Hey bro, just read this.
I'm sorry that you had to go through this. There isn't a kid in the world who should ever have to suffer at the hands of an adult. I commend you for fighting hard to break the cycle as an adult.
I'll share my opinion, but absolutely respect any decision you make. You and only you understands what you went through, and I'm not going to pretend to understand what kind of shit you went through.
I think you need to sit down and talk to your dad. Tell him how you felt and what you did after he did certain things to you. Do it calmly, so that you can paint a good clear picture and so he knows what kind of pain he put you through. Talk about specific instances, talk about what he did, and how you felt etc. Helping him understand clearly the pain that he caused will hurt him a hell of a lot more than you knocking his teeth out. Talk as long as you need to so that you feel satisfied that he has a full understanding of what kind of pain he put you through.
He needs to know with a clear picture what he did.
After you are done tell him that you are going to do your best to forgive him because after all the things he took from you as a child, he could never take your heart.

Then what you need to do is forgive him. Not for him, but for you. Carrying the hate and resentment around only hurts you. There was a time in my life that I was wronged pretty seriously, and carrying around all of that hate damn near ruined me. The anger consumed me to a point that it made me uglier than the person that wronged me. It wasn't until I really forgave that I started to heal.

That's just my opinion bro. I'm sorry again that you had to deal with that. It sounds like you are a pretty good dude, doing a hell of a job becoming the real man that your father didn't teach you to be.
That deserves points from me.

I don't want to go into too much detail about my father and the things I lived through but I'll say that it was very similar. Maybe worse because he wasn't an alcoholic or drug addict. He was of perfectly sound mind but in his culture (he was born in Israel) he believed if you weren't a tough boy, you'd grow to be a weak man. He isn't dying, but about a year ago I found out he is serving what will turn out to be a life sentence at his age. All the resentment , all the hate, all the horrible memories went out the window when I saw this man who lived his life and taught his children that only the strong survive, in a totally debilitating weakened state. It was humbling! There was nothing to do but accept who he was ad make my peace. I totally understand the way you feel brother, but if you don't in some way speak your peace, you will regret it. Your options are to just say fuck it and hopefully forget. Or you can be a better man than he will ever be by forgiving and making peace. Either way, I got your back partner. You need me ,you know how to find me.

I am a firm believer that people get what they deserve with that being said, and sorry if that sounds wrong, but I have to agree with you bro: what good will it do now to talk about it. What you can do is use this pain to your advantage, like you did at the gym, as long as you can control it. However, if it starts to effect your life or the people around you, then you have to talk about with someone. I talk to my wife about shit that has happened in my past and I find it helps a lot

Such a sad post :( My heart goes out to you. Imho I think you would feel better and have peace of mind if you were to speak to him and tell him exactly how you felt/feel. A lot of people regret never saying anything once it is too late. Whatever choice you make will be the right one for you though ;) My thoughts are with you hun.

Sorry to hear that man. In my personal opinion I would talk to him. I mean you could just ask him why he did those things. He may try to deny or disagree about it. Or the other thing is he could apologise.

If nothing changes during the confrontation at least when he passes you will eventually have the piece of mind to be able to move on and live your life to try and be a better man then he ever was. If he does apologise and try to fix what he can then you can forgive him

If you never talk to him, DO NOT beat yourself up about it later in life.

Sometimes it is better to be the bigger person and forgive. Being rejected is one of the worst feelings someone can go through.

good luck

Wow...I really want to comment on this, but I could write pages. To put it simple, I know where you are coming from...I had a TERRIBLE relationship with my father and still do. He wants to reach out, but right now...I won't let him, it's still not time for me. It's hard to get into, but the guy has some MAJOR problems...he abused my mother and my sister and me for years. It may not have been so much physical, but downright mental and emotional warfare. He's so much of an asshole, he doesn't even know how much of an asshole that he is. The dude was NEVER here while I was growing up and if he was, he was drunk and non-existant...acted like he didn't care we were even alive. He is a master manipulator and control freak, it gets donwright scary....and the booze doesn't help someone's bad habits/behaviors. My parents are FINALLY divorced after 35 years and it's the best thing that ever happened...for EVERYONE!!! Geez....I could go on and on.

Point is, is that there comes a time to make amends with yourself and someday with whoever else...only YOU can choose that time and make it the best time. Other than that, it will backfire...like how telling your mom will crush her. You can tell her, I just think it's better to do that LATER...after your dad has 'moved on'...I am not trying to be an asshole and be morbid by saying that, but somethings like that are meant to be said to certain others at the right time only, ya know?...just for the sake of yourself, her and your father. I used to carry around ALOT of anger and it came out in my behavior...I ended up in prison because of my anger and resentments, and it probably stemmed from the wreckage of my past. The best thing to do is to bust off that rear-view mirror in your life...you can't move backwards, ONLY forwards.

sorry to hear it bro. you know that me and the entire eroids family is here for you. as far as the situation. let it ride. no good will come of bringing it back. enjoy the time u hav left.

Sorry to hear that bro, I am no dr., but I say take that shit to your grave, no good can come from it now. I have stuff not the same, but similar, and I stuff it away dont ever talk about it. That's the key is doing what you did, by channeling your emotions into a healthy outlet, so many people cant deal w/ what you're dealing w/ right now w/ out using alcohol or drugs to numb the pain. Stay strong. I figure everyone's got a skeleton in their closet?... Keep up the hard work...

My heart goes out to you and your family brother. Your story hits close to home for me. As a child i put up with alot of abuse from my father who was also a drunk and a junkie for many years. He left my mother ( who is a saint ) to raise my brother and I by her self. As time went on and i got older i grew to FUCKING hate my father and swore to never be the kind of man he was and even to this day i strive to be a better father, husband and a better person than he was.
As we both grew older and as the years went by he tried to reconect with his family and make up for lost time and all the fucked up shit that he put us through. I tend to hold grudges, so for years i wanted nothing to do with him and bascialy gave him the coldest of shoulders as he did to me all those years when i just wanted someone to look up too.
My father died of an OD when i was 17, and there were alot of unresolved issues and SO many things that i wanted to say to him, but because of my stuborness and my animosity towards him, well i never got the chance. It is one of my biggest regrets to this day Monstahh that i never confronted him about how i felt about him all those years. 11 years later and that shit still haunts me. The pain is still there and it will never go away because it was never resolved. Now, i cant tell you what to do, that is for you to decide. I know that in your heart you will make the right decision for YOU.
Thanks for letting me share and good luck brother.

I think it would probably be good for you to confront him about the past. It may help you let it go by letting him know how he affected your life. He is probably gonna be gone soon but you are gonna be around for many years too come.Get that shit off your mind and make him take it with him.

My father died recently, even if you have mixed feelings man up and be there by his side when he needs you and when it's time to go. You don't get a 2nd chance at this.

Damn my brother Monstah I know a thing about abuse or two. My step dad abused me and the same thing happened to me as did u. I fought and fought and gang banged and rode with some serious demons on my trip down a personal hell. I let it control me and my life. Until finally I was too tired and broken to fight. I gave up entirely. I almost lost my wife and nearly my life. U know what saved me brother? I forgave. I forgave him and myself. I blamed myself for it all. When I finally stopped telling myself I wasn't worth shit I finally had the courage to forgive. In forgiveness we are at our most fearless and strongest. I've been in therapy for a year and honestly I regret never doing it sooner. Best of luck to u brother. If u ever need to chat bro hit me up.

I am really sorry to hear this. My prayers go out to you and your dad. One thing i can say i wouldnt leave anything unsaid. Even if what u have to say is negative and just something you have to get off your chest. Talking to him may change nothing or it may change everything. telling him how you feel should at least help you get rid of some of that anger, thats eating you up. You will never know unless you try. I am sure that when he reflects back on his life he regrets alot he has done..... My father passed away suddenly, we didnt have a good relationship to say the least. We left alot of things unsaid between us. To this day it still bothers me.

I am sorry to hear about your dad,I would go talk to him. Just to get it off your chest will be like a huge weight lifted off you. You obviously have been caring this around for a while and I think it's time before it's to late. If you don't feel better after talking to him at least you know you tried. Don't spend the rest of your life wondering "what if". Have the talk. Good Luck My Friend.