posted Tue, 08/16/2011 - 07:44
43486
Welcome to the Ladies Lounge.. Gentlemen are Welcome!
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So here it is at last the ladies lounge.. I'm not sure how many other ladies are out there but it sure would be nice to hear from you.. Boys.. post at your own risk!!
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sgtstedankoThanks, I did feel a little under appreciated up until then : )
its sad that all youve done for this grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl and the only credit she wants to give you is by telling you that your #1
sgtstedankoYeah! She didn't even tell me that! She didn't even tell me that... Gotta go investigate brother. I lost 6 points in 5 hour slumber! I should prob back track to see what I did wrong : (
sgtstedankoRuh row... It would seem, even Sarge underestimated grrls power & authority over the situation : ( "grrl you promised the handcuffs were for something more pleasurable". His unwillingness to hit a lady, would prove to be his downfall... Oh, & by the way, Pope & I unlocked the houseboys cage; they are all running around the back yard, giggling, skipping, prancing, frolicing, & fondling each other. It's pure gay chaos! I hid the shock collars' remote. Sarge, isn't too worried though, as the rest of the strippers have already started to arrive. Tread & Tex will certainly follow shortly!?
AnonDon t need the collars anymore sarge, I trained them while you were away tto come when i called..oh and the strippers were given false directions...I get to have my way ...on some many different levels :-)
sgtstedankoYOU CAN'T TRAIN HOUSEBOYS! Everybody knows that : ) That's cheating
Anoneveryone at some point.. bends to my will ;-)
sgtstedankoI'm starting to see that : )
popeboy walks in, sees that the lounge has been abandoned, walks over to the fridge, putts 2 cases of miller lite in there, gets on the phone and calls up some of the cavers to attend this "throw down in the ladies lounge party" hes fixing to kick off, tread and tx help pb carry in some munchies and bottles of jager and patrone. walks over to the corner and pee's "hey sometimes you gotta let dem know whats really yours" and then goes to the couch and turns on skinomax. time to get this bitch crunk
sgtstedankoSarge wakes up after his new year slumber, to the sound of someone furiously masturbating to skinomax, screaming obscenities at the tv. Hey, brother! You know I always bring the jager. You bring the fuckits... I'll get some strippers out of the basement, & the stripper pole waxed up, & start the hottietub. For the annual man cave StripOlympics! Yippee! Peeing in the corner!? Really!? Dude we can't fuck this place up again.
well I'm not going to get a bladder infection from holding it. grab you a corner hardbody is going to be pissed lol
sgtstedankoI hear ya brother, I wouldn't either... I've got myself handcuffed in My corner. She can't be too pissed. After all I spent like a month fixing this place up; not to mention the houseboy roundup & shock collaring of 2011. Besides, I didn't get a Christmas card from her this year : ( after I sent her $1000 worth of Var; & I even paid the gas bill last month! The grrls do let me spend a lot of time here...
yeah Im glad youve earned your right to do what you want in here, weve got a surprise for grrrrl as you see ive comment above ;)
sgtstedankoDP!!! Censored for your protection : )
Anongirl walks into den and sits down at desk...time to get busy and send out Christmas Cards and finish wrapping gifts. Don't ask if you were naughty, you aren't getting one
HEY, take that back, i have been noting but nice, i just didnt know this place still existed. Had i known I would have stopped by to say hi. oh look presents, these would look nice in the cave, im takin em to the cave so we can at least act like someone cares about us over there
Anontake your hands of those presents mister.. I'll have you know I removed them from the cave and they won't be returning there!!!
just hobbled over from the over 40s lounge,all the old guys are sleeping.
the viking is on a raid!!!
just here to wish all you iron maidens a merry christmas and a happy and prosperous new year;
all the best ladies keep pumping!!!!.
Anonwelcome Viking Raids are always welcome!! Merry Christmas
no no Sarge.and alittle of scenery is nice .Keep the robe open ;)
sgtstedankoThanks For the reassuring susieQ : )
sgtstedankoDid I scare all you grrls away!? I promise to close my robe : )
Anonrobe?? that's a robe? that looks like my night shirt..;-).. don't bother trying to close it, it doesn't even fit you.
sgtstedanko;o That's why it doesn't fit. Where are my pants ;(
AnonYou weren't wearing any pants when you got here ;-0
sgtstedankoI never am wearing any around here. These days, who has time. I like to show off my little chicken legs : )
Anonyou don't ever seem to be wearing any pants sgt..
sgtstedankoI have no time for pants these days. Especially this time of year, I do however wear my boots, mistletoe belt buckle, and a hat {not inside though} : )
AnonAm I supposed to give you my surprised look?
sgtstedankoNo, I'd expect you would know that already : ) Are you getting sick of the endless administration of spankings for all the naughty eroiders yet; or is the power corrupting you!?
sgtstedankoDamnit!?
AnonGrrl walks into the Lounge with Christmas presents. She sends the house boys out to unload the tree and put it up. She sets down the presents and surveys her palatial estate. Decides to put the tree in the picture window. Walks into the kitchen makes herself a pot of coffee and a protein shake, cranks up the Christmas music and plans her next shopping spree
sgtstedankoGood to be back home!!! Grrl, you're a mod now; SWEET! Bout time : )
AnonHoney you,re HOME,!!!!
Guys.....Post at your own risk is a fucking understatement. I suggested some gear for a girl in another forum and she shattered my ball sack! Even if you think you know what is tolerable for some women ......Don't! Seriously. And by the way hrdbdy.....After the var suggestions I asked about around town, I now know why the girls around hear have facial hair! No hard feelings you know your shit. I've been stalking you for a week or so. Your new couches look great from the front yard!
AnonYes flip it's called using gear..:-) it's also called Nair and wax, I have a healthy investment in both...I ll be more gentle next time. You also have made some good posts. Come in and have a seat if you dare :-)
Anongrrrl walks into lounge with arm loads of flowers and candles... runs back out to car for chicken soup for the sarge since he is sick today.. she has to make sure her worker bee stays healthy and is able to keep those house boys in check
sgtstedankoThanks:) Just got all gooder today:):) So happy:) Chicken noodie Soup, YES! Thanks again.
Anonyou've been sick for so long we were worried about you.. and then you missed all the drama.. I ll have to get the house boys to fill you in ..
sgtstedankoWTF happened? PM me; but only if you want to be friends:) What kind of shit is that. What if i just want to pm some douchebag, and tell him he's a dumbass? But certainly not befriend him. Friendship, like trust, and love, is earned dammit. EROIDS What happened to you!?
did some one order a keg and hookers??? i guess it bout time we get a lil dirty dirty south back up in hur!!!
Popeboy goes to his 2000 canary yellow 4 door dodge ram magnum and lets out a trailor full of goats and as some of the goats have kegs attatched to their backs, one of them runs out the back of the trailor with Tread rodeo'n this mofo, cowboy hat in one hand and a large can of "fuck it!" in the other. TOO THE LOUNGE ROUDOFF! Tread yells. (why he's calling a goat roudoff is beyond me) and why does the have sticks tied to the goats head to make it look like antlers? STRANGE
AnonPO boy...honey you better get these goats outa my lounge pronto or there WILL be beatings going on ...and not the kind that you enjoy..
sgtstedankoOK girls, lights are dimmed, berry flavored candles are lit, your personal fav getting me some jam is playing on the stereo. The doors are locked. It's a quite, peaceful atmosphere.. No time limits. In fact, time doesn't even exist here. Enjoy the beauty of womanhood! Don't mind the cameras, that blinking red light means it's off:) Honest... When I had first envisioned the lounge, I was somewhat scared. Thinking that this would be the kind of shit that I would find inside... IMO, this should have been in the lounge from day one. With well lit ballerina pictures!!! LOTS! Maybe some healthy recipes. And sales? Just saying...
You can stimulate your clitoris with anything that feels good. Fingers and vibrators are the most frequent choices, although there are nearly as many female masturbation techniques as there are women. One of the great tips is to start someplace other than your clitoris. There are lots of other places that will cause pleasure and get you in the mood. Once you do get there, play with different speeds, pressures, directions, and so on. There is no "right way" to stimulate your clitoris; you'll just have to experiment and see what works best for you. Once you find something that feels good, keep doing it. When it begins to feel less good, try something else.
Hot Bath, Cold Water
When I'm taking a hot bath I love to masturbate. I use my fingers but I do something else to tease myself. I fill a bottle full of ice cold water and leave it right next to the tub. What's fun is when I squirt it on my clit right before I come. It shocks me and makes my orgasm go away for a little while. Then I get close again and do the same thing. I'll do this a couple of times and when I do orgasm it is huge because of all the build up.
Stuffed Animal
I love rubbing a stuffed animal against my . Starting slow, I increase the speed but reduce the pressure to tease me as long as I can stand it. I always have an orgasm. I've been doing this since I was little.
Shower Massager
Whenever I have the time while showering I will always use the hand-held massager. I start out really slow with the light setting and then I use the harder and stronger massage and hold it right up to my clit. I can orgasm as often as I want but after a while my knees get too weak to stand. Friends used to think that I was a clean freak, but now pretty much everyone knows what I'm doing so whenever I tell them that I need to shower they just laugh
Mirror
I sometimes lean a mirror against the dresser next to the bed and lie on my back in front of it. I'll put my feet on each side of the mirror on top of the dresser. Then I'll prop some pillows up behind me so I can see my vagina clearly. Then I'll masturbate any number of ways with or without toys. What's exciting is seeing my vagina while I play and during orgasm It's neat to see the PC muscles flex and my g-spot protruding as I get aroused. Because I ejaculate when I orgasm I can put on quite a show for myself.
Using Fingers
Sometimes I need to remind myself that it can be a lot of fun to masturbate with just my fingers. I usually use lube all around the area. I start with the area around my vagina and clit and get myself aroused with the antition. Before I put any fingers in me I will trace the outside of my vagina right on the lips. When I do put the fingers in I always like to explore inside. It seems like every time I do this I find a different spot the feels best. When I do get to my clit I almost always orgasm right away. Of course I rarely stop at one.
Pretend
I like to watch for a while and get really turned on. Then I turn out the lights and pretend I'm doing a masturbation scene with a bunch of crew members watching.
Hair Clippers
When I was younger before I could afford all these great toys I used to use hair clippers. I would hold it against my clit and orgasm every time
Vegetables
If I don't have a handy, I will get a cucumber or zucchini and wrap one half and put a condom on the other. I'll put the wrapped half between my mattress and box spring with the other end sticking out. Then I'll lube the condomed end get on my hands and knees. Backing into it is a blast.
Fantasy
I like turning off all the lights and fantasize about another woman going down on me. It isn't usually a specific person, just a woman. I always orgasm from this.
Waterbed and oil
My all time favorite is to pull the sheets off the waterbed and cover it with baby oil. I get on naked and just roll all over the place. Everywhere I touch myself feels good and I could orgams really easy but I hold back for a while and let it build so it's really big. I don't do this often because it's so messy, but when I do it's really, really fun!
Female Masturbation and Orgasm
One of the most important aspects of female masturbation is that it gives you a chance to learn your body. Once you learn it, you will not only be able to give yourself pleasure, you will also be able to teach someone else how to please you as well.
Every area of your body is a potential pleasure zone, but in order to figure out where, you must explore yourself with an open mind and without shame. Every woman's body is beautiful, so don't fixate on those places you want to change. Save that for another day (or better yet, never again). On this day it's all about making yourself feel pleasure, so only think about the good stuff.
Start by grabbing a mirror and a good source of light and examining all those places you may have avoided until now. This is one of the first ways we can remove some of those silly inhibitions that that are often placed on your sexuality. Your vagina and anus are a natural part of the female anatomy and once you recognize this you can begin to allow yourself the pleasure that they can give you. Familiarity becomes pleasure-ability. Betty Dodson, Ph.D. tells the story of a couple coming into her office with sexual difficulties in their relationship. One of the first things she did was to get out a mirror and encourage both of them to check out the female patent's vagina. Both of them explained that neither of them had ever actually looked at it before. My guess is that ignorance to something as basic as this was likely at the root of their problem. P.S. I'm told these work well... But, If any of these don't work pm me with pics;( Sorry ladies, had to be done... Cold shower time; AGAIN!
Sincerely, HAPPY HARRY HARDON
Wo! This post just looks way to long to read and no popup pictures. If I have to scroll across the entire ipad screen just to pass this post than it's a clear nonsense intdicator. Read a few bits and portions and kinda funny though.
OK look buddy, it's my job to enforce the law around here. This is clearly not your first time--you've been at this for a while. I oghta run you in right now, you fucking tree jumper.
Gacy....Bundy....Dalhmer...you guys all have one thing in common--you started out in the Ladies Lounge, and it all went south from there.
Thanks to you, my wife won't fuck me.... Now I have to use fresh produce, and last night she screamed "OH SEARGENT"!!!! I thought the cops had busted in the door.
sgtstedankoTEEEHEEEE... OH No! Hey, Goth your back! YES!!! For, a second there, I thought that I had angered you. Whew... I prefer hiding in the bushes. Less of a fall. Kinda hard to old onto branches, you know:) WOW, My mom will be so proud; what a distinguished list to be compared to. I feel so pretty... Did they all really start out there? I hope not. Anyway, If I were to become, some sadistic fuck hole. I hope that I'd be better than all those dudes combined. I really do want to be the best at everything that I do. But certainly not without the ladies consent. But I'm harmless enough, most days. THESE ARENT THE DROIDS YOURE LOOKING FOR... Sorry, bout the wife... Makes me feel a little better. WOW, she almost actually used my full name. As for the cops busting in; I think you're safe brother. I've seen the pics of your house, cars, wife, etc. And unless you two just went around one day stealing shit just to post pics on here. You know what you're doing, right or wrong. But you can always, put the white ribbed "wife beater" tank top on, disconnect cable to the TV to get it to fuzz, and kick the dog. Go sit out on the front porch, and throw beer bottles at passing motorists, just to See what happens. FYI. In my experiences, it doesn't end well. But at least it's good for a story
LOL...true. Gotta have some form of entertainment
sgt, wow i fugured you were just some hard nose ex seal with a ton of old habbits picked up while overseas but now i see the truth. your just a southern red neck arent you? being compared to them guys be a big step for ya. your stable of ladies growing up surely consisted of all the neighbors animals. I can see you now <old dirt road, sittin on the porch wearing combat boots, white boxers a wife beater with a bottle of whiskey in one hand a beer in the other, a chicken on your lap????? and a prop needle still stickin out of your arm as you scream out in your roid-ragious voice "bitch is that corn bread done yet" ive been in the south now several years. i may know you...lol
sgtstedankoHuh? Where did this come from Joe? I really hope your trying to be funny. I'm sick today, so I don't know if I'm reading this properly. Either way, I'm in no mood... I honestly thought that tips would be a good addition to the ladies lounge. I can't say that more won't come:) Seriously, I like the addition... You are free to speak, and think as you wish; You're welcome. As for my service. Don't worry bout it. I know who I am, what I've done, and will continue doing, until I absolutely can't do it any longer. I'm more of a one woman, long term type of guy. I take my relationships very seriously, and honestly treasure every single second that I get to spend with my girl. Cause I've been in the game long enough to know... And I always will.. Honestly kind of why I'm here on site. Need to prolong this thing. My specialty, is Mostly paperwork though brother:( Pretty boring actually, I wouldn't want to put you to sleep. As always, you can pm me. You, Joe, need some dddiscipline. So, DROP AND GIVE ME 25! 50, if you were serious!!! If you want I can give you the name, and number of a good armed forces recruiter of your choice. I'd personally recommend the army, or probably marines for you. If you do, and put in the hard work needed 24/7, We just might meet some day a half decade or so down this ole dirt road of life:).. I've spent significant amounts of time in the south. I do love that southern drawl on the cowgrrls! I've spent the most time in the middle of America. Mountains mostly these days. All of my habits, good and bad. Were installed in me on U.S Soil brother. I'm honestly ALL American type of alpha male personality, don't smoke. Or drink very often for that matter. When I do, it's usually cause I had a shit day, can't sleep, scared to, and/or celebrations. And no, I honestly don't like being compared to those fuckholes at all dude. But I like Goth, a lot in fact, and think he was joking with that shit bro. I'm always adaptable, and I can be whatever the situation calls for though. I am certainly capable of it. Hey! You got me pegged though. That's exactly how I look. I bet next time you go to walmart, you just might see me. Test C/Sust brother... I've never in my life called my girl a bitch, and I never will. Only one man that I know of has, He's now handicapped. And I got to sit in a cell for 12 hours, to think about what I had done. I honestly feel bad
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." - President Theodore Roosevelt, 1910
De Oppresso Liber 01/20/2013
damn brother you are pretty deep. you know i was just messin with ya. some of the stuff you write be having ma laughin my ass off. you have an imagination and thats a good thing. i truly beleieve the greatest intelligence comes from people with great imaginations. yea i heard you were sick. hope thats better. i dont get sick much EVER i like to consider myself the healthiest fat man at my age. so you are a service man, thats cool just understand me bro, if i post ANYTHING other than in the reviews and on serious topics i am most likely just bullshittin. i am one of those fun guys that dont take much to serious- it causes stress- i read reviews and stuff like that here and gather info on my new found journey with aas but then i check out these off topic things and just shoot the shit so dont take any of that seriously, if i had any thing against anyone here i would just avoid them not harrass them. and the bitch comment i was in no way zeroing out your wife- i would not disrespect you nor her like that- it was a sceen i just came up with to be funny. as afr as discipline, reason nuber 1 i couldnt serve. i was raised in a violent city where i grew up not taking to kindly to authority. one of my sons just joined the army though. man coming from up north and then coming to the heart of dixie is to much for me but i was able to acomplish here what was forbidden me up north so here i am like a fish out of water. man i read the stuff people write in serious conversation and in jest and i do like quite a few people here because of their intelligence and their ability to relax and have fun as well. i work a serious job (not a cop) but in the justice system so i adapt to anyones level in order to achieve my goals. but we will get to know eachother a little better here and you will see i am usually playing around unless its a review or serious topic. ladies lounge is far from a serious forum. take care and see ya around and be ware i lurke in the background waiting for an oppertunity to pounce on a comment i think i can make light of.