posted Wed, 06/05/2019 - 15:31
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+ 1 Steroids and Mental Health
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One of my best friends of 35 years took his onw life yesterday. He left a note saying his life sucks and everything had gone to shit. Whats crazy is he had a great job no financial issues a great family.
We were like brothers and about a month ago he asked me if i was going to kill myself how would i do it. I thought it was just buddies shooting the shit. Im having a hard time accepting this and not reading between the lines. He was a big gear head and thinking back whenever he was on gear he had huge highs and lows but when he was off he was much more stable. He loved Tren, HALO, Anadrol, Superdrol, ect. Just wanted to share this with you all so yu dont make the same mistake i did.
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Sorry to hear that WC, and sorry for your loss.
You're right though, certain compounds can cause a lot of anxiety, tension and dark or paranoid thoughts. And it may very well be cumulative and could exacerbate over time. Something for us all to think about anyway. If a certain compound causes you a lot of undue stress it may be in your best interest just to avoid said compound.
Who_CaresWhat makes it worse is that he did it the way i said i would do it :(
Not your fault though, like you said you thought you were just shooting the shit. His mind was already made up it seems. I would try not to dwell on that.
Who_CaresI know your right but its just a first reaction a tragedy. My goal now his helping his wife and kids as much as possible.
That should definitely be priority #1 at this point. I know you feel bad and confused but I don't even wanna try to imagine what it's like for them. Forget your issues and get in there and help with anything you can brother.
Who_CaresHe put a shotgun under his jaw. His head is gone. Has to be cremated. I dont drink but im having a few tonight. Just to take off the edge
Don't blame you, I probably would too. Just don't stay on that path too long.
Who_CaresYeah i know. His wife asked me if he said anything to me of course i lied. Why would he do this like that. It was killing me. I put her and the kids up in a hotel for 2 weeks so the garage could be cleaned out and just not have to be in that house so soon.
From his life as you described I don't understand it at all either. But I've seen people do things I absolutely cannot comprehend. Had a buddy with a great life, great wife, job, home, money, everything. He lost all of that messing with some skanky-ass whore. Wtf? I mean this nasty girl had nothing on his wife who adored him and he betrayed her and ended up divorced, on dope, jobless. How can you do that?
Not the same situation obviously but you know what I mean, people to incomprehensible stuff sometimes.
Who_CaresNo i see your what your saying. Why people do the stupid shit we do.
Who_CaresThanks HJ. I think some compounds multiply depression exponentially
I've not ran tren yet but that's kinda what I'm afraid of with it. I will say though that the stack I'm running now, npp/test p/mast p, has me feeling great. My mood has never been better, I'm definitely going to be repeating this one without a doubt. Gains are great but well being feeling is phenomenal.
Who_CaresThats awesome now when you stop and that well being is gone will you get down on yourself. Thats the true test. Probably and hopefully not but some guys may not be able to handle that loss of well being
Shouldn't be the case. Mentally I always feel better on cruise actually.
Who_CaresThats good to hear. Im always happy no matter what. Even in confrontations im still happy lol
RustyhookerOfftopic....
Sorry for your loss. We can never fully understand others actions. It sucks and everyone loses.
Who_CaresThanks Rusty.... I guess some are more subseptible to depression on gear than others.
RustyhookerYessir. Sad state of events too. Leaves ya with only questions and no solid answers.
Who_CaresI blame myself for not noticing but at the same time he could of spoke to me. We shared everything
TrenLiverNot your fault at all. And I’m sorry for your loss. Truly am.
He’s probably been thinking about that for along time and it was a spur of the moment decision.
The same thing could have happen without him using gear. We never know what someone is feeling like inside as close as we may be to them. Mental illness/depression is something we can’t tell when someone is suffering. Sooo a lot of times we don’t even know.
Do your best to be there for his wife and family.
Who_CaresThanks TL