addicted.to.pain's picture
addicted.to.pain
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+ 2 Blue Balls .

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Blue Balls aka ‘ Epididymal Hypertension ‘

I remember when I was a Teenager Joking about or hearing Jokes about “Blue Balls” all the time.

“ Ahhhh Bro she didn’t put-out, she gave you Blue balls !! “

“ No Brandy You have to suck my dick I’ll get Blue Balls !! “

Though of course I never once had Blue balls when I was a Teenager or anytime after that … That is Until Recently . And let me tell you that shit is nothing to Joke about AT ALL !!! .

So it had been about a month since I’d been laid sad I know but hey shit happens , and also combine that with My dumb Ass deciding to Listen to those Youtube Videos that insist you don’t masturbate because it makes you stronger or something.

So I’m working on a month, no busted nuts, no nothing .

I get a Booty Call one night , Hell yes let's do this I’m thinking I’ll send this bitch to the moon with my backed up Holiday Creamer .

Long story Short we get down to it , We go at it for an hour or so and I’m holding it waiting for her to Gas out then I’ll Frost this bitch like a snowy Christmas Day. All of a Sudden I start Cramping Like I’ve gotta take a shit and I mean like mid-stroke I had to jump up and run to the Toilet.

Imagine an extreme constipated shit combined with being kicked in the Balls over and over right on target. That is the pain I’m feeling . I’m on the toilet and no joke it feels like I’m trying to shit my balls out of my ass.

Eventually I realize something is terribly wrong and I limp back to my room and collapse on the bed. The Girl, let's call her Jane Doe. Immediately asked Oh God what's wrong , I’m moaning in pain at this point My Balls My BALLS !! . She looks at me for a moment and just casually says oh you must have Blue Balls .

Like a light bulb going off DING , I say you’re a genius that is exactly what this is so I google it to confirm and sure as shit yep Blue Balls. I look at her and say I have to cum … She calmly mounts a Doggy style and I finish up very Carefully . Yes the Finishing up part Hurts like a Motherfucker .

Anyways we are dating now . Smile

UncleYoked's picture

name checks out

addicted.to.pain's picture

Looking back on it I jumped to thinking Blue balls because as soon as I released the Pain went away .

But it could be a Hernia or Testicular torsion or just something else caused from not having sex for to long combined with overly exerting myself during the finally having sex.

It hurt and I mean it hurt BAD but it has not happened since.

Makwa's picture

Might be worth a visit to doc to check for hernia

addicted.to.pain's picture

Seems you were right bro

Hernia in lower intestine leading down to my groin. Surgery in my near future.

Makwa's picture

Good you got it checked out. Been there and done that myself

Jockstrap's picture

Rub it out. Prostate issues linked to lack of sexxy time.

DeeMan's picture

So rub prostate fluid out?

DeeMan's picture

I have to admit that this post was a bit interesting and kind of funny.

Greg's picture

There's an age-old remedy known to most 13-year-olds. It's a 5-minute exercise that involves a sock and friction.

PIN_CUSHION's picture

5 minutes! Who's got time for that? 46, 47 seconds tops.

JakeKO's picture

That is an old myth and has been debunked a long time ago. Sex is said to weaken you mentally, not physically. That’s like depriving yourself of the best feeling in the world for the reward of the worst feeling in the world. Like I always tell my sons “Don’t do dumb shit!”

DeeMan's picture

You know to this day most boxers, whether amateur or professional still don't have sex before a fight.

Diesel22's picture

In college I played hockey and I wouldn’t have sex on game days cuz my legs would feel weak if I did have sex. So imo I believe in that but also I def don’t think it’s healthy to let your self not get off for that long.

DeeMan's picture

Yea I played alot of sports and one time before competition I violated this rule and paid the price..I did horrible in that game.

JakeKO's picture

Bro, I still have a few Rocky 4 soundtrack songs on my work out playlist. Mickey was very influential, to say the least, LOL

DeeMan's picture

MICKEY! The good ole days. Love when he fought Drago. That movie soundtrack good too.

Claudezilla's picture

Bwahaha I was golden gloves for over 10 years and it was always pushed on me to never ever have the sex even a week before fights lol

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DeeMan's picture

@Claudezilla Figured you was too big to fit in the ring.

JakeKO's picture

Ya know, maybe it’s good advice for the no gear guys. My ass has to have sex AT LEAST one time per day or I’m miserable. My wife is fucking awesome for that. I would marry her again right now, LOL

ForeverFitBod1's picture

Got an overdose batch of Melanotan once, they went from Smurf blue to purple. The nausea was bad also. It just kept getting harder and harder in my balls were feeling like they were being strangled. Almost went to the ER but luckily an ice pack down there saved the Day. I agree with the guys below sounds like a hernia you had

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JakeKO's picture

Bro, I got some of that shit on the way in hopes of keeping my vacation tan. Is this libido stuff really trues about Melatonin???? You’re exciting me now.

DeeMan's picture

Dont get too excited @JakeKO
you pop some melatonin ya ass going straight to sleep. Lol the last thing that will be working is your unit!
Sound the same but are different

JakeKO's picture

Fuckin spell check blows, LOL

Makwa's picture

I’ve never noticed any boost in libido from it

Gabriel Willis's picture

Melanotan…often confused with melatonin…and YES THE RUMORS ARE TRUE. Studies show it was an unexpected side effect. Once you get past the red, stuffy face and the stomach ache…it makes your unit hard as hell!!!

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DeeMan's picture

Yea I got a little confused myself

Drexyl's picture

Yeah man, sounds like an injury as opposed to blue balls, time will tell. So hard to diagnose without seeing, it’ll be easier if you post a pic of the ol’ apple bag. I’ll give you a thumbs up too. No homo.

NWApatches's picture

I concur having seeing thousands of sacs in my time I could better help identify if I were to see. Don't worry about those nuts being sucked slap up from using gear either. You need to put up a pic of your "apple bag", @addicted.to.pain

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press1's picture

HOMO

Drexyl's picture

Lol

wanted's picture

One MONTH !!!!! Yikes (NEVER)
One HOUR??? Man i remmember those days many years ago… Nowaday i put in my work until she wispers in my ear its your turn baby TAKE WHATS YOURS then DONE. Usually 10-15 minutes and sometimes get that early wood and i jump on top and the numbers on the clock dont even change and im done rolling off and back to bed

DeeMan's picture

Basically you take what you want..when you want. You couldn't care any less about what she thinks. Yeah that sounds about right you playboy haha.

press1's picture

I had a friend who got a hernia banging his bird Lol I've also had the twisted tube thing that goes into the bollock, that really hurts too. Use to feel like I'd been kicked in the nuts every time I walked or went over a bump in the car. Eventually had to go to the Doctors I was in so much pain and he gave the Old Ballsack a once over with me laid on his patient bed. Soon went away after a month or 2.

juiceball8082's picture

Epidimus

press1's picture

Yep thats the fella!! LMAO

Rosschestzip's picture

I’d say testicular torsion or twisted spermatic cord. I think the testicular torsion is like a hernia in your balls or something. I’ve had the twisted cord but I don’t think it hurt but I didn’t have it during sex so idk. But I doubt it’s blue balls. Blue balls is when you stop and don’t cum. You wouldn’t get it mid-sex

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addicted.to.pain's picture

I’d say testicular torsion or twisted spermatic cord. I think the testicular torsion is like a hernia in your balls or something.

I'm thinking more and more this could be what happened . But what ever it was it fixed itself after I "Released " which is why I jumped to thinking 'Blue Balls' .

Could be a Hernia like other's are suggesting but I do hope not.

Makwa's picture

Sounds like a hernia

addicted.to.pain's picture

I mean Maybe bro , but after I " Released " the Pain went away .

or are you telling me I pulled a hernia fucking this girl Christ.

NWApatches's picture

Bro that's not blue balls. Blue balls will just be an ache in your nuts. Prolly just a std/sti. I get them often. I actually use the experience to make my mind stronger and sharper. Thinking about issues of the world while blocking the pain out n such.

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Drexyl's picture

“C’mon doc, can’t you just write that the pills are for strep throat or something?”
Callondoc.com thank me later and merry Christmas

NWApatches's picture

Haha. Sorry I worded that wrong. After having grown up and settling down last year I no longer get infections crawling up my penis. Praise God. But I can remember them well. NEVER FORGET

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DeeMan's picture

Merry Christmas to both you guys @Drexyl and nwapatches.

Drexyl's picture

Thanks Big D, appreciate it. Merry Christmas to you as well

NWApatches's picture

Merry Christmas, DA - MAN @DeeMan

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DeeMan's picture

Lol nah never that. Thanks bro

addicted.to.pain's picture

Prolly just a std/sti. I get them often. I actually use the experience to make my mind stronger and sharper. Thinking about issues of the world while blocking the pain out n such.

lol I've had the ole burny pee before bro this was not that .