Petecastiglione's picture
Petecastiglione
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+ 1 Dad jokes? Fun facts? Life advice? Anything interesting?

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I wanna hear it.
Or talk about it.
Or argue about it.
Or jerk to it.

No wrong answers (unless ur a lib)

olemasta's picture

Got some crazy requirements to stay in this group…

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SwolePumps's picture

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

To get to the bottom

It couldn’t handle all the shit at the top

PIN_CUSHION's picture

My 12yr old daughter told me this one. What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? You can’t unscrew a pregnant woman.

Milfpounder's picture

Pretty sure I've said this here before, but it's true:

If it's got tits or tires it's gonna give you problems.

Petecastiglione's picture

Fair assessment. What if it has a penis?

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Milfpounder's picture

If you suck it, it's still gonna give you problems

I'm like the wisdom of the juice

Aggieguy's picture

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?

-Because at 69 she has a frog stuck in her throat

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Riot28's picture

Dumb law: It is illegal to push a living moose out of a moving airplane in the state of Alaska. Charges for doing so could be at least $1000 dollar fine and 1 month in jail

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Riot28's picture

It's way to specific to not have happened. Either that or an Alaskan law maker wrote it down just for shits and giggles

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Asa's picture

Fun fact: I don't know the difference between a republican, democrat, liberal or conservative and I dont care to, so dont waste your time explaining it to me.

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thorny's picture

Why do I make noises every time I get up from a chair?

Because I'm a groan man.

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Petecastiglione's picture

Dad joke af +1

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HogCranker3000's picture

If she has borderline personality disorder, works at spirit halloween and makes music on some weird 1980s analog machine, she's not the one bro.

Spend time with your parents.

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Riot28's picture

But the head will be earth shattering

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Petecastiglione's picture

Ok but she definitely does anal

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HogCranker3000's picture

*Prefers anal

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Petecastiglione's picture

Yes thank you for correction

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76's picture

LMAO! Specifically accurate based on a couple of friends experiences!

TeaBody's picture

But I bet she's an amazing fuck

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Steeltoad777's picture

apparently... oxidizing epinephrine = adrenochrome

Petecastiglione's picture

Have u done it

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Steeltoad777's picture

I always figured if it was real, id have been offered some at some point in my travels.

I found my family members old med kit from Afghanistan and injected an expired epipen. Nothing happened. I should have let it hit some air I guess Smile

Bodhi's picture

I love telling dad jokes, but I’m not actually a father… does that make me a faux pa?

Every day I understand a little more why old men just stand in garages.

The older I get, the more expensive it is to feel normal.

I started wearing New Balance and now I have opinions about lawn care.

I remember when I felt normal for no reason.

I make noises when I stand up now. Nobody warned me about that.

I say “we’ll see,” and it never means yes.

I check the thermostat like I’m in charge of something.

I nod at strangers like we have shared history.

Nobody warned me my body would eventually become a list of maintenance tasks.

Nothing is wrong, but nothing is fully right anymore.

I used to be durable.

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Petecastiglione's picture

Right in the feels

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76's picture

I relate to every single thing you said....Shows my age.

Petecastiglione's picture

That was deep af

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Riot28's picture

Just riff off of @Bodhi here:
I work for a very small manufacturing company. So small that I am the only person that works in my building now. I never thought 45-50 hours a week in a shop building things by myself for mediocre pay would be the greatest job ever

When I say "For sure" to meeting up for drinks after work or anything out of my normal routine, that's means absolutely not.

I fondly remember being in punk/metal bands, chugging whiskey, blasting mystery powders up my nose and having sex with anything that had two legs and a pulse.
Now I check ingredient panels to make sure I won't get a tummy ache

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Petecastiglione's picture

Retweet

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Drexyl's picture

What’s the difference between a fag and a freezer?

A freezer doesn’t fart when you pull your meat out of it.

Petecastiglione's picture

Hahahaha

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frofrank's picture

My life advice is hangout/lift one day with frofrank and your opinion on the libs would change Smile or at least know theres some solid ones out there

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HogCranker3000's picture

This works both ways. I'm pretty conservative, more libertarian really.
I always describe my beliefs like this "i want gay married couples to be able to protect their marijuana plants with guns"

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frofrank's picture

Yessir I’m pretty centrist myself, just happen to lean left most of the time. But I own guns, don’t want kids on HRT, also want a stricter border policy. I think when you go outside and talk to your reasonable common sensed Americans you realize it’s only like 10-20% of policies you disagree on

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Petecastiglione's picture

I’m sure there is, we just aren’t gonna agree on most things and then ur side just name calls and throws tantrums

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