posted Wed, 06/24/2026 - 18:48
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+ 15 Life is beautiful
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Some time with my dog in nature makes it all make sense.
I was having some issues and it very well may have been using reta, it can cause depression. Off it now and feeling better.
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Glad you are finding some peace man. Outdoors and doggies, natures medicine.
I love this place. Most the time the guys here are gay and retarded, but the support given when someone is reaching out is unmatched. Love this community
I'm jealous brother, that's fucking nature's medicine right there, cures so maybe modern problems. Between this and my buddy sending me pics from an outdoor beer hall in Idaho last night it just makes me want to get away from all of the normal city shit I deal with and be out in the world
Glad you’re back on the good side of things brother, always check on your bros, never know what they’re going through. Beautiful sights and mans best friend right there with you, Godspeed my guy, life is as beautiful as you make it
Life truly is beautiful big bro. Sometimes, before i sleep i'll run through a list of all of the things I'm grateful for and acknowledge them outloud in my head. Even basic , little things like food. Sometimes the list is so long i fall asleep while running through it. It sounds silly but it's helped me keep perspective alot of times that i've found myself in the shithole.
Keep truckin'
Pet your dog for me homie, he's cute as hell.
Brother, this hit home.
Life has a way of leaving marks on all of us. Mine came from a difficult childhood, abuse, and losing people I loved. Different roads, but the result is familiar, you learn that some wounds don’t disappear, they just become part of who you are.
One thing I’ve learned is that healing isn’t forgetting. It’s slowly finding enough beauty that the pain no longer gets the final word.
My dog has been a huge part of that for me. No expectations, no judgment, just a reminder to get outside, breathe, and appreciate what’s right in front of me. It’s amazing how much peace they can bring when your mind won’t slow down.
Reading your story, one thing stood out more than anything else: your friend wasn’t alone. In the worst moment of his life, someone who loved him stayed. That matters. It doesn’t erase the trauma, but I truly believe it mattered to him.
I’ll be thinking about you tomorrow. I hope his celebration is full of stories, laughter, and the kind of memories that remind everyone what a good man he was.
Wishing you some peace, brother.
Really Nicely put mate
This analogy helped me through a very intense and extremely tragic time in my life.
Imagine your pain is a ball inside a jar, and on the side of the jar is a button that triggers all the emotions connected to that hurt.
When the wound is fresh, the ball is huge and the jar is small. Every movement causes the ball to hit the button. Almost everything reminds you of the pain. The emotions come often and intensely.
As time passes, something interesting happens. The pain doesn’t necessarily disappear, but your life begins to grow around it. The jar gets bigger. New experiences, new relationships, new memories, and new strengths create more space inside the jar. At the same time, the ball seems smaller.
Because there is more room, the ball doesn’t hit the button as often. Days, weeks, or even months may pass without that pain surfacing.
But the button is still there.
Sometimes a song, a smell, a date on the calendar, a place, or an unexpected memory shakes the jar. The ball rolls across and hits the button. In that moment, the emotions can feel just as real as they did years before.
The difference isn’t that the pain vanished. The difference is that it no longer controls every moment of your life.
Healing isn’t about getting rid of the ball. Healing is about growing the jar so large that the pain becomes only one small part of your story instead of the whole story.
This analogy helped me through a very intense and extremely tragic time in my life.
Imagine your pain is a ball inside a jar, and on the side of the jar is a button that triggers all the emotions connected to that hurt.
When the wound is fresh, the ball is huge and the jar is small. Every movement causes the ball to hit the button. Almost everything reminds you of the pain. The emotions come often and intensely.
As time passes, something interesting happens. The pain doesn’t necessarily disappear, but your life begins to grow around it. The jar gets bigger. New experiences, new relationships, new memories, and new strengths create more space inside the jar. At the same time, the ball seems smaller.
Because there is more room, the ball doesn’t hit the button as often. Days, weeks, or even months may pass without that pain surfacing.
But the button is still there.
Sometimes a song, a smell, a date on the calendar, a place, or an unexpected memory shakes the jar. The ball rolls across and hits the button. In that moment, the emotions can feel just as real as they did years before.
The difference isn’t that the pain vanished. The difference is that it no longer controls every moment of your life.
Healing isn’t about getting rid of the ball. Healing is about growing the jar so large that the pain becomes only one small part of your story instead of the whole story.
We have some great members on here currently - you are one of them mate.
That makes a lot of sense to me, your life grows around the past and gives you some room
That great news. Good looking dog an beautiful pics
The outdoors is the natural anti-depressant. Nothing beats the grass at your fee, fresh air, and the beautiful view. Hope you are doing some fishing while you are out there?
I hope you come back fully charged
Yup I have my rod, caught some decent trout
Sorry to hear about all of that. Not sure if anyone really gets over the deaths of loved ones, peaks and valleys I believe. That being said, in my experience reta definitely doesn't help. If I go too high for too long it almost makes it impossible to feel joy. And if I'm not feeling happy, then I start dwelling on past things. Glad you've taken a break from it and are starting to feel better.
Glad you are feeling better buddy
Why the hell are you using Reta - you are already naturally very lean??!!
Body dysmorphic crap no doubt.
Still trying to please my father like im that 12yo kid that was fat.
I kicked my dad out of my life but I can’t seem to shake the mirror and dysmorphia
You need to give your head a shake mate - Appreciate everything you have around you already and enjoy your life
Doing my best brother, currently micro dosing magic mushrooms. Using a little nicotine in form of pouches, some prayer and meditation.
It got really dark for a while.
I'm still interested in ketamine therapy in a clinical setting, and or doing an iboga retreat if I can afford it.
I'm 30 and been dealing with depression my whole life, after watching one of my closest friend die right before me last year theres been some ptsd as well.
I've done tons of therapy but its not given me relief.
I'm ready to invest in some heavy guns to help.
Some men can bounce back from that kind of thing without the ongoing experience, but unfortunately I still see him every day. It will be one year since he died on the 26th. 2 days.
What did he die from buddy?
We were working together and he went up in the lift truck to cut some trees, and the lift truck tipped over and he was slammed from 70ft.
It tore down the 13kv powerline he was going over, and it was only by the grace of god that I survived by being far enough away from the truck not to be electrocuted.
I stayed with him for over an hour as he died, first responders refused to enter the area because of the downed powerline. It was a nightmare.
I can totally see how you are having a hard and very tough time trying to deal with that memory mate, it's extremely unfortunate that he died in that way and that you had to see him suffering for that long. I cannot think of anyone in life that wouldn't be horrifically upsetting for. I personally think that the way you should view it is that it is a very special memory and period of time that you and him shared together, something that most humans will never come close to having. Its not something that you should continually dwell on and try as hard as you can to remove from your memory - Try to accept that it happened and there was nothing anyone could have done to change the outcome or to have been able to see the incident coming.
You were the last person he ever saw or spoke to pal and I am sure that if he had a choice of anyone else there it would have been you. Accept it mate and don't try to block it out, But also appreciate that you must move on with your own life and enjoy what time or indeed any of us have left. All this isn't gonna go on forever buddy - Pumpin Steroids, lifting weights, Chatting on eroids etc etc One day it will all end for every single one of us and every day you wake up is a day less you have in the diary - Don't waste it mate dwelling in the past over things you cannot change or that you wish hadn't happened. Thinking or acting like this does not mean that you think any less of him
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardships as the pathway to peace..."
Its complicated as memories can be.
I feel like the first responders failed him.
He was an awesome person, truly.
All of us that remember him will call him a jolly Neanderthal. A beast of a man, with rosy cheeks.
I'm glad he wasn't alone.
Still doesnt remove that trauma. He went limp in my arms. That was one of my best friends, my big brother. That kind of experience in my head was reserved for soldiers. But I lived it.
June 26, I'm throwing a celebration of his life.