+ 1 Eroids community this is 100% from the heart
No one ever said life is going to be easy (to me anyway).
The truth is that life is sometimes crule,unfair and down right heart breaking.
Today I cremated my sister of 48 years old. She was a lovely soul but was definitely dealt a bad hand in life. From the age of 16 she fell pregnant and died for 4 minutes resulting in server epilepsy lasting for 30 years.
4 years ago she had a fit on the stairs and broke her neck. She was told she'd never walk again.....she proved them wrong and ended up walking again with just a walking stick.
On Tuesday the 11th we had to switch off the machines keeping my sister alive after suffering a serious fit and choked on her vomit. This ment she died for several minutes starved of oxygen. We were first told she would pull through but then she went down hill as her brain started to swell and die.
I'll be honest guys I'm fucking heart broken and I regret not making more of an effort with her.......now I can't so I've got to live with that for the rest of my life.
The piont is don't leave shit you want to say bottled up. Forget petty squabbles with siblings and parents be the bigger man and put it aside and tell them you love them.
Spend time with them and get to know them.
Trust me my guilt will eat me till the day I die but I promise myself this, I will never neglect a loved one as long as I live.
Sorry to sound preachy guys but I honestly don't want anyone to go through what I am now.
Hope you all have a merry Christmas and a happy year and stay safe
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Sorry for your loss bro, i lost a lot of people during the war, but its different than losing such a close person as a sibiling or a parent which u used to live for a long time, thats a real challenge to put ur life together afterwards, stay strong brother, after all, we're all on the same path, and to him the almighty we shall return.
Thanks bro ;)
Unbeleivable mate, you wouldnt believe it she cheated on me.
Its over as of this morning.
Im in shock, fkn gut sick of it all and women.
I loved her more than ive ever loved anyone.
Fkn bs.
WTF
Sorry to hear that Flash. That is horrible.
I won't throw clichés at you. You will be ok. Keep the chin up man.
Update bro, had a meeting with her talked, got to the bottom of it all, she didnt cheat but was messaging with him through social media ( ex bf from a few yrs back) anyway conversation went south quickly as you can imagine my choice words about what i plan on doing to him, anyway got to the front of my house in her car ( meeting was in park at end of my street) i jumped in hers, anyway swearing and abuse at each other ( i was swearing about the guy not at her) and she decides to give me a hammer fist to the face and spit in my direction, ( shes totally innocent apparently because that relationship didnt end on bad terms) anyway i lost my temper got out with spit on me and EHONDA from street fighter her car.
She drove off.
She messaged saying shes going to the cops about her car and i said no worries your choice you go to cops i press assault charges and say good bye to your job.
Anyway me being my pshyco self decided to apologise to her today about the swearing and threatening ( basically my reaction) and obviously her car.
So as of now we are taking time to cool off then probably have another meeting next week and see what happens.
I do not control my partners or tell them what to do- the only one thing i said to her from the start was not to have anything to do with guys shes dated or slept with because its embarrasing and disrespectful towards me that is it!
She did not respect that wish and its caused this! I asked for that for a reason.
Anyway ill see how it all goes and update.
Im trying to be a better man these days but you can imagine what i want to do to the fucker but i wont go there.
Ah that's bullshit man.
She broke what is an unwritten fkn rule, but even still you said it out loud and there is absolutely nothing unreasonable about that.
Ex's are ex's for a reason, so if people let them or invite them back in, it's for a reason.
I dont want to say anything to encourage you to feel angrier but that is a cardinal sin for me.
Take care of yourself first man, you definitely dont need someone to bring drama to your life and do need someone who brings happiness and good vibes. We all deserve that, and not someone to snake around.
I hope next meet goes better for ya Flash. But if it doesnt, or there is any resistance to playing nice/fair, get yourself out of it man.
I sorted it all out with her last night starting over brand new where the past is the past.
She didnt cheat it was just communicating with him.
I will smash his face in when i catch him without her even knowing, he plays rugby so ill make sure he cant do that again shatter his shin bone to pieces.
I promised to be a better man and i am because a couple of years ago i would of shot him in the stomach upon opening his front door so imo a beating with a bat is still being a better man.
Im still taking all my meds and im still doing my thereapy " cognitive behaivoral therapy etc.
But unfortunatley there is nothing that can stop me because in the past week or so i got so low that at times i wanted to kill myself and if not for family i would of.
So fuck him.
And ill take it day by day with her, obviously its still affecting me but i do love her more than anything.
If my thought process starts getting in the way i will leave her for both of our benefit and peace.
We shall see.
I dont know what cliches you mean bro.
But yeah ive been going so well and dont wanna go back down so im fighting it.
Im feeling real low.
I dont know what to do about it as i said im not 100 on it just bits ive gathered and asked her about but she lied plus still had on social media etc etc.
Anyway im sick of it.
As low as i feel etc im not touching anything ( alcohol etc)
Its tough as you see below i fell completley in love with her.
ah clichés like time and all that bullshit.
Look man, you are a strong montherfucker. you're a beast, hard as nails and you have come through a lot.
Get in the gym every day man, head down, chin up. and you will definitely come through it without going off the rails.
Plus, get yourself a bit of strange. Nothing like a new chick to get you over a chick.
Cheers.
Will do in gym etc but as for the strange no thanks lol i sleep with her and fall in love then break up all in two weeks.
Lol.
Fucking hell mate!!!!!
I don't know what to say bro I'm so sorry...... how the fuck could she do that after everything you've been through.
I honestly hate shit like this I've lost 2 friends all because of a fucking women!!!!!!
Bro please pm me if you want to talk try not to do anything stupid..... they don't deserve that kind of reaction
Nah i wont do anything stupid.
Its just another event that doesnt seem real.
Im not a hundred percent that she did but lying about it and covering shit up.
It is an ex boyfriend of hers from years ago which makes it worse. Not worth jail time.
I love her but yeah.
Its fkd.
Anyway..
Alphamale500I am very sorry for your loss and I hope that this year is a much more happier year for you! None of my business, but maybe you can work through this situation with a therapist so you don't have to carry this guilt with you forever. Anyway, I wish you all the best!
Thanks bro ;)
Sorry for your loss brother I couldn't imagine losing a sibling
Thank you brother ;)
It's been a rough ride and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy........ but life goes on .
Stay safe bro
Hoping your all travelling ok under circumstances.
Smash them weights and love your misses more than you ever have, its helped me bro.
Thanks bro it means alot...... we're all doing ok just plodding on mate
I did take time off from training my head wasn't in it bro.
Luckily for me I have a fantastic wife who's kept my on the straight and narrow for years and your 100% right bro through this difficult time she's showed me how lucky I am.
Hope your doing well brother you know where to find me if you need to chat ;)
Same here bro somehow through a massive negative a positive evolved, ive never felt closer or happier with a lady ever been my back bone and i will reward her for it all- on our one year ( fuckall i know) but im planning to propose to her on that day, i know forsure she will say yes.
You know i took alot of time out aswell but it wont take long, i swear my body is soaking up test like a sponge- im only week 3 and im in full swing ( frontload before of course and ended up adding drol earlier than we discussed.
Full steam ahead.
Talk soon bro
Thanks for all the kind words and best wishes guys really means alot to me.
Hope you all had a good Christmas and wishing you all the best for 2019.
Stay safe guys ;)
I'm sorry brother condolences to you and yours.
Hope you get better man, I feel for you. I hope that next year treats you better and that you find some more peace. Recently had a family member die and all I can say is no matter how much it sucks, it will get better.
Brother first I really want to say I’m sorry for your situation but also thanks! To make a long story short I’ve had a stack of amends letters for over a month apologizing and telling certain people how much they mean to me and just haven’t been able to make myself send them for some reason. After reading this I know in my heart I’ll deliver them tomorrow. I know it does t mean much coming from a stranger but I hope things start looking up for you man!
Ace VenturaStep 9 is a tough one
Always here for you Kibby.
Sorry chief. Wish the very best To you and your family.
So sorry for your loss mate & regret is the worst pain on earth... just keep your head up & apply what you’ve learned through this my friend!!
Sorry for ur loss brother. I'm sure she is looking down and knows how much love and respect u truly have for her. Stay strong...
My condolences Kibby, very sorry to hear this.
We all have this tendency to blame ourselves when these situations occur, been to similar situation before and know how you feel. Stay strong, I’m sure your family needs you now man.
Sorry to read this Kibby, My Condolences.
Hey brother! I'm sorry for your loss. This is fromy heart to all eroids members and friends. Remember making mistakes is ok if you learn from them and dont repeat them. You are growing as a person. Admitting the issues and dealing with it. Keep failing!!!!! Keep making mistakes and fail as much as you can possibly stand!!!!find out your goals in life in many aspects and make your dreams and Hope's align with your potential! Care for yourself regardless of how you feel about yourself. You will find happiness. Get a routine. Your not 8n prison. Your free. Make and set up each of your days like the ideal perfect day for you that makes you happy and healthy. Grow. Because of cost of doing nothing is you have zero chance to improve. Go fail. Success is a force multiplier. Every single decision is important. Merry christmas
Sorry to hear brother, we all are one breath away from the grave at all times. Hope you have a great Christmas my man, we will keep you in our prayers to find comfort.
Sorry for your loss bro, it's never easy loosing a loved one. As you stated the only thing you can do now is to not neglect the ones you love that are still here. Condolences and Merry Christmas.
Great post brother!God Bless you and your family.Don’t beat yourself up,life is hard and we all are guilty of forgetting to really live with,know,and love those that mean the most to us.Tomorrow is never promised,so never forget to smell the roses.Sorry for you loss!!!
Sending you love Kibby. I can’t say I know how you feel but I know how it feels to lose the person closest to you and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.
She wouldn’t want you blaming yourself so do what you can not to.
Ps: she sounds like a hell of a fighter. I’d be proud to have her as a sister.
Sorry for your loss brother. It's never easy. Know that she's in a better place, pain free and happy. God bless.
I’m so sorry for your loss brother. God bless, and may she Rest In Peace.
Sorry for your loss brother.. we're here for ya if you need us.. hope you have a good Christmas in her memory man
We’ve spoken a lot about this my friend and I am with you in your pain. I am always here for you fella. Again so sorry for your loss.
So sorry to hear brother.
That's sad news mate. So sorry to hear that. Stay strong and try to have a good Christmas. Sincere regards.
Best wishes to you and your family kibby. Such a sad thing, your poor sis. Condolences bro, to ye all.
Will be thinking of ye over xmas pal.
Sorry bro that put tears to my eyes , sometimes we take things for granted until something like that happens stay strong bro
BluesSorry for your bereavement mate. The knowledge that she is free of this decaying shell we call our body and joyous in some other realm might offer you some comfort. She is everywhere and in everything now. My deepest condolences and respect.
Sorry for your loss
life piles it on bro, especially around the holidays.
Keep your head up, I feel for you.
AnonSorry for your loss
TrenLiverSorry for you loss bud.
It may not be easy but just presching this may make a difference with someone and a loved one in the future.
Got me thinking.
Happy holidays and God bless
My condolences. I buried my best friend yesterday. He was addicted to opiods. I had a feeling but I never pushed it. We we're supposed to go out last week. I wish I pushed harder. I wish I tried harder to be there for him. I feel your pain kibby. We were friends since we were 7 years old. All you can do is change the things you could have done into things you are going to do.
Sorry bro. There was nothing you could have done. I felt that way when my friends started dropping. No need beating yourself up. All my friends just denied it, until it was to late. It was after when ppl tried to paint them a certain way, when it was not the case. I fought to keep their image up. Not everyone who has died are thieves and bad ppl. I will keep you in my prayers