Soccer? WTF
I've got a little boy that is 5 years old. Since conception, I have, on a daily basis drilled the sport of wrestling into his head. As a baby, he was attending wrestling matches, chilling in the wrestling room taking it all in, watching videos, etc. I have a wrestling room in my house that in the evenings he and I practice. This past year was his first year in competetive wrestling and he absolutely loved it. He just couldn't get enough as he finished his first season undeafeated. Admittedly, I taught him how to win using moves that capitalized on the weak necks of children his age, and some concealed small joint manipulation. I'm sorry, but that is all part of the Ed wrestling program. It worked, so if you don't like that you can lick my balls.
At any rate this is what happened; to my dissapointment and without my knowlege, my wife signed my kid up for a girls sport.. That's right, soccer. She breaks the news to me last night. I'm like WTF woman? What are you doing to my boy? She explains, all while showing some cleavage and talking sexy, so of course, I'm a sucker and I go along with it. Well, this morning I get a call from my little boy. He's all excited as he has returned from his first practice, tells me about his jersey, and how fun soccer is. In my heart, I want to yell at the boy, but because of my love for this little man, I pretend to be excited. After a few minutes of listening to the excitement, I tell him that I love him and hang up the phone. I bury my head into my hands and want to cry, but the masculinity in me hasn't allowed that since 1982.
What the hell am I supposed to do? Soccer? Can there be a gayer sport than soccer? (Not that there is anything wrong with that.)
I love my little boy and want him to be happy so I'm sure tonight, on my way home from work...I guess I'll have to stop by the sporting goods store and buy a damn soccer ball. Sonofa bitch. How fricken embarassing is that? I'd rather be purchasing something more masculine, like an economy pack of tampons.
All my love No Homo,
Ed
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Don't fret big guy, soccer players get the ladies. He's just getting an early jump. Plus, I played soccer when I was little. Once I hit middle school I shook it for football, then I shook that in high school for cage fighting. Got to let the kid do what he wants to do, drilling something into his head will only make him resent it (and maybe even you). I quit football because my dad pushed it so much. If he's excited about it, buy him all the fucking soccer gear you can afford and be supportive. At least he is being active and social. Good luck brother, the sting will fade and the boy will change- keep your head up
I hear ya bro. I've seen Pressure burn out some really good wrestlers. It's gotta be fun for the kid that's for sure.
That's all I'm saying. I know you're just blowing off some steam. A little wishful thinking never hurt anyone!
tread-mAwww...thats too bad, crocket and badminton must have been all booked up for the yr? ping pong?
I've heard that Soccer players juice with Estrogen.
CleyonIt's true, that's why when they score they are required to pull their shirts off to prove they don't have breasts.
I thought it was to prove that they do have breasts? I'm so confused.
CleyonIn soccer estrogen is seen as a performance enhancer, so they try to do as much as possible without growing tits. If you see a soccer player score and not pull up his jersey you can bet the rent he's got a handsome set of man cannons.
Holy hell, just got off the phone with the wifey and she tells me that his soccer coach is a girl. lol. I only laugh because I can't cry.
The soccer coach might be a right hottie....maybe you could suggest taking your son to practice
Yeah, I would but my son and I have a non-compete clause. He already called dibs.
lmao
CleyonTwo words... Soccer Moms.
Yeah bro, nothings says piss away half of everything I own like an overcompetetive woman in a minivan.
CleyonDamn you're good! Of course if she's a bull-dyke this will backfire badly.
loool...She probably is if she plays footie
CleyonMaybe, but I dated a couple of girls who played soccer in high school, they may be lezzies now, but they certainly were not back then!
Ohhhh....trust me they are now. Footie turns boys and girls gay lol. Sorry Ed...didn't mean to rub salt in your wounds
I know you didn't mean to but you did. Thanks.
Awww I'm sorry...rubs wounds better ;)
CleyonI'm crying deep inside for you.
Thanks bro. This has been the hardest day of my life.
CleyonFrom what Tread's saying, this weekend's going to be worse. :-O
Is it true that a soccer game can end in a Tie?
they usually end 0-0 ... lol
That's some serious nail biting brother!
ALPHAIf anything is gay, it's your post. Open your mind to new things, your post makes you seem sheltered. FCVtecis spot on, along with any other sport it is difficult in its own particular way.
lol, you gotta keep in mind ED is a joker. i was a soccer player and i turned out right (... or at least i would like to think so!).
wanna know who the real pussies are?! those kids who didn't do any high school sports. those are the kids that didnt put any dedication into something fun and challenging.
ALPHAToo true brother
Lol. Yes, please don't take any of this personal.
lol none taken. im going to go and skip to practice now like a foot fairy where i will be juggling balls and faking injuries...
Hey bro, you can keep that "opening your mind to new things" to yourself.
I
Last time I heard that was in the Eroids van and that didn't turn out very good.
Sux for you my son is a freashman football player that was moved up to be the starting JV right line backer! He is going to be wrestling and running track too..............something went wrong bro!
I coach one of the best youth football teams in @!#@$%$# at that age group and all my kids hate soccer LMAO (and yes SOCCER IS GAY)
Amen brother. I'm just hoping that my boy see's the light soon.
get him into a good flag football program by nature football and soccer players dont mix so that should set him straight!
I'm going to try brother. I'm thinking a the real FOOTBALL might be the ticket.
Yes there is a gayer sport than soccer. It's called WRESTLING. Grown men in spandex gropeing and humping each other... Didn't think this one through did u? I just watched a college wrestling match and it is the gayest thing i ever seen. One guys cock is bulging into the other guys face half the fucking match! Come on...
not as gay as a guy in a towel hiding his pubes hahaha.
BURN!
Ever see a Soccer player cross over to MMA? LOL. nope. Maybe MMAL (mixed man ass licking) But never MMA.
Who make the greatest MMA fighters? Wrestlers of course. Ok, BJJ too but it's all the same.
Right here. Soccer as a youngster, nationally ranked in both muay thai and BJJ at 17
Come on now we all played soccer as youngsters, that really doesn't count.
Just throwing out there... But I knocked the shit out of some cocky ass ball players and wrestlers in high school. I went from fat to built, then these fucks that used to bully me came walking into my MMA gym... >:] It was like christmas morning
Oh come on now, were they good wrestlers???
Actually sparred with the state champ for the weight division above me. They usually take me down, but BJJ beats wrestling on the ground every day. I won't tell you that I've never been beaten by a wrestler, but it's all about being well rounded. When football players walk into an mma gym looking to show off.... Well that's a good time!
yea man he is actually a stand up fighter but he needs to work on his ground game thats why he is going out for the team
MMAL ahahahah
CleyonNope, wrestling is the best sport (one of the oldest sports) ever... End o story.
Hey hey soccer is the most populer sport in the world...try running non stop for 90 minutes man! :0
I can, and have, masturbated for 90 minutes non stop ...