Bro, I dealt with this same shit for 12 years, my story is on here somewhere. Your wife is a greedy power hungry cunt that did fuck other guys and has since you met her. Here is what you do, smash her car windows out, leave post on her company fb profile or linked in describing how fucked up she is. Call her employer and make accusations of drug use and promiscuous activity with colleagues. Once her car windows are fixed rip the valve stems out her tires all four.
You gotta get this bitch you cannot let her walk away without a consequence she has to be punished. My wife has had the shittiest life and she can’t figure out why nothing works out for her, it’s because I’m sabotaging every attempt she makes to improve her standings….fuck that bitch she made you suffer for her own ego…break the bitch in Half

Coming back to this, have you ever read 'The Game' it's a great book. Not for the whole pick up artist thing but it really sheds light on the oneitis mentality, check it out,

You'll get over it. It just takes a little time but for now, focus on you. My guess is you've never changed your environment or lifestyle since. Still bouncing around the same walls, my advice? Grab a backpack and go for a walk somewhere, hike, go spend time in nature, travel somewhere you've never been and stay in a hostel, meet some people, do new things and then go back after a month or two and see how you feel

Best advice l can give you bro. Get off your ass and move forward. Shes not the one. Get a nasty gym routine and get jacked as fuck. Fitness will make everyting in life line up. I achived so much these last few years going all in on my fitness. Phy and mentally ive never been better. Get fit as heck and you can have a new woman every week if you want bro.

I know this term gets thrown around a lot these days, and many people have never met a true one but rather just someone who's a bit of an Arsehole - BUT everything you have said there pal is typical behaviour of a Narcissistic Woman. I have an ex GF from about 20 years ago now that I wasted 4 years of my life with and she was also one. They are very cunning creatures and are master manipulators over time without you even realising what they are actually doing and how badly they are mistreating you. I bet when you first met her she was very charming and supportive, said all the right things and compliments that made you feel like a million bucks - then as she started to become the Boss in the relationship you felt more and more that you daren't have an opinion on anything in case it upset her and her rage came out, it became easier just to say nothing and do as she wanted.

These Bastards are also very good at blaming EVERYTHING that goes wrong on you, they also refuse to take any responsibility or accountability for any of the nasty things they do to you or anyone else in life. My ex cheated on me a number of times through the relationship, never once saying sorry for being a Slag - but instead saying it was my fault because I wasn't paying her enough attention!! Lol & like a stupid cunt I kept taking her back as she use to use sex to manipulate me back into the relationship again because I thought too much with my Cock Lmao

What you need to realise here also buddy is that although looking through rose tinted spectacles you think it was a very loving relationship in the early days for you, I can guarantee that for her it wasn't as Narcissists are incapable of feeling true love, they think they do in what their experience of it is but someone who is truly in love would never abuse their partner in any way at all. You sound like a Kind, generous and sensitive person mate and these bastards naturally gravitate towards people like that at the opposite end of the spectrum to themselves as they see you as weak minded and easy to manipulate into their way of thinking - YOU deserve someone so much better than her pal. Imagine you are sat watching a Film with the 2 main characters acting out everything you are saying above, wouldn't you be shouting at the screen for him to leave that Bitch??!!! Don't let your mind trick you into thinking that everything was Great and perfect pal now you are 6 months down the line because it never was - Our minds only want to see the good times without all the shit that went along with it.

I can guarantee that once you get your confidence and health where you want them to be she will see you out and about and do everything she can to get you back, but NEVER go back mate because you will end up right back in the same situation as where you left off. Been there and got the T shirt

Dude I am helping my best friend right now that went though a similar situation he just got divorced a month ago. He was wanting to even take his own life which would fucking destroy me and his twin brother. The advice I can give is you were abused and the mental toll is great but remember you are climbing out of it now from the bottom it's only up from here. Give yourself some self worth, you are strong, loyal, worth a lot take a step at a time and climb out of the hole.
Focus on yourself, Gear and the gym and a job you want to do for a living. Soon you will be jacked and get the physique you want and soon making the money you need and living a comfortable life and hopefully find a girl that will treat you right and how you should be treated. Please whatever you do, do not go back to that abusive girl, there is much better out there and you deserve better. It will be her loss not yours. Once you break out of this trial, man you are going to be so much stronger and you have so much to accomplish now for a better YOU!

P.S. If I knew you in person bro I would take you under my wing like I have my best friend. I know you both will be strong as hell when you get out of the hole. One small step at a time and the mountain will be conquered.

You have alot to offer to a woman and "a good woman " would kill to have a man/hubby like you. You went out of your ways to try to make things easier which you did, you went beyond yourself and you cannot lose respect for yourself again. You deserve better, stay clear from her. Love sometimes can come with baggage, its on her end and she was TOXIC! You need to heal inside, yet I know a man needs a woman at some point. Improve in your own life, be selfish and do you in all things . Before you know it, a love butterfly will come along again. Love takes time....tons of time. Infatuation is a different story but balance all things and make it count! You got this, my brother!!

I hope this helps you

Watch this on YouTube. Really put things in perspective on finding the right girl

Get in good shape take a job working the door at a club bar or music venue casinos have all three. Doing that you will get offers a fast and often as is possible for you. These jobs are night time on the weekend so it is an easy side job. If you don't need the money from this job buy a 6 month CD every month with all the money keep rolling these over for a few years you will have a healthy new income stream. In those few years you will eventually become bored with onenighters with sluts from the door guy job at this point you will have a bunch more money experience and confidence this will grant you access to a much hire quality of women. This is when you want to switch gears and start to do things that interest you were you could meet single ladies that are looking for more then hook ups. I recommend a cooking class even if you don't meet a good woman there you will become a better cook that and keeping your bathroom as clean as possible will help with women better than anything but money or being tall. Remember the goal us not a forever woman that's the dream you would hope for but the best way to get there is aim for relationships that are healthy non-toxic 3-5 years and hope it goes further. I have a similar story when I was that age no separate beds and she took my Doberman. This is what I did and it worked out great for me. I have had trouble lately getting my relationships to last longer then a few months but I am sure I can fix that by making better choices. You will get over it I know it sucks but it feels worse than it is.

A man's life is suffering. How well you embrace that makes you.. or it fucking breaks you.

Im sorry you went through all of this shit brother. Not just the girl, but seeing your bro die i front of your eyes. In my eyes, there are two ways out of this valley, so you can start your journey to your next peak. Either give in and see just how low you can get, feel sorry for yourself, let people walk all over you and be submissive or, have a solid look in the mirror, know what you have endured, know that you have been treated like shit, know that you witnessed your bro die right infront of your eyes and tell yourself " you know what? I bet no mother fucker on this planet has been what I have been through and seen what I have seen and continued on to be a badass mother fucker. A good friend and all around good dude" . This world doesn't give us anything that we can not handle. Every moment you have endured has brought you to where you are now. You have made it through already, its in the rear view mirror. Look forward, not behind my bro. You are way tougher than you think. You are a badass mother fucker , so start acting like it.

Keep her in the rearview mirror.

What you’re feeling right now is the residue of manipulation and abuse, not love. That fog takes time to clear.

In a few more months, when your nervous system settles, you’ll see the relationship for what it actually was, and you’ll be glad you didn’t go back.

Would run as far away from this situation as you need to including moving away and starting over. Work on your self in the mean time for your own self confidence. Can’t let a woman treat you like this man.

What the fuck bro. Why? I don’t understand you guys sometimes. I’m not one to give relationship advice because Ive yet to do one “correctly” but holy fuck that’s terrible.

Wow man, well harsh reality is is that she was most definitely cheating on you, she sounds like an absolute cunt and your better off without her. Now how about you go find a girl that will actually appreciate you. And stop being a door mat.

You sound similar to me almost 10 years ago, I wasn’t married but it was 7+ years in the most toxic relationship ever and I’m not saying i was some kinda saint. Anywho, you’re gonna need to love yourself homie and let go of that whole situation. I spent the following two years almost barely dating and reintroducing me to myself. I had to learn to like being alone and I had to learn to approach relationships a lil differently. The whole situation ended up being the catalyst for me bettering my life and telling myself that i will never rely on anyone but myself ever again. This isn’t the end homie, this is your opportunity to lock in, better yourself, and come out on top.

You're 30 years old man. This is the prime of your life. I would suggest working on whatever attachment issues or abandonment issues you're having, because you shouldn't want to be with a woman like that. You should never let anyone have power over you in that way. Once you conquer that, play the field and enjoy your 30s for Christs sake. Surround yourself with other strong, successful men. That's important.

Just because you’ve never loved anyone like her before in your life, doesn’t mean you CANT love another person as much or more than her. There’s plenty of people here on this forum who have had shitty first marriages, only the find the right one for them, and then see just how bright life can be.

Re-read what you wrote however many times is necessary for you to finally realize “getting her back” shouldn’t even cross your mind.

I'm not reading all of that, get it together bro.