As I write this I have decided to leave my ego and pride at the door. I am writing this in hopes of maybe having some youngsters read and learn about the wrong way of using gear. It all started when I was 17 playing ball and all I needed was to be 185 pounds of cornerback hell, was some juice. Thats right just juice,no diet,no changing my workouts just the juice. I knew nothing of pct or anti estrogen plans to reduce sides all I knew was I wanted to go to a D1 school and had offers however they wanted me to gain 45 pounds in 1 year. I decided to go to mexico with some buddies and we bought a plethora of whatever they had. Back in the day the big deal in my parts was Sustanon. Instead of going into great detail it fucked me up. I got lucky when it comes to health but it made me lazy in the gym and I never until just about 6 months ago listened and got a routine. I WAS LAZY!!! I did not want it bad enough and I attribute it to starting to damn young. I will say I never wanted the block look and that still does nothing for me( Jay Cutler,Branch Warren, Ronnie Coleman) nah I wanted the Flex Wheeler look. To be honest those other dudes look cartoonish to me but thats just my opinion. I have a GOAL today thats right a goal to push myself to achieve and pass all the half ass shit from before. I decided to strip myself clean with a rigourous diet, tons of cardio, wind sprints and high reps medium weight pyramid down until failure. Well its working because I want it bad enough and with the help and knowledge of some good dudes on this site I can see light at the end of the tunnel. I am in a complete body recomp starting from scratch. I started this cycle October the 19th with some Test Cyp I got from the doc on TRT. I began 500mgs a week for the first 10 weeks then implemented Tren Ace and Test Prop at the 10 week mark. Pinning every other day sucks but I want it this time. The Test prop is being run at 100mgs EOD and the Tren Ace is being run at 75mgs eod in the same pin as the prop(no sides other than night sweats and the occasional dream from the Tren). I am still on the cyp at 500 mgs. My blood pressure is holding at 120/70 thanks to Tread and the blood pressure thread. I am drinking 1 to 2 gallons of water a day and taking in 2750 clean calories a day. My weight at this time is 174 pounds 11% body fat and I started the cycle at 185 pounds and some serious body fat in the way of a belly. I would of been blasted on here for starting in the condition I did but I wanted to make up for all the shit cycles I did in the past. The difference is I am dedicated and I want this more than I want to be a fat fuckin lazy shit turd. I have pictures on my mirror and in my truck that remind me what I want to be and what I dont want to be. I just want to say thanks to all of you for your insight and contributions to this site that have helped me break the lazy ass puke that I had become.