Want more sex from your old lady?
Gentlemen, once again I find myself tackling a more serious subject, and that is the subject of sex.
Today I read one of the most beautiful articles ever written:
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/want-more-sex-survey-says-stop-help...
Basically from what studies show, if you want more sex then you need to quit helping your old lady out with the shit that she's sposed to be doing. That's right.
Why shouldn't women have watches? Because there is a perfectly good one on the stove.
Now there is a catch. You need to be doing manly shit like, hunting, gathering, breadwinning. You know stuff that real men do. It's all about roles and brothers, I'm here to tell you it works!
Just yesterday my girlfriend asked me to help her with the dishes, and what did I do? I said:"Bitch please, help me with this" and I whipped out my johnson. I immediately got sex. One of the best 32 seconds of my life.
So the moral of the story? If you want some, quit being a woman and let your woman be the woman and you be the man. You don't need to be washing the dishes, or cleaning piss off the floor that you left that morning as you pissed off your prop induced morning wood. You need to be bringing home a paycheck and putting food on the table. That's it.
I know I'm going to get sensitive memebers in here like Tread-M who say: "But Ed, I like to be helpful and caring."
All I can say about that is; "Bitch please. Be helpful and caring with this!"
Thank you for your time.
All my love, Ed.
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i agree totally. one time i actually got so drunk that i pissed the bed and pissed all over my girlfriend and i didnt even realize it until i was at work later that day. when i got home she had cleaned the sheets and the mattress and "didnt need to talk about anything" and we had sex in that bed that night. Shes my wife now. Obviously.
That's one of the most romantic things I've ever heard. Just about made me cry.
Why shouldn't women have watches? Because there is a perfectly good one on the stove
^funny as hell
What if we have a maid that cleans the house, how am I supposed to make more sex if the wife isn't doing anything I can't not help her with? What is your plan now, gentleman?
Fire that maid and spend the money saved on gear.
Well played sir. I don't have a maid and I'm not married, just felt like throwing you guys a curve ball to this theory.
1) give me some $?
2) start bangin the maid swartzenegger did it
3) can I have a little more $ please?
Get that maid from the back while you make your wife scrub the floor with a toothbrush
I'm just kidding btw
Adopting this method would only end in tears in my house. My tears from the beating I'd get and more tears from the fact that I'd be getting even less sex!
Good post Ed, made me smile during a shitty day at work.
Lol. I talk a tough game but I cower like a beaten dog in real life.
LMAO - Sent you a FR
Accepted brother.
Lol this is not new information but a lost form of being the man in the family. Your woman respects you more and in turn more submissive. I wouldnt recommend treating her like a bitch though. I'm alpha and she is beta. Second in command in your family and treated with respect. There's so much more to it than you do the man shit and she does the woman shit but it is part of the role. She has to feel like you always got her back too. Even if you point out that she was wrong behind closed doors. She always come first even before your children. Without her you would not have them! I've been married almost 24 years and sex has never been an issue. Treat them well, respect them and consider their feelings and ideas carefully before you make a final decision. Own it when you're wrong and act like a man. She'll follow you to the ends of the world.
Agree completely they come first always
Even in front of children
Study show that children are better off if the parents put themselves first and children's need right next to there own and not always in front
Ed you are a God Damn Genious!!! That's why my relationships have failed... I helped out too much.. It's not anything I didn't do, It's that I do too much... Thanks for this awakening... I'm gonna go brow beat a woman right now!!
That's the. Spirit son. Get her back in the kitchen.
LMAO funny ass write up brother.
Also, i think thats a very accurate representation of human biology....males extend their selves in to society, while women nurture and embrace their surroundings....this is also representative of our respective sexual organs.
That's some deep shit right there brother.
You talking about your girlfriend again... I'm lost here?
Those sensitive members need lovin too Ed.. you'd be amazed what gets done by a lil role reversal. My lil Bitch gets shit done! Neither are deprived ova hurr...right dear?????
tread-mYes baby, are those shoes shiny enough yet? I need to get these dishes done if so .
They loook puurtty just gotta put em back in their boxes...nahhh dont worry bout them dishes...lets just cuddle for now. Then i'll take care of IT!
well me and my friends made a mess with beer cans everywhere at a girls place and i offered to clean it up, she found that some how sexy and funny because i was drunk. but she didnt let me, so the best thing to do is offer to do house work but never do it. its the thought that counts gentlemen not the action
Anoneds secretly a soccer mum!
CleyonUh oh! Here comes the science!!!
http://www.livescience.com/26696-housework-makes-men-less-sexy.html
AnonDude you are crazy... I would like to switch roles with you for a week or so
Funny, I just saw this story aired by a local news station.
AnonNow Ed your story is getting inconsistent , either that or you got a new GF. Because last I remember your gal had that purple mo mo you liked, and she used to bruise you up a bit after sex . Are you leaving that detail out ?
Well, she did burn me with her cheap ass cigar.
I hate it when she smokes cigars during sex.
Anonhahaha you know theres a great xxx vid Ive seen where the gal uses her cooch to smoke a cigar. Yer ole lady doesnt have tar stains down there does she ?
CleyonThat made me gag a little...
I'm going to try this out in about 15 minutes. She's in there huffing about the dishes, let's see how this hypothesis works.
I'll be damned... I told her it was my job to take her out and buy her nice shit... and her job to keep a good home... and well.. 1 hour later I'm a happy man....
That's the spirit drock! You need to say shit like:". Can't you get the dishes any cleaner than that?" And "hurry the hell up, I need a backtub to get in the mood tonight."
You better report back ;-)
I hope you dont expect tread to have sex with you too
Lol. I better clarify. I was talking about the dirty plate that I just ate a steak off of.
You better sell it better than that ...LOL
Yes. Especially to Tread.
better pull out some extra pucker for that one