'm spring breaking it with the kids and the wife I fucked up and lost once myself.
This is nuts in my opinion.... Why don't you two.. Really sit down and seriously put all issues on the table and try and work it out, something isn't right, if I had said that to my wife ... Or even if she said that to me, we'd be in a emotional fight...... Dating is not something married people do
Get your shit together and talk
Well... that was last night. She did cry she said she felt numb, then she went to sleep. This morning she told me she is sad, she doesn't want to be separated and she doesn't want me to go on dates. I'm so fucking confused.
THEN DON'T GO ON DATES! Come on bud. This isn't going to the dealership and test driving another car to see if you ass fits more comfortably in a new seat. You owe it to your kids, your wife, and believe it or not, to yourself, to not be a scumbag douche. You need to communicate with her and probably go to counselling as others have suggested. She did what she did, which sucks, but you made the choice to stay with her. If you decide you want to screw around, then wait until the divorce is final. You realize that if you cheat on her, and she leaves you, depending upon where you live, you could have custody issues and all sorts of other problems. Do you want her turning your kids against you? Calling you a lying cheating bastard, who didn't love them or their mom enough to stay around. It sucks, but people use their kids as pawns all the time in these situations. Maybe she won't but why be that guy and why take the chance. Always take the high road bro!!
While I respect the honesty and logic if I was looking to test drive, I could have easily done it the other night or long ago. I'm really not, I'm looking to see if I am compatable with someone else. I got married young, my wife has not changed I have, by change I mean mature and improve. Honestly as shitty as it sounds I'm probably gonna go on the date. If I feel quilty at any point during that time I'll know I am with the wife I want to be with if not I'll question it and see if my wife can change. I'm not, and I repeat not looking for sex. I'm looking to see if a women can actually hold a conversation with me, have similar interests, makes the date about me as well by asking me about myself and my day ext. My profession/education and life experiance makes it easy for me to analyze a person and see what the are really after. I can read through most anyone by knowing what subliminal signs to look for ext.. shit they don't realize their even doing to give away there true intentions.
While I was saying cheating, I wasn't just talking sex. All of that intimacy that you are craving and seeking elsewhere, to a woman, that is cheating, and in most cases, it is far worse to them than if you just fkd some broad. Because women are about emotion.
I'm saying you don't have the right to "cheat" in any fashion. Two wrongs don't make a right, so don't be a wrong. Be a man and do what's right. IF, you are going to be married, then be married. If not, then don't.
Now how I really feel. I would've grabbed that bitch by the back of the neck and tossed her lying cheating motherfuckin ass out on the curb for the trash to pick up. Kids or no kids. You didn't do that for whatever reason. I can take a big wild guess based on all of your touchy feely comments. I wouldn't put up with, for one second, any kind of inter office romance or falsebook bullshit, especially from someone I don't trust. Trust is everything.
I absolutely love my wife, but I would do exactly that, and she knows it. And God help me if I were to find the two cheating culprets together because Ol Grit would have to figure out how to keester an iPhone so that I can log in to eroids from my cell.
It's probably because I was young, dumb, in love, afraid of loss ext... and I'm a nice guy. Yeah I should have left your right. I didnt, family influenced my decision as well, and yes I had been with other women before her if that was your guess of maybe only being with her that was not the case.
I love my wife, I would never have sex behind her back, I'd feel to guilty. Also, I don't drink and drive, never have so my mind we be clear headed and I won't be acting or feeling based off of any feel good beverage.
So.I take it your wife doesn't like doggystyle either. Just a joke. Man life it's to short to let one bring you down. I was told once by my grandfather. When you get old you can sit on that front porch swing and tell yourself man I wish I would of done that or you can be sitting there telling everyone else what the fuck you did. Take it for what it is if you love her than fix it. If not go have a good time. Why not
Haha. Don't be talking about my dead grandfather. No he was never alone and he enjoyed life to the fullest. I'll I.meant by that post was either fix your problems or you are going to have problems the rest of your life.
Glad to hear you had the talk. Agree with Pale here, if the relationship is important...get professional help. Real friendship is hard to find, so do whats necessary to keep it, and if marriage longevity comes with it even better.
Like I said before I think you deserve better, but idk about going about it this way. This girl my met probably seems really fuxkijg cool since you haven't talked to another girl now this way in 10 years, she came right up to you made you feel all good about yourself etc, moral of the story people seem great at first, girls and guys can hid their true colors for a long time, months, I lost a good girl a long time ago because of that. We were on our first break ever, I met this new girl she seemed awesome. Like my current girl at the time but with a better body etc ( me being vain lol, it was 5 years ago) so my real gf try's to come see me and I can bother to give her the time of day cause I'm all about this new girl. About a month in the new girl shows her true colors. I ruin my 3+ year relationship in a matter of likd 2 months. The one that got away man. Not saying your situation was like mine, just be careful, understand that a single 35 year old is most likely single for a reason, not sure how else to put that one. When you been in a relationship for that long your judgement is clouded, as was mine with the situation I explained before. I wouldn't have told you're wife you're going on a date, maybe lunch with a Friend, date sounds like the marriage is over. Yours sounds bad, maybe counseling can help idk, that cheating though, you know what forget everything I just said I forgot she cheated on you with another fucking guy. Fuck her and send her packing. She ruined it tjr day she did that. Trust is so hard to come by.
Well man I been going through the same thing for a while. But it's vice versa. I'm the one acting dull....I'm the one in your wife's shoes. BUT it doesn't mean I don't love my wife. So we cant jump to conclusions and think your wife doesn't still love you. And man I have had 2/different opportunities to as you are thinking of doing. "Finding that ground w someone else that u are missing w ur wife."... But dont do it man. Cuz technically yes just in general yes u would be cheating. An not on you 'girlfriend' you'll be cheating on your WIFE. Not worth it.
I say and believe that when so much unhappiness comes about to where u don't even know anymore if your other half (wife) is worth sticking around......your children are worth the fight and an worth trying to get things back to where they were and remembering and seeing within each other why u guys married in the first place. The kids are worth the fight....you don't want ur Lil kids only being able to kiss one parent goodnight everynight. My homie I truly believe a broken home and a split family is the devils #1 ballpark to play his Gamez and ruin generations of good peoeple....children grow up w hate, some confused, or just a chip on their shoulder at life itself due to wondering why they didn't grow up like all the other kids w moms an pops...
From personal experience the first time my marriage was saved was through my counselor.....once a week meetings.....in my shoes my counselor was my pastor. And he saved us and our marriage...the second time when things went off track and I wanted out a few weeks l ater found out m wife was pregnant w my now 6 week old baby boy....now that I look back and think of those oppsrtunitities that u seem to be faced w .....I can't thank god enough that I didn't take them. All I needed was a Lil time to get things back on track.
Sorry to ramble bout it ....but man u touched a nerve w what I'm going through at the exact moment....ever need to rap shoot me a FR
Edit: I completely forgot about the her cheating on u part.
Thats a tough one man....I think your best judgement will have to come into play. We all make mistakes and should be overlooked at some point after redeeming ourselves. But HABITS are far much more harder to overlook. So if its a habit of hers then it should be treated a Lil different IMO....u have to loom at your life man, what's in your home that u have to lose by being inforgiving (the kids) it as I said. Kids ARE NOT THE REASON TO STAY MARRIED! but the are enough reason to TRY AND mend a broken or fallling apart marriage.
I don't have much time, but she already cheated on you, period, , what does that say about her character, morals, ethics? And, from what I've seen, most people get caught only a small percentage of the time, that's just from what I've seen bro. Idk how you could trust her again after that, it's so hard to trust anyone in the first place. I feel so sorry for you, just for the getting cheated on part and you seem to be a dimamond in the rough ( no homo lol) and just how fucking disrespectful that is to do to a man. Based of what you've said you deserve a good faithful women with common interests, and a bunch of other shit I don't have time to type to spend you're life with. I don't have kids yet so I can't really understand that whole part and wanting to keep the family together for that reason, I understand it but it's not something one can fully grasp until they have kids of their own. But you don't deserve to be unhappy stuck in this what sounds like a terrible relationship for this short time were on this planet because you're worried you're kids have to grow up in two different homes and what that MIGHT do to them. Might being the key word, I know plenty of kids who grew up in homes with both loving parents who turned out like shit, and kids who grew up with divored parents and turned out to be great kids. Another thing I've noticed is It's the hardest when they're teenagers, if they're still young it will be much easier on them. But I would probably try to get out of this marriage, she broke that sacred trust, without it what's left?
That ^^^^ says it all... but, don't cheat just be a man and leave ... oh and as a general rule of thumb, starting a new relationship while you haven't resolved the first one. that is called a rebound and they never last ....
Girl, appreciate the feedback especially from a female perspective. Been a long time member just new account...had old account deleted. Appreciate someone like you giving your opinion. Actually went out with the woman recently and she knows everything. Didn't do anything too much but... we both like each other and get along a lot. Her personality is so attractive... and she loves the fact I'm a big guy and very confident. Wow! Ugh... I deserve to be happy and my God right now I am.
Fuck it! I got one life and I'm not wasting another damn second being unhappy!
Rule of tnumb wait atleast a year before dating anyone else.
Like GRRL said its a rebound bro, many of us have been there, ofcourse she seems absolutely fucking awesome. There is a 99% chance your brain is just tricking you. Give it some time, few months, see if shes still the same girl and you still really like her, or if your thinking fuck, i left my wife, this girl sucks it was just a rebound fling, I want my wife and bestfriend back but its to late ( but fuck that she cheated on you and the trust is gone) I explained my story and how I fucked up with a rebound chick, your situations different though since your wife commited the cardinal sin, cheating. I hear ya on wanting to be happy. Just the statistics of finding your next bestfriend and gf the first girl you meet after your wife are very small, its just a rebound, brain trying to fill that void, youre so used to having that person in youre life whos there for you all the time and being in a relationship and everything that goes with it, i hope it works out great, it seems like you deserve it bro, just know after my ex I had to kiss alot of toads before i found my princess. took over 3 years.
this woman... will ALWAYS wonder if you are going to cheat on her ... it is the nature of these things I wish you the best of luck ... you know what the right thing to do is ..
I agree, if you start dating someone whos cheating on their bf/gf/ husband etc, they will most likely think well he did it to her so will he do it to me? Even dating someone who you know has cheated in the past i could never trust.
If you think this proposed path of cheating will bring you happiness, you are sadly mistaken. Prepare for a good deal of unhappiness for you and others. Self-delusion only lasts so long.
There is only one way to make this right and that's by doing the right things, which has been discussed at length below. It's not too late. Good luck.
Well that was quick. You did talk like you were going to do the right thing I guess. Either way, I have no respect for you so I am done with this...
Pm me brother, I'll help.
Came home from deployment walked in on my first wife with a friend I worked with! Whooped his ass got the satisfaction and walked out like a boss! Never felt bad about it actually was relieved that I caught her doing it instead of her lying to me about it! Never looked back since then! Yes I have kids and they are better off without us being together! Just to let you know everyone says stay together for the kids! No fuck that shit they will be in a toxic environment and think that being in a toxic relationship is okay! Leave already bro!
Same thing happened to work buddy of mine...deployed to Iraq for 18 months and found out his wife had fucking loads of men while he was gone. They had kids together but he said see ya bitch. Another buddy told me that it was rampant in Fort Bragg, NC. Husbands getting deployed and the wives would use some sign to indicate they were home and "LONELY."
Thanks for Serving Brother. Some friend....
I would kick his ass today for disrespecting our deployed warrior.
Children deserve a safe and wholesome environment where they can grow up.. Which is why you should consider leaving your cheating wife and move on. Once a cheat always a cheat.
Hits very close to home Friend. I am having similar issues and kids place a tremendous strain on a relationship. How can my wife want to be rambunctious and fun when her nipples are raw from nursing, she can barely keep her eyes open.
I collaborate and consult with a lot of beautiful, motivated, successful, competitive aggressive women who could care less if I am married. Work lunches became work dinners. Work Dinners became work drinks became shots became cumming on your car backseat floor mats...
"I will raise your son, Leave your wife, she hasn't worked in 5 years"
"Have a kid with me"
"I can be a better wife to you"
"She doesn't even compare to me"
blah blah. Do they mean it, or is it the alcohol? or is it just the great sex?
Panic attacks when you can't find your phone.
Searching your car for female memorabilia(panties, bras, earrings, makeup, receipts) down the street from your house.
Ace is right, none of that shit is going to help a marriage. It actually puts rocket boosters to a divorce. A little while back I had a situation where this woman who I have really gotten close to wanted me to leave my wife....I am dealing with it now and I think that it is a positive thing that I have so many great reasons to stay married and raise a family. I have a ton of selfish reasons to get a divorce too, all selfish and all involving the genitals of young beautiful women.
I posted it on this forum and I got ass raped, but that is what I needed to hear.
My wife and I have know each other for many many years and you can't buy that kind of shared experience. Time lays the foundation for real love. These dudes are right. I saw my wife and my son sleeping in my bed and she looked the same as she did 18 years ago.
Try organizing 3 months worth of dates and activities together and show her. See how excited she gets. Indoing things together will lead to close moments which should lead to better sex.
Good Luck, I am one to talk...
Damn brother, now that is food for thought. Totally puts a different perspective on things. Hits it from a different angle. Thank you for posting this.
Brother it is hard. You will definitely feel that the grass will always be greener. There will always be what ifs. People are human, it is to be expected no one is perfect.
As for cheating, it doesn't sounds too bad, you guys need to communicate. It doesn't sound like she is coming home at 3am smelling like another man's spit and body odor. People get lonely and need to talk to someone sometimes.
I am still thinking about leaving my wife Deadpool. But I also think, I am comparing my wife who has to keep up my home, raise my child and love and take care of her husband to a younger woman without a care in the world.
Those are 3 huge jobs for any person.
Can I really compare her life to some petite platinum blonde Business Professional (who eats cucumber and hummus all day and works out 7 days a week) whose biggest concern is what thongs are on sale at hankypanky.com and what time her brazilian wax appointment is on Thurs afternoon and if her abs are more visible today than yesterday, who has no qualms about meeting up with me at 11pm/12am/1am any day of the week even if she has to drive 2 hours...
But when all is said and done, I want my son to be raised in a stable home with 2 parents that love him. Its hard to love your child when you are fighting your ex-whatever...
Good post..
Ace VenturaDude, skip the dates, and get counseling. Married dudes don't go on dates to figure out if they're in love with their wives. Sheesh. This is recockulous. Just tell the new bitch the situation. If she's interested, she'll still be there in case you split with the wife. You're going about the whole thing bass ackwards. I can't believe this thread is still active. You should know how life works better than this, by your age.
If one of the greatest Generals of our time and Director of the CIA can get caught up, any man can.
http://www.commondreams.org/sites/default/files/styles/cd_large/public/v...
Sarah Broadwell, what a choice piece of ass Oh LAWD.
But when one sidepiece found out about the other, he got fucked.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3513110/How-Gen-Petraeus-nicknam...
The lesson of his story is that 3 women might be too much.
Appreciate your srs side, thanks.
Ace VenturaCertainly! Relationships are one thing in life I didn't have to learn the hard way. I don't believe in going through life in a miserable relationship if it can be avoided.
I C U H8N. Lol come on Ace... this is actually way more then I thought I get response wise. And it shows how other guys can actually relate. It's also a really good hodge podge of information and different points of opinions and views... which actually could probably help a lot a guys out to make and educated decision/well rounded one who are in similar situations... Married or not, all these points of view are very well thought out and executed.
Unless there is physical, emotional, or drug abuse, I think you should go to counseling. You have kids together who deserve a family.
Really can't thank all of you guys enough for the thoughtful responses and advice. I feel a lot better just so conflicted.
Well... I told my wife.. she is upset yet understanding and says she still loves me. I told her how I felt and why. I also explained I wasn't trying to hurt her or take anything away. And that I am confused and want to see if there is anyone out there who I am compatability with. I told her it was not about looks, which its not. Most of you guys would think I'm nuts if you saw my wife she is drop dead gorgeous. I explained how I may want to go on dates to see if I got along better or had more in common with another woman. She actually understood as she to sometimes questions our relationship as in how we get along and sometimes may not be compatable. I also asked if she would like me to tell her if I went on a date. She said no, I feel a lot better about being honest with her. I think I will go on the date as I really am not interested in sex but more compatible and more in common. Still thinking about it though
What's your reaction going to be when she does the same? When you're home with the kids and she doesn't come in til way late?
I got a lot more but I'm spring breaking it with the kids and the wife I fucked up and lost once myself.
AnonThis is nuts in my opinion.... Why don't you two.. Really sit down and seriously put all issues on the table and try and work it out, something isn't right, if I had said that to my wife ... Or even if she said that to me, we'd be in a emotional fight...... Dating is not something married people do
Get your shit together and talk
Appreciate the thoughtful words big guy. We are talking and I think I will talk to a professional counselor before making any moves.
Hmm, it sounds like she has already left this marriage as well. That is not the reaction of a normal wife.
Well... that was last night. She did cry she said she felt numb, then she went to sleep. This morning she told me she is sad, she doesn't want to be separated and she doesn't want me to go on dates. I'm so fucking confused.
AnonShe sounds confused as well
Yeah, think she may be?
THEN DON'T GO ON DATES! Come on bud. This isn't going to the dealership and test driving another car to see if you ass fits more comfortably in a new seat. You owe it to your kids, your wife, and believe it or not, to yourself, to not be a scumbag douche. You need to communicate with her and probably go to counselling as others have suggested. She did what she did, which sucks, but you made the choice to stay with her. If you decide you want to screw around, then wait until the divorce is final. You realize that if you cheat on her, and she leaves you, depending upon where you live, you could have custody issues and all sorts of other problems. Do you want her turning your kids against you? Calling you a lying cheating bastard, who didn't love them or their mom enough to stay around. It sucks, but people use their kids as pawns all the time in these situations. Maybe she won't but why be that guy and why take the chance. Always take the high road bro!!
While I respect the honesty and logic if I was looking to test drive, I could have easily done it the other night or long ago. I'm really not, I'm looking to see if I am compatable with someone else. I got married young, my wife has not changed I have, by change I mean mature and improve. Honestly as shitty as it sounds I'm probably gonna go on the date. If I feel quilty at any point during that time I'll know I am with the wife I want to be with if not I'll question it and see if my wife can change. I'm not, and I repeat not looking for sex. I'm looking to see if a women can actually hold a conversation with me, have similar interests, makes the date about me as well by asking me about myself and my day ext. My profession/education and life experiance makes it easy for me to analyze a person and see what the are really after. I can read through most anyone by knowing what subliminal signs to look for ext.. shit they don't realize their even doing to give away there true intentions.
While I was saying cheating, I wasn't just talking sex. All of that intimacy that you are craving and seeking elsewhere, to a woman, that is cheating, and in most cases, it is far worse to them than if you just fkd some broad. Because women are about emotion.
I'm saying you don't have the right to "cheat" in any fashion. Two wrongs don't make a right, so don't be a wrong. Be a man and do what's right. IF, you are going to be married, then be married. If not, then don't.
Now how I really feel. I would've grabbed that bitch by the back of the neck and tossed her lying cheating motherfuckin ass out on the curb for the trash to pick up. Kids or no kids. You didn't do that for whatever reason. I can take a big wild guess based on all of your touchy feely comments. I wouldn't put up with, for one second, any kind of inter office romance or falsebook bullshit, especially from someone I don't trust. Trust is everything.
I absolutely love my wife, but I would do exactly that, and she knows it. And God help me if I were to find the two cheating culprets together because Ol Grit would have to figure out how to keester an iPhone so that I can log in to eroids from my cell.
Appreciate the perspective and honest feedback.
It's probably because I was young, dumb, in love, afraid of loss ext... and I'm a nice guy. Yeah I should have left your right. I didnt, family influenced my decision as well, and yes I had been with other women before her if that was your guess of maybe only being with her that was not the case.
I love my wife, I would never have sex behind her back, I'd feel to guilty. Also, I don't drink and drive, never have so my mind we be clear headed and I won't be acting or feeling based off of any feel good beverage.
So.I take it your wife doesn't like doggystyle either. Just a joke. Man life it's to short to let one bring you down. I was told once by my grandfather. When you get old you can sit on that front porch swing and tell yourself man I wish I would of done that or you can be sitting there telling everyone else what the fuck you did. Take it for what it is if you love her than fix it. If not go have a good time. Why not
Was your grandpa on the porch alone?
Haha. Don't be talking about my dead grandfather. No he was never alone and he enjoyed life to the fullest. I'll I.meant by that post was either fix your problems or you are going to have problems the rest of your life.
Thanks, really appreciate the comment and honest advise. And actually she does like doggy style lol.
Glad to hear you had the talk. Agree with Pale here, if the relationship is important...get professional help. Real friendship is hard to find, so do whats necessary to keep it, and if marriage longevity comes with it even better.
That is more like it. You guys need to sit down with a pro. Post haste.
Like I said before I think you deserve better, but idk about going about it this way. This girl my met probably seems really fuxkijg cool since you haven't talked to another girl now this way in 10 years, she came right up to you made you feel all good about yourself etc, moral of the story people seem great at first, girls and guys can hid their true colors for a long time, months, I lost a good girl a long time ago because of that. We were on our first break ever, I met this new girl she seemed awesome. Like my current girl at the time but with a better body etc ( me being vain lol, it was 5 years ago) so my real gf try's to come see me and I can bother to give her the time of day cause I'm all about this new girl. About a month in the new girl shows her true colors. I ruin my 3+ year relationship in a matter of likd 2 months. The one that got away man. Not saying your situation was like mine, just be careful, understand that a single 35 year old is most likely single for a reason, not sure how else to put that one. When you been in a relationship for that long your judgement is clouded, as was mine with the situation I explained before. I wouldn't have told you're wife you're going on a date, maybe lunch with a Friend, date sounds like the marriage is over. Yours sounds bad, maybe counseling can help idk, that cheating though, you know what forget everything I just said I forgot she cheated on you with another fucking guy. Fuck her and send her packing. She ruined it tjr day she did that. Trust is so hard to come by.
I love both points you make really hits home. Not sure about my next move. Really gotta think on this one alot.
Ace VenturaYou should get marriage counseling.
Thanks Ace, thinking about it.
Well man I been going through the same thing for a while. But it's vice versa. I'm the one acting dull....I'm the one in your wife's shoes. BUT it doesn't mean I don't love my wife. So we cant jump to conclusions and think your wife doesn't still love you. And man I have had 2/different opportunities to as you are thinking of doing. "Finding that ground w someone else that u are missing w ur wife."... But dont do it man. Cuz technically yes just in general yes u would be cheating. An not on you 'girlfriend' you'll be cheating on your WIFE. Not worth it.
I say and believe that when so much unhappiness comes about to where u don't even know anymore if your other half (wife) is worth sticking around......your children are worth the fight and an worth trying to get things back to where they were and remembering and seeing within each other why u guys married in the first place. The kids are worth the fight....you don't want ur Lil kids only being able to kiss one parent goodnight everynight. My homie I truly believe a broken home and a split family is the devils #1 ballpark to play his Gamez and ruin generations of good peoeple....children grow up w hate, some confused, or just a chip on their shoulder at life itself due to wondering why they didn't grow up like all the other kids w moms an pops...
From personal experience the first time my marriage was saved was through my counselor.....once a week meetings.....in my shoes my counselor was my pastor. And he saved us and our marriage...the second time when things went off track and I wanted out a few weeks l ater found out m wife was pregnant w my now 6 week old baby boy....now that I look back and think of those oppsrtunitities that u seem to be faced w .....I can't thank god enough that I didn't take them. All I needed was a Lil time to get things back on track.
Sorry to ramble bout it ....but man u touched a nerve w what I'm going through at the exact moment....ever need to rap shoot me a FR
Edit: I completely forgot about the her cheating on u part.
Thats a tough one man....I think your best judgement will have to come into play. We all make mistakes and should be overlooked at some point after redeeming ourselves. But HABITS are far much more harder to overlook. So if its a habit of hers then it should be treated a Lil different IMO....u have to loom at your life man, what's in your home that u have to lose by being inforgiving (the kids) it as I said. Kids ARE NOT THE REASON TO STAY MARRIED! but the are enough reason to TRY AND mend a broken or fallling apart marriage.
Damn bro, thank you so much for the thoughtful words and advice. I really am thinking about counseling, I'm just so confused. Much appreciated.
I don't have much time, but she already cheated on you, period, , what does that say about her character, morals, ethics? And, from what I've seen, most people get caught only a small percentage of the time, that's just from what I've seen bro. Idk how you could trust her again after that, it's so hard to trust anyone in the first place. I feel so sorry for you, just for the getting cheated on part and you seem to be a dimamond in the rough ( no homo lol) and just how fucking disrespectful that is to do to a man. Based of what you've said you deserve a good faithful women with common interests, and a bunch of other shit I don't have time to type to spend you're life with. I don't have kids yet so I can't really understand that whole part and wanting to keep the family together for that reason, I understand it but it's not something one can fully grasp until they have kids of their own. But you don't deserve to be unhappy stuck in this what sounds like a terrible relationship for this short time were on this planet because you're worried you're kids have to grow up in two different homes and what that MIGHT do to them. Might being the key word, I know plenty of kids who grew up in homes with both loving parents who turned out like shit, and kids who grew up with divored parents and turned out to be great kids. Another thing I've noticed is It's the hardest when they're teenagers, if they're still young it will be much easier on them. But I would probably try to get out of this marriage, she broke that sacred trust, without it what's left?