girls are just as shallow as guys
I didn't get much attention from girls at 20+ percent bodyfat but now i have gone down to around 14 percent and just walking in the mall girls will compliment my hair and clothes, but never my body or face unless they think I can't hear them. I've never changed my style but never got compliments about this stuff before but now its very often. I wasn't ugly or incredibly good looking before but cutting down the bodyfat makes my face look like a different person. The girl working the counter at the gym even asked me out after some conversation. Girls are visual just as much as guys are...they say they want a smart caring man but really they want a good looking guy above all else. When they say they like confident men they mean they want a hot guy confident enough to approach and talk to them. Posting a shirtless picture on a dating site tons of girls will say on their profile that they dont like when guys post shirtless pics but I get way more attention that way. I've observed this in several different situations and even with my buddies. I'm not a stupid guy, im a member of mensa but being smart and having a good job has gotten me laid 0 times. the girls who liked me because of these things only thought of these things as a bonus.
You can say there is good looking girls with ugly guys but think how much attention you pay to these people... we pay attention to them because its not very common. You can say these girls go for these guys because of their personalities but really there is tons of guys with good personalities and good looks these girls have options for. Anybody who has gone out with a less attractive girl probably gets pressure from friends and family to upgrade to someone better.
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AnonYou know what's weird is that everyone of you are right. I have a niece that is a loser magnet. She never picks a winner. Anyone else know someone like that?
In sociology women also look for men with status and money. With money comes better health and the babies get a better education. So women not only look for masculinity. Anna Nichole Smith was seriously in love with the old man?
If anyone is interested I have an email from a gold digger who is interested but is already telling me she hopes I have money because she doesn't and money just makes things easier.
AnonYour appearance is what will get anyones attention at first. There are plenty of studies that show we all do this. It's just human nature. I don't believe it is shallow for either sex to go on what pleases the eye at first.
GIRLS DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY WANT! Simple
LOL.. neither do boys
Yep pretty much...
nothing shallow about wanting the best for urself. no one wants to date a fat hairy guy. i was joking below ofcourse
tread-mHave not read the whole page but here's the simple truth of it.
Its not really shallow necessarily although I know what you mean. In reality its pretty deep and goes back to the origin of man. First up realize, we are animals with instincts just like all other animals. Flowers are pretty to attract bee's. This allows the flower to survive and multiply. Notice many species of plant and animal the female is pretty plain and the male all purty and or masculine. This is because we are the driving force for procreation. I know, pretty deep here based on the above but your thoughts above are sorta shallow themselves and not thinking as deep as the reality of all this.
They did a study once and I believe it was John Stossil I saw it on yrs ago. They took women that were interviewed and specifically chose the women who said looks meant nothing to them, literally nothing. So then they began showing pictures of guys to these women and the women were to rate like or dislike etc and all of them were doing things they didn't realize and the men that got the highest number of likes had several things in common. Most of the likes were men with wide shoulders for example. The narrow shoulders did not get many likes.
Anyway long story short the show actually was discussing and revgealing a much deeper thought process the women didn't realize themselves.
Even though their conscious state of mind was true in thinking they wanted a very nice , loving , caring man....their deep down instinct was constantly looking for a man who would make the best and healthiest babies. Now these could be women who either wanted no children or had already had their chilldren and wanted no more or had operations and were unable to have more kids etc. It does not matter because from an instinct point the survival of the fitest point is acting and its often against our will as men or women. The place where "I know not what I do" is actually a true statement.
Men btw do the same things. We look like the bee's for the "pretty flower" to pollinate. The wide hips for mating and a healthy woman for having our children, even if we don't want children. Look how women heavily accent those features such as eyes and lips and dress to show off the hips and be attractive. Its being attractive to mate and procreate even though they have simply learned the behaviors and really are not intentionally trying to look "good for having healthy babies". All of it is instintual.
So its this....yes, the instinct will pull them to men who look good in terms of "wanting their seed" (lol) but the truth is, if you're a prick they will eventually reject you because we have evolved that way more than the lioness who simply wants the strongest. So while the strongest thing might get you in the door due to animal instint, it won't necessarily keeep you there if you don't have a good heart.
Point being, give the girls a break I guess, they are not nearly as shallow as the are instintual.
So brother when they tell you they want lil Tread babies with big ass baby delts and big ass baby traps and lil badass baby abs, they really also want sweet lil caring and loving baby Tread sweethearts that are soft and cuddly so I try to cover all those bases and you should too. I'll plus you 1 for getting in better shape and hope you're a nice guy too. Btw, nothing wrong with a woman wanting a guy in shape, that's not shallow either, it means she wants a guy who cares enough to take care of himself because if you can't take care of you , how will you care about her?
AnonHere here! At the end of the day everyone wants the best quality they can afford! Its FAR FAR from shallow! Its primal instincts and quite possibly the deepest part of our soul!
I think the OP just may well have a bitterness due to rejection! Im glad to hear hes getting alot more compliments now hes in shape but to put all that down to 'women being shallow' is fkn SHALLOW! You the man Tread!
Wow you just took that to a new level! Guru knowledge.
AnonGirls vs guys eh?! I think were all a bit shallow as far as looks go but what the heck! If that affects the person getting rejected than its their problem! Its sad to say it but its just the way the world works! Id much prefer to fuck a good looking chick than a fat ugly chick! And i dont owe the fat chick an apology for that however... Ppl that actually go out of their way to tease or directly discriminate against the less attractive are in my opinion the most ugly of all! I dont think im shallow for this.. I think ppl will use any form of explanation they can rather than admit theyre simply not as attractive as the average bear! Again.. Sad but true!
I think females are way more shallow then males. I'm just a tad taller then 6 ft and I can tell you just my height get me laid, Its a fact that men that are taller tend to be more popular in shcool.
well since we are generalizing ... I didn't get any dates in high school because I was TALLER than 99% of the guys so using that logic Guys are just as shallow .. AND when I was dating as a 30 something I had guys tell me that they could NOT date me because I was TOO TALL .... >.< so WHO is shallow?
AnonTall Chics are hot, it never bothered me.
;-)
AnonI like a tall girl/women find them very attractive love when the wife wears high heals and is taller than me.
Are you 6 9 by any chance?
If I was.... I wouldn't tell you .... how does 5'2" sound ?
lol, all heights are good! Just that from 6ft9 or so on a girl I would start feeling intimidated (to approach) but hey if she where okay dating someone so much shorter it would be fine
Wow taller than 99% of the guys? Did you go to school in Oz or with bushmen or something? :0
And with rare exception women will exclude any guy who is not taller than themselves so there is no gender discrimination for a height bias.
Really you don't know much then about ME... I m probably taller than you and if you had read the post carefully I clarified that it was in HIGH SCHOOL ... and yes I m still taller than the AVERAGE guy .. my first husband was shorter than me and EVERYONE knows Goth doesn't even come close to being taller than me unless he's wearing my 4 in heels... but the whole point of my response was to note that his LOGIC was faulty .. and unless you are indeed a scientist and ran a study you can't say there is no gender discrimination ror height bias
As a matter of fact this was published this month:
http://www.upi.com/Health_News/2013/04/09/Study-Women-prefer-tall-men-la...
Study from Au by Dr. Bob Wong (not making that up) proving women want taller guys with big weiners. So we have science to support up the OP's statement not "faulty LOGIC" or some irrelevant personal anecdote.
LOL... one study does not make something an absolute . and I m sorry you find my personal anecdote irrelevant .. again you miss the point that one cannot generalize.. I find your offense to my personal anecdote interesting as well you should note that my response to the one with faulty logic was not the original poster. Since I don't wish to continue the debate as you will want to have the last word I leave you to your study and your last word whatever it might be.
You're probably right but Grrrl is 6ft9 and 7ft1 with her heels on, you cant expect her to find someone taller?? ;-)
Ha ha yeah 99th %tile for men is like 6'4" so yeah she'll have to buck the trend and go shorter.
I love them all tall ones, short ones, strong, skinny. I'd take you on a the best date of your life hrdbdygrrrrl! In my opinion tall woman are more fun:)
AnonI would of dated you girl im a midget ethnic we would of been hot together!
Looks will get you in the door but to stay there is when the rest of you comes into play.
100% agree, once those abs come out, these girls go crazy and drop their panties in ur hand
I agree and disagree. Although it is true that both men & women are shallow, many also evolve out of it. For instance I can't say all women are shallow unless I have met and observed accurately "ALL" women. We always judge from are limited perspective. I do believe though that there are few good men & women compared to the many. Again this is only based on my life's perspective. It is very hard to find a constant in human behavior because we are all so easily moved by are emotions and life experiences.
"Girls are visual just as much as guys are...they say they want a smart caring man but really they want a good looking guy above all else"
I think in this quote of yours both is true. I do believe they want a good looking man but for any prolonged relationship looks can get old very quick especially if the person reveals what a self important ass they are. I mean through life I have observed people I know cheat on their partner with someone not even as aesthetically pleasing to the eye. So I guess the truth is we want it all, but outward looks are always fading therefore only inward development and beauty can go on to the end.
Your observations are valid up until age 30. After that, $$$ is what matters to women with everything else a distant second.
speak for yourself...
Anonditto!
Join in MissC, let others hear from the women so there doesn't have to be guessing
Lol! I knew that was coming. Give them your wisdom Grrrl, then it will remove the guessing from what a real women who is the total package thinks;)
pank, it is called maturity .. pretty plain and simple .. some, maybe very few People get beyond the looks. They understand that beyond looks is substance and substance is what makes a relationship last. I have the pleasure of being married to a hottie, but it is the substance behind that hotness that keeps the hotness hot ..... Good looking and hot aren't just about looks. There is no denying physical attractiveness doesn't draw a person but you aren't gonna keep someone there with just your good looks. Oh so often, good looking men and women open their mouths and completely ruin it. No substance.
In all honesty it is very unfair to label this as woman issue or even a man issue. It is a people issue. It is ridiculous to stick everyone in the same boat. I dont care to have someone lump me into a group and tell me how I only married my current husband for cash and his good looks.
As one who has been married for 24 years I concur! The self life on outward appearance runs out very quick when the person on the other side is hoping for something substantially more fulfilling. This is always the problem when we state our opinion as if it equals factual truth. At best only can a person give an opinion about the limited number of people they know compared to a world with billions. Not to mention the diverse cultures and customs that we are ignorant of.
bbondsDude wholly shit you hit that one right on the nose my friend, +1 bro.
This is true, and also why I prioritize my aesthetic value because that's what drops the panties. Unless your filthy rich, having a fit body is pretty necessary when picking up women.
"...pressure from friends and family to upgrade to someone better" a Sheldon 2.0 if you will. LOL Yes when on cycle you gain confidence I noticed this too as an introvert people also i found listened to me more. People act the same way depending how you talk to them ie open smile etc. We are all whores struggling in a class struggle for status an approval to get laid.
breakingfaceWhenever I introduce myself to a give I say " Hey Im john blookerton mensa member since 1996- whats your name?"
haha i've never told anybody I think its pretty pretentious and "hey look at me" type of behavior. I let people judge those types of things by how I conduct myself. The point I wanted to make is women will never openly admit these factors are secondary in attraction to men while men will tell you straight out that they want some nice tits, a big ol ass and tight waist with a pretty ol' face and a woman's education or social status is like finding out your vials are filled to 13 ml instead of 10. Have you ever heard women diss or talk about men who they rejected or aren't attracted to? They are generally much crueler and more sadistic then men.
Valid points and well articulated. I believe looks/physical appearance help ascertain the first indicator of interests and then the confidence to approach and the personality to backup that approach with stimulating conversation escalates the interaction.
exactly. The thing is the better looking you are the less the interaction matters. If a girl is extremely attracted you can say almost anything to her and she will still be willing to further her conversation and interaction with you while overlooking your lack of charisma. Granted this doesn't work as well for relationships. It works the same with us guys, the more attractive a girl is the more we are willing to sacrifice to be with her and keep her. Things attractive people say are more interesting. Clothes attractive people wear look better. As a society we worship looks and physical beauty. What's interesting to me is how successful comedians are often very goofy looking. I cant think of any exceptions. It's easier to laugh at people who you think are below average in some way; their stories are also more believable. Just like the videos of obese people dancing on youtube get millions of views.