+ 1 reality sucks
ok friends, i dont post alot for the sake of privacy...but i read perses post a couple weeks ago about significant others and ex's. WELL I THOUGHT I COULD HANDLE IT, NOT SO MUCH!!!!! WHAT DOES ONE DO, FOUND OUT SHE HAS BEEN HANGING WITH SEVERAL OF THE EX'S...AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO, THE ONLY OPTION I HAVE IS DIVORCEAND THERE GOES HALF OF EVERYTHING I HAVE, I BUST MY ASS 18 HRS A DAY FOR MY LIFE AND WELL IT SEEMS THE HARDER I TRY THE BIGGER ASSHOLE IAM...RUNNING CLOSE TO A 1000MG A WEEK LOOKING BETTER THEN EVER AND SHE TELLS ME TO PUT A SHIRT ON...SHE HASNT TOUCHED ME IN 2 MONTHS, I JUST CANT FIGURE IT OUT, REALLY THE ONLY REASON I AM POSTING HERE IS BECAUSE YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT WE DO AND USUALLY HOW SHORT THE TRIGGER IS..... BEFORE I GET JAMMED UP I JUST FIGURE I SHOULD ASK FOR HELP FROM THE EROIDS FAMILY. I WOULD NEVER HURT ANYONE MYSELF INCLUDED, IT JUST PISSES ME OFF THAT I COULD LOSE EVRYTHING I HAVE WRKED FOR.......IF THERE IS ANY WISDOM OUT THERE I WOULD APPRECIATE IT
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AnonI understand anger but the reality is that you only have a partial story .. you don't have all the facts you have assumptions and you have allowed assumptions and a partial story to make you angry ..
AnonI m gonna tell you that you may not use the terms that you did.. clean it up .. very simple.
Listen, get a hold of yourself. You are the man that you want to be, and she will just drag you along. Other opportunities will arise, and yes it's easier said than done, but you are the best person for someone else out there. Your lady should be telling you how buff your getting when you think your small, even if she's lying to you. Honestly I treat my lady like crap sometimes, really bad but she never goes running to her ex's and she knows that I love her, and don't mean a thing I did to hurt her. Be patient and the best thing you can do is look out for yourself brother!
Anonfirst off, all those "things" aren't important. You could lose them in a house fire or some other natural disaster or you could be dead tomorrow and they wouldn't do you a damn bit of good. Get some legal advice, you can go to legal aid in your county and get free help or they will tell you where to go. Why not just ask her what it is she wants? Why not ask her why she hasn't touched you in two months? Seems like this "problem" started a long time ago and has built up to this. Sometimes going to counseling is helpful in determining the direction you want to go in. Ask yourself what do you want? If you are more concerned about losing some things then prepare yourself to lose everything anyway ..
Anonfilthy whores huh??? women aren't the only ones who cheat buddy ...watch your mouth or I ll shut it for you .. you don't know all the circumstances for anyone's life, you only know what they tell you ..
Confidence is a turn on -ego is a turn off... put your shirt on.
Keep that ego/anger in check.
Do little things often: Complement her looks, give her a rose, rub her shoulders, message her scalp, pick up after yourself, pick up after her, cook her dinner.
Surprise her with tickets to HER favorite band or show.
Ask her out on a date.
Tell her how YOU feel -NOT what she is doing. Do not be confrontational.
Be vulnerable.
Pick up the book "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by John Gottman. Let her see that you are reading it. Ask if she would like to read it with you.
Suggest marriage counseling; Let her know she is the most important thing to you.
Your right on that, he needs to check with state laws and go see a Legal advisor. Raven, the guy at the bottum of the page has a point. Ask a Legal advisor if you can sell off all the things you bought.
Supernova283Or do the opposite. Start buying expensive things that hold value without her knowing and start hiding them.
Then once you divorce you bring all that stuff out and sell it.
My state is "no fault" state. She openly cheated. Still had to divide. Being clised mouth towards anyone though is best. What you say can sway judge against ya :(
I would stay quiet, be like a little bitch. Keep quiet, don't cause friction. She says put a shirt on, put a shirt on. She wants to go out and u know shes hanging with an EX, don;'t let her know that you know. Just let her do it. GATHER PROOF! Don't make waves while you're doing it. As much as it will suck and as hard as it is to stay quiet and humble, you have to. Don't go dropping any of the dudes. Don't start shit with her about it, just gather your evidence bro. Maybe a private investigator since you make some Lucci (at least I hope u do with all those hours u put in). As for the pain part of it, well, there is nothing that will make it hurt less. Just time and the knowledge that you have done right by her and if she doesn't appreciate you, someone else will. Good luck bro, this sucks!
Dammit! Double post
Hey brotha. Sorry to hear that you have to deal with this kind of crap. What you might do is take some time plan a little trip with your lady, something with a nice long drive to where you can both talk. Try to get a good understanding of where she is at, and what she is feeling. Try you best to figure out what she needs. Where you can do better etc. and then just tell her how you feel. Don't choke her and say "you dumb bitch I hate it when you...". Go about it like:" I feel horrible when I hear that you are hanging out with... ". Just put it out on how it makes you feel. That should kind of open things up. See if she is willing to try. And commit to trying yourself. Sometimes we don't realize when we are bodybuilding that we can get pretty self centered and we focus so hard on self improvement. So take that into account. I'd feel it out, give it 100% of you. She is either going to be willing to try or she isn't. I she is, you gotta do your part, if she isn't well brotha at least you know you tried your best. So go kick that dudes ass until you feel better.
Absolutely right!
THANKS GUYS, DONT LET MANY PEOPLE IN CLOSE THATA WHY IT IS SO HARD...AS FOR TIME INVESTED 15 YRS IT COMES TO CERTAIN POINT I GUESS WHERE I GOTTA MAN UP AND SAY IT IS WHAT IT IS, CARRY ON AND MOVE FORWARD. THE FUNNY THING IS EVERYONE THINKS JUICEHEADS ARE ALL STUPID AND GOOFY, YET SOME OF THE DEEPEST THINKERS ARE ON THIS SITE.. FUNNIEST PART ONE OF THE EX'S SHOWED UP EARLIER AND SUGGESTED I GET COUSELING, "MIGHT HELP ME ADAPT TO THE SITUATION", AND GET USED TO HIM BEING AROUND...
I'm sorry bro, that's a bad situation to have to be in. Much respect for not going off and busting heads bro, I wish I had better advice to give. A lot of guys I have talked to have been really happy after the dust settles from a divorce. +1 from me bro, keep your head up, and keeping living the lifestyle, everything else will eventually fall into place.
Yup Yup... Juice-heads are people too :-)
At least it's a good place where you can vent with someone that'd expert in this stuff. Most insurances cover counciling too.
Been divorced before. I did all the work...bough two homes. Two full time jobs. My check paid mortagage and all the bills. Her check was hers. If kids aren't involved....I'm sure glad that cheating broad is gone. It's not at all a light subject. Maybe try counsiling first?
Brother, only you can truly answer your question. Everyone processes life's obstacles deferentially. Take a deep breath, step back, and weigh your options. Life is far too short to be wasting time on someone who is not in it for the long haul but.... the time you have vested may be worth trying to work thing out. It takes commitment from both sides or it will never work. Talk to her, is this what she wants?
Some folks may jump on this thread saying " Screw her, get out, move on*. But again, you are the only one who can truly answer that.
Damn my man, im definitely sry to hear that while i can't give you advice i would sell shit and get outta that marriage. It will.be hard but u dont need that situation in ur life